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Bottoms up, Andy.


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It's been almost 4 years since I ended up in Toronto and although I've done well professionally, I was still not doing so well personally. Relationship wise, nothing remarkable had happened. I had a few relationships here and there but I found that I was not really ready to commit myself into a life of monogamy that includes mortgage and monotony. The guys were great but they were predictable. The last guy I was with, Devin, begged me to take him back after he caught me piston fucking someone from my running team on our sectional sofa, in the middle of the living room. We had only moved in for about 5 months and things were becoming stale. I thought that I could just not go through the talk and just show him how the effort I've put in our relationship has dissipated. Yet, he persisted on forgiving me and we've come to a sort of open agreement that he was quite happy with, even though I was getting around more often than him. 

Devin is a shorter than me at 5'8, I'm 5'11. I turned 31 last month and Devin, though smaller than me is 33. He's built stocky and evidently, spends more time at the gym in sculpting his physique. Naturally, I'm blessed with a swimmers figure and try to run when I can. Devin's conservative Vietnamese upbringing had always fascinated me, but it grew him out to be sort of prudish, believing in a very heteronormative way of life. Him suggesting for us to be polyamorous rather than straight separation was better than his greatest fear of being alone. I could only do my best.

It is also quite obvious at this point that I was always the top since Devin's glutes were made of gold. He could mount me and make me cum quicker than most guys I've fucked. I was lucky to have a piece of ass like Devin, but there were times where I too wish to get plowed by a good old fashion cock like I could when I first came out of the closet. When Devin said that we could bring other guys over, the smirk I gave him was probably the most authentic emotion I've expressed to him in a while.

"Even if he tops me?"

Devin stared momentarily and nodded. 

"Only if you do it in the other room"

I've only gotten fucked twice since I started seeing Devin. Sadly, it was the same guy from work who now had changed cities. He was also on the downlow with a fiancée back in his home town. It had been almost 9 months since. When I started to explore my sexuality, I've always seen myself as a total top, but the first time I bottomed, I knew it had to be cherished for a few people. The man who impaled me for the first time was a T.A. I had back in Queens, Rostam if I remembered correctly. A doctorate student from Iran. His juggernaut sort of arms held my broad chest from behind in an inescapable lock, penetrating himself into me in a rhythm that we both danced to. I still remember how massive his girth had expanded my hole into another dimension. I could only push myself back against him as it was impossible to move any further. With his other arm, he held my waist to guide me in following his pace. It was one of the longest fuck I've had, and the most memorable. I was lucky that my first time bottoming was fucking incredible.

Not only that, It was also the first time I came without touching my own cock once, as his careful gyration was also making orgasm gliding up and down and finally, to the point of no return. I can still remember his pants and heavy breathing close to me, as he rested his chin on the right side of my shoulder, grazing it with his smooth facial hair. I felt him caressing my ears, teasing me with small bites at the lobes, whispering how great I felt and how he was going to come inside me with his warm load. I had no fear of being bred, even if I wasn't on prep. The moment he had reached climax with his final exhalation, I too froze with him in that moment and noticed how my cock had been leaking before ejaculating slowly. Though I hadn't come much, the orgasm I felt was once in a lifetime.

Since then, I prefer to top rather than bottom but when the opportunity arises, you bet I'm going to take a cock like a good boy. Only if the guy was a fraction of how Rostam was. The DL coworker I had was well endowed, though far from what I desired. 

The weather was getting warmer and it seemed that we were now in Spring. It was Friday night and Devin had plans to go to the bar with some people from spin class. I brushed by him quickly before he left to tell him that I might have someone over. He only pecked me on the cheek and wished me a good evening. We could've argued and I sensed it in him, but I'm sure we both don't wanna waste any time.

15 minutes to 9 PM and I open the apps for the first time that day. Devin had left around 8 and if I plan it properly, I could be done by 12, or earlier and minimize any potential guilt that would happen if Devin sees me with someone else. 

The grid was messy as always, littered with ads. They get worse with each update and yet I come back. 10 minutes after I reached my scrolling limit and hopelessly put my phone away, I got a tap notification from an profile with only a pic of his torso, wearing leather harness, framing his chest with tits, both pierced. Age, 52. Name: Ludvig. In normal circumstances, I'd be picky, and go for guys around my age, but I was already exhausting myself with second thoughts and was feeling adventurous, assured in taking the plunge like I had before, especially when I found myself reminiscing the good fuck I had in my youth. 

I began the conversation with a

"Hi, how's it going?"

"Not bad, just looking for company tonight. You have nice eyes."

"Thanks, do you have any photos yourself?"

 Immediately I received 5 photos. The first was him in leather chaps, probably the full photo of his prof pic, with his head now shown. He was tall, almost 6'2 and was slender. Buzzed clean cut with a sharp widows peak. At the centre, a septum piercing. Eyes were hollow, with dark iris and despite his weary figure, his lower body was lean and he remained muscular above, especially at the arms.

The next photo was similar, but arms now crossed and showed volume. His expression was also more sinister, naughty maybe. His smile was seductive yet eery.  I'd be lying if I say I wasn't turned on. Strange given that my preferences usually don't align with the likes of this man.

The third was him lying on his bed, nude and legs apart. He had a serpent for a dick. It was thick and was comparable to my own palm. I couldn't imagine gripping it. There was even a can of lager on the side of his thigh for comparison sakes. The icing on the cake was the bright golden P.A. at the tip of his member, curved and shiny thanks to the reflection of the flash. He was leaning against a bed frame, in a nonchalant manner while maintaining his gaze to the camera. His mysterious expression seemed to brought out a sort of force which compelled me to desire him.

The fourth picture was him in a leather jockstrap, with only his back shown. A scorpion tattoo centred right below his neck, with both claws spreading on his lats. The tail, trailed down to his spine, ending with its sting pointed before touching the waist. Above the head of the scorpion, the numbers 1996, arched in gothic style. 

