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I had been talking to a guy online for about two months before this point. Let's call him Tom. Tom had a profile on BBRT NKP and here on breeding zone. I had been wanting to experiment with chemsex for about 6 months before I left for the states, I had been watching some videos to see what the deal was. I believe it was this site that introduced me to the concept, before hand I had no idea about meth use in the gay community(or a subsection of the gay community) but I had it in my head that if I was to try it, it should be in America(where I could get away with it). Plus it seemed to be more available over in the states. What I was looking for was tough, a top who was willing to introduce someone to Tina for the first time who also was hiv negative. This may not seem like much. But first of all nobody seemed to even respond to me on NKP(maybe they were too high) I was beginning to this it was an online ghost town, or that perhaps my account was broken. After searching for some time, I found two profiles that matched the requirements, a neg Top, who can administer. I messaged both guys. One replied "Any pics?" I sent him some pics of me, including a face pic. "Hmmm any more pics?" He wasn't sure. A little disappointing. The next guy I message replies "I would love to meet". However plans changed and we didn't get to meet for quite some time(scheduling conflicts). This was a good thing in some respect. We managed to talk a little more and I felt comfortable this was an honest and open guy, he was in his 40's and seemed mature, extremely attractive, and sexually right up my street. He asked for porn vids that I found hot so he had an idea of what I was into. He liked these very much. We eventually arranged to meet a little over one week before I was set to leave. He was situated up the top of Manhattan and told me to meet him around 9pm. I took the train up, then hopped a cab to his place. A nice apartment complex. I don't remember feeling nervous. Strange really, I felt more nervous walking into a gay bar, or sucking off my first New Yorker, but this, what would be the most extreme thing I was about to partake in, and I felt eerily calm. I also remember thinking very calmly "I could die here" just before I pressed the buzzer. He unlocks the door from his room upstairs, I'm not told what room number or floor he is on, but the second I step in I get a text. "Be right down, have to get something from the basement" I wait in the foyer. Probably a good time to mention my previous experience with drugs. Tried ecstasy a handful of times, first two times were great, the rest sucked. Cocaine 3 times previously, got absolutely nothing from it(became quiet and fidgety) and weed on a handful of occasions. In no way was I a drug user, never partied and played, with the exception of weed with two guys in NYC. So why I was actually doing this I have no idea. But I'm hoping it's good. Tom comes down to meet me, and we both head to the laundry room where he empties the machine. He seems rushed, I spend my time examining him as he does his laundry. His head is shaved(bald), he has a grey goatee, very handsome masculine look, dressed in a tank top and sweatpants, he's in good shape. He really is a perfect match. Perfect Daddy. I wonder if he's high already, but I think he isn't How will he be with me, what will I do when I'm high? "Positive thoughts" I keep telling myself in my head. Positive thoughts. We enter his apartment, it's nice, big, he leads me to the bedroom. A large bed is covered with rubber sheets, to the left of the bed on the floor is a large duffel bag, filled with all kinds of sex toys. To the right is a computer and desk, on the desk lay some syringes. Now my heart starts to race a little. "Do you want to have a look through the toys?" "Sure". He shows me his collection, rubber cock and ball rings, rubber anal inserts, large buttplugs(one shaped like a sperm), sounds kit(makes me wince), rope, cuffs, things that I couldn't even identify. "That's an impressive collection" I say, wide-eyed. "Yeah. So I'm thinking we get you in a harness" He instructs me to take my clothes off. Then he puts the harness on me and tightens it. I feel infinitely sexier. I've never worn a harness before or since, but it felt great. He began to explain the benefits of said harness. "So when I'm fucking you I can just grab it like this, and pull you towards me" he says as he demonstrate by grabbing the shoulder straps and pulling me towards him, this makes me horny. "Hmm, a rubber jockstrap." He then takes a jockstrap from his bag, again, I've never worn one before this. It fits well and covers up that dick of mine. I'm slowly being transformed into his toy, there is only one thing left. He talks me through the whole experience, what it will feel like, how he preps the meth by pouring hot water until the crystals have fully dissolved, etc etc. He then shows me about 4 or 5 videos of slamming, and explains what the person might be feeling. "Ok so are you ready?" "Have you ever done this with someone for the first time?" "No, never introduced anyone" I sit on the cold rubber bed, he props two pillows behind my back. "Hmm, hang on." He goes to the bag, and takes out two of those, I actually don't know what they are called. Like small leather hoods that go over your hands. and leather cuffs. He loosely ties me to the bed. ​"It'll be interesting to have you tied up for your first slam" My heart starts to pound faster, the nerves are coming in hard and fast. Should I look at the needle going in? Maybe not. Everything will be fine. He holds the needle up to the bedside lamp. "They're full dissolved, see? Let's see how hard it is to find a vein." He runs his finger over the inside of my elbow, a vein comes up immediately. He then puts on the tourniquet and waits a few seconds. Wipes my arm with a pad and sticks the needle into my vein. He