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Author's Note: Writing "The Trunk and the Cage" led me to explore my own experience more deeply. While I'd organized sex parties before—mostly logistics and coordination—this six-day event was different, shaped by months of careful planning by the Doms. They attended conferences, held working sessions, assigned roles, and consistently championed the core principles of BDSM. I knew little about these principles until I started writing and researching. Like many, I once thought BDSM was mainly about spanking, bondage, and pain. It can include those, but at its heart, it's about trust, communication, and respect. Below is a BDSM glossary compiled from various sources to help demystify it. My hope is that more gay men feel empowered to openly discuss their limits—preferences, dislikes, and hard nos. Clear boundaries don't kill spontaneity or anon hookups; they make deeper, more intense play safer and ultimately more liberating. Concepts or Activities boundaries incorporated into this specific event are highlighted in blue. T&C BDSM Glossary BDSM encompasses a wide range of consensual practices involving power exchange, sensation play, and role dynamics. At its foundation are ethical frameworks that prioritize participant well-being. Below is an outline and summary: Core Principles CONSENT: All activities must be explicitly agreed upon by informed, enthusiastic participants. Consent can be withdrawn at any time without repercussions. COMMUNICATION: Open, honest dialogue is essential before, during, and after scenes to discuss desires, boundaries, and feedback. SAFETY: Physical and emotional risks must be minimized through education, preparation, and harm reduction strategies. TRUST and RESPECT: Relationships and scenes are built on mutual trust, with respect for each person's autonomy, limits, and identity. INCLUSIVITY: BDSM communities emphasize diversity, non-judgment, and support for various genders, orientations, and experience levels. Standard Approaches SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual): A foundational guideline ensuring activities are physically safe, mentally sound, and fully consensual. RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink): Focuses on acknowledging inherent risks in activities while ensuring all parties are informed and consenting. PRICK (Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink): Emphasizes individual accountability for understanding and managing risks in consensual play. 4Cs (Caring, Communication, Consent, Caution): A holistic approach integrating emotional care with practical safety measures. Methodologies Negotiation: Pre-scene discussions to outline activities, limits (hard/soft), safewords, and aftercare needs, often using checklists or contracts. Scene Structure: Sessions typically include warm-up, main play, and cool-down, with ongoing check-ins to monitor well-being. Safewords and Signals: Standardized systems (e.g., traffic lights: green=go, yellow=slow, red=stop) for immediate communication, especially in non-verbal scenarios. Aftercare: Post-scene support to address physical (e.g., hydration, wound care) and emotional (e.g., reassurance, cuddling) needs, helping prevent subdrop or topdrop. 💡While not exactly the same as a roller coaster, the highs and lows of sex in the kink community can feel the same. This is known as sub drop and top drop – “sub” referring to the submissive partner and “top” being the dominant partner. Education and Community: Involvement in workshops, munches (social gatherings), or online forums to learn techniques, etiquette, and risk management. Risk Mitigation: Use of safe equipment, hygiene practices, and emergency protocols; avoidance of intoxicants during play. These elements ensure BDSM is practiced responsibly, enhancing pleasure and connection while reducing harm. Alphabetical BDSM Glossary Author's Note: I have highlighted the specific BDSM activities I believe were a part of my 6-day adventure covered in this blog. Note also that these are just some of the words and definitions associated with BDSM. Abrasion Play: A form of sensation play involving scraping or rubbing the skin with rough materials like sandpaper to create intense tactile experiences. Aftercare: The period following a BDSM scene where participants provide emotional and physical support to each other, such as cuddling, hydration, or debriefing, to ease back into normalcy. Age Play: Role-playing scenarios where participants adopt childlike or parental roles, often involving nurturing or disciplinary elements, but always