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What name do you like tops referring to your hole?


xxbjn2

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13 hours ago, ErosWired said:

You say that you acknowledge no difference in power roles between Tops and bottoms, and then instantly illustrate your firm grasp of the reality of Power Exchange. The notion that the bottom or the submissive has the control in a Power Exchange is not new - it’s been a well-understood and well-accepted principle in BDSM circles for a very long time.

Perhaps I didn't make my point clear. Of course power exchange is a thing. You yourself note that the bottom having control in such situations is well established. But the average newbie coming into these discussions here would never get that perspective from the hundreds of wannabe subs posting on here about how low they are and have no use except as a semen receptacle. YOU know that you have chosen that role - and that you're free, if you choose, to abandon it - because you understand power exchange. What I object to is the way actual power exchange works is mischaracterized by people who don't understand it - and who, in all likelihood, are wanking fantasists at best.

And I wouldn't even care about that, except that many of these are the same people egging on naive bottoms to fuck without PrEP because - and this is my favorite - using PrEP somehow makes the sex not as enjoyable, not "real" sex. I've seen bullshit on here about how only poz people can "really" experience sex as it was meant to be. 

13 hours ago, ErosWired said:

You have made it repeatedly plain that you do not share the ethos of members here who place the satisfaction and pleasure of Tops above their own. So be it. You are entitled to your view. It is not, however, necessary for you to disparage them for it or cast aspersions on their character simply because you don’t understand them. 

I do understand them. I don't disparage them for making that *CHOICE*. I think it's important, however, to acknowledge that it IS a choice. We all recognize the harm caused by crappy "abstinence only" sex education, by "homosexuality is an abomination" preaching, and so forth. While it's of a different nature, I think there's just as much harm in the message that bottoms - not just the speaker, but all bottoms - need to submit to the whims of tops no matter what, and I've seen enough guys fucked over by abusive "relationships" along those lines that I'm going to speak up and say: choose that if you want, but make it an informed choice, and not something you've been convinced is standard.

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19 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Perhaps I didn't make my point clear. Of course power exchange is a thing. You yourself note that the bottom having control in such situations is well established. But the average newbie coming into these discussions here would never get that perspective from the hundreds of wannabe subs posting on here about how low they are and have no use except as a semen receptacle. YOU know that you have chosen that role - and that you're free, if you choose, to abandon it - because you understand power exchange. What I object to is the way actual power exchange works is mischaracterized by people who don't understand it - and who, in all likelihood, are wanking fantasists at best.

And I wouldn't even care about that, except that many of these are the same people egging on naive bottoms to fuck without PrEP because - and this is my favorite - using PrEP somehow makes the sex not as enjoyable, not "real" sex. I've seen bullshit on here about how only poz people can "really" experience sex as it was meant to be. 

I do understand them. I don't disparage them for making that *CHOICE*. I think it's important, however, to acknowledge that it IS a choice. We all recognize the harm caused by crappy "abstinence only" sex education, by "homosexuality is an abomination" preaching, and so forth. While it's of a different nature, I think there's just as much harm in the message that bottoms - not just the speaker, but all bottoms - need to submit to the whims of tops no matter what, and I've seen enough guys fucked over by abusive "relationships" along those lines that I'm going to speak up and say: choose that if you want, but make it an informed choice, and not something you've been convinced is standard.

One of the hazards of online communication is the lack of tone and visual cues that accompany face to face communication, so we all encounter situations where someone infers tone and attitude that are not intentionally implied.  Online is not the gentlest of worlds for exchange, i wish more grace was exercised online, given the pitfalls. 

i too have been guilty of inferring tone that may be unintended by you. On the other hand, you do know how to write and your posts are not devoid of inflection or enhancement that show disdain for certain 'types.'   [laughing] i often/repeatedly find myself checking your icon, convinced you're an 'alpha top.'  No emotional stereotypical response going on there, eh?  You do sometimes come off to me as generally disdainful and maybe a little superior. And honestly, you strike me as one of the deeper thinkers in this community, so i may have higher expectations from you? idk, i am being vulnerable by writing this stuff, i am not challenging you.

As expressed earlier in this thread, i do think there are guys who are more sub than bottom. The challenge of words is they can never fully describe the individual. i think the OP's original question and the various answers to it demonstrate that. E.g., just reading this thread demonstrates how many different perceptions there are of the word "pussy."  i think we would all do well to honor each individuals perception as theirs, a part of who they are instead of grousing if it doesn't fit our perception (not saying you are doing this, speaking generally here).

i too object to people who want to deny who i am as a bottom because i do not conform to their notion or idea of who or what a bottom should be. i do not want or need anyone to conform to my identity as a bottom, or vice versa. i believe you make a great point earlier in this discussion that it is crucial to use qualifiers like: "i think" or "i believe" vs just stating ones opinion/feelings as though they are universal facts that apply to all bottoms or Tops. i think there are a lot of people who simply do not understand how to write, and then others who really believe what they think/feel is universal. 

 

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I like pussy or hole.  I never really thought about my pussy being my primary sex organ until I read a few posts in this thread.  I think that is true for me.  Whether for love, lust or both, I know that no matter how the top mounts me, my pussy is for him to use.  It is having his cock in me that matters.  It's why I have a hole.   I don't feel that way about my mouth, it is different.  Yes, my mouth is for his pleasure too, but not in the same way. 

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