pulls back I look, see red inside the needle, then look away. "Ok. Now tell me if you feel any burning or stinging in your arm." I look again, he slowly pushes the plunger until the meth is inside me. He then snaps off the tourniquet and looks at me. I feel nothing. He gives me a look as if to ask how I feel. "Nothing?" I say, smiling nervously. He looks in disbelief. "Nothing?" "Nope" "Are you sure?" "Yeah I don't feel anything" "Hmm, that's crazy. Maybe I didn't give you enough" He turns around to look at the syringes on his desk. I let out a nervous laugh. "Maybe if I moved around a little" I say as I bend my arm up and down(as much as it will go with the restraint) Then I feel a sudden tingle in my legs, reminiscent of the first time I tried E(which I was the last to come up on then too), then BAM! This indescribable rush goes through me, my breathing becomes heavy and I blow out a long shaky "woah" I look at Tom, he seems excited. "OK....nowitsworking" I say in a short burst. I start to feel myself and wish these restraints vanished. I start to feel as if I could make them disappear if I really wanted to. Tom sees me squirming in ecstasy on the bed. "Now I know it's working." He then turns around and straps up his arm and gets ready to slam himself. I writhe around feeling everything with my body, everything tingles in such an amazing way. This is too good for words. I'm loving this, nothing has happened yet and I'm loving it already, I think of a thousand scenarios of what will happen throughout the night in the space of a second or two. My mind is well and truly fucked! It's very hard to focus on anything, everything has a shudder effect. I hear Tom exhaling heavily I look over and he's whipping of the strap from around his arm. "Fuck" "Fuck" I say almost at the same time. He seems very controlled, I don't know how he does it. "Do you have sensitive nipples?" "Not really" I answer. "You will". He then straps two sucking cups to my nipples and pumps them until they stick. "Thank you so much for this" I gush, I feel forever in his debt. I become overtly grateful and complimentary, he smiles knowing it's the drugs doing their work. He also becomes very talkative, he asks me about the first time I had sex. He raps my legs around his waist and I start to grind against him as I describe my first time. "Tonight will be a night of firsts" He tells me in that calm and hushed voice. For some reason we both feel the need to half whisper to each other. "Ok let's get these off" He removes my restraints as I thank him again for being so generous to have me over and get me high. He thanks me for coming. "God if we met earlier? I'd send you home stupid". After some talking, he takes my head and buries it into his armpit. I lap away at it as he moans. He takes the suction cups from my nipples and twists them as I start to suck on his. I still don't feel sensation in my nipples, however the rush from the meth was too much to notice if I did. This was perhaps the most sexually confident I had ever felt, I had to constantly remind myself, this is actually happening. I move down to work his cock. He tells me to suck it hard, so I do,gripping with my like and sucking down on his soft veiny dick to the balls, he grabs both balls and pushes them against my mouth "open" I try to accommodate for both cock and balls but it proves too hard, even though his cock is only semi erect, his balls are far too big. I settle for one ball and a dick in the back of my throat, my mouth is stuffed. He likes the feeling as I gag and retch. Eyes water, stomach knots, body squirms. Next I take both his balls in my mouth which is another mouth-filling task, his dick lays on my face with his wet helmet resting on my right eye. I feel like a good little slut. He tells me to smell his dick, which smells of precum. After sucking his dick some more it becomes hard enough to fuck with. He puts a rubber cock ring and ball separator on himself and tells me lie back. I put my legs in the air and present my hole for fucking. "No." he says. "Put your feet here" he motions to his chest. I place both feet on his chest and he slides his cock into my ass. At first my hole rejects him, pushing him out when he gets into a rhythm. It's the Tina, it has made my ass tighten up. However, I have an idea. I get up and take out a bottle of poppers out of my bag and lay back on the bed. "Maybe if you choke me" I suggest. He places his open palm against my neck, just under my Adam's apple, then moves up and down to find the strongest pulse. I take a huff of my poppers and raise one hand in the air(this is a safety technique I use at first with some guys, when the hand drops, I'm out and they should let go. Any longer and it could become quite dangerous). He presses down, not too hard, but enough to make my feet tingle. Everything goes tunnel vision. I'm back in Ireland doing something menial or talking to a friend or something. All of a sudden a man's face appears from nowhere, then a room behind him, where am I? Confusion. I feel a heavy tingling and something moving in and out of my hole. It has a similar feeling to pins-and-needles. Then I remember where I really am, in an apartment in New York, high on meth, being fucked unconscious by a complete stranger who could have killed me with little effort. The rush of realization is incredible. My breathing becomes heavy "Wow! Oh my God" He leads in to make out with me, his dick is now in my ass without me pushing it out. "Did you have a little dream, baby?" "Yeah, how long was I out" "Only about 5 seconds, don't worry." He fucks me harder and although his cock isn't rock hard it feels incredible. I could feel the rubber of the cock ring against my hole. I wanted everything he had inside me. "I think I can get my balls in you" he lets out in a grunt as he thrusts back and forth. "Yeah?" I ask with some scepticism, the drugs have taken away any pain the fucking may