Building relationships ?

[Carlos1881]

They say among  all the relationships, friendship is the best one..

Do you agree ? 

Look forward to hearing your thoughts guys 

Have fun weekend & Bank Holiday UK 

Karl 😀

[Rawmuscbtm]

Couldn't agree more. Throw in a good sense of humour and great taste in music, all that's missing is checking if he has all the sleazy bonus features to make the perfect fuckbuddy 

[PigBoyDallas]

Totally agree. Not looking or wanting to date here...more interested in friends.

[NoFucksGiven]

Fuckbuds are the best. All of the benefits. None of the slamming of doors or throwing of crockery. 

[BootmanLA]

I think it depends on what the friendship entails. 

[BootmanLA]

11 hours ago, RawPlug said:

Fuckbuds are the best. All of the benefits. None of the slamming of doors or throwing of crockery. 

Not that I think fuckbuds are a bad thing at all. But they don't provide *all* of the benefits a good relationship *can* provide (not that all do).

For instance, now that I'm approaching 60, having lost my father a few years back and with a mother in her mid-late 80's, I'm very conscious of end-of-life issues. Having a partner to help arrange things, in the last years (when I may not even be capable of making those arrangements myself) is something most fuckbuds wouldn't want to take on (or even know to take on).

There are also times when you need someone who's on your side, in your corner, no matter what; who's going to know that when something really serious happens, everything else gets dropped and you tackle that problem together. Most fuckbuds can't be counted on to do that (they might, if it's not inconvenient, but...). 

My general feeling is that if a relationship involves throwing crockery, it's a toxic relationship no matter whether it's "love", friendship, fuckbuddery, or whatever. 

[evilqueerpig]

Totally agree....the best relationship I was with a dear friend with benefits, may he rest in peace....it could've been more but the timing was never right.

[AlwaysOpen]

As a gay man nearing the 65 yr mark, I definitely think the concept of several (many)FB's versus a partner or very good, even if non sexual friend is overrated. Yeah, I know there is great freedom with a long line of FB's, no hurt feelings and even a sense of want or desire to be with , in, you. But those guys likely have a partner at home that they are invested in. Guys at home who they know birthday dates, shared experiences outside of a bedroom to recall and remember. I have posted a bit before my life line- but as a recap- I had a partner for 19 years- we did some travel together and apart, we celebrated holidays and birthdays and created memories together. He and I moved from a monogamous partnership to a " don't ask, don't tell, and don't bring it home"  footing after 10 years. And then he got diagnosed with spinal cancer around our 15th year. Lots of very long and very invasive surgeries, but his life got an extension. And when he was back up and moving, he went at life with both hands- unfortunately, he connected with a guy and had a 1 yr affair  regularly before telling me.  And he refused to drop the guy- so when the rubber met the road, I ended the relationship, upended  my life leaving 1 job  and the place I had called home for years, to start a new life with a part time job I had held during most of the time we were together, which helps offset household costs his paycheck did not cover. Within 6 months of me  leaving ( BTW- at this point they had been "lovers" for almost 3 years, and the ex had endured 2 more tumor surgeries) they split up and the other guy was out of the scene.  The ex and I were able to stay civil, and in fact almost friends 1000 miles apart,  And I was his proxy for health care up until the very end. He knew he could count on me to let him go in  peace when the time came, whereas he wasn't sure a family member would be able to say, Its time to let go.

I am not trying to be a hypocrite here- I have been a pig and opened my door and holes to guys , probably with a lot less care or concern than I should, since the split 21 years ago. And many, maybe most of the ones who want to come to my house, and play and get wild  likely have someone at home be it male or female, that they are slipping out on. Without exception, none has ever sent a Christmas card, or brought along a small gift no matter how many bottles of poppers, or how big a mess they made on their last visit. There  has never been  one to offer to help out with a ride when my car needed to go in the shop, or i needed to go in for same day surgery.  And, in most of the cases, all I have is a screen name, not a phone number and regular , non sexual contact. So take it from someone getting closer to that age ( hell, maybe I am already past the door)  where  you become invisible to  the  people hunting the hook up sites, where the site filters  others use no longer include your profile by and large based on age. Gay men are the reincarnation of Ponce de Leon- they seek youth, staying young and denying they are as old as they are.  So the 60 year old is seeking 25- 40, the 25 year old in his profile states "absolutely no one over 35!"  And  all the guys who went for FB's over true friends end up in their latter years either alone, or resorting to rent boys, or returning to the places they used to find a new trick a day when they were in their 30's- parks, bars, bath houses ( at 10 in the morning)  But even at that extent- damned few will wind their day up with someone to give a hug, or help with a task around the house. 