consensual and non-literal. Ball Gag: A device placed in the mouth to restrict speech, often used in bondage or humiliation play to enhance submission. Bastinado: Impact play focused on the soles of the feet, typically with canes or rods, requiring caution due to sensitivity. Bondage: The practice of restraining someone using ropes, cuffs, chains, or other materials to limit movement, often for sensory deprivation or power exchange. Bottom: The person receiving sensations, actions, or submission in a scene, not necessarily implying a submissive role. Breath Play: Restricting airflow through choking or smothering for erotic asphyxiation, considered edge play due to high risks. Cane: A thin, flexible rod used for impact play, delivering sharp, stinging sensations. CBT (Cock and Ball Torture): Activities targeting the genitals with pain or restriction, such as clamping or slapping, for masochistic pleasure. Chastity Device: A lockable cage or belt preventing genital access or erection, used in orgasm denial or control dynamics. Collar: A symbolic item worn around the neck to signify ownership, submission, or commitment in D/s relationships; can be temporary or permanent. Consent Violation: Any breach of agreed boundaries, considered a serious ethical issue in BDSM communities. Contract: A written agreement outlining rules, limits, and expectations in a D/s dynamic, often used in long-term relationships. Dominant (Dom/Domme): The person who takes control, directs the scene, and provides structure or discipline. Dungeon: A dedicated space equipped for BDSM play, often found in private homes or clubs, with furniture like crosses or benches. Edge Play: High-risk activities pushing physical or psychological limits, such as knife play or fire play, requiring advanced skill and consent. Fetish: A strong sexual arousal from specific objects, materials (e.g., leather, latex), or body parts not typically eroticized. Figging: Inserting peeled ginger root into the anus or vagina for a burning sensation, used in sensation or punishment play. Flogging: Whipping with a multi-tailed implement like a cat-o'-nine-tails to create thuddy or stingy impacts. Gorean: A lifestyle inspired by John Norman's novels, emphasizing strict master/slave dynamics with rituals and positions. Hard Limit: An activity a participant absolutely refuses to engage in, non-negotiable. Impact Play: Striking the body with hands or tools (e.g., paddles, whips) for pain and endorphin release. Kink: Any non-traditional sexual practice or interest, often overlapping with BDSM. Knife Play: Using blades for sensation, threat, or light cutting, emphasizing psychological fear and trust. Lifestyle: Full-time integration of BDSM dynamics into daily life, beyond occasional play. Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from receiving pain or humiliation. Mummification: Wrapping the body tightly in materials like plastic wrap or tape for total immobilization and sensory deprivation. Negotiation: The process of discussing and agreeing on scene details, limits, and safewords beforehand. Orgasm Control: Dominants regulating when or if submissives can climax, often through denial or forced orgasms. Paddle: A flat implement for spanking, delivering broad, thuddy impacts. Pet Play: Role-playing as animals (e.g., puppy, kitten) with behaviors like leashing or training. Party Play: A social event where BDSM scenes occur publicly or semi-publicly in a safe, monitored environment. Power Exchange: The consensual transfer of authority from submissive to dominant, which can be total (TPE) or partial. Queening: A form of facesitting where the dominant sits on the submissive's face for oral service or smothering. Rope Play (Shibari/Kinbaku): Artistic Japanese-style bondage using ropes for aesthetic restraint and suspension. Sadist: Someone who enjoys inflicting pain or humiliation on consenting partners. Safeword: A pre-agreed word or signal to pause or stop a scene immediately. Scene: A defined BDSM session with a beginning, middle, and end, focused on specific activities. Sensory Deprivation: Blocking senses (e.g., blindfolds, earplugs) to heighten others and increase vulnerability. Service Submission: A submissive's focus on performing tasks or duties for the dominant's benefit. Soft Limit: A boundary that might be pushed under the right circumstances with negotiation. Spanking: Striking the buttocks with hands or implements, a common entry-level impact play. Subdrop: Emotional or physical low following a scene, due to endorphin crash; mitigated by aftercare. Submissive (Sub): The person who yields control, following