have caused, but it in no way made my ass wider, in fact it had a tightening effect on my hole. This problem was solved with a little force, or a nice choke-out. "Yeah, I think so. Hang on." He rolls me back so my ass is in the air, he then stands over me and squats down. I feel him pushing against my hole and decide to push out, hoping it will let him in. This works and he pushes his balls inside me. He pulls them out "Oh fuck" he lets out in pleasure. He pushes just his balls into my hole a few more times, dipping them in and out until it becomes easy. He then pushes his sloppy cock into my widened hole, followed by both balls. Everything is inside me. It has to be the best feeling I've ever had during sex, it's incredibly hard to describe that pleasure, knowing you're connected to another man by both his cock and balls, they fit tightly into your hole. You are being completely used as a place for him to rest his dick and balls. The feeling of his pelvis pushing against your ass, knowing there is nothing further that can go in, he is as deep in you as he can possibly go. Amazing! I feel with my hands to ensure everything is in. I rub his taint while he grinds against me. He stops moving, but I continue to grind in a circular motion, churning my insides with his balls and dick. "Hold still" he tells me, he looks focussed and stares into the distance. "You feel that?" "Nope" "I'm pissing inside you" "Oh fuck!" I concentrate on the feeling, a tingling in my lower back, I'm being used as this guy's urinal. "Ugh, it's hard to piss in this position". He only pees a little in me before slowly pulling his balls and cock out of my piss-filled whole, he keeps me propped up with one hand. "Don't move boy. Fuck yeah" he spits in my gaping hole. Then reaches into his bag of toys for a large butt-plug. He spits on it, and pushes it against my ass lips, it's not going in as easy as it should. He calmly instructs me to breath in and out, eventually the rubber plug slides right in, filling my ass completely. After about 30 minutes of playing, I go to the toilet to take out the plug and push out the piss. I feel very wobbly on my feet but very happy also. I notice that when the plug comes out there is no more piss up my ass. I feel around to check. Either my ass has absorbed the little piss there was, or it's gone a lot deeper than I can reach. The next few hours become a blur. I get slammed again which is so much stronger than the first, I cough and it hits me like a euphoria freight train. This turns Tom on greatly. We make out more, fuck, suck toys and attempted fisting. He could slide four fingers but not past the knuckle. I found it extremely hard to concentrate on what was going on, everything spun and shuttered, I felt fantastic, almost a state of frenzy. When Tom is on top of me he sweats so much it dribbles down onto my face and chest, almost like a tap. Our sweat has a distinct smell, a chemical smell because of the meth. He takes me to the shower to cool off. I check the time and hours have gone by. It's about 10.00am the next day. "My boyfriend will be home soon" What? Oh no, "is this going to get awkward?" I think. I say nothing. "It's ok though, we could always go to the bathhouse" First time for everything. I let him know I'm up for this adventure and he tells me to get dressed and meet him at the nearby subway, while he cleans up and gets dressed. I walk to the nearest subway, it's a hot day out and people are up walking to work. I'm very aware of my movements, not to act like a tweaker. He eventually meets me and we head towards the bathhouse. It's not long until we are there. I'm becoming paranoid that people will know I'm high. Tom seems fine. We get our locker key and head to our room. After stripping, I head to the locker with our clothes. To large black men check me out in my jockstrap(given to me by Tom) the place seems pretty empty, which doesn't surprise me given the time. I put away my stuff and head back to our booth/room. I'm tingling all over and moving faster than usual. I get in and Tom lunges at me, jamming his tongue down my throat and shoving his fingers up my hole. I turn to liquid in his arms, the feeling is very hot. He has a small bag of toys with him. He takes out a large metal buttplug. It's very wide, "Guess where this is going" he says as he slaps it against the palm of his hand. "No way" "Get on all fours" I climb onto the bed on all fours. He squirts some lube onto the top of the plug, then pushes against my ass. I feel there is know way this will fit. I try to push out to open my ass up. "Breath, relax." He instructs. It's hard to do so, even though there is no pain at this point(from the drugs) I'm still nervous of damaging my ass. I breath in and out. Then take a big hit of poppers and repeat. I feel it enter my hole, it begins to hurt. "Damn, is this nearly in" I think to myself, then my ass retracts. "It's in" he tells me, before leaning in to gently kiss my ass cheek and tell me "good boy". He slaps the base of the plug and every time he does is sends an extremely pleasurable shiver up through my insides. He lays me back on the bed and spreads his ass cheeks. "Stick out your tongue" I do, then he sits down hard on my mouth. I work my tongue slowly up and down he asshole, trying hard to push my tongue deep. He lets out a series of moans and groans to indicate he loves the sensation. He then grabs the back of my head and really pushes me into his hole. He wants me to go deeper and I can feel his hole pushing out against as my tongue slides deeper. My tongue is stretched out to the point of pain, but knowing the pleasure it gives him causes me to endure it. This goes on for a few minutes(with a few air breaks) before he lifts his hot ass from my face. He hands me down a rubber butt plug. "I want you to put this up my ass" "Can you pass me the lube?" "No just use spit" He opens my mouth and slides the plug all the way