Physically, his back was more defined and sculpted than his front. He had a similar kind of V frame as me though his massive arms had also balanced his torso symmetrically, giving the tattoo a perfect fit. His ass was firm, and resembled solid buns with little fat and thorough edges, just like the other parts of his body that was thin and weary. Perhaps it was the effect of age and my lack of experience with elder men that lead me to these observations that might seem shallow, though I was not discouraged in the slightest.

The fifth, which I assumed was his way of saving the best for last, was not a photo of a video compilation of him, fucking a few guys, probably 8 clips in total, all ranging in shape, size but similar in my age. The duration was almost 18 minutes. I felt as if skipping them was a disservice. In each subsequent clips, all of the bottoms shared a look of ecstasy and submission that he was verbally instructing them to follow. He was not just commanding, but encouraging the bottoms on how to accommodate him. Clearly, his size tested some of their patience but his manner of speaking was gentle and careful but also at times strict if they flinch. They were like animals that only he could tame. Some of the guys were also spanked and whipped, much to their approval if they attempted to escape his grip. Each guy, Ludvig rode had rode with their full willing submission. 

In the clips, each of them begged for his load, even the ones who taking it with pain and each time before he came, right at the peak of his final thrust, he would never fail to ask the bottom if they're ready for his special gift. None denied or tried to move. They all accepted and slammed themselves into him while he tightly lock himself on them, ensuring that not a drop is wasted. When Ludvig pulled out, after momentarily resting himself in them until he turns flaccid, the camera would pan to their back, legs now spread tilted up to show the loads that would ooze out the his load. It was always full, never missing in its trail across their scrotum till it reaches their tight balls, dripping from above and onto the sheets without fail. If Ludvig was generous, he would scoop the load and feed the bottom. Only in one clip did he felch a bottom out, holding his head with both his hands after, nodding him to open his mouth and telling him how good he was before releasing the load drop from his mouth and onto the other.  String of cum in weblike fashion would be seen as they make out. Why was I turned on from seeing such filth?

Secretly, I envied watching how satisfied the bottoms were. Even after getting bred, they were still in lust, begging him for more, only for him to pat their face saying soon, boy, soon and how they'll all be part of the family if they want more. They all had the same expression, eyes dilated, agreeing without a thought and filled with a carnal craving that was slowly forming inside me.

I replied

"Wow, hot pics. Got me really horny tbh."

"I'm sure it did. You have that look."

"What kind?"

"The one that is desperately craving for a cock like mine"

I had to take a moment to think of a reply. I really felt flushed and collected myself before sharing my location.

"How soon can you be here?"

"Give me 30."

While I waited, I realized how I couldn't recall the last time I felt this excited and nervous in hooking up with someone. Even the first fucks I've done behind Devin's back, I felt little remorse or shame. Perhaps because he was coming over, but I've had my string of guys here before. Perhaps it was also the first time I was going to bottom in years, and that the excitement could be from the guys getting fucked by him before. It was my turn to be one of them whispered my thoughts intrusively. 

I had no desire to wear a jock, just a pair of briefs. The balcony door was slightly ajar, letting the daft in. I found a bottle of poppers in Devin's side of the cabinet. All kinds of brands but same effect nonetheless. Surprisingly, I douched easily with close to no waste. It was a sign that my body had been ready before I was mentally. I tidied the guest room and took out some towels. The poppers were placed at the side table and I took a glance at myself in the mirror, wondering how this night will be with me on the receiving end. My ass is nothing compared toDevin, but it was peachy enough. Bigger than most twinks and barely sagged like most dudes. I then lied on the bed and tried to position myself in different ways, figuring out which would make me feel the most comfortable though I knew deep down that it wouldn't be my decision to make on how I would lay. I even tried to arch my legs up, lifting my ass like the guys Ludvig had fuck did, fantasizing how that would be me in a few hours. 

A notification popped out from my phone. One text from Ludvig.

"Are you open to partying?"

"Depends. What kind?"

"T."

"Never tried it. I don't smoke though"

"You don't need to."

"Sure"

I've heard of T but I never gave much thought of it. From what I've seen they're those who are functional and those who ruin their lives when it comes to crystal meth. The substances I've done in the past, illicit or not can look like a grocery list, but for what it's worth, I never found myself succumbing into dependence and total depravation. Plus, excluding anything that requires smoking has probably kept me safe from many. Snorting, on the other hand makes my nose bleed which I find to be not worth it. 

Within minutes of replying, I heard the intercom. I buzzed him in from my phone and took out a few cans of beer. When I heard the knock on the door, I gulped and made my way. Each step I made to the door felt long, and it's as if time halted because my thoughts were now racing more than before, in a mixture of lust, desire and admittedly, fear of who I'm about to let in. It's the plunge, I keep reminding myself.

The lock turned anticlockwise and I pulled the handle to open and face Ludvig. His photos did no justice in showing how tall he was as I felt a shadow swept cased on me when the door opened. I looked up to his gaze, the same sinister gaze which I now can see being naughty too. He smirked and said

Hello, nice to meet you Andy.

He put his hands on my shoulder we embraced in a sort of hug. I had not expected it. It was electrifying to say the last. Feeling the rub of his body against mine while he was clothed and me only in a robe. 

I asked him if he'd like any drinks and asked for Gatorade. I never drink it, but I knew Devin always has them. We made our way directly to the guest room where the TV was showing a sort of screen saver and the only source of light was a bed lamp that sat next to the bottle of poppers.

We sat on the bed and funnily enough, there was an awkward silence as my excitement had also froze me from behaving normally.

"I feel like you don't do this often, do you Andy?"

"No, it's been a while. I mean, fucking other guys is fine but it's been so long since I bottomed"

"Really? Why's that?"

With little thought, I blurted how the first time Rostam fucked me made me avoid bottoming and how I'd only do it if I could experience it the same way. How being with Devin also was a factor and how watching the videos brought out a primal urge that I never thought I had. It's as if I started to feel something again in terms of my libido, like it has been resurrected since Ludvig texted me even though it hasn't even been a day. I rambled like a gun was placed on my head. Ludvig nodded and understood, absorbing my confession and holding my shoulder, before pecking me and telling me how we could start slow and see what I like and what I don't like.