the dominant's lead. Suspension: Hanging someone partially or fully off the ground using ropes or harnesses, requiring expertise. Switch: Someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles, alternating based on context. Top: The person administering sensations or actions in a scene, not necessarily dominant. Top Drop: A dominant's emotional dip post-scene, often from responsibility or adrenaline drop. Vanilla: Non-BDSM, conventional sexual or relational practices. Violet Wand: An electrical device for delivering static shocks or tingling sensations. Wax Play: Dripping hot candle wax on the skin for temperature sensation play. Whipping: Using a single-tail whip for precise, intense strikes. Key References Wikipedia Glossary of BDSM — Comprehensive community-maintained list of terms. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_BDSM The Aftercare Lounge: Exploring the World of Kink: BDSM Glossary and Terminology — Detailed explanations of core terms and practices. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.theaftercarelounge.com/post/bdsm-glossary Obedience App: Glossary of BDSM Terminology — Covers roles, dynamics, and common activities. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://obedienceapp.com/blog/glossary-of-bdsm-terminology Passion & Soul by Lee Harrington: Kink and BDSM Glossary — Educator-focused definitions emphasizing consent and variety. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.passionandsoul.com/blog/info/kink-glossary Grindr Blog: SSC Kink and Other Safety Terms — Explanations of SSC, RACK, and related frameworks. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.grindr.com/blog/ssc-kink BeMoreKinky: SSC vs RACK BDSM Safety Frameworks — In-depth comparison of SSC, RACK, and PRICK. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.bemorekinky.com/blog/bdsm-fundamentals/boundaries-and-consent/ssc-vs-rack-bdsm-safety-frameworks BeMoreKinky: The Complete Guide to Post-BDSM Care and Recovery — Detailed on aftercare, negotiation, and safewords. [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.bemorekinky.com/blog/bdsm-fundamentals/boundaries-and-consent/bdsm-aftercare-guide

Author's Note: If you've made it this far and have not read the Sorrowful Author's Note, please do. It adds important context to all chapters of this story. When I was a kid and would occasionally be invited to a friend’s house for dinner, I always found it odd that the kids (me) were served a plate of food, portioned out for them, and there was an expectation they clean their plate. I always thought, “I didn’t choose how much was on the plate, but now I’m forced to eat everything anyway? I don’t like canned green beans!” Then there was the “May I have another/second helping?” permissive question. I could see additional food was available, was it being withheld for some reason? My mother was an amazing cook, and as a family, we tried to eat together 3-4 times a week. I miss those days before cell-phones and the internet… My mom would call up the stairs “DINNER TIME!” or during the summer she literally had an airhorn she would fire off front the front driveway, mostly for me, which told me I needed to come home for dinner. Within 10 minutes, we’d all be in the kitchen, grabbed our plates, and served ourselves. We’d occasionally prompt each other if something was new – “you should try this, you’ll like it” or “if you’re not gonna have the green beans, then you’re having…” It taught me to not let my eyes be bigger than my stomach, and also, to know when there was balance between food groups. Whatever lessons I learned from the different styles of having a family meal from my childhood, it meant absolutely nothing when it came to this experience. Balance? No. Personal choice? No. Idea what was next? No. Hunger for second helpings? Yes! Still and enduringly blindfolded, I hoped off the table and felt the plastic sheathing under my feet, slightly damp from piss. The majority of it had stayed on the table, but I could hear it start to drip down now that I wasn’t indenting the pad. My jock was soaked, my dick felt wet, my hole felt wet and cum filled, my hair was wet, my body was wet. I might as well have just jumped out of the shower or out of a pool – except it was all piss and cum from some unknown number of guys. Jacob held my bicep and started to lead me in to the living room towards the “drinks” area. “He looks like a fucking piss pig now!” and “He’s literally dripping piss all over his body” were my welcome messages, among others. It felt really strange (not in a bad way) to be blindfolded, not able to