down to the end, I gag, he pushes further, fucking my throat with the plug. This gets him off. He sits on the end of the plug and forces it down my throat with his ass. I'm now being smothered and choked. I cough up some spit. and he takes the plug out and turns it around, facing his hole. I take it off of him and push. It takes some force and I worry about hurting him, but he seems to be fine. It eventually goes up his hole. I smack the end of it as he done with my and he groans in ecstasy. We make out for a while with plugs up our asses, I then go to give him a blowjob. After some time sucking his semi-flaccid cock I feel it's time to take the plug out. I leave our room to walk to the toilets. I get a few propositions on the way, but ignore them in a chemmed out haze. I enter one of the cubicles and try to push out the plug. This is more difficult and painful than getting it in. I finally manage to pull the metal plug from my insides and the thing is hot. Really hot. Hard to hold. I have to run it under a cold tap before I can carry it back to the room. By the time I get back he has jerked his cock hard. And places me on all fours before fucking me for quite some time. "Shit I've got to go to work soon" I wonder how he can even think of working, as my mind is so confused and fried from the meth, I could barely see straight. I guess this guy is well used to this kind of activity. This worries me slightly. Maybe all isnt as it seems with him. He edges himself with my ass a number of times but is too uptight to cum. "Wanna meet me later on, say 7pm?" "Ok". We both head to the showers. As we wash up he tells me "I think I have to piss" "Can I drink it" "Sure, get down there." I get down on my knees and open up. He shoots hard, like a fire-hose down my throat. It tastes extremely strong but I swallow every drop. As we walk back to our room to get dressed it hits me hard. It had totally slipped my mind that his piss was filled with strong chems, and it sent me flying high. "You feel it?" He asks me in a hushed tone. It really tickles him that I'm high as a kite in public. We get dressed and leave the bathhouse. I get home(somehow) and try to get some sleep. This is impossible. I am shaking like a leaf and sweating buckets. I go to the bathroom to have a cold shower. I look in the mirror. My face frightens me, it looks so different to what I usually see. There is a deadness in my eyes. I try not to focus on it, and shower and change. By the time this is done it's almost time to head out the door again. I get to Tom's apartment again, his eyes are red. He looks like he's just shot up. "Hey baby, come in" I come in and undress. "Ready for another slam?"

I had been told on a handful of occasions throughout my stay in New York City about a bar known as The Eagle in the Chelsea are of Manhattan. "You've got to go to The Eagle" "You'll get what you want in The Eagle" "You've never been to The Eagle?" and so on. I was told it was a leather bar. Which at first put me off going, I'm not exactly a gay scene member. I'm a pretty regular bisexual guy who's interested in the world of kink without being a regular participant. Besides the only leather I had with me were a pair of regular boots. The idea I had in mind was leather ass-less chaps with a hardness and gay policeman's hat. I wasn't about to dress up as a member of the village people just to get into a club. After I was enlightened to what the place was actually like, I thought it was worth going. "Maybe on a quiet night" I thought, that way I wouldn't be bombarded with too much to process and I'd be more comfortable sat at the bar. I decided to go on a Monday. If I had checked their website in advanced I would have found out that Monday was actually foot fetish night. Now I'm pretty neutral when it comes to this fetish but if I had of know I probably would've went on another night. I head to the bar which opened at 9pm and made my way upstairs. On the quiet nights only the upstairs section of the three storey bar was open. I was greeted by a shirtless barman who looked like Chuck Lidell(ufc fighter) and ordered a drink. He was friendly and welcoming and very open from the get go, he explained to me why there was foot fetish videos on the TV screen, and two guys tickling each other in the corner. I felt a little embarrassed, he asked me about my type as he saw that none of the 9 patrons were talking to me. I told him I was into older guys. "You'd like my friend Kurt, he might be here later" "Cool" I thought. I observed as the barman played cupid with people sitting at the bar, those he knew previously and those he just met. He seemed to enjoy this, but was in no way forced like the barman at Stonewall. He was a really cool barman, didn't pretend to like anyone he didn't like but wasn't rude either. If he wasn't a bottom I'd be very keen to let him fuck me. I wasn't his type anyway, he was more into Latin guys. Speaking of which. A midget parks himself next to me on a stool at the bar. Is midget correct term? Dwarf maybe? Anyway he was about 4 feet tall, Latino, very confident. He immediately struck up a conversation with me. I was the only Irish guy he had ever met. We made some small talk and for whatever reason he wanted to show me some leather harness he bought. He had a picture on his phone. As he flicked through the pics of this unimpressive harness, in a very obviously deliberate move he "accidentally" brought up a picture of his dick(which to be honest was impressive given his size) "Oops, I didn't mean to show you that.....what do ya think?" "Very impressive" I answered smiling. I for just a second contemplated having sex with this guy, just so I could say I was fucked by a midget(dwarf ) however he was being a little overbearing and I soon became uninterested. He got up to use to toilet and never came back. In his place, sat an older black guy who worked just down the street and was just popping in for