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Unprotected sex with HIV positive. Shall I be worried?


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I had unprotected sex today with a top who was HIV positive since 2003 and he told me he cannot transmit the virus now. He said once he was taking 38 pills but now only takes 1.

I said no to him for sex but while foreplay I lost control of my mind and let him fuck me for like 5 strokes. I'm sure he didn't cum but I'm a virgin and know my asshole is a weak sucker for diseases. 

 

I'm very stressed. Shall I take PEP? If yes, where can I get it in a Berlin, Germany? I'm new to Germany and don't know German.

Edited by freeusebottom
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  • freeusebottom changed the title to Unprotected sex with HIV positive. Shall I be worried?

You probably have nothing to worry about.

If this guy is taking one pill a day, where he was once taking 38, that's a reflection of the advancement of medicine, not that he's slacking off on his medication. Virtually all HIV treatment today consists of a single pill taken daily; those pills contain 3 or 4 separate medications that, together, do what it used to take a mass of medicines to do.

Moreover, in most cases, those single-dose-per-day medications typically render the patient "undetectable", meaning that while he still has HIV, the level is so low in his system that it's not possible under any normal circumstances to transmit HIV to a partner.

I can't advise you as to where you could find PEP in Berlin, but it honestly shouldn't be necessary, unless he was lying to you about being undetectable, or about being on medication, or he somehow managed to ejaculate in you in those five strokes.

 Incidentally, being a virgin does not make your rectum "a weak sucker for diseases". 

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Thanks for sharing the information. He also said that he's been below detection limit for over 9 years now. And the number from laboratory signifies that there is no hiv virus in his blood anymore. Is that possible? 

If he's below detection limit then why is he still taking the medicines?

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5 hours ago, freeusebottom said:

Thanks for sharing the information. He also said that he's been below detection limit for over 9 years now. And the number from laboratory signifies that there is no hiv virus in his blood anymore. Is that possible? 

If he's below detection limit then why is he still taking the medicines?

The medicine keeps him below the detection limit.  If he stops taking the medicine, he will eventually go above the detection limit.

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5 hours ago, freeusebottom said:

Thanks for sharing the information. He also said that he's been below detection limit for over 9 years now. And the number from laboratory signifies that there is no hiv virus in his blood anymore. Is that possible? 

If he's below detection limit then why is he still taking the medicines?

To add to @NEDenver's excellent response:

HIV testing is complex; there are tests which are fast, and cheap, but not 100% accurate, and there are tests which are not quite as fast, and are more expensive, but which are much more accurate. The first kind of test includes home testing kits and what's known as the ELISA Test (which stands for enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay). The ELISA test looks for antibodies in your blood that indicate your body is trying to fight off a specific infection (like HIV). Because antibodies are not produced immediately after infection, an ELISA test may report a false negative for a while after infection occurs, and it may report a false positive if something else has triggered an immune response in your system. (If you get a negative ELISA test but you think you still may have been exposed to HIV, you should get another test a month or more later.)

The second kind of test includes what's called the Western Blot test, which is far more sensitive than ELISA. Generally, health care providers order a Western Blot test IF you get a positive ELISA test. This helps rule out false positive ELISA results.

Those are the binary, yes/no tests that look for signs of HIV infection.

Viral load testing, on the other hand, is not binary but quantitative - it counts the number of HIV virus particles in a given volume of blood, once it's confirmed that the person is in fact infected with HIV. There are several different tests that can be used for this, but all are similar in technique and produce similar results, although the exact numbers can vary.

When viral load testing produces a number below a given threshold, the patient is said to have an "undetectable" viral load. The official designation for "undetectable" has gone down over the years; it used to be that anything under 200 copies per milliliter of blood was considered undetectable, but more sensitive testing nowadays can detect levels as low as 20 copies per ml. Still, a person can be considered "undetectable" at levels above 20/ml, and anything below 200 copies/ml is considered "virally suppressed" - basically, that HIV is prevented from replicating at a rate capable of infecting someone else. It does NOT mean there's no HIV present - it's just that it's not enough to cause an infection in someone else through sex.

But - as @NEDenver noted, the viral load only stays that low when the person stays on medication that keeps the viral load suppressed. It's like taking blood pressure medication - if you stay on it, it helps keep your blood pressure from rising to dangerous levels, but if you stop taking it, high blood pressure can and probably will return. The difference is that with HIV, there's no "probably" about it - a person with HIV who goes off medications WILL see his viral load increase back to detectable and then infectious levels. So an HIV+ person who wants to stay undetectable has to stay on his medication.

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Get to the sexual health clinic tomorrow and speak to the doctors/nurses. English is widely spoken in Germany and that will particularly be the case in a medical environment. You're within the window period for PEP (72 hours, I believe) if it's 24 hours since you were fucked. Don't worry about being honest - tell them everything. They will have heard and seen everything, so nothing will surprise them.   

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Thanks everyone for your comments. I went to the emergency the day i got fucked. Took first dose of PEP.

My experience with just first dose of PEP is killing. I've no energy. I feel my backbone is going to break. And I've to take these meds for 30 days. 

Now I'm thinking i should believe the word of my partner that he cannot transmit the virus anymore. The side effects of PEP are unbearable.

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4 hours ago, freeusebottom said:

Thanks everyone for your comments. I went to the emergency the day i got fucked. Took first dose of PEP.

My experience with just first dose of PEP is killing. I've no energy. I feel my backbone is going to break. And I've to take these meds for 30 days. 

Now I'm thinking i should believe the word of my partner that he cannot transmit the virus anymore. The side effects of PEP are unbearable.

You should contact the clinic/hospital and tell them about your side effects. They may very well ease and then settle down, but they should be able to help and it's important they're aware of your side effects.  

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Glad it worked out for you.

 

I'll just add that for me this is a huge plus of being on PreP: you don't need to worry about the status of the other person, his viral load, whether he is telling the truth about himself, and so on. The ability to protect yourself is in your hands. I'd really encourage you to follow through and get on the medication.

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On 7/2/2022 at 7:26 PM, freeusebottom said:

I had unprotected sex today with a top who was HIV positive since 2003 and he told me he cannot transmit the virus now. He said once he was taking 38 pills but now only takes 1.

I said no to him for sex but while foreplay I lost control of my mind and let him fuck me for like 5 strokes. I'm sure he didn't cum but I'm a virgin and know my asshole is a weak sucker for diseases. 

 

I'm very stressed. Shall I take PEP? If yes, where can I get it in a Berlin, Germany? I'm new to Germany and don't know German.

If he was telling the truth, you don't have anything to worry about.

You might want to get checked regular for HIV and STD's if you fuck bareback. And talk to your health professional about starting PrEP.

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12 hours ago, bluedragon said:

Glad it worked out for you.

 

I'll just add that for me this is a huge plus of being on PreP: you don't need to worry about the status of the other person, his viral load, whether he is telling the truth about himself, and so on. The ability to protect yourself is in your hands. I'd really encourage you to follow through and get on the medication.

I rarely have sex. That too unprotected. No matter what I'm going to use condom from now on. But maybe once in a while I might have bareback sex.

Does taking PreP in my case affect me negatively if I'm not even have sex but still taking PreP to protect myself from the one time I might have bareback sex?

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