So really guys, take stock of your life, and know while a friend or partner may inhibit your wild side now and then, and require some hard work to make things work, in the long run you will experience a lot more of life.

[viking8x6]

I love the question!

In my experience of adult relationships, they are seldom just one "kind". Each one has its own unique combination of sex, friendly love, passionate love, and all the other ways two people can interact (including the negative and dysfunctional ones). Putting a label on them is convenient mostly for explaining to people outside the relationship, and even then it doesn't always work. I long ago lost count of the times I tried to explain to people in my gay chorus, "This is my partner, 'Q'. And this is her husband 'P'. We all live together." The relationship in question has since then been simplified, which is both good and bad. But people would inevitably assume something about who slept with whom or what our preferences were... and most often get it completely wrong. You know what happens when you ass-u-me.

So I try (sometimes without success) to bear that experience in mind when other people tell me about their relationships.

I will add that the best relationships in my experience are those where the people in them don't get hung up about sex or about passion, both of which are more temporary than many things in life. So, in that sense, I would agree that "friendship" is the best relationship.

[badubydo]

While I am looking for a relationship, I’m not looking for one with another guy. I’m what you would consider bi-sexual, but romantically I’m hetero-romantic. 
 

dating is hard enough these days, let alone dating while being “bi” 

I have a much older (twice my age or so) fuck bud about a year back. And I enjoyed it. We’d fuck, and could just talk about random shit. Definitely miss his nut in my butt, but he went into a relationship, so no more of that. 
 

I’d love to find another older fuck-buddy, that wants NSA, just good old bareback, breed my hole sex and we can just shoot the shit if want to before, or after he nuts in me, LOL

[SFCumdog]

On 5/4/2021 at 11:37 AM, AlwaysOpen said:

As a gay man nearing the 65 yr mark, I definitely think the concept of several (many)FB's versus a partner or very good, even if non sexual friend is overrated. Yeah, I know there is great freedom with a long line of FB's, no hurt feelings and even a sense of want or desire to be with , in, you. But those guys likely have a partner at home that they are invested in. Guys at home who they know birthday dates, shared experiences outside of a bedroom to recall and remember. I have posted a bit before my life line- but as a recap- I had a partner for 19 years- we did some travel together and apart, we celebrated holidays and birthdays and created memories together. He and I moved from a monogamous partnership to a " don't ask, don't tell, and don't bring it home"  footing after 10 years. And then he got diagnosed with spinal cancer around our 15th year. Lots of very long and very invasive surgeries, but his life got an extension. And when he was back up and moving, he went at life with both hands- unfortunately, he connected with a guy and had a 1 yr affair  regularly before telling me.  And he refused to drop the guy- so when the rubber met the road, I ended the relationship, upended  my life leaving 1 job  and the place I had called home for years, to start a new life with a part time job I had held during most of the time we were together, which helps offset household costs his paycheck did not cover. Within 6 months of me  leaving ( BTW- at this point they had been "lovers" for almost 3 years, and the ex had endured 2 more tumor surgeries) they split up and the other guy was out of the scene.  The ex and I were able to stay civil, and in fact almost friends 1000 miles apart,  And I was his proxy for health care up until the very end. He knew he could count on me to let him go in  peace when the time came, whereas he wasn't sure a family member would be able to say, Its time to let go.

I am not trying to be a hypocrite here- I have been a pig and opened my door and holes to guys , probably with a lot less care or concern than I should, since the split 21 years ago. And many, maybe most of the ones who want to come to my house, and play and get wild  likely have someone at home be it male or female, that they are slipping out on. Without exception, none has ever sent a Christmas card, or brought along a small gift no matter how many bottles of poppers, or how big a mess they made on their last visit. There  has never been  one to offer to help out with a ride when my car needed to go in the shop, or i needed to go in for same day surgery.  And, in most of the cases, all I have is a screen name, not a phone number and regular , non sexual contact. So take it from someone getting closer to that age ( hell, maybe I am already past the door)  where  you become invisible to  the  people hunting the hook up sites, where the site filters  others use no longer include your profile by and large based on age. Gay men are the reincarnation of Ponce de Leon- they seek youth, staying young and denying they are as old as they are.  So the 60 year old is seeking 25- 40, the 25 year old in his profile states "absolutely no one over 35!"  And  all the guys who went for FB's over true friends end up in their latter years either alone, or resorting to rent boys, or returning to the places they used to find a new trick a day when they were in their 30's- parks, bars, bath houses ( at 10 in the morning)  But even at that extent- damned few will wind their day up with someone to give a hug, or help with a task around the house. 

So really guys, take stock of your life, and know while a friend or partner may inhibit your wild side now and then, and require some hard work to make things work, in the long run you will experience a lot more of life.

Thank you for that. I think that's a message many of us need to hear.