see, yet have everyone see you on full display. I determined that everyone was in the living room at that point, because there was literally no sound in the rest of the house. It was at this point that I determined that half of the people I thought were there had left…probably when I heard the door open and shut a couple of times. I didn’t know then if they were coming and going but it was clear they had left. I wanted to ask “can I have a water?” “how many people are here?” “did any of you fuck me? did any of you fuck me more than once?” “who gave me loads?” “is everyone that’s fucked me or pissed on me or whatever still here?” but I had not been spoken to or asked a question, so I just stood there. I couldn’t even make eye contact or exactly tell where people were… Ethan was in front of me. I only knew it was Ethan because he grabbed me on the shoulder and I could tell by the way he squeezed that it was just like he had done so when all of this had begun. He reached around the back of my head with the same hand, grabbed my hair and pulled my head back so it was tilted towards the ceiling. “Open your mouth, Boy!” “Yes sir!” I complied and he started to pour water into my mouth…dumping water into my mouth was more accurate. I wasn’t choking but there was cold water flowing into my mouth and out of my mouth because I couldn’t swallow, hitting my face and running down my body. It was cool enough make me shiver and as it reached my jock, I felt my dick twitch a little bit, recoiling from the cold. Two or three guys came over to play with me while Ethan put the bottle to my lips and let me take normal sips of water. One guy was in front of me on his knees and had pulled my jockstrap down below my balls and got access to my dick. He started sucking on my piss-soaked dick while pulling on my balls. He’d occasionally reach back with his hand and finger my cummy hole, so I was continuing to get my hole worked. My hole at this point felt pretty wide open and ready for more. I hadn’t had anyone suck my dick this whole time…it had only been slapped and pulled. Having my dick sucked by this guys warm mouth felt amazing. I’m a verbal top and a verbal bottom – always have been. I wanted to tell the guy to “suck my dick” and any of the 10000000000 other things I could have said, but I held it all in. It created this tension in my body that made me want to cum. I had finished the water and Ethan had moved away. The two other guys had positioned themselves, one in front and one in back. Behind me, the guy had taken over ongoing duty fingering my hole, smacking my ass checks, spreading my hole with fingers, and with the other hand, squeezing my shoulders. The guy sucking my dick had moved closer to my body and had my dick deep in my mouth and the other guy seemed to be standing over him. He was working my nipples, would occasionally grab my dick and feed it to the dick sucking guy. This was another moment where there was so much happening it was hard to tell…the guy in the back would reach around and also grab my dick, or squeeze my nipples, my hair would get grabbed. I could hear Ethan and Jacob and Alex talking to the other guys, past where the drinks were and about 10-15 feet away. “Let’s get going then!” I heard Ethan say, now loud enough for me to understand what he was saying. I had never seen him do this before this time, but he clapped again, like he had done before – kind of like a coach in a locker room letting the players know it was time to take the field. There was new animation in the room and the guy on the ground took his dick off my mouth and the other two stepped back as well. It was clearly Jacob and Alex who were now side by side next to me, holding my arms. I realized I hadn’t known up to this point where Alex had been. I suppose he must have been in the living room the whole time. They turned me around, back towards where the table was but more in the direction of the metal tub. I remembered it from earlier but hadn’t thought of it in a while. If the theme of the night was watersports, and given EVERYTHING that we’d already done, what could be next that requires this tub? Alex lifted up my leg once we reached the trough and helped me get in. (Pigs at the Troff was, at that time, one of my favorite pornos and still is, so the fact that I was being put in a trough for the first time in my life was not lost on me). “Boy, down!” Jacob commanded and instinctually dropped to my hands and knees, then repositioned myself so that I could lower my body down to the floor. I realized immediately I could have done a better job, because my ass at this point was in