I threw the robe I wore across the room and Ludvig took of his jumper, now in his tanktop and black jeans. He then paused to grab his bag to search for somethings. 

"Your briefs look good but I'd like to see you in this"

In his hand was a pair of white jocks that seemed used, a bit grey now with its texture hard as if something had dried on it. The band was barely elastic but it was still in good shape.

"I always fuck my boys in this. Makes them feel special."

I had no hesitation and stripped accordingly. Pulling it up, it also felt a bit moist, though the band secured my waist perfectly and in the mirror, my ass looked better than with the briefs. On closer inspection, I noticed there was also some dyed out writings done in black market, something I couldn't make out. Ludvig was now impressed and pulled me into him, arms engulfing me as we continued to kiss and play with our tongues. I was never this experimental in my foreplay, but Ludvig had me take his spit and lick his armpits, acts I've never done before which I did with no qualms. For some reason, it felt natural for me to listen to him. He too returned the favour and sniffed my pits, devouring it before reaching for my lips to turn my tongue inside out again. 

"Do you have the gatorade?"

I passed him a bottle and he unscrew the cap, pouring a small vial of a colourless liquid. He took a sip before telling me to gulp it all. I knew I had been compelled the moment I looked up at him. The foreplay we began with came to a halt when Ludvig unbuckled his belt and instructed me to turn on my back. He pulled his jeans off and naturally, he was in commando. With only a metal cock ring in place, I finally saw what I craved for. It was perfect and still flaccid. Thick and uncut. His balls too were massive and freely hanging off, whispering me to throw myself into it. The P.A. too was there, now studded in silver.

In an instance, Ludvig grabbed my limbs and used the belt to tie me up.

"This won't take long, Andy, trust me."

I now faced the ceiling with my arms and feet held right above my stomach. In my attempt to show my obedience, I barely moved and remained still. Another vial, bigger than before was now in Ludvig's hand and I felt my hole being touched. How it has been too long to have it played. Tenderly, Ludvig brushed with his thumb and teased it in by pushing in, but never fully. I released my first moans of the night, repeatedly saying woah and dude in intervals. 

Suddenly, I felt a sharp slap, causing me to yelp. The slap had reached most of the nerves around my hole.

"I'm not a dude, Andy. I'm Sir Ludvig. You are only allowed to call me by my name or title, is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

The moment I felt those fingers again, I had forgotten that I had felt any pain. Still tied, I could only look above and caught a glimpse of Ludvig standing, preparing the vial carefully. 

"This might sting, but I promise you it's worth it. Bottoms up, Andy."

Ludvig dived into my hole, rimming me for a split second to further tease me before inserting his index fingers and pushing my sphincter apart. He did it quick and rough, scratching my insides a little. The liquid from the vial poured into my hole and what felt cold at first, became prickly and warm before settling in me.

The belt was pulled off from me and was now hooked onto my neck like a collar. Ludvig pulled my head to his crotch, burying me in the bushy, warm cock that will soon be in me.

I gave my best in sucking his cock. I caressed his balls and worshipped it. Ludvig was a grower, not a shower as I didn't expect how big he would be as he got hard. At each stroke I try to take, I had to put in more effort. I could sense the girth challenging my throat. Ludvig never stopped to tell me how good I was and how consistent I've been. 

"You've a strong will power, don't you know that boy? Not that often I find boys like you going in for the kill"

I could only nod as I did not want to risk my focus on having his cock. Ludvig was also right, I managed to fully take him in my throat, as painful as it was and even if I was on the verge of tears. I did it.

Ludvig pulled out of me fast, instantly relieving myself. I caught my breathe and held it. A strange new sensation now came up on me. Holding his cock, I look up to Ludvig, who was now grinning more than before. A look of accomplishment I could see in him.

"You're feeling it now, Andy. Don't worry, let it in."

I wasn't sure what he meant but I knew I was feeling better. Euphoric, even. As if I hadn't felt any sort o pain in the past hour. My body felt as if it was hit by a wave of pleasure that didn't seem to stop any soon. When I look at Ludvig, I felt different than before. It's as if I am now at his disposal and that my only purpose is to satisfy him. My ass was also tingling and in need of a cock, Ludvig if anything. My wants now became needs that had to be immediately satisfied. Any sort of stimulation could do. I stopped thinking straight and was now behaving in a way where my desires were now paramount. The primal urge to be fucked was now palpable in me. 

I grabbed Ludwig after giving his cock another lick and when I looked at him in the eyes, asking him when he'll be in me because my hole was now in frenzy. He laughed and kissed me, telling me soon boy soon. 

"Now lie on your back again"

I obliged and was tied again. Not as tight as before, my legs were spread wide, hindering any kind of movement that would allow me to close. I could feel my hole exposed in the air and I heard the sound of a camera shutter coming from Ludvig's hand. 

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"Very nice, Andy. Memories we can look back. Your first time and hopefully, your first of many...."

I could only smile as my emotions were now at an all time high. Beads of sweat formed on my temples, dropping across my face. I tasted one of its salty drop running by my lip. My armpit was also perspiring. Ludvig didn't lose a chance to sniff into it while he was examining me. The sensation I feel going through my body didn't once change and my purpose at that moment was to satisfy him and only him.

The phone was now mounted onto a tripod diagonally from the bed. Now behind me, Ludvig took a while to observe me, drenching now in silence. 

"You are very obedient, aren't you Andy? You don't make much noise. I'm very much impressed. Quiet and full of dark desires. What do you want now, Andy?"

"I want you to fuck me Sir, please. I don't know why but I know I just need it. Give me your cock, cum in my mouth or ass I don't know."

I now know that I had been spun in that moment. Did I have any regrets in what I said? Not even once.

"Ah but I do have to say that you can be quite impatient. You crave for my load in you? It's very potent if you must know.."

"I don't care. Fuck. I know you're poz. Do it. Poz me. Give me your strain"

I knew this was going to happen. The minute I saw the third pic I knew I wanted it. I just needed that push from Sir to admit it.

