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There was a brief time I went to the bath house fairly regularly. It’s less of a hassle than grindr and you just get people who say they’re not interested instead of flakes. One night I saw a cute south asian twink who was about 5’4” and maybe 100lbs with what I assumed was his much older boyfriend. We locked eyes as I was passing by on the bathroom and we smiled at each other. I peed, washed my hands, and went to walk around some more. I walked down a hall and saw him again walking toward me and he said hi. I said hi back and stopped in front of him. He asked me if I wanted to fuck and I said yes, so he led me back to the sling room which was unoccupied. I closed the door behind us and he took off his towel and hopped in the sling, spreading his legs wide in the stirrups. He had a nice 5 inch uncut cock and a tight little ballsack. I had a little bottle of lube with me and I asked him if bare was okay. He said yes so I took off my towel and lubed up my cock. Another reason I like bathhouses. Barely a minute since I said hi to him and I’m sliding my cock bareback into a 20 year old twink. His ass opened easily for me and felt like a velvet glove. I started fucking him, asking to make sure it was okay to cum in him. He said yes and I told him he was a hot little bareback slut and a stranger twice his age was about to seed his hole. He said he loved the dirty talk and that he loved strangers filling his ass with cum so his boyfriend could fuck his cummy hole. That sent me over the edge and I blew my load into him as he jerked his own load onto his stomach. I pulled out, thanked him, went to shower and go home. It was a quick trip. The next weekend I went back on a Saturday night and it was moderately busy. I got undressed and saw there was someone at one of the glory holes so I stuck my soft cock through and immediately a mouth was on it getting me up to full mast. I let him suck me for about a minute before pulling out, wrapping my towel around my waist with my obviously hard cock tenting the towel. I walked into the maze and turned a couple corners and saw two muscle guys. I caught the eye of one of them with brown hair and he whispered to his blonde friend. His friend looked at me and nodded. The brown haired guy walked up to me and grabbed my hand and said you’re coming with us. I followed him into the sling room with his friend behind me. The blonde shut the door while the brown haired guy pushed me into the sling. They got my feet in the stirrups and the blonde put a condom on his nice 6 inch cock and lubed it while his friend started sucking my cock. I was mostly looking to top that day, but had cleaned out so I said fuck it. The blonde go between my legs and stretched me open with his condom covered cock. His friend stood by my head and opened his towel, revealing a gorgeous 7 inch cock which I immediately took into his mouth. We stayed like that for a few minutes with the blonde fucking my ass while I serviced his friend. Then the brown haired guy moved down toward the blonde, who pulled out and pulled off the condom, tossing it in a little trash can. The blonde moved up to my head and stuck his cock in my mouth. I glanced down at his brown haired friend and saw him lubing up his bare cock. He lined it up and sank his dick bareback into my ass. I nearly had a spontaneous orgasm as he bottomed out in my unprotected ass. He started railing me with his raw cock and I was in heaven as I got spit roasted by these two muscle hunks. After a few minutes the blonde pulls out of my mouth and jerked his load onto my face and in my mouth. I was licking his cum off my lips when the brown haired guy pulled out and I looked as he jerked his load onto my stomach. I was turned on but disappointed that my ass didn’t have any cum in it. They left me lying there and I got out of the sling and walked to the showers with cum on my face and rinsed off. I walked back to the maze and saw a twink getting fucked on a bench on his hands and knees by a handsome thirty-something guy. The twink shot a load onto the bench which he wiped up with his towel and said thanks to guy over his shoulder and pulled off his cock and walked off. I laughed and said that looked abrupt. The guy said whatever and pulled the condom off his cock and tossed it in the trash. I asked if he wanted to finish in me and he said sure and went to grab a condom. I told him he didn’t need that if he didn’t want it so he shrugged and got behind me as I got on my hands and knees. I felt his raw 6 inch cock slide into my already stretched hole. He grabbed my hips and started pounding my bareback hole. I told him not to pull out and a few minutes later he went balls deep and collapsed on my back. After a moment he pulled out his bare cock and ruffled my hair and walked off. I heard someone say that was hot and turned to see another thirty-something guy stroking what looked to