facing the center of the tub, and I imagined that isn’t where it was supposed to be. My suspicion was reaffirmed. Ethan smacked my ass hard while Jacob grabbed my hair and pulled me to the left so as to spin me around. “How the fuck is anyone going to get to your hole that way?” Ethan said. My ass was now resting on the edge of the trough, facing outward. My head was nearly in the center of the trouble, like the minute hand on a clock. I had an ah-ha moment – more piss fucking was ahead! And it didn’t take long. With the EDM still playing and porno still playing and coming from multiple directions, I was now also surrounded on all sides by however many guys were left at this party. I could hear guys stroking their dicks, or someone else’s dick, someone was getting their dick sucked on my left. And then I felt something I had not ever felt before, and I don’t think I have since. At first, it felt like a spatula, but it had a softer edge and a harder middle – like a paddle but soft on the outside. The first smack of whatever the fuck it was definitely made me lunge forward a bit, and I was thankful that the Humbler was nowhere near me. Whoever was using this slapper thing was alternating between my ass cheeks, occasionally running the flat paddle between my cheeks and over my hole. It stopped briefly and then I heard Ethan say, “Now watch this.” The next smack of the paddle was not even as hard as they had been but shot through my body from head to toe. The next one the same thing. And the next and the next, increasing and decreasing in force. Regardless of how much force was used, the sensation was like when you would accidentally shock yourself on an outlet. Oh shit, is this some eSTIM thing? I didn’t know until the paddle was placed between my ass cheeks and the electricity was engaged. FUUUUUCK! I moaned and yelled so loud there was no way that someone out on the street wouldn’t have heard me. But the stimulation was so intense I wasn’t even making my normal involuntary sounds. Every noise that came out of me was punctuated “ah ah ah ah ah” as though I was getting pounded, presumably from the waves of electricity flowing through me. I must have looked like an epileptic freak show. I was nowhere near in the proper position anymore, my arms were flailing from side to side, I was about 50% sitting upright but thrashing my body from side to side, I kept reaching back only to have people pull my arms away…the paddle just kept moving up and down between my ass cheeks and over my hole, sending electricity in to my body. I felt like my body was moving at the speed of sound. After maybe thirty seconds, the paddle was removed. I fucking loved it but FUCK! I don’t think that’s something I could take a lot of. As I thought about it, my ass has more fat and my hole was pretty much worked so if this had been applied to another part of my body (like my dick, or nipples, or anywhere) I think I might have lost it. I could totally have seen myself cumming hands free had they continued. Before I could even fully get my body back into an ass up position, the piss started flowing. One guy pissing from in front me, the other from behind me and to the side. The hot piss felt amazing, and I was just enjoying the warmth after the cold water from before. I heard the pump of the big lube container, and someone was positioning themselves behind me, pulling my hips back so that my ass hung over the edge of the trough. The pissing from both sides continued for just a while longer while the guy behind me got his dick up to my hole and thrust his dick inside. None of the fucking I’d received up to this point had been gentle, or slow, and all of the guys had a certain love for really ramming their dicks in hard from the start. Having had all the dick I had at this point, it was much easier to take but still made me gasp as he got his dick all the way inside me. Without the gag, I was making a ton more moaning and growling noises, and completely in a sex haze, moaned out loud and in a commanding way, “Oh, fuck my hole deep with you dick! Breed my hole!” I knew instantly I had broken one of my commands and hoped that no one would care, but Ethan and Jacob both responded within seconds and Alex stepped in to the trough near my head. Ethan used the paddle to smack my ass several times and Jacob did the same on the other side of my ass with his hand. These were punishments that would leave a red mark, and it stung, even while the guy behind me continued to have his dick buried in me. Alex at the same time smacked me across my face, pulled my hair and in a way I hadn’t heard him talk