"Well well well, how forward of you. Now that makes it easy, doesn't it? No hints or whatsoever, just verbal communication"

"Yes, Sir, please, I've said what I wanted, just do it. Woah, haha"

Another wave of pure pleasure hit me again, I couldn't stop saying woah in my breathes, feeling more elated than before.

"You've reached another level now, Andy. I think it's time."

Without any warning, I felt the sharp beard diving into my hole. I ascended into heaven when the rimming started. Ludvig's stubble now amplifying the nerve around my hole. I felt his tongue pushing in and out of me. His spit was the only lubricant that was needed. He took his time and I was able to control my breaths and notice how spun I was. For a good 10 minutes, my pants was complimented by the sound of my hole being slurped. 

"Relax now, don't be to stiff"

My limbs were positioned to the bed's edges and I could only look straight. Ludvig placed himself on top of me and brushed his hands on my back, pressing it before coming down close to my ear. His head was now right behind mine and he was squeezing both my arms that were hooked. I was immobile.

He too was sweating and I felt his warmth while he was close to me.

"You know Andy, I have a feeling we're going to see each other quite often, don't you think so?"

"Yes, Sir, I'd want that."

"Your desire, to have a part of me, well I don't think we can achieve that tonight, but we can start somewhere. You want to join the family?"

"Fuck yes, Sir."

"Man you really are eager. Don't worry boy, we'll welcome you with open arms. You don't know how luck you are to get a strain like mine."

"A strain from 1996?"

I was still breathing heavily, full on sweat, feeling Ludvig's weight on me, skin to skin.

"Damn fucking right it is. You'll promise me that you're going to cherish it won't you? Only poz those that want it? Keep it exclusive. We're only 7 left today."

"I'll be the eighth, Sir?"

"That's right, lucky number 8. Youngest one too. You'll fit right in with the rest."

"Thank you Sir, I appreciate it."

"No no boy, thank you."

Ludvig lifted himself up and started to rim me again. This time, there were more fingers. Before I even knew it, I felt the cold metal P.A. resting on my hole. 

"Ready for my poz load, Andy?"

"Oh fuck yes Sir, poz me please."

The first thrust was smooth and swift. My eyes popped and another wave of ecstasy ignited in me. Ludvig only mustered a satisfying "Oh!" before finding his bearing and perfecting his pace. Each stroke felt as if the right notes were played in working my orgasm. The pleasure was still, never any higher or lower. It was exceptionally better than the first fuck I had with Rostam. The rush of adrenaline I experienced had changed everything. 

For almost an hour I surrendered my ass to Ludvig. Every 10-15 minutes, I could tell he was close to coming, but he would restrain himself and gripped down onto me, killing the plateau. I didn't realize how much precum he had released into me until I felt the warmth of it, leaking like water. Feeling his precum made me more impatient for him to breed me. I needed the thick gooey poz load in my guts, asap. 

I was determined. I attempted to rock my ass upward for Ludvig and move my legs in a similar style I would when I swam. This impressed Ludvig who was now catching up with my pace. We were in sync in the heat. His body against mine was spectacular. Soon, my efforts weren't in vain as I felt Ludvig now repositioning himself to further go deeper in me. I easily took it and continued to rock my hips upward. I felt his arms now gripping my waist, trying to control me from pushing him further. With his other arm, he gripped my head and whispered.

"Wow, you're a fucking champ huh? Soon boy soon we're almost there"

I only replied with Yeah yeah yeah before dropping myself back on the mattress and putting my thrust to a stop. Ludvig continued.

"What do you want again boy?"

"Your poz load Sir"

"Are you sure boy, you want this gift?"

"Yes Sir"

And with that, Ludvig's heavy breathing turned into a deep moan which sent me in overdrive. Although I did not ejaculate, I felt the climax. I felt my insides being coated by each rope of load that Ludvig released into me. Viral loads that could seal my fate like him. Another moan came out from him and by now he was resting himself on me, holding me tightly like he had with the other boys. His warm load in me felt fucking amazing. If I could live in that moment forever, I would.

Feeling him on top, right behind me as I remained tied was my way of serving him, satisfying him. I hope I had that night. 

Soon, I could feel how full I was when Ludvig was exiting. My ass was a jug that could barely hold the volume of load that Ludvig had deposited. Ludvig climbed off from the bed, and searched in his bag for a plug. It popped with close to no resistance. I now lie on the bed, still spread. Ludvig dried himself with the towel and unhooked me, then pecking me to tell me how good I was. I just nodded and my eyes remained dilated. 

It was 11.15 and I still felt like I wasn't done yet. 

"You want more, do you?"

Ludvig asked me in a cheeky way, as if he still has more to offer.

"Yeah, but my boyfriend's coming home soon."

"Why not ask him to join us? I can call some friends and who knows, make this into a party"

"He's not the kind. But give me some time and I'm sure I can convince him"

"Hmhmmm. Whatever you say, boy. Don't let someone stop you from pursuing what you truly want"

I moved forward to kiss Ludvig and before you know it, we were making out. 

"Slowly, this time, shall we? More tender.."

Hearing him say that convinced me that I'm set to be poz for him. I tried to control myself from spinning and allowed myself to let him take over me.

We were now more mindful and no longer filled with haste. We caressed and I reached out to his pierced nipples, nibbling on them before turning my head up to reach for his kiss. I now lie on my back, legs spread for him. He cupped my ass, cradling it by placing a pillow below to pull the plug out. I had absorbed most of his load though the plug was moist, and automatically, Ludvig cleaned it with his tongue and came up to me for a kiss. Face to face now, I lifted my legs to rest on his shoulder. His heavy arms cushioned my calfs. We were both still heated, sweating less than before but never missing that moist sensation when our skin was in contact. This time, we both made no noise. Ludvig hoisted me at an angle he preferred, and for the second time, he fucked me with a different kind of passion. Being able to see him thrusting himself into me was beautiful. He looked me in the eyes with every push he gave. I steadily held onto him, repositioning myself at times. The first load was still leaking but we didn't care. 