an after-work drink. He was friendly and interesting and we seemed to be getting on. "Can I swap shoe with you?" "What?!" This was an odd request. Then I remembered where I was. "Just for a few minutes" I hesitantly obliged, it seemed to give him a lot of pleasure. A German man in full leather(pants, boots, and harness) sat beside me, he had a strong BO. Not a bad smell, but a strong smell of sweat, quite nice actually. He joined in on our conversation and filled me with compliments. He leaned in for a kiss, as we were kissing a felt a hand slide down the back of my jeans and grab my ass. I thought it was the German but it was the black guy, I guess he wanted a feel. He then pulls me in for a kiss. The German shoves both his hands up my shirt and feels his way around. "You taste great" says the black guy. His hand sliding further down to the point where I'm sitting on it. His finger pushes into my hole. We all go in for a triple kiss, I'm getting horny. "Come with me" says the German. and takes me by the hand to the toilets. For whatever reason the black dude didn't follow us. Inside the toilets were two older leather guys, one taking a piss into the other guy's glass. He then taps his dick on the rim of the glass making sure every last drop had gone in. Without hesitation, the leather sub knocks back the entire glass of piss. "You find that horny" enquired the German. "Yeah it's hot" I replied. He pulled me into a cubical and shut the door. "Get down" I squat in front of his leather pants in the piss soaked cubical. He pulls out a bottle of poppers and takes a huff. He then feeds me some. The club music begins to pound heavier as does my heartbeat. He pulls out a semi erect penis with a large Prince Albert through the head I place it in my mouth and taste the metal. He pushes his semi soft cock down the back of my throat with gentle thrusts. The feeling of the metal sliding down my throat is new to me and very pleasurable. I take it down and swallow, massaging the head with each gulp. His crotch smells as good and strong as the rest of him, and the high from the poppers heighten this. I feel his cock harden with my lips. He puts the bottle under my nose again "Breath deep" I get nice and light headed, he begins to fuck my throat as he sniffs back the poppers. I see people in the corner of my eye looking in. It gets me going. I start to gag on his cock as he fucks harder and harder, I sense he is close to blowing his load down my throat. I pull back but he pushes my head against the cubical wall so I have nowhere to go. He fills my mouth with his cum, it tastes great. "Open" I open to show him his load. He spits in my mouth and slaps me on the cheek, I swallow it all down. As we leave the cubical and old man grabs me by the arm "I was watching you in there. You're a dirty little boy" This was all done in a very creepy way, that made me feel kind of intimidated, he was really grabbing my arm tight. "Let go of him" said the German guy. and he brought me back to my seat. As I got back to my seat I was scolded by the barman. "You should've let me know you were going to the bathroom, here I held your drink. Next time tell me. Anybody could've put something in there" Oops. I was very impressed that he cared enough to hold my drink and give me a lecture. Luckily(or unluckily depending on your fantasy) I wasn't spiked. "Anyway, Kurt is here, he's at the end of the bar" I excuse myself and head down to see Kurt. He's about 6 feet tall. Wearing jeans large black boots and a sleeveless shirt. He had a bald head and a goatee. Fitting my type(or one of my types) perfectly. Right away we got on great, I felt immediately comfortable around him, and his Texas charm was working wonders. We had a few drinks and he invited me back to his place. The barman looked over and said "See I told ya" he had certainly done his job as cupid well. Just as the place was filling up we decided to leave. Kurt took me to his place in Hell's Kitchen and up to the apartments rooftop. We took in the view and he offered me some weed, I accepted and he gave me a blow back from his joint. This let to a few minutes of passionate kissing. He was probably the best kisser I've ever been with(boy or girl) he knew his way around a mouth, his lips were soft and beard felt great. After a few minutes of swapping spit we moved downstairs to his bedroom. We both undress. "You've got a great ass" he remarks, I thank him. "I'd love to rape that!" "You can" I reply. I feel his body, he is in great shape. His dick is very long. I comment on the size of his penis and he tells me not to worry. "I'll go slow at first" I suck his dick for some time he loves it. Then he parks me on all fours in front of him. He taps my hole with his large dick. "Breath" I take deep breaths as he pushes his dick into me. I feel a shock and push forward, bashing my head off of the headboard. We both laugh before he gives my head a gentle kiss. He is such a cool guy it really makes me want to please him. "Lay on your back" He grabs my ankles and stretches my legs apart, he plunges his dick down in one go, it takes the breath from me but I have nowhere to go. So I take the shock, he begins to fuck. "Yeah exactly like that, fuck your boy hole" He is getting me extremely horny "Fuck me, that's so big" I tell him. "Yeah? You like me raping your ass boy?" I feels so good I can barely answer. "I can tie you up and just rape your hole all day long. If you scream I'll shove my sock in your mouth....Or maybe something else" With that he pulls out and straddles my chest. Pulls my head up by my hair and jams his cock down my throat. I gag a lot and start to drool over his cock. He then buries it back into my hole and fucks. He leans in so my legs are over my head, wraps his arms around me and tongues my mouth and he pounds my hole. This angle is extremely sexy and I can feel his dick pushing through my second ring, it feels amazing. He then