be a nice 7 inch cock. I asked if he’d like to make a deposit as well and he said yes, so I got on my back and he got in between my legs and I took my third bare cock of the night. I started jerking off and my the time I shot my load I had my second load of the night from the fourth cock buried 7 inches deep. I went to the toilet to empty out the loads, showered and went home. About a month later I was at the bathhouse going from the steam room to the hot tub when I passed by 4 twenty-something twinks where all going to the same room. I recognized one as a guy that lived near me because I saw him on Grindr but he never responded to be, which sucked because he was hot. I figured I wouldn’t have a chance with any of them so I just went to the hot tub which was empty. I was enjoying the jets for a few minutes when all of them came and got in the hot tub with me. We struck up a conversation and the guy that I recognized was sitting next to me. I said I think we might be neighbors and he confirmed we were. As we were chatting I felt his hand on my thigh and a few moments later, I felt another hand on my other thigh from his friend who was sitting on the other side of me. My cock immediately went to full mast and eventually both of their hands were stroking my cock and balls. I returned the favor and was stroking two hard twink cocks as we were chatting. Turns out it was their first time there. One of them said they wanted to check out the glory holes, so we all got out and dried off and went over there. They looked around a bit and I asked how immersive of an experience did they want. The neighbor went up to a hole next to me and we took off our towels and put our cocks through. The other guy I was stroking in the hot tub went around the other side with the other two. After a few moments I felt a soft mouth on my cock and started getting a great blow job. My neighbor was looking at me while he was getting sucked as well so I reached over and started fingering his ass. After a few moments the mouth pulled off my cock, and I guess the others went off somewhere. My neighbor asked me if I had a room and I said yes so we went back there. As soon as I closed the door he got naked and we started making out. I couldn’t believe I was finally hooking up with this hottie. He had a boyfriend so I had to wear a condom, but I ended up fucking a load out of him. He left to go shower and I went to wander around, almost immediately running into the other guy that was jerking me off in the hot tub. He also asked if I had a room so we went back there and got naked and started making out. We got pretty hot and heavy, sucking each other and me rimming him. We were on our knees with me behind him, me kissing his neck and ears as my cock was between his legs, poking at his hole. He said we should use a condom and masks if he wanted to or we should, and he said we should. I asked him to just put it in for a minute bare and he said we should use a condom, so I grabbed one and he got on his back as I rolled it on and lubed up and slid inside him. He wrapped his legs around my back as I fucked him. After a few minutes I asked him again if I could fuck him bare just for a little bit. He again said we shouldn’t because his friends would ask him if he used a condom and he didn’t want to lie. He said it would be a different matter if the condom broke or something so I pulled out of him and pulled on the condom until it broke and gathered around the base of my dick. Oh it broke I told him, guess we’ll have to keep fucking. He laughed and said cute. I told him he could honestly tell his friends we used a condom. He looked unsure so I said look, get on your hands and knees. I lined up behind him and started rubbing my com along his crack. I grabbed his hand and guided it to the base of my cock where the condom was bunched. See I told him, you can honestly say you felt the condom. His hand held on to the base of my cock as I slowly rubbed the bare head on his crack. He moaned and then pulled forward a little bit so my cook was lined up with his hole. He pushed back and my raw cock slid into his hole. He got up on his knees and reached back and grabbed my head as I kissed his neck. Let me guess I whispered in his ear, you’re a cum slut but your friends are judgy prudes. He agreed and said it was easier when he had a boyfriend breeding him almost every day. I started jerking his cock and told him now he had to rely on the kindness of strangers. He laughed at that. A few minutes later I was about to unload in him and he said he was about to cum. I shot into his unprotected ass as his load spewed out onto the bed. After I pulled out and was pulling off the ruined condom he said he hadn’t had an orgasm like that since the last time his ex fucked him bareback.