As Ludvig was about to come for the second time, he told me how his VL isn't that high. He told me how he really wants me to meet the other guys and that I could have an official conversion. I could only look up to him and nod, knowing he understood I was willing.

In his final thrusts, I heard the sound of the main door being unlocked.

I didn't care if Devin walks in. Hell, I had zero shame if anyone else saw me right there. As Ludvig reached his climax, I caught Devin taking a peak through the door. We made eye contact. He looked as me as if he didn't recognize me. In an instant, he was gone.

I felt the jets of Ludvig's load in me again and I loudly exclaimed my gratitude, hoping Devin would hear.

"Thank you Sir for giving me your poz loads"

"Anytime boy, anytime."

I looked at myself now in the mirror, still in the used jock that Ludvig brought. Tonight, I've contributed a part of me into this jock and it too has served me its purpose. The bedsheets were drenched all kinds of fluids. Slowly, I could tell that I was coming down from the high. It was almost 2 and Ludvig had to go. There was a cumdump not too far taking loads all night.

"That could be you, if you're part of our family. Look at this"

He showed me the published ad, some boy in his late 20s, white probably, in a black jock and a baseball cap. The truckers would probably go to town with boys like that.

It was quite tempting to imagine myself like that. I could, but I knew it had to be on my own terms. 

After Ludvig left, I cleaned as much as I could and spent the rest of the night watching porn, with little success in getting hard. I didn't care at that point. The fact that I got what I wanted was all that matters.

 

 

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An observation I've made when it comes to consuming T is how night becomes inseparable to day, blurring the passage of time. I was about to finish watching the 4th bareback movie that was streaming. The sky was now turning blue. I had to frequently look at the clock to grab myself onto reality. Around 8, I heard noises from the kitchen. Before heading there, I looked at myself in the mirror and was pretty impressed at how I clean myself up. I couldn't do much bout the eyebags, but I did a good deep clean of myself after Ludvig left. Devin didn't have a clue how spun I was.

As I approached the counter, Devin turned to prepare some kind of health bowl he's routinely makes every morning. I asked how his night was.

"It was alright. Not as much fun as you had I suppose."

I smiled and asked him if he was cool with what happened last night.

"Yeah, it's nothing. Part of the deal. But I'm curious though. Why were you asking him for poz loads? That's fucking sick."

Unbothered and aided by what's left of the T I had from last night, I told him frankly bout how I enjoy fucking and getting fuck. Bareback. I explained how I had no plan on going on prep and that sexually, fucking poz dudes get me off. I elaborated further how he wouldn't understand since he never really opened his mind much in the bedroom, and that the sex we've had was plain vanilla. It was his ass that made up for the cracks we've had. I didn't want to argue with him so I told him that it really is best if we split. 

Silence with no response, Devin head to the room with his bowl.

I opened the app and saw Ludvig was online. I asked how the cumdump was.

"Nothing to brag. They're always the same. Advertise themselves as being piggy or raunchy but would never let someone piss in their guts"

"Sounds hot."

"You like that?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"You're one of a kind aren't you?"

I didn't reply. He probably had things to do and I was still horny. I changed into a clean pair of jocks and running shorts. With a fruit of the loom hoodie over my tanktop, I thought maybe I should go for a quick jog to try my chances in the woods. Nothing defines homosexuality than the classic activity called cruising. Unlike before, I decide to offer my ass instead of my cock. First time for everything.

The leaves were now thicker and the branches no longer empty but slowly forming into foliages that would make one invisible when entering the park. Most of the trees were high and the placement of the bushes sporadically made it easier to mind one's own business. A larger than usual crowd was present at my usual spot. Around 15 men, just spread out within a 500f radius, some trying to stay incognito behind a tree. Others, in between bushes. In the middle of this hidden part of the park, a tree had fallen, breaking in half. Mother nature blessed us with more privacy and by the looks of it, I could drop my pants while I held onto it. It was hidden conveniently. One had to be at a higher level, probably above the side hills to get a proper view of the fallen tree. 

Determined as I was, I crawled through the fallen branches and paced myself close to the tree, inspecting it and testing myself by gripping it with my ass backed out. With nothing else to lose, I pulled my shorts down before gripping the base of the tree. My legs were spread and pushed up. Anyone could bent me over to drop their load and I wouldn't know how they look like. I don't even care how they look like.

It was still early and there were barely any noise. I stood and gripped myself firmly and still. Not too long later I heard footsteps accompanied by the movement of the leaves that had fallen. A few twigs being stepped on and sounds of branches swinging to allow any passerby. I then felt a warm hand on the right side of my ass. Then, both. My ass was kneaded, and fingers protruded in me, causing me to arch my back further like how a a regular bottom would. Soon, my hole was greeted by a smooch that turned into a tongue. Now I felt something. I was still facing forward with no desire to see who was behind me. My hole was wet and ready from how good of a rimjob this faceless figure behind me had done. Feeling the tip of his cock, I braced myself and squat down onto it. I heard a low "Holy shit" from behind and stayed in my original position. 

The cock was long, though thin. Taking it was painless and I barely felt satisfied. The best way to describe what had happened was as if a hotdog was thrown down the hallway I call my guts. The fuck didn't last long. When he was about to come, I sensed that he was exiting out of me but I quickly grabbed himself into me. Feeling him come in me still left me an impression though. That last moan of relief gets me off so bad. 

I sensed that there had been other watchers when I heard more footsteps encircling the broken tree. 

When the first guy left, cum dripped from my hole like a faucet, giving god knows how many people there were a special rare view.

Shortly after, I heard footsteps creeping behind. Still faced forward, I paid no attention. I felt some fingers pushed into me, releasing more of the load the first guy had left. I also heard some slurps. What a fucking pig I thought. It was hot nonetheless. My expectations grew bigger for the next guy. I felt now felt hands cupping my ass to lift my calves higher before allowing myself to be felched. The slurping sound coming from my ass getting ate was the only noise coming from the area we were in. 