turns me around and pounds me from behind, still penetrating my second ring balls deep in my ass. "Im about to cum boy" His speed picks up and I start to loose my breath. "You want my load?" "Yes Sir!" I bellow out. He shoots in me deep, balls deep right into my guts. It makes me hot how deep his dick is in me. "Your turn to cum" "That's ok" I reply, sensing that he might be tired from his machine like fucking. "No way. I'm not the only one having fun tonight" If I could marry that man I would. Where are these kind of tops in Ireland? "Come here" He places me on top on him straddling, with his large dick still in my ass. I grind it deep as I jerk on my dick. It doesn't take much wanking until I blow a huge load on his hairy chest, I collapse, sweaty and exhausted. He pulls my face towards him and makes me lick the sweat and cum from his chest. "Now that's hot" he says calmly. I fall asleep in his arms. He woke me in the morning, fucked another load into me and sent me on my way. We got to know each other before I left and met a few more times, he was one of the nicer guys I met in the states and is the kind of guy I'd do anything sexually with. Those kind of guys are hard to come by, especially at home. Makes me glad I listen to the advice and finally went to the Eagle. My first time there was a resounding success and pretty soon I became a semi regular. Hope anyone who reads this enjoys it. Sorry this entry didn't come sooner. Still trying to come to terms with my recent diagnosis and events surrounding it. So some days it's hard to write about my experiences as I just don't have the energy, I may be a little depressed. Pretty soon I will report on the meeting I believe got me infected, which will be hard given that it has come to light that the guy knew he was positive and told me otherwise. But I think it's the most important part of my stay there, so it's coming up soon. Thanks for reading

After my first sexual experience in New York City with my throat fucking top, I felt a little bet up. I had been throat fucked before but never that hard and thorough, the man was a professional neck plunger. It hurt a little to swallow, which actually turned me on, because all these years of being into throat "use and abuse" I was for the first time feeling abused. Also, my top lip hurt from his pelvis pounding my mouth. The next day I got a message from him on Recon. "I hope that was what you were looking for, I know I certainly was. Def want to use you again" I ended up meeting up with him another time, which was just as good as the first. But I still wanted to be able to take dick should the opportunity arise. However, it had been a while and only a few times that I had taken a fucking. Everyone I saw cruising Recon seemed to be a little on the experienced side, which I found a little daunting, as the last thing I'd want is to disappoint an angry Top. The kind of Top i'm into is a dominant(not rude) kind of sleazy top. In terms of looks I'm not picky or judgemental, I like a guy who's older than me and the shaved head Daddy type is definitely the ideal choice. But for what I had in mind, Recon just wouldn't do. I needed a guy who would take it easy on me at first, ease me back into the anal game. I needed an advert. I went to craigslist to put up a specific request as to what I needed. Then I got distracted. The first advert I saw in the m4m section piqued my interest. 100 dollars to accompany a man to dinner in a fancy restaurant, no sex, no games. "Well" I said to myself "I could do with 100 dollars". Fuck it, this seemed to be my mentality more and more as I lived in the city, throwing caution to the wind, not thinking about serial killers, rapists, or blackmailing. I sent my face pic and a quick message. The guy replied. He was a very forward Italian American with a good sense of humour in his late 40's. We chatted a bit online and arranged to meet. This may sound strange, but I wasn't nervous in the slightest as I stood out in the cold waiting for him to come pick me up. I was actually excited, this could be my first New Yorker friend. He pulled up in his truck, he looked like an extra on the sopranos, and talked like one too. This I liked, he was almost exactly how I imagined him(he typed the exact same way he talked), he was funny and confident. We got to know each other and he took me to a nice place in Manhattan, great food. After dinner he said "let me take you to this bar", I thought why not. So as we are driving to the bar he mentions the 100 dollars for the first time. "So you gonna let me blow you for that hundred bucks?". Huh? This had me confused, the entire time we talked he was talking about women he screwed, girls he fancied. His advert was weird, but he never came across to me as gay, and what happened to "no sex"? I didn't want to mention any of this because I thought it could lead to an awkward moment or some confrontation. I just laughed nervously and said "what?". "You don't gotta do anything you don't wanna?". I was still a little confused, did I have to let him blow me in order to get the hundred, or do I get it at the end of the date? Okay, reading that back I probably sound like the biggest slut around, I'm really not, but at the same time, how many people would turn down being paid to get your dick sucked?! "It's Okay, I'm game" I said. He pulled his car up on some dark street in Rockaway. "Get in the back" "Here?" "Don't worry, get in the back" I climb into the back seat, as he leans back the front seat. I whipped my belt off and pulled down my jeans. He grabbed my cock with his mouth through my boxer-briefs and began to jerk me off with his mouth. The whole spontaneity of the situation gave me an instant erection. He then took my dick out, "Holy fuck" he must have been impressed with the size. My dick isn't huge, but it's a pretty good size, it got a lot of compliments in the U.S. It only goes inside girls though(with the