up to this point, said, “You don’t fucking talk unless we talk to you. You don’t fucking speak, unless we ask you to. You understand Boy?” He put his hand over my mouth and squeezed his hand on both of my cheeks to make my mouth open, then shoved his dick in my mouth. “If you fuck up again, the next thing gagging you is not going to be enjoyable!” The guy fucking me had started fucking for real while all of this was happening and clearly was turned on by it because only about 30 seconds after, he started to grunt, “I’m gonna shoot a load in him! I’m gonna fucking cum!” And he loaded me up with a big load, I could feel it. There’s no way this could have been his second of the night, because as soon as he stopped shooting, he pulled out and I could feel cum still coming out of his dick. “I’m tapping in, man!” said another guy and he quickly replaced the dick that had just filled me full of jizz. “Oh fuck man – this hole. What a fucking slut!” He didn’t just thrust in deep but started rapid fucking me from the jump. He was breathing heavy at first but then someone put a dick in his mouth, so he was making slobbering noises on some dick while he was fucking my hole. Another stream of piss started flowing all over my back, moved up to my neck and hair, then down to my lower back. The trough at this point was meaningless as my ass was hanging over the edge, but the guy kept pissing. “Man, this pussy is so slick and wet and loose…” and the guy on the other side of the dude fucking me then started pissing on me, while I continued to get my hole pounded. The guy fucking me shoved in really deep, making me grown wildly, piss splashing on my body, held there for a second and then in ten very fast strokes after said “Take my load you fucking piss pig! Take that fucking load.” And he buried his dick in me and shot his load, the other guy almost simultaneously finishing his piss shower on my body. “DAMN! I could fuck shit like this every day! Nasty piss pig! You like that Boy?” I had been grunting and moaning so much I didn’t even realize he was talking to me. He smacked my ass, still inside of me. “I asked you a fucking question. Did you like that Boy!” “OH MY GOD, fuck yes sir! The loads and the piss and fucking …. Fuck! It feels so good!” I was nearly incoherent. This was another moment where the blindfold really amplified the experience – I didn’t really have a sense of being on the ground, I kind of felt like I was floating my body didn’t feel like it was completely in physical form… “Thank you, sir. I feel fucking great.” The guy pulled out of my hole and at this point, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop cum from flowing out with his dick. My hole was still keeping most of it in, but I could tell my hole was covered on the outside. “Let me get at that!” and very quickly after the last guy had pulled out, I had another dick in me. He took almost no time to come at all and I’m pretty sure it was the same guy who had just pissed on me. There’s something hot about these types of group situations where, as time goes by, everyone gets so jacked up and horny that when they finally get in, they just can’t wait to shoot! He was not wanting to wait. He also fucked me fast, alternating between a lot of shallow thrusts and occasionally pushing in deeper. No more than 30 seconds later he shot his load in me and stayed still for about another 30 while he too gave me what felt like a giant load. He pulled out and said something along the lines of “I know you’ll enjoy that one! Good job Boy!” I heard some action over at the drinks station and just lay there coated with piss, cum-filled hole, cum-sloppy hole on the outside. I didn’t have a clue if that was it, who was still there, or whether I should move, so I just stayed still. I heard someone to my right exhale and then felt another strong stream of piss hit my body and move up to my head. “Move forward Boy and get in the middle more.” I did that. He pissed all over my body, targeted my hole, and kept pissing, finally relieving himself. The guys were all away from the trough it seemed at this point – drinking water or cocktails or whatever, and I just stayed there on my knees, body lowered down, my head on my hands. Ethan, talking to the group said, “Good?” and a combination of “Yeah, man” “Fuck yeah” and “For sure!” were the responses. “If any of you wanna rinse off really quick, the bathroom is through the kitchen. Towels are on the counter.” I heard one or two people proceed that way. The remainder (and it was still very unclear to me how many there were) seemed to go to the other side of the living