I enjoyed every moment of if. After I expelled all that I could, my back was arched again. This time, I felt like I was being impaled. The cock was thick and longer than the previous one. The fuck was longer too. Each thrust felt functional, like it was actually building up toward something. The second guys' hands was also coarse and big, firmly holding both sides of my waist. The moans I hear was also louder.

"What's a lil slut like you doing in the woods this early with his ass out?"

"Getting loads from guys like you without knowing how they look like."

"Oh you like that?"

"I'd rather not know than be disappointed"

"A bratty bitch aren't you?"

His thrusts were steady with little hiccups. He knew how to fuck and all I want was to get his load. I even started to moan, feeling the right spots he hit, deep and steady in me. 

"You know I'm positive, never medicated once. You like that? You want me to stop?"

"Nah, don't think of stopping. Give me that load."

"Shit, you sure?"

"Oh I'm sure alright. Come on now, no turning back."

"Aight"

A few more strokes in me and finally he came in me. I felt the warm load in me this time, much to my satisfaction. Although he started with a felch, he left his load in me without any further thought. Drops of cum was now sliding down across my right leg, touching my knee and finally my ankle, before meeting the edge of my sock. I could take 3 more guys.

The third anon that approached me took some time. The first spectators were probably bored and left, or were disgusted and left. I turned my head back for the first time and saw 5 guys. 2 were kinda old, older than Ludvig I'd wager and the rest were probably in their 30s or 40s. DL vibes all around. I glanced at each of them in the eye, raising my brows before repositioning myself forward.  

There was no assplay with the third guy. I felt his tip and his girth. It was thicker than usual and not as long as I'd hope though what he lacked in length he made up in dilating my hole. He had to properly position his cock toward my hole to ensure that it popped without fail. I thought the cum I've had would slide it off, discouraging him but he knew what he was doing. In only a single try, he entered me, successfully making my hole bigger in his thrust. I felt a different sort of sensation from taking him, the girth had inflated my insides like never before. You would assume it felt like a butt plug but it wasn't, there were movements that were identifying certain pleasure points that I didn't know.

I was now barely conscious, surrendering myself the ecstasy of getting my hole plowed. His pace was not too fast nor slow but careful for the fear that he would've popped out of me. What I originally saw in the mirror in my briefs, the ass I had that was tighter and guarded for certain people was now gone. I was still holding myself onto the tree, back arched for easy access. The third guy was still at it. I had little complaints. 

"Damn dude, you're so tight."

"Nah man you just have a mason jar for a dick"

"Still fits like a glove"

"Yeah, don't stop. I need your load in me."

"Oh you're getting my cum alright"

I felt a few more thrusts in me before mr. mason jar froze himself, gripping himself onto me as he shoots his load. The exhalation, the grip, the warmth of the cum up in me, these were what I now craved. Each time is different. I finally feel a sort of weight had lifted off from my shoulder once I've come to terms with this newly found epiphany that I enjoy getting bred. 

With his arms now unclenched from me and his trousers zipped up, I fixed my position for the next guy. 2 more, I told myself.

The sun was now getting brighter and only 2 spectators remained. From the looks of it, I doubt they would have the guts to approach me. I didn't mind though. I was still facing forward. I tilted my head to the side a bit to get a glimpse of the main path and saw a cop riding a bike doing his round. With where I'm at, I didn't think I could be seen so I stayed. 

It got quiet for a while and I was about to call it quits when I heard bike movements coming through the leaves, closer to where I was. It was too late for me to pull my pants up for the moment I turned, a cop had halted his bike right across from me. The spectators had probably run. 

"Well what do we have here.."

I was in my jocks, no shorts with my hoodie still intact. Technically, I wasn't naked. 

"Just some fun in the woods, you know.."

"Fun? Or public indecency?"

"Whatever you want, officer.."

I can tell that he was starring at my leg, noticing the dried cum trailing intricately. I looked at him in the eyes, slowly turning my waist to grab my ass. He was quite cute for a bike cop. Maybe a cadet. Was in shorts, with visor and a helmet. Blue eyes and some freckles. 

I turned myself to expose my hole, fingering it and letting more cum out of me. The cadet didn't say a word.

"I... I have to.."

"You have to try my ass, that's what you want to, officer"

I turned my back to him and returned to my original position. The next thing you know, his fingers were exploring me and he humped himself against me with a hard on that was desperate to leave those shorts. I helped him unbuttoned and he looked into my eyes, grab my head and went for a kiss. I was initially reluctant though I gave in for fear of getting arrested. He then pushed me to the ground, grabbing his crotch close to me. I gladly sucked it. I can tell a guy like him didn't get around much. He got hard quick and not even 4 minutes I was on his cock did he tell me to stop. I stood up and he turned my back around. With the cum still coming out of me, he lubed himself and pushed himself  in me. It actually felt good. It had a curve that was hard to find these days. Length was above average, girth as normal as it can be. It was the Goldilocks kind of dick I needed before I put all this to a rest. 

He lasted quite some time in me. With each thrust I could hear his badge dangling from his vest. He tried to control his moan but it was obvious that it proved to be challenging. I wanted to give him an unforgettable experience, so I started gyrating myself onto him, turning the pitch in his moan higher. All he could say was yeah yeah yeah.

I mounted myself onto him, grabbing his back into me as I guided him to thrust into me. Then, I arched myself doggy style to fully give him my hole which he finally found comfort in. He was in bliss. The boyish smile he had, in addition to the freckles on his cheek made me conclude that he couldn't be older than 22. 

"I'm about to come"

"Then come. Don't be shy"

And just like that, he came. His moans were now loud and authentic, repeatedly ending with shit shit shit. I will never get tired of the sound a man makes when he reaches climax. Even if I wasn't fully into it, that second I knew someone had come, especially if it was in me, I was whole. 

The cadet put on his attire, stared at me, and told me to not come around the area again.

"When can I then?"

He was now on his bike, changing the gears before answering.

"Anytime before 8 AM."

My walk home was peaceful and still. I knew what I had done, the loads I took, the crime I sort of did. I kinda felt accomplished if anything. Having random loads in me was satisfying. It gave me a sense of purpose. 