exception of two guys in the past). At this point my meat was in the back of this guy's throat. He was a good cock sucker I must say. Although the idea of this older tough guy Italian American sucking my skinny Irishboy cock, wasn't exactly a fantasy of mine. Luckily I had enough drink to not over-think it and enjoy the warm wet mouth around my dick. I decided to lean back across the backseat, and he must have took this as an invitation, as he then mounts me in a 69 position. He then takes out his roughly 6 inch thick piece and jams it in my mouth. I throat it with ease, he wasn't a face fucker so he was groaning at the fact I could swallow him, which after what the first guy from Recon put me through, this I could do in my sleep. After a while of getting each other's dicks wet. He asks if I'd like to stay at his. "Sure, why not?" As we approached his nice big house, with a pool in the back(for any American, every house/apt we see looks huge in comparison to the average Irish property. In fact when people tell me they have a "little apartment" in the city, I smile) "We might have to sneak in, my brother's staying for the weekend." This made me a little on edge, what would happen if he saw us? I'm a pretty discreet guy in general. I don't want to have to witness this guy's forced coming out party to his sibling. Luckily he wasn't there. We went up to his room, he turned on the TV and I continued to suck his cock. "You're so fuckin hot baby" he said, in a way that I felt he had said to many girlfriends in the past. I could be very wrong, but I got the sense that all of this was quite new to him. Anyway we stripped down to our underwear and spooned. I was the little spoon. I thought we were going to go to sleep, he had different plans. His hand slides down my underwear to cup my ass cheek, it felt nice. "Woah, fuck yeah" he whispered. I was closing my eyes ready to hit the hay, then I hear him sit up and fumble around with something. I hear a click, like a bottle cap pop open. He then slides his hand back down my boxers, and rubs something cold between my cheeks. Holy shit is he gonna fuck me? This is not what I was expecting at all just a few hours ago. Before I could think another thought, he slides my underwear down to my knees, and I feel the warm head work it's way to my hole and force its way in. The first thrust hurt like hell! I winced in pain and let out an audible "Ouww". The second thrust knocked the air out of my lungs, the third thrust curled my toes and made me grab the sheets in pain. He fucked without any rhythm or coordination which made it really sleazy, also he sweat a lot, I could feel it dripping from his head onto my back. I thought to myself "Oh my God. I'm getting fucked in the ass for 100 dollars....and I fucking love it!" I started to push back against his thrust to try to hurt myself more. I did this in a similar way I used to enjoy twisting a loose tooth as a child in order to make it hurt so much I would become accustomed to the pain. It didn't take long for him to come. I didn't say a word. He wiped his sweat off my back with a towel, then wiped his face and dick and threw it on the floor before cuddling up to me again. After some gentle kisses to my neck he says in my ear "By the way, if you get pregnant we're keeping it" I fall asleep. The next morning he wakes me up. We sneak out of his house and he drives me back to my block. True to his word he pays me 100 bucks and asks to meet again. I walk back to my apartment with a spring in my step and cum in my ass. When I get inside I immediately go to the bathroom to push his load out, and boy oh boy did he empty his balls. Seeing how much cum he left in me gave me an instant erection and I finished myself off thinking about the night before. My ass had been broken into, was given a taste of cum, and it was craving more...

Recently I've been diagnosed hiv positive. Very recently, the past few weeks. And although in the months up until this diagnosis I have engaged in extremely risky sexual acts, and slept with many guys in my most recent trip to NYC, it was still a surprise. "I don't want this" repeated throughout my head over and over again the day the news was revealed. I went through all the usual emotions. It's still fresh in my mind but it's something I have to deal with for the rest of my life. It got me thinking that maybe I should write some of this down, and relive the actions that got me here. Maybe some will find it sexy, or informative, maybe some will be able to relate. Maybe I'll make a few online friends through this, I certainly hope so. So here goes... I spent three months in New York City, from March to June. Think of it as a very long vacation. It left me with a lot of time on my hands. Time to get into some trouble. Just through idle searching on recon previously, I had came across a few Tops who I thought would make for some interesting meetings. The only thing was I hadn't been fucked in a while, at this point I had only bare backed around 3 or 4 times. So I was very tight and very worried about not being able to accommodate a guy and making him angry. I am naturally very submissive around men I like, and the opposite around girls. I'm bisexual by the way. A fact that was questioned many times in New York, more so by gay men than women. Guys couldn't seem to get their heads around the concept. While I'm not the most manly of men, I'm certainly not feminine or camp nor does that personality type attract me sexually. Although I did find over there they were great company, just not my thing in the bed. So with this fear in mind, I thought it would be better too seek out oral tops first and work my way to anal. Not long after I settled into the city and got my bearings(living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn) I found myself arranging to meet a "rough throatfucking dom" sounds like my kind of guy! I absolutely love being throatfucked and he was