Author's Note: If you are starting this journey, I highly highly highly encourage you to start with the Sorrowful Author's Note. This could have easily been the first chapter or an Epilogue, but because I wrote it raw and not as a narrative, I chose to include as a note instead. Please read it. It will help to explain some things through the course of the next many chapters. It was late spring 2010 in Seattle. I was 31 at the time, 5’10”, 170lbs, athletic and fit and a very active and competitive cyclist. I was in great shape physically and mentally. I kept myself very well groomed – cropped haircut that looked both professional and casual, clean shaven. I dressed like a modern professional at work, and an early 30s modern gay in my downtime. I had a beautiful condo overlooking Lake Union, and close connections with friends and family. I looked very much like the boy next door who had grown up and into a successful career after his time at university and lived a comfortable city life. I worked along with 130,000 other people, and a large percentage of other Seattle gays at one of Seattle’s largest companies. “The Company” Because so many of the Seattle gay social scene worked at my company and a couple others, it meant we drank, dated, partied, clubbed, fucked, and socialized with many of the same people inside and outside of work. Everyone knew everyone, or knew someone who had slept with someone who had once dated someone…and someone always knew something about someone who had once dated the person you were interested in. There were entire blogs written by gay Seattle under pseudonyms sharing the juicy details about events or parties of all kinds, or take-down sites that shared rumors to avenge a grudge. It was Gossip Girl, Gay Seattle style. Appearance wise and professionally, I was a catch. I was involved in the gay social circles, but I was also somewhat of a pariah. By this time in 2010, I had been out of the closet for over 15 years and had had more bareback sex than probably fifty of the people I knew combined. I hooked up regularly with people off Craigslist and frequented Club Z and Basic Plumbing. I was known for liking “dirty” things like wearing harnesses, using dildos, and piss. Over the course of the years, all of this had become part of my persona that people talked about with everyone else but me. I honestly didn’t really care. There was nothing I could do to erase what they believe they knew, and regardless of how they got their information about me, a lot of it was true. But that didn’t mean they liked it. It did make any attempts at dating futile. Despite being adamantly against condom-sex and having a strong appetite for non-“vanilla” sex, first dates for me often involved overcoming rumors and perceptions. “Do you really bareback?” “You go to Club Z, isn’t that place just all people with HIV doing drugs?” I wasn’t even positive at this point. First dates spent explaining these things are a clear indicator things aren’t going to work. So I focused on what I knew I did well and really liked doing…sex. My kind of sex. I was still active socially, but instead of accepting date invites or asking guys out, I’d go home and cook dinner, find some dick on Craigslist, get a load, and go to sleep………… ----------------------------- I hadn't met Ethan before, and we didn't have any work interaction at "the company.” I would come to find out that we also had very few friends in common, which was a rare thing for those that were gay in Seattle AND worked at the company. We were both asked by our separate organizations to work on a special cross-company project along with several others and started having daily multi-hour project meetings and working sessions that would last past dinnertime. I thought he was attractive, and we didn’t need to tell each other we were gay. We were as flirty as you can be in a professional environment in front of colleagues by our second day on the project. Ethan was a presence. He was 6’4” – muscular but still had a softness to his lines and contours. His arms were muscly. He had a trim waste, big chest, big butt and thighs. He had a cropped haircut of very dark almost black hair. He had a great smile filled with shocking white teeth contrasting with his light but still olive complexion. He dressed like a well dressed Italian – fitted shirts and polos, expensive jeans and fitted pants. He was funny and told amazing jokes, was polite and kind with his words. He had the type of confidence that you love to see in people…not ever bordering on arrogant but secure in himself. We hit it off and at the end of the second week of the project, we decided to drive back to the city and go have a drink. The palpable sexual energy grew while he rubbed my leg while sitting next to each other on bar stools. At the end of round one he had migrated his hand all the way to right between my legs and underneath my balls and we had kissed briefly. We drove back to his place and had really amazing sex. Ethan had a really nice dick – big enough to be notable compared to others. It was like the perfect dick. It was