I got home right before 11 to an empty house. I took a shower and opened the apps. There was a message from Ludvig that I missed after I left him hanging.

"Are you free tonight, Andy? I was telling my friends about you. Do you want to hang with us?"

No hesitation I sent back

"I'm not doing much. Why not? I hope I don't disappoint them."

"Oh I doubt that. They're not just friends. They're family."

An address attachment was the last message Ludvig sent. I stared into the map apps for a while before planning what I was going to wear.

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*A bit of a real life meta update that I never do from my end, which is that I'd like to express how grateful I am to see the positive feedback I frequently get from crafting these meth-induced writings even if there's barely any proofreading.

Truly, I don't smoke as much as before (compared to how frequent I used to post here). Though when I do, I've no regrets to just type and type on and give you dirty fucks (myself, proudly included) a treat.

I also do apologize for never continuing any of my previous posts or series. They come only in the spur of the moment. After all, it's always the same themes and scenarios that get recycled and replayed in different yet devious ways. An exercise in futility or a test to push the limit of my creativity? 

Fingers crossed for another chapter 😉

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The address I received was not too far, more within the city though it didn't look so familiar. It was definitely near a bathhouse I went to once during my first year here. I asked Devin if he knew where it was and he only said that it was in a sketchy area. If I had to guess, it was probably the gay village. An area Devin was always adamant to go to since he didn't find it to be his 'crowd'. 

When he asked if I was going to see someone there he scoffed, asking if last night wasn't enough. I reminded him of the conversation we had before finishing it with

"We can end things you know"

"Maybe a break, or a pause at least?"

It felt like whatever we had has been either of those. It made little difference. Not wanting to go on I said "Break, that's it. Let's do that". An "Okay." was the last thing he said before leaving the room.

I crashed unknowingly on the sofa right after and woke up right before day light was about to end. I looked at my phone and it was almost 8. The only notification I got was from Ludvig, 30 minutes ago.

"Here are some ideas I have for tonight. If you're comfortable, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Come by anytime around 10."

There were 4 videos attached. Each lasting around 8-12 minutes with a title screen at the beginning.

1. Fluid

Starting from a birds eye view, the video starts with someone around early 20s I'd say who was locked in a sling. Eyes were blindfolded and limbs chained with a metal cock cage that came with a padlock. His legs were angled higher and pulled closer to his arms to fully showcase his hole. It was clear how strong he was tied for any attempts he made showed no difference in his position. The struggle he made at the start was perhaps from being awake. It could also perhaps be him having second thoughts. But then again, it was short lived. I'd imagine if I was him, it was only to get comfortable.

The next camera angle was now above like the first but titled at a 45 degree to face the hole and showed the rest of the room. It was probably mounted on the sling, right in between the legs. The room was dark and lit by about 2 or 3 hanging lightbulbs at its corner. The walls were exposed brick with some sides graffitied, indecipherable in its scribbles. Among the gibberish tags I saw, I only recognized a biohazard symbol in circle. Its proximity to one of the light bulbs gave a better view of the wall than the rest.

There was no other furniture, just broken crates and pallets scattered. Some blurry figures were sitting on them. The only opening in the room was an arch with its hinges remained. There were chips of wood hanging on its other side. Not much can be seen further pass it. The hallway following it was pitch black, darker than the room was and fizzy from the video. It was a black hole in the video.

Motionless and being able to breathe as his sole action, his body was partially covered in foam below his head and a group of men encircled him, all in different kinds of leather masks that revealed the eyes. Most were nude or topless. Some in chaps, some in jocks, some only in denim jeans and a stained white tank top. There wasn't a fixed attire. Most had a decent body shape. Either they were muscular skinny, defined to the bones, or built massive with a strong and thick belly. I'd place Ludvig's type in between. They were all hairier than most of the men I've been with. They were definitely mature. A strange desire in me reignited again.

The reflection from their glistened and sweaty body made up for the lack of brightness in the room. Two of them, who I now identify one as Ludvig came closer to the sling. Ludvig had a leather leotard on with his crotch fully exposed. I knew it was him from the scorpion at his back, claws now covered by the straps. His mask was a regular eye mask, mouth and nose still identifiable.

The man opposite of him was in a chained harness and knee high boots. Nothing else besides a closed latex mask with openings at eyes, nose and mouth. His cock was big, fatter than Ludvig's, given that the cockring he wore was more visible than Ludvig's from watching the video. The girth was comparable, and the length I've yet to tell. Both men were still flaccid. Each were holding a safety blade, lifting their respective arms as they came closer to the foamed up body. Each blade focused on one part of the body. Ludvig had the bottom and the other had the top. As the blades touched, a time lapse started, fast forwarding the shaving process. They were delicate in their work. Not one minor cut. 

The boy in the sling made little movements, though any move was due to adjusting himself to how bare his skin was getting. As the foam was wiped, I saw how originally this person had hair as much as the men in the room. As the video progressed, he now had less and less. Each time the men glided their blade, it became clearer how beautifully shaped this boy's body was. His pecs were firmly round and his abs were protruding. The lower V part of his abdomen was no longer hidden. Stripping the hair from his pits made his biceps more prominent. The shave was like an act of sculpting. Ludvig was precise in stripping any hair from the boy's pubic hair, accomplishing his shave with only a single movement at each part. Even at the hole, he was swift. 

It was also at this point where both men, with little work left, took the liberty in being rewarded. Ludvig started to relish the hole after wiping the remaining lather while his coworker with the high boots was holding the boy's mouth wide open to take his cock. Finally I can see him hard. Like Ludvig, it grew exponentially. The length was longer and the boy could only take half before coughing, saliva dripping in agony. Light slaps on the face from high boots caused the boy to recollect himself and breathe before attempting again. This time, only a quarter of his cock was left. High boots was pleased, but I can tell not satisfied yet. 

Ludvig, still rimming relentlessly, enjoyed how smooth the hole was. His favourite kind to rim. As the boy chocked on high boot's cocks, he was also enjoying his freshly shaved hole getting eaten. A pain and pleasure that not many could afford I thought. How I wish I was in that sling.

