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Recently I've been diagnosed hiv positive. Very recently, the past few weeks. And although in the months up until this diagnosis I have engaged in extremely risky sexual acts, and slept with many guys in my most recent trip to NYC, it was still a surprise. "I don't want this" repeated throughout my head over and over again the day the news was revealed. I went through all the usual emotions. It's still fresh in my mind but it's something I have to deal with for the rest of my life. It got me thinking that maybe I should write some of this down, and relive the actions that got me here. Maybe some will find it sexy, or informative, maybe some will be able to relate. Maybe I'll make a few online friends through this, I certainly hope so. So here goes... I spent three months in New York City, from March to June. Think of it as a very long vacation. It left me with a lot of time on my hands. Time to get into some trouble. Just through idle searching on recon previously, I had came across a few Tops who I thought would make for some interesting meetings. The only thing was I hadn't been fucked in a while, at this point I had only bare backed around 3 or 4 times. So I was very tight and very worried about not being able to accommodate a guy and making him angry. I am naturally very submissive around men I like, and the opposite around girls. I'm bisexual by the way. A fact that was questioned many times in New York, more so by gay men than women. Guys couldn't seem to get their heads around the concept. While I'm not the most manly of men, I'm certainly not feminine or camp nor does that personality type attract me sexually. Although I did find over there they were great company, just not my thing in the bed. So with this fear in mind, I thought it would be better too seek out oral tops first and work my way to anal. Not long after I settled into the city and got my bearings(living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn) I found myself arranging to meet a "rough throatfucking dom" sounds like my kind of guy! I absolutely love being throatfucked and he was the guy to do it. His face and dick pic matched my strict criteria(he had a face and a working penis) so soon enough I was on my way to meet him. He lived on Christopher St. in Manhattan, for anyone who doesn't know nyc. This is in the West Village a very gay area of the city, along with Chelsea, what was once the hangout spot for all the bohemian musicians of the 60's and 70's, a great area which I frequented constantly. He buzzed me into his apt building. As I climbed the stair my heart began to race. I was getting nervous, after all we didn't exactly get to know each other in our conversation online. It went like this: "Def interested in brutally throatfucking you, work your skinnyboy throat pussy like a real pussy. I'm free today after 5. Interested to see how much of a brutal face fucking you can take" What I got from that wasn't much, but I knew he turned me on, and he seemed serious about throatfucking. I made sure not to eat the entire day. Something that comes natural when knowingly meeting up with guys as nerves and excitement usually suppress my appetite. I got to his door and it opened before I could knock. "Hey" he said in his deep southern drawl. I had never found an accent sexy before, but this after all was my first american man, a country I have loved from a distance. Turns out he was from Arizona, his voice was fascinating, deep and rich, but really calm. My nerves turn to excitement immediately. "Come in." He was wearing a white wife beater, black Y-fronts and white socks. He looked very different from his profile picture, much better in fact, which made me question why he hadn't updated it in seemingly some time. I asked him if I should remove my clothes and he told me just the shoes. We then walked into the living area, which was carpeted with a leather couch. He knelled me down on the carpet in front of his bulge. He pressed my face against his cock. Then it went from 0 to 60... Once he whipped his cock out of his underwear I knew I was in for it. Holy shit, pictures did not do it justice. It was massive, about 8 inches long and curved to the right, but the girth was something else. It really thickened towards the base, with a full bush to bury my face in. No warm up with this guy, he wasn't interested in a gentle blowjob. No, he meant what he said, unlike so many guys on online hook-up sites, he was the real deal. I opened wide and he rammed it straight down my throat, the bend was very noticeable and uncomfortable in this particular position. It was pushing at my throat, like it was trying to break out. He only began to hump once the dick was fully swallowed which was a nice touch and something I think most throatfuckers should do. He had his technique. He was digging for the right spot, to him it was all about the feeling, when you watch throatfucking videos, you can tell what's for show, none of what he did was theatrical, it was all functional. He wanted his dick as deep in my throat as possible, and once he hit the right spot he would, as he said he would, fuck it like a pussy. It was painful and hot at the same time. At one point I tried to breathe as his cock was deep in my throat. This, in addition to his pubes up my