a Goldilocks dick. I didn’t give a shit about where we were going as a couple but I’m going to do everything to remain friends… He had been behind me eating my hole and then suddenly there was lube slathered across my hole. He moved very quickly and the very next thing I knew, his dick was pushing against the center of my hole playfully. And then in one aggressive and committed move, he pushed his dick all the way in and kept pushing until my hole was wrapped around the base of his dick. I moaned and squirmed a bit – that was not a typical maneuver for most tops so it was completely unexpected. He settled into a normal rhythm of fucking me, occasionally smacking my ass, and occasionally pulling his dick all the way out and shoving it back in. I could feel my hole being worked and stretched and I was moaning and asking him for more. Over probably 25 minutes, he came three times back-to-back inside of me. I could feel each one as his dick twitched and he gave extra power to thrust deep inside me to bury his load. He eventually pulled out and before I could move from my hands and knees position to lay down, he started working my hole with his fingers. Before I knew it he had all five fingers in my hole and was working to get his hand deeper inside me. He kept going for over 10 minutes until I was comfortable up to the widest part of his hand. He continued to work but after many minutes of this we stopped, both of us exhausted. We collapsed side by side. “That was fucking awesome. It was fucking hot being inside you.” “Damn dude, that was one helluva fuck! I can’t believe you came three times!” “It’s a curse. Even when I jerk off I cum multiple times! So, I fucked you raw. Sorry about that. I’m not a condom guy. I’m negative and don’t have any STDs.” “Dude, I only fuck without a condom. It’s fine with me. Me too on the test results. I want you to do that when we fuck again!” He grabbed my hand and rolled to his side to look at me. We both looked like two gays who just had amazing sex. A sheen of sweet across our bodies, hair disheveled, smiling. “So no condoms. Yeah, I really hate them. I know it’s not a popular opinion but…ah well! I got a lot of unpopular opinions. I don’t share them all that much because Seattle gays are so fucking judgy!” We talked a bit about the Seattle gay scene and being part of it, but also outsiders as well. We had a real connection in that way. “So what else do you like to do…like…in terms of sex and fucking?” We talked for about an hour about all the things we had in common sexually and shared some interesting stories from our past. We got along great on a multitude of levels……………………….. ----------------------------- Over the next several weeks, we continued to hook up but I wouldn’t say either of us thought of it as dating. In fact, frequently we’d get together after the gym after work, fuck, and then go out to sushi or a restaurant after. It was effortless. We had an obvious attraction for each other, but we were not forcing things in to a “dating” or “relationship” box. We hooked up at work a few times – I’d go to his building or he’d come to mine, or we’d meet somewhere on campus. He’d also occasionally send me “dares” via instant message. “I dare you to piss in a coffee cup and then carry it around with you to meetings for the rest of the day” or “Go jerk off in the bathroom on to your hand and send me a picture of you eating it.” I completed all of the dares. It was nice to have a friend I had things in common with that I could be myself around and also have great sex with……………………………………………… ----------------------------- About three months after our first “date,” the company announced a special “bonus” for all employees – a full week paid week off. Different organizations would have different weeks, but Ethan and I would come to find out that our organizations had the same week assigned for our bonus week. We hadn’t talked the week prior to the “bonus week” because I think everyone was scrambling to get stuff done so we could enjoy the time off. I had planned on staying home, doing projects around the house, seeing family…. just relaxing. That became boring by Saturday mid-day when I got a call from Ethan. “What are you up to?” It was a beautiful late spring day, blue skies, warm but not hot. He invited me over to his house to have some drinks outside on the deck. He had a beautiful hose overlooking the water. I started to change clothes and was about to leave but stopped at the door and decided I should douche just in case. I didn’t think this was a bootie call but it’s better to be prepared than sorry. I got to Ethan’s and he opened the door and he walked towards me, wrapped his big arms around me, and lifted me off the ground and spun around on his front porch. He was in a very good high energy mood, and it was palpable. He made some vodka sodas and after a few rounds, shooting the shit, we both had a nice buzz. He came back with one more