The boy's struggle in taking the massive cock continued with no end in sight for high boots. He pulled out and called onto Ludvig, who looked up. He signalled a look in which he tilted his head sideways to which Ludvig just nodded. They switched places and high boots cradled the boy's ass, now coated with spit higher to his stomach. He faced the crowd around for a moment before reaching out to obtain an oral syringe from one of them. 

An inaudible exchanged occurred between Ludvig and him. One of them used their hand to signal something small or big with high boots opening his palm completely. Ludvig just shook his head. Immediately after, the syringe was jammed into the hole and its content fully expelled. The men were now clapping and Ludvig walked to high boots to pat him on the shoulder. Both made their way back to the crowd.

Soon, the boy was now panting with haste. A smile formed, creasing both sides of his cheek as his mouth moved in flicker. The crowd was now closer to him than before, caressing his new body. Some came close to sniff and smooch parts of him where his muscles stood out. The boy could only smile on. Ludvig returned, pulling the blindfold off, face now shown. 

He was conventionally handsome. Very good looking but never the kind I'd imagine. His hair was brunette, pretty long but above the shoulder and most likely tied in a bun.  A golden retriever kind of guy who was a gymrat I'd wager. Close to my age I imagine. Seemed like the type to play by the rules. 

He had a sort of innocence in him that was now filled with lust. His dilated eyes were something I'd became familiar with. Initially, in regaining his sight, his facial expression was that of shock, not just in understanding his position and who he was with but at his body. He turned to look at every direction in an instant, before looking up above to the first camera, grinning, full teeth while being engulfed by the men around him. That look of lust that's always captured in these videos. 

The next shot was now shaky but clearer than before, a bit brighter. Chances are it was a handheld camera that one of the participant had. The sound was now better and the chatter more audible. Most were the usual dirty talk ranging from fuck yeahs and sexy, to slut and bitch boy. The camera moved closer to the boy, being referred to as a bitch, to look up. He looked directly with the same lust, saying yeah as someone was chewing his neck. The person behind the camera then asked:

"You like this bitch?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Letting all these men use you, fuck you?"

"Oh yeah."

"How does it feel like in your new skin? Looking more like a bitch boy now?"

"Feels fuckin good, man."

"Shit boy, we're not even halfway yet."

With a wink the boy said "Bring it on"

It was difficult to see the rest of the body as it was still being appreciated by crowd. As it reach to his legs, high boots was crouched, head into the hole, slowly rimming the boy. When the camera reached to him he dived deeper into the boy's hole, minimally jolting him upwards. He looked directly into the lens, taunting

"Who's next? Boy's fresh hole isn't going to be fresh for too long. Ludvig! You ready?"

A distant loud aye can be heard through the crowd who echoed the agreement with yeahs all around. A skinhead man who was in his late 30s came forward toward high boots and asked to be next. With no hesitation and full force, high boots pulled him down to the floor and pushed his head into the boy. The skinhead caught himself by holding onto the boy's leg, continuing high boots's work. Unlike high boots, the skinhead ravished the hole. He whispered fuck yeah and god at times. Another man then came forward to try but when skinhead refused, high boots had to pull him off and remind him of where he was. The handheld camera was still facing the hole and the rimmer. High boots pulled the camera up, look behind to see Ludvig and stared back to the lens, announcing that  "It's showtime."

Camera now panned to Ludvig, who approached with something in his hand. A kind of metal hollow anal ring which diameter was close to a mug. It was shiny and pre-lubed. He crouched, gave the hole another lick and inserted it in the boy who flinched at first. The muscle in his sphincter tried to resist it. Ludvig, careful not to put too much force, reposition its angle, turning it in successfully. As it popped in, the boy screamed fuck yeah in the pleasure. A few seconds ago, it was pain. With the plug in, the boy's hole was wide open. His hole was also blooming, exhibiting motions of the plug trying to expel and receive. Ludvig called high boots, whose name is Klaus.

"Would you do the honour? I feel as if you've been on it longer than we have. 3 days now, yes?"

"No sleep in the last 60 hours and no plans to for the next 24. I'll be glad to."

He then pointed to the camera, signalling whoever behind it to catch what he was bout to do. The boy, still enjoying the plug, continued to moan. Klaus slapped the ass, grabbing the boy's attention. He asked the boy if he knew what chem piss was. The boy shook his head. Klaus asked again if he remembered that said his kink was piss. The boy now nodded. In you? Boy nodded again, faster. Klaus's last question ; Wanna feel my piss in you? Boy replied fuck yeah.

With that, he relieved himself without splattering else where. Straight and direct into the boy's hole, it filled up til its edges. Any move the boy made could spill it. 

"Good boy, let it in now..."

Slowly, the piss level lowered, flowing deeper into the boy. The room became quiet, as the crowd was fixated on the boy's hole. When the boy's inside was visible again, Ludvig took Klaus spot. It wasn't as full as Klaus had piss but he still manage to relieve himself. Again, they waited for the boy to absorb it. Moments later, the boy's moans got louder than before, shouting how fucking good he felt. He had reached another state. One that I was determined to reach. Around 5 men had the chance to piss in him. When Ludvig saw that the boy was now feeling the chem piss, he and Klaus agreed that it was enough, and announced everyone to witness the boy's new altered state.

The sweat falling off him was more rapid and his pores were moist as ever. In his breaths, he begged for the crowd to fuck him, to do anything they want to him. His chest, moving upward and dow to keep up with each breathe was a sight the crowd was in awe of. The crowd watch him beg and surrender himself. Finally, Klaus placed a dildo gag to silence him, leaving only sounds of muffled moans. A stopper was put in the plug, containing what was left. 

The video ended with the boy, up close, gagged, drool forming by the mouth, lost in a lust that I hope to see myself in.

I didn't notice how hard I got when the clip ended. It had been a while. I could jerk off right now but I didn't wanna kill the excitement for the next one. I still had 2 hours before heading out. I swiped to the next clip.

 

 

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