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The biggest challenge in my gender transition has been learning how to douche my ass. Not the surgeries and the internal bleeding , not the coming out over and over again, not telling my father or my son that I was planning on having a glorious BBC of my own. No , the hardest thing, is the mostly mental block to, cleaning the waste out of the trash bin so to speak. The humiliation aspect of being that trash bin for strangers starts right there. I'd be remiss if I did not say that the preparing myself has become part of a ritual that is both humiliating and empowering. But it has yet go smoothly. Let me bring some context and highlight some key factors. There is both the physical content of one's bowels that I contend with and most of it is simply a matter of waste management. There is also a massive mental roadblock to connect anus with pleasure. And I don't believe that sexual preferences nuliify these fears and aversion. There is a real and present danger to exposing yourself to feces. If you are from the Central Valley and have had your lettuce and spinanch disappear from your market, it usually because there is human feces contanination. This is very much highlighted by my educational focus of insects, parasites and the inescapable truth that we are all connected. Watch an episode of Monsters Inside Me. This alone has flatened the tires on this little dumpster prospects of rimming. Delish...Back to the matter at hand. I do love anal sex though, it is vicious and raw and unforgiving. So me and my ass are on a mission. I am not new to anal sex but I am new-ish to recieving and definitely new to the frequency and force. As female, I made many failed attempts at anal sex; it was always shockingly painful. Testosterone has wonderfully turned pain into a raging hard on. Even with the pain relieved, it was hard to make any headroom in my ass. I am dedicated to providing the smoothest ride possible...so began a rigourous course of solo training. Through which a relationship began with my little gulping baby gape. I have invested more than a few paychecks into anal toys and lube. My play has increased in intensity and frequency growing my confidence and easing some of my fears. If you haven't gathered, I am no power bottom, or a natural bottom. I have to work incredibly hard for every inch I can take. My lower gut will always restrict my abilities and I think a few tips from you would help a great deal.I have always run on the constipated side and since surgery complications I really struggled to maintain bowel health. I am that guy that needs at least two hours. Diets make no difference. And there is no question of not cleaning before hand. I have a massive fear of making a mess, it requires mantras and mid sex mediation to keep it cool sometimes. I come from a very proper, and prudish family, think ballet and cottilions. And the social indoctrinations for women behavior run deep and dark. I have weighed the idea of giving it up and I can't. 1.) have been blessed with the amaizing ass orgasms , come to Daddy . I 2.) and honestly I am insecure about being a gay man with only a delish boi pussy to pound on. And a lot of gay boys love that boi pussy. So it's me, not you So there it is. Tell me your horror stories, tips and tricks, funny bloopers. Healthy fun is the priority. I will never be a porn star but I will be best King Peach I can be for the men who love to beat it up

Today I am 43. I don't look it that's for dam sure and I sure as hell aint mad at being carded. It is quickly becoming an asset to my own dark dementors. I like my men older. I lost my virginity at 14 to a beautifully hung military man. And my 1st Dom at 18 was 40 years my elder. But this strikes a darker streak, a primal need to be consumed by my maker, to be destroyed by my own creator. And the dark perverted child in me finds it funny when disapointment and confusion spreads across the face of that fetishly older bare rider that I am entertaining . I own both his greatest kink and his deepest secrets. I hold their manifistation deep in my boy cunt. His cock still throbing in shock from the huge load he just laid in that young tight boi pussy , he watches his thick deposit drip along the deep dark pink slit crack, he gathers his escaping gift and pushes back into storage. That load, was for that egotisitical cocky cum slut boy who sleaszed his boi cunt up and down the virtual meat market goading, teasing begging for something he could not possibly handle. Stupid Hot FTM wanting to play sowrds with battle tested veterans. Dumb, pretty boi flagged down this bull and he had meant to break him, teach him his place at the end of his cock, he was to father this kid who needed a spanking probably more than he needed a dicking down. Not only did this Not -a- Boi, with his creamy tight pussy strangle every last drop from his dick loving balls, now he takes away the enjoyment of of a lesson well taught, a punishment well delivered, an ego well bruised. He watches as this not-a-boi wriggle from the tickless he has given himself. With an egorged ego this boi stretches and flexs legs and back, licking the discipline from his fingers like dessert was served. The confusion and desire will not leave him, he will only sink further into this not-a-boi who in turn will welcome the darkest stain of him. He will return to lose his mind and teachings will turn to worship and he will not understand how this fox cub became master. I own both his greatest kink and his deepest secrets. I hold their manifistation deep in my boy cunt. And he has just pushed every last drop back into my vault where he prays I will absorb his truth and absolve him with permssion.