nostrils, caused my to gag hard. Eyes started to water, and mouth began to produce some much needed lubricant, after this the whole experience became much more enjoyable. He didn't say much as he was reaming my tonsils only the occasional "Good, goooood!" and grunts of encouragement. He reminded me to cover my top teeth, which I did immediately, hoping I didn't scratch him. He began smashing my face with his pubic bone. He was really enjoying himself, I was trying to endure the pain, and enjoying it also. When he slowly pulled his cock out of my mouth, thick drool dribbled from his cock onto my t-shirt. Shit, I have to walk home like this! But then I looked at his dick. the shaft had a streak of blood on it. Oh no, did my stupid teeth cut him, will he freak out, am I going to get beat for this. He either didn't notice or didn't care, because he started jerking off furiously. He was having a good time, which made me very happy. He then pulled my shirt off, lay me on the couch with my head hanging over the back(the classic). And proceeded to pump my throat like the pussy he said it was. For some reason this position was much more comfortable, it seemed to work better with his curved. Before I knew it, he was about to cum, his thighs squeezed my face and drove his dick deep while cumming. No pulling out. I didn't even get to taste it. Straight down the hatch. He tapped me with a few smacks on the cheek as if to say "good job boy" then sat down on the couch, exhausted and happy. He jerked his semi for a while while I knelt at his feet and he asked me a few questions about Ireland, why I was here, small talk. He told me he really enjoyed it and would like to do it again. Yes! Validation, something I always aim for is a guy wanting to meet again, someone who has had so much fun with me that he'd repeat the session if given the chance. So far, everyone I've met has wanted to meet up again, not everyone actually has, but it's good enough for me that they want to. I asked to use his bathroom and as I was washing out my mouth I finally found out where the blood came from. I had bust my top lip while he was bashing his groin against it. Damn, my two front teeth. I thought as long as he had fun, I'm happy. I left the apartment optimistic about the rest of this trip. However I had absolutely no idea what lay ahead of me. Bathhouses, breedings, 3somes, orgies and being introduced to the strongest drug I've ever tried, crystal meth!! Okay, so this is my first blog, first time really talking about a sexual encounter. Please let me know if you liked it or not, or want to hear more about my stay in New York. It really was an experience with a lot of firsts, which feels good to be sharing with you guys. Thanks for reading. BH

So my first lunch time breeding had gone well. 18 loads up my ass and 4 down my throat (https://www.breedingzone.com/entries/1180-Lunch-hour-breeding). It seems I was a hit with the tops. My handler hit me up asking when I was going to be able to provide my services again. I was pretty busy with school and work but I was desperate for cock and more importantly loads. I asked him if we could do another lunch hour cuz it worked with my schedule. He said that would work best for him too. Shortly after our communication I got a mass text that was sent to about 30 guys including me. It had two pictures, one of my cummy ass hole from my last breeding and one of me being spit roasted between two black tops. Since I was blindfolded the first time around, this was the first time I actually saw me being used. I liked it, it was hot! Somehow not knowing who was breeding my hole made me horny, I instantly sprang a boner. The text read: “Young Latin cumpdump looking to take all loads during his lunch hour on Wed, 1 hour only starts 1pm. Text me back for details if interested” Now this was set up on Sunday, and I wanted to be sure I was desperately craving cock by Wednesday so I put myself on lock down, no hook ups, no masturbating; I wanted to make sure I was super horny and craving cock. Waiting till Wednesday was torture! By Tuesday night I had a hard time sleeping just thinking of the pounding I was going to take the next day, my ass was craving some cum and the next day could not come fast enough. That Wednesday I woke up, went to the gym, got nice and sweaty, came back home and changed into my jockstrap. My handler specifically requested I wear a jock and told me to make him proud, I had every intention to! I headed to work…I had a hard time concentrating, no pun intended. I sat at my work desk with a rock hard cock just staring at the clock on my computer painfully going by. When lunch time rolled around I practically ran out my work, I texted my handler and told him I was on my way. He said it was cool and to not be late, some tops had already let him know they were on their way and he needed my ass there to service their cocks. I smoked a joint on my way there, makes me hornier, and since I hadn’t jerked off since Sunday I was craving cum like no tomorrow. I was 10 min away when my handler texted me, told me that one top was there…he said: “one guy is here, the other is parking, when you get here come straight to my apt, the code is #356, I will buzz you in, come up the walk way to the left, apartment 5. Step in and fully undresses.” I hurried over and found