the guy to do it. His face and dick pic matched my strict criteria(he had a face and a working penis) so soon enough I was on my way to meet him. He lived on Christopher St. in Manhattan, for anyone who doesn't know nyc. This is in the West Village a very gay area of the city, along with Chelsea, what was once the hangout spot for all the bohemian musicians of the 60's and 70's, a great area which I frequented constantly. He buzzed me into his apt building. As I climbed the stair my heart began to race. I was getting nervous, after all we didn't exactly get to know each other in our conversation online. It went like this: "Def interested in brutally throatfucking you, work your skinnyboy throat pussy like a real pussy. I'm free today after 5. Interested to see how much of a brutal face fucking you can take" What I got from that wasn't much, but I knew he turned me on, and he seemed serious about throatfucking. I made sure not to eat the entire day. Something that comes natural when knowingly meeting up with guys as nerves and excitement usually suppress my appetite. I got to his door and it opened before I could knock. "Hey" he said in his deep southern drawl. I had never found an accent sexy before, but this after all was my first american man, a country I have loved from a distance. Turns out he was from Arizona, his voice was fascinating, deep and rich, but really calm. My nerves turn to excitement immediately. "Come in." He was wearing a white wife beater, black Y-fronts and white socks. He looked very different from his profile picture, much better in fact, which made me question why he hadn't updated it in seemingly some time. I asked him if I should remove my clothes and he told me just the shoes. We then walked into the living area, which was carpeted with a leather couch. He knelled me down on the carpet in front of his bulge. He pressed my face against his cock. Then it went from 0 to 60... Once he whipped his cock out of his underwear I knew I was in for it. Holy shit, pictures did not do it justice. It was massive, about 8 inches long and curved to the right, but the girth was something else. It really thickened towards the base, with a full bush to bury my face in. No warm up with this guy, he wasn't interested in a gentle blowjob. No, he meant what he said, unlike so many guys on online hook-up sites, he was the real deal. I opened wide and he rammed it straight down my throat, the bend was very noticeable and uncomfortable in this particular position. It was pushing at my throat, like it was trying to break out. He only began to hump once the dick was fully swallowed which was a nice touch and something I think most throatfuckers should do. He had his technique. He was digging for the right spot, to him it was all about the feeling, when you watch throatfucking videos, you can tell what's for show, none of what he did was theatrical, it was all functional. He wanted his dick as deep in my throat as possible, and once he hit the right spot he would, as he said he would, fuck it like a pussy. It was painful and hot at the same time. At one point I tried to breathe as his cock was deep in my throat. This, in addition to his pubes up my nostrils, caused my to gag hard. Eyes started to water, and mouth began to produce some much needed lubricant, after this the whole experience became much more enjoyable. He didn't say much as he was reaming my tonsils only the occasional "Good, goooood!" and grunts of encouragement. He reminded me to cover my top teeth, which I did immediately, hoping I didn't scratch him. He began smashing my face with his pubic bone. He was really enjoying himself, I was trying to endure the pain, and enjoying it also. When he slowly pulled his cock out of my mouth, thick drool dribbled from his cock onto my t-shirt. Shit, I have to walk home like this! But then I looked at his dick. the shaft had a streak of blood on it. Oh no, did my stupid teeth cut him, will he freak out, am I going to get beat for this. He either didn't notice or didn't care, because he started jerking off furiously. He was having a good time, which made me very happy. He then pulled my shirt off, lay me on the couch with my head hanging over the back(the classic). And proceeded to pump my throat like the pussy he said it was. For some reason this position was much more comfortable, it seemed to work better with his curved. Before I knew it, he was about to cum, his thighs squeezed my face and drove his dick deep while cumming. No pulling out. I didn't even get to taste it. Straight down the hatch. He tapped me with a few smacks on the cheek as if to say "good job boy" then sat down on the couch, exhausted and happy. He jerked his semi for a while while I knelt at his feet and he asked me a few questions about Ireland, why I was here, small talk. He told me he really enjoyed it and would like to do it again. Yes! Validation, something I always aim for is a guy wanting to meet again, someone who has had so much fun with me that he'd repeat the session if given the chance. So far, everyone I've met has wanted to meet up again, not everyone actually has, but it's good enough for me that they want to. I asked to use his bathroom and as I was washing out my mouth I finally found out where the blood came from. I had bust my top lip while he was bashing his groin against it. Damn, my two front teeth. I thought as long as he had fun, I'm happy. I left the apartment optimistic about the rest of this trip. However I had absolutely no idea what lay ahead of me. Bathhouses, breedings, 3somes, orgies and being introduced to the strongest drug I've ever tried, crystal meth!! Okay, so this is my first blog, first time really talking about a sexual encounter. Please let me know if you liked it or not, or want to hear more about my stay in New York. It really was an experience with a lot of firsts, which feels good to be sharing with you guys. Thanks for reading. BH