room. I heard what sounded like a belt buckle, and just other sounds of people getting dressed. “Thanks for coming!” coinciding with what sounded like a high five, and I heard two or three people move past me, towards the door. “Nice job Boy! That was fucking hot!” one said. And the door opened and they left. Ethan grabbed my shoulders in his signature way and told me to sit up. He tossed a towel over my shoulder. “How you doing, Boy? You feeling good?” “Is it over? I feel amazing! I am…….I am….I dunno. That was fucking hot! I…” “Shhhhhh! Enjoy it. You made us proud. You did good, Boy!” Jacob and Alex were there, their hands on my body in various places. This time, it wasn’t dominant touching, but stabilizing. They were holding me in place, helping me re-establish my footing reassuring me, and even thanking or congratulating me. The guys from the bathroom were back, dressed fairly quickly, and while moving past me stopped to say to Ethan, Jacob and Alex, “That was hot! So good! Thanks for having us! Let us know if there’s other stuff going down.” “Will do, thanks for coming,” said Ethan. Jacob chimed in “Yeah, you guys were great!” I didn’t know how these two guys were different than the others – I’d have to think about that – but I did get the sense that they were a couple. One of the guys turned towards me, based on the sound of his voice, and said “Boy, you put in the work! You’re a hot fuck and a good nasty pig! Hope we see you again!” “Thank you, sir!” The door opened, they walked out. It was just me and the Doms. Jacob had his hand around my waist and Alex had his hand on my upper back. Ethan was standing in front of me. “Alright, Boy! You wanna take a shower and get ready to relax?” “Yes sir, and sir, can I ask for something else?” “Sure” “Could I get some more water and maybe something to eat after I shower? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m a bit hungry now that I’m now getting filled, sir!” “We’re way ahead of you! Go clean up.” Before going to the bathroom, Jacob and I stopped in the kitchen and sat at the table. He set a turkey sandwich directly on the table, a yogurt, and a bottle of water. “Eat this!” He grabbed my hand and placed it on the sandwich. They were not giving me any rewards via the food. Ethan loved really good food, and so the fact that I had eaten unseasoned chicken and rice out of a bowl earlier, and was now served a dry turkey sandwich, a plain yogurt, and a warm bottle of water seemed like a deliverable show of power and control. I ate it quickly, mostly because I was hungry and because there was nothing worth savoring. “Let’s go!” Jacob grabbed me by my arm and led me across the kitchen to the bathroom. He shut the door. Immediately, he reached around the back of my head and unfastened the blindfolded, removed it, and tossed it on the counter. I had only briefly, vaguely seen Jacob in my peripheral vision when Ethan had taken off my blindfold in the kitchen. At that time, I was barely able to see to see his mouth and his grin. I had no idea what his hair color was, what his body looked like…anything…until this moment. Up until this point he was someone I had smelled, touched and felt inside me but still a somewhat imaginary figure in my brain. The blindfold came off and he was standing right in front of me, smiling, one of his hands resting on my shoulder. He was many ways like Ethan – he had this kindness and compassion that just sort of flowed from his eyes and his smile and his body language. It was what I felt he had been all along, even in the most intense moments of the last many hours of this day. “I’m not supposed to do this, but I’m going to…” and he leaned in and kissed me, and we made out intensely for about a minute before he pulled himself back. “Ethan told you about the punishments and I wanted to show you the reward. You were a champ, J.” It was the first time I had been referred to as something other than Boy. It was the first time I was able to see in a long time. And it felt like true connection – much like I had felt with Ethan, Jacob and Alex from the beginning. But in that moment, it deepened. Not just with Jacob but with Ethan and Alex as well. (NOTE: I don’t recall if I teared up in that moment, but flash forward to writing this, I had tears flowing…) Jacob kept smiling then got down to remove jock, cockring, and ball stretcher. He pulled the harness off over my head. He walked to the shower and turned on the water. “Take your time. We’re just going to chill in the living room for the rest of the night. But you’re back in Boy mode the minute I come back, okay?” He seemed to