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I'm a white bottom in Brooklyn, into servicing Black and Brown tops. Recently I have seen dudes organizing local orgies where they rent a hotel room or suite. Everyone is supposed to chip in a small amount to pay for the room and drinks. I've dipped my toe in a couple of times, skeptical but hoping to find something legit. But in both cases the "organizer" kept coming back asking for more money, claiming that the numbers had increased and they had to get a bigger room, etc.

Fair enough -- I've been scammed worse. But this seems like such a simple thing, I feel like there must be legit parties like this. Should I continue looking? Any tips from successful attendees about how to recognize the real deal?

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I used to go to hotel orgies quite often.  An organizer would use his own money and make all the arrangements, which included the space (usually a suite, not just a room), staff, supplies, and refreshments.  Collecting money at the door, he hoped to recover what he had spent if the turnout was big enough.  It was always chancy because, typically, those who attended were not nearly as many as who might have responded in advance.  

This is the only system I know of, whether an event is held at a hotel, at a sex club, or in a private home.  If you put up money ahead of time, I think that makes you a member of a planning committee.  You are right if you expect to be informed of developments. 

I recently received an odd invitation by email, but it was not really the same as what you described.  I assume my email is on some list from years ago, when I attended those events regularly.  How do you find out about these suspicious events?

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23 hours ago, sweetbitch said:

I used to go to hotel orgies quite often.  An organizer would use his own money and make all the arrangements, which included the space (usually a suite, not just a room), staff, supplies, and refreshments.  Collecting money at the door, he hoped to recover what he had spent if the turnout was big enough.  It was always chancy because, typically, those who attended were not nearly as many as who might have responded in advance.  

This is the only system I know of, whether an event is held at a hotel, at a sex club, or in a private home.  If you put up money ahead of time, I think that makes you a member of a planning committee.  You are right if you expect to be informed of developments. 

I recently received an odd invitation by email, but it was not really the same as what you described.  I assume my email is on some list from years ago, when I attended those events regularly.  How do you find out about these suspicious events?

The invites I have seen are on local Brooklyn/Queens KIK groups.

The way you describe your past experiences sounds very similar. My issue was that the organizer (s) kept coming back asking for more money without granting access. I gave the benefit of the doubt, but after that happened a few times, I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being played.

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There was one in New Jersey that I wanted to check out if I was in the area, but never got a chance before covid. They disappeared after the restrictions and don't think they returned. I found it off grindr. Adam4adam has a party section that might have some.

I'd never pay in advance for any party, though even the established ones. Usually they pay for everything and collect at the door. If they don't break even that's the risk they take as the organizer. That's why established parties have promoters. Sex parties are notorious for having a huge rsvp list but maybe 15 to 30% show up. The organizers just have to plan around that..

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