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When one of your favourite studs passes, How do you react


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A few pornstars I grew up watching are nolonger with us. Especially recently there has been a number of high profile porn stars passing on. Has any of your favourite porn stars passed on and if so are you sad or do you pay tribute to them.

I feel bad watchig their porn or thinking about them in a sexual way after they pass away given that they are no longer here and it seems a odd (in my mind) to masturbate over them when they are no longer with us

Whats your opinion??

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I hope I don't sound too callous in the following.

I've been out for over 40 years now, and have watched a variety of porn over the years going back to some filmed (yes, on film) back in the 1970's. A huge portion of the performers in the porn of the 70's, 80's, and even 90's are now dead, some because of old age (hot guys who were, say, 35 in 1975 would be in their eighties now), a good many from HIV-related health issues, and a not insignificant number from drug-related causes, not counting at least half a dozen I could probably name who met an untimely death through violence.

Maybe having been through (not closely, mind you, just as an observer) so many, many deaths over the decades, it just doesn't occur to me to be squicked out watching someone I know has passed on. I certainly don't feel that way about mainstream actors and actresses in movies - you'll pry my copy of All About Eve out of my cold, dead hands - and I don't see much reason to change my view simply because the pleasure I derive from watching the performance is erotic and/or sexual instead of intellectual and/or emotional.

That's not to say my way of looking at this is, or ought to be, standard - just stating the facts for me and me alone. 

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Watching clips of a porn performer who has died of AIDS gets my dick rock hard. It turns me on watching them give and take toxic seed with other horny men on screen.

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I accept the fact that we are all going to pass away at some point.  Death and taxes, two things that are inevitable.    I believe that guys who do porn are just like the rest of us.  However in the advent of the internet and social media, when someone from the adult entertainment industry passes away it may grab 30 seconds on some gay website.  Twenty years ago that was not the case, you may not have heard about someone you recognize passing for weeks or months.

I try not to make assumptions about why someone has died.  It's a cliche to say "oh another drug overdose".   Not long ago, I believe I watched on U-Tube, a tribute to gay porn stars who have passed away.  You would think AIDS or Drugs were the usual reasons.  What I found surprising were so many who died from things anyone can die from. Car accidents, domestic abuse issues, home invasions, etc.  The reasons can vary.  I don't start researching to look at someone's "body of work" in porn just because they passed away.

If they come across my computer, or on the screen when I look up at a party, it clicks in my mind that they are no longer with us.  But I certainly don't get aroused or depressed.   These people, just like other people died, and that's  part of the cycle of life.

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2 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

These people, just like other people died, and that's  part of the cycle of life.

To my way of thinking, that's spot-on.  It's not just we humans, it's everything.  Every living thing is part of what you're calling the cycle of life.  Some folks choose to mourn the loss, some folks choose to celebrate what was - even if for a shorter span of time than expected.  Usually though, I don't feel any kind of "connection" to a performer I've never met.  For me, there has to be some kind of personal, *real* connection before I really "miss" them. 

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I have to say that I do feel a tinge of sadness watching porn of those I know have passed.  I just discovered a new favorite video, and one of the performers passed five years ago.  I find it hard to be aroused by his scenes though he was a beautiful man.  Another of my favorites ODed a while back.  I don't get aroused by his videos anymore, but I do enjoy them.  He was a powerhouse fuck with incredible charisma, who truly enjoyed every hole he obliterated.  I don't shed tears over those porn actors who have passed on, I don't skip their videos,  but I can't say I feel nothing.  It may be a momentary melancholy,  but it's something. 

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Maybe it's because of my non xtian spirituality, but I have no problem finding attraction in guys who are no longer here. I know a couple of casual sexual partners who have gone on, and I don't feel bad about wanking myself on their memories. Similarly there are a couple of porn stars from the past who I really get off on, and kind of hope behind the veil they don't mind my attention. Al Parker being a good case in point, fancied from the minute I saw him, and was the gold standard in sexiness when I became sexually active in the 80s. It would be a bit weird to fetishise their ends mind you in terms of AIDS, but I connect with the lusty abandonment they display.

However as a real fan of Titpig, I did think I'd let him settle and for his friends and family to go through the grieving process before I bang one out watching Blue Moon or whatever. Admittedly that does undermine my point a bit but try to listen to my soul and get guided by it lol

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considering the majority of discussions and content on BZ.....this question struck me as being sensitive, which i appreciate. 

thinking about past experiences with guys late of this world, i can recall a number of "taking my breath away" moments that i indulge privately. i will rarely if ever chat about them publicly....and strive to bring those experiences to new hook-ups and sexual friendships as a way of honoring the experience and the person.

say what you like, but after all the cocks are sucked and holes are fucked, we're all human. i encourage all to enjoy the engagement, and bring everything you have to each opportunity.

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  • 1 month later...
On 1/13/2023 at 9:14 PM, ellentonboy said:

I accept the fact that we are all going to pass away at some point.  Death and taxes, two things that are inevitable.    I believe that guys who do porn are just like the rest of us.  However in the advent of the internet and social media, when someone from the adult entertainment industry passes away it may grab 30 seconds on some gay website.  Twenty years ago that was not the case, you may not have heard about someone you recognize passing for weeks or months.

I try not to make assumptions about why someone has died.  It's a cliche to say "oh another drug overdose".   Not long ago, I believe I watched on U-Tube, a tribute to gay porn stars who have passed away.  You would think AIDS or Drugs were the usual reasons.  What I found surprising were so many who died from things anyone can die from. Car accidents, domestic abuse issues, home invasions, etc.  The reasons can vary.  I don't start researching to look at someone's "body of work" in porn just because they passed away.

If they come across my computer, or on the screen when I look up at a party, it clicks in my mind that they are no longer with us.  But I certainly don't get aroused or depressed.   These people, just like other people died, and that's  part of the cycle of life.

Home invasions? Is that something people commonly die from in the U.S?

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15 hours ago, Leather-lee said:

Home invasions? Is that something people commonly die from in the U.S?

No, not normally.  However, I can't remember how far back there was a photo of a guy who has done porn here in the US and I believe he died as the result of a home invasion in Baltimore.  I could have the city wrong but was here in the US, which is why I mentioned it.  It seemed rather unusual to me, but I guess it depends on where you live.

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