around and after setting them down walked behind my chair and started squeezing my shoulders repeatedly. His touch was firm and penetrating, but not painful. My body was already tingling. He then reached over further and ran both his hands down the front of my torso, continuing his hand all the down until he reached the waist of my jeans. The pressure of his hands was again firm and penetrating and I felt amazing. My dick was rock hard and I wanted nothing else but to get naked and climb on to his dick. He stood back up and walked to his chair and sat down, looking over at me. “I really like that we can talk about all the things we talk about. I don’t get to do that with many people. They’re either freaked out, intimated, scared, or part of the ‘safe only’ crowd.” I could relate. “Trust me, I get it. I don’t even get to talk about stuff like this because half the time, people have already heard about me from someone else.” “So, you really like…?” (he listed out a bunch of the stuff we had talked about) “Yeah, really, I do. I wish I had more of it. Sometimes it’s hard enough to find someone to fuck without a condom, let alone piss on you…as an example.” “Totally. I just keep being up front about it and fuck the judgy assholes………so………how do you feel about like bondage, restraints, gags, things like that. I know we talked a little about it but are you in to it?” I told him how I had restraints, harnesses, gags, restraints myself but only rarely used them during longer fuck sessions. Ethan told me he liked using them as often as possible. “Can I show you something? Come with me and take a look at this.” We entered the house and walked into the living room. Tucked in to an alcove you wouldn’t see unless you stood in the living room (which I’d not done on previous visits) was this MASSIVE black trunk. It appeared to be covered in leather, had silver hardware and handles, and was just massive in size. At least two people could sit inside. Covered with embossed black leather with silver hardware and handles, filling the entire width of the alcove and approximately 4 feet tall. It was massive. It was a beautiful statement piece and was strangely very different than the rest of the furniture I’d seen at his house. “That thing is huge. Where did you get it?” He had purchased it when a famous hotel in New York had closed several years prior. It was one of the statement pieces they had in their lobby. He opened the trunk. I was speechless and stood there with my hand raised to cover my mouth, eyes wide trying to take in everything in front of me. Inside, and very neatly organized, were an array of all things “sex” - dildos, buttplugs, anal beads. All types of restraints and harnesses, ball gags, different types of rope, chains, locks. There was a thing I would learn was called "the humbler" which looked like a symmetrical paddle with a hole in the middle. There was some plastic tubing and a box shaped “bucket.” Nipple clamps, cockrings, ball stretchers. There was a control panel with dials and a cord next to a ziplock bag of smaller cords which I assumed had to be some fancy eStim device. It wasn't just like he had one of some of these items, he had multiple. And it was so meticulously organized. You probably couldn't go into a sex store and find as much inventory. We were standing side by side and he grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. “Whadya think?” He seemed genuinely excited to show it to me and hear my response. My eyes were wide because I was taking it all in, I had a grin on my face. I was impressed and said so to Ethan: "This is really fucking impressive. You have like EVERYTHING! And it's all so organized. All my gear is in a duffle back in the closet and every time you want anything you have to dump the whole bag out and scrounge around on the floor just to find a cockring! I'm jealous!" "Don't be jealous! (he switched gears really quick) I thought maybe we could carve out some time to work on our deliverables sometime this week even though we're not working. What do you have going on this week...anything?" "Not a damn thing - I don't want to do anything that I thought I would tackle so I'm probably just gonna watch TV and play XBOX." "So no family anything, no dates, no meet ups with friends?" (I remember thinking he was asking for a lot of specificity but it didn't alarm me...Ethan was a business analyst so his job is to probe for details. But the change in focus from sex toys to my week-off schedule was abrupt. In retrospect, I understood his interest for my full week’s schedule.) "Nope!" "Cool, well, you wanna have some fun and play with some of this shit. You cool with a little Dom/Sub action? I'll be the Dom since you don't know what half this shit is probably." "Fuck yeah! This is hot as fuck. Are you gonna fuck me full of cum again too? I want some more of that." "Hell yeah, trust me, you'll get plenty of cum." (to be continued .... as of the date of publication 12/27/2025 - 22 additional Parts have been written with a plan for 18 more)