a parking spot on the street, I practically ran over I was so excited, my hand was shaking when I punched in the gate code, it buzzed and I pushed it in, as I stepped in I saw a guy walking towards the building about half a block down and wondered if he too was on his way to give me his load. I walked up the walk way and turned left, my handler didn’t even wait for me to knock, the door swung open, he told me that 4 tops were already in the bedroom, he told me to strip down to my jock. I quickly took off my clothes and made sure to grab my poppers from my slacks. I could smell the marker as my handler wrote “CUMDUMP” in big letters on my back and then an arrow to my hole. It’s true, it’s what I was, what I craved, and what I was excited for. My handler then put on a blindfold on me and led me by the hand across the living room and into the bedroom. As soon as I walked in to the bedroom I could hear voices, I wasn’t sure how many tops were there but my handler had said 4 with more on their way. I was pushed into the room and all of a sudden I felt surrounded. I felt hands all over me, one was twisting my nipples, others were groping my ass, I felt fingers being inserted. I could hear them talk amongst themselves as if I was not there, it was so hot to be talked about like you are not a person…”mmmm…It has a nice ass, tight too”…”I can’t wait to drop my load in it”….”it has some nice cock sucking lips too” Someone smacked my ass hard, my cock got even harder if that’s possible, a voice told me to get on the bed. I was lead over to the side of the bed and I was roughly pushed down on it, ass up face down, I was told to get on all 4s. I quickly did what I was told. A cock quickly found its way to my mouth and started throat fucking me. There was no slow or ramping up, these tops knew they were there to breed a hole and were not taking it slow. I could smell the musk from the guy fucking my face, his pubes brushing on my nose. I gagged a bit, but for the most part I was able to hold my own as he rammed his cock down my throat. At the same time, I felt another cock at the base of my hole. I pulled off the cock I was sucking, I took 4 big hits of poppers and just let the high wash over me, the guy started to push his cock into me, I took two more hits from my poppers and went back to sucking cock. The guy going into my ass just pushed it in, didn’t take it slow (later my handler told me he was a bit scared for me because this guy was the biggest there and had a thing for making his bottoms feel some pain) I was so horny from not jerking off for days though, and flying high from the poppers that my ass opened up and he slid in with no issues. I even started backing my ass up on it, trying to get him to bottom out in my ass. I was in heaven, one cock was stretching my ass hole, slamming into me, which in turn would push be forward onto a cock that was going in and out of my throat. For the next 45 mins there was always a cock in my ass and one down my throat. I could hear the door bell ring from time to time and then footsteps. I could hear people getting dressed or undressed and people talking about me as if I was not there. “thanks man, that was some sweet ass”…”how many loads so far?”…”let me know about next time.” I had lost track of how many loads I had taken, at this point I knew I had a good 10 in me at least. Every time a guy pulled out my handler would ask him if he shot his load and then would make a hash mark on my back. It was getting close to the end and my ass was full of cum…I could feel it leaking down my ass and legs, when the top pulled out I farted and a big gob of cum came out, he simply scooped it up and put it in my mouth, I licked that hand cleaned and thanked him. That got me going, pretty soon, I was being fed loads from my ass, I was told to squeeze out, then I felt a pair of hands cupped at my mouth, I could smell the puddle of cum and I licked it up. I was in pig heaven; I thanked him and begged for more. I felt someone eating my ass, it was so tender from the pounding I was enjoying it, I was told to push out, and I could feel loads squeezing out, I then felt one hand on my chin, it lifted my face and I was told to open, then the top just spat all the loads he had feltched out into my mouth. I almost came! I took about 2 more loads after that and finally it died down, the last top was escorted out by my handler, I was told to stay put. He left the guy out and came back to where I was face down ass up on the bed. He got down and started to eat my ass, then he got up and lined up his cock to my hole and just slammed it in. my hole made a squishy sound and he started fucking me telling me how I did a good job, I had made him proud, that my ass felt nice and wet. It didn’t take him long to shoot his load into the mix. He pumped in his load one last time with one good thrust and pulled out. I was then allowed to take the blindfold off. I looked in the mirror, I had a lot of marks on my back, I couldn’t count them in the mirror…my handler counted them for me and I had 21 hash marks, one for each load. I felt like such a slut and loved it, I got dressed and left. I drove back to work, I had a major hard on going, I had never even nutted, but it was cool. I was there to take loads up my ass. If I nutted didn’t matter, and I preferred it this way.