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Cheat or not?


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Cheating isn't the correct term for your dilemma. This isn't a lover, all this guy is, is a good friend.  Find someone(s) to have sex with or you will regret it the rest of your life. Put your cards on the table and if you lose the friendship then so be it. Chances are if you DO have sex with this guy it's going to be lousy. Jerking off is no substitue for sex. This situatio is NOT normal. Its primal and in your DNA to be the way you are, NOT what someone else wants you to be. Life goes by fast. when it's be happy for the things you DID, not for the things you didn't. 

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On 8/1/2022 at 10:05 AM, Close2MyBro said:

Why would you be in a relationship that isn't sexually satisfying? You really need to move on and find someone who's more compatible with your needs. So many people stay in miserable relationships when they're really no reason to do so.

Definitely. At one point years ago when I went in to have a physical, I spoke with my doc about my lack of sex drive with my bf. My testosterone levels were normal. That’s when I realized it wasn’t me and I ended it with him. My issue was fixed.

Edited by badjujuboy
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If you're not having sex and your BF is ok with that then meeting other men can hardly be called cheating. A man needs physical release whether it's getting your asshole pounded or pumping your loads in willing holes or mouths so go for it and enjoy guilt-free fucking and sucking.

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On 8/3/2022 at 10:23 AM, Bokkierob said:

If you're not having sex and your BF is ok with that then meeting other men can hardly be called cheating. A man needs physical release whether it's getting your asshole pounded or pumping your loads in willing holes or mouths so go for it and enjoy guilt-free fucking and sucking.

Cheating or the lack thereof isn't defined by "I want something and I'm not getting it here so it's okay to get it there".

Cheating is the violation of a rule, implicit or explicit. What matters isn't whether the OP is not getting the sex he wants; what matters is whether his "boyfriend" (scare quotes deliberately used) expects him to not have sex with others.

--if the OP's "boyfriend" doesn't think of himself as an actual boyfriend, then OP having sex with others isn't cheating.

--if the OP's "boyfriend" is an actual boyfriend but doesn't object to OP having sex with others, then OP having sex with others isn't cheating. OP can't know if that's the case without asking.

--if the OP's "boyfriend" *IS* a boyfriend and is expecting monogamy, then OP having sex with others IS cheating. But again, OP can't know if that's the case without asking. 

I stand by my original statement: I don't think OP's "boyfriend" thinks of himself as such, but the only way to answer that - and to answer the question about expectations of monogamy, if he *IS* a boyfriend - is to have a frank discussion with the guy. 

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