This is my 1st person account of a set of events and one core event in which I was a primary participant. I think I’ve done a good job at being correct, truthful, and honest, and told the story to the best of my ability in a way that reflects those days in 2010. One week after the core event concluded, Jason (Ethan in the story), Jacob, Alex and I went to dinner to debrief on the experience and make sure we were in a positive space with each other. There was no reason to feel otherwise. We were all happy and hugged as I departed the house at the end of the 6 days. (If you want to know more about the Writing Approach, I've detailed that here.) We had a wonderful dinner. I learned that this all came about because Jason had dated Jacob for a while, who had long ago dated Alex – this is how they one day accidentally came together and started talking about this idea. They were all huge BDSM fans and had the skills, money, and organizing skills to pull off something like this. At the dinner, we all had such amazing smiles on our face, we were laughing, and smiling, they told me some of the things that hadn’t quite gone to their plan – like the piss party on night one which was intended to be invite only but turned in a free-for-all (I didn't know what was supposed to happen one way or the other). Don't worry, The Dominants took care of the situation and things were solved by the next day. I don’t know who said it, but as four intelligent thoughtful introspective gay men sat around a table, someone asked “so, did we learn anything?” I remember responding almost instinctively and saying “I need more time to process that. I learned that when you can’t see, a lot can go on in your head. I built trust with you guys. It’s deeper than that, but I can’t talk about it right now cuz I don’t have the words.” I’m sad I responded that way because I think I mentally shut down thinking about the event ever again in a deeper way, until writing this. I wish I could call Jason, Jacob, and Alex and talk to them so many years later about what they remember, share with them what I’ve written, and reconnect. Sadly, 4 months after that dinner, Jason committed suicide. Underlying the suicide was the tragic and unexpected death of both his mother and father and his untreated depression and other undiagnosed but compounding mental challenges. He was a kind, funny, brilliant, compassionate, multi-faceted confidant sex pig. He knew his kinks and sexuality were outside of the “norm” and he embraced it and showcased it with pride. I didn’t know until after he died that when I went out with him on that date, my friends were all like “this is either gonna be a match made in heaven, or there gonna kill each other with dildos.” I’m gonna go with heaven...but with dildos...but no killing. 🙂 Also sadly, about 2 years after that dinner, Jacob died in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. The day I found this out was the last time I spoke to Alex. He was never a social media person even in those early days, I attempted to find him and have so far not been able to. So, this story will remain mine to tell, and as much as writing this down has given me joy, it reminds me of the loss of three people with whom I share a unique experience of significance in my life. An experience that cannot be duplicated and will never be replaced. For years I have jokingly talked about this experience as a “crazy date” and “the week I got locked in a dog cage” with friends and family. I've talked with gay people and straight people, those within the fringe sex community and those that aren't. Some of my straight friends will say sometimes when referring to a bad experience “at least you didn’t get locked in a dog cage.” In writing this, I recognized how much I had suppressed about the actual experience and how much calling it the "dog cage date" dramatically oversimplified and even disrespected the time that we shared. I think I have some unaddressed trauma over the loss of two of the three people, and the disappearance and disconnection from the third which occurred shortly thereafter. I’m choosing to tell the story and what that experience taught me and do so in a narrative fashion. I am thankful for Jason, Jacob, and Alex for their thoughtfulness creating this experience and including me. For thinking of what we learn about ourselves in every situation, even if it’s a really charged sexual experience. For keeping me safe, giving me the ability to experience things in a different way than I had ever in the past sexually – even if the activity were the exact same. This is for you, appropriately posted on a site called “Breeding Zone” which seems incredibly fitting – on the edge of sexuality, pushing boundaries, having fun, and always making sure the submissive bottom gets “many many many many loads.” Much love. PART 1 HERE