acknowledge that we had a moment that wasn’t quite in the script. “Yes, sir.” “And don’t worry, Ethan wasn’t kidding, you’ll be seeing this jockstrap again.” He shut the door and I got into the shower. I stood there for a bit and bizarrely wished I had been blindfolded. It was as though seeing everything around me – the walls, the sink, the glass, the toilet – was distracting me from what I was feeling at that moment. Being able to see was actually more disorienting than being blindfolded. It felt like a shift from the last time I had been able to see without the blindfold, where I was still searching for clues and visuals to orient me. Now, I was hoping my vision would be blocked so I could see clearly again. I felt so many things and couldn’t really name it – energized and tired, overwhelmed and calm, horny and serene (my dick was literally throbbing at this point), excited, curious, filled with anticipation… And I felt this other thing…which I would never have expected to have felt…given what had just happened and how it had happened…but I felt loved, appreciated and worthy. And I felt safe. And I felt honored and respected. I finished showering and Jacob came back in almost immediately with some clothes. I was toweling off and he grabbed the towel and wiped down my back. He gave me some loose-fitting pajama pants and a white wifebeater and some socks. “I’m just warning you – you’re gonna have plenty of rest and sleep every day, Boy, but this is probably the most comfortable it will be tonight.” He put some toothpaste and a toothbrush down on the counter. “Brush your teeth, Boy. I’ll wait!” “Yes sir!” He had switched back in to Alpha Dom. I brushed my teeth and he then put a new blindfold on me. It was soft and very comfortable, like a sleeping mask but more “BDSM” flavor. “Time to relax before your bedtime, Boy!” We walked back to the living room and Jacob stopped me directly in front of where Ethan and Alex were standing. I was guessing we were in the couch area. They all gave me shoulder squeezes, rubbed me in various places, softly on my dick. It was so relaxing compared to everything else. “You really did great today, Boy! There’s a lot more to come! Jacob and I are gonna hang here with you here for a bit, Alex has to go home, and then you get a reward tonight for doing so well...you get to sleep on the couch!” I could feel myself relax and getting sleepy already. I wondered, if my reward was sleeping on the couch, then...where else would I sleep? The Cage? “Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir, Alex, sir.” Alex patted me on the head a few times. “Sleep well, you’re gonna need it!” Alex left the house, presumably to go home. Ethan and Jacob guided me to the center of the couch and there was a pillow partially on Jacob’s lap where my head would go, and Ethan grabbed my legs and put them across his. They spread the same blanket over me as earlier. It felt like Jacob and Ethan had similar pajama pants on as well as wifebeaters. It all felt very…calm, casual, cozy, comfortable. Some show started playing on TV, I couldn’t really tell what it was. Jacob was running his fingers through my hair, rubbing my head and occasionally squeezing my earlobe or running his finger around the edge of my ear and lips. Ethan was massaging and squeezing my feet with his identifiable firm touch occasionally, moving his hand all the way up my leg while Jacob moved his hand all the way down to meet Ethan’s. It was completely different than the energy of the past many hours, and yet the connection that I felt two the two of them specifically felt the same. We didn’t talk about the day. It was too fresh and I think everyone was tired. “Good night, Boy!” “Good night, Sir. Good night, sir!” I lay there and fell asleep fast. I don’t remember either of them getting up or leaving the couch or how long they stayed there with me. I slept so deeply and don’t recall the dreams I had that night, but I do remember having very vivid dreams. Day one was over. The next morning... I heard a car door shut out on the street in the front of the house, perhaps in the neighbor’s driveway. I woke up and opened my eyes, only to realize I was still blindfolded. I was a bit dazed, wondering where I was, a bit in disbelief that the last day had happened. I could hear someone in the kitchen and I could smell…something breakfast-like cooking. Toast and sausage maybe? I heard Ethan, “Boy, you can take your blindfold off for a minute. There is water and a note for you to read on the table. Drink the water. And then do what the note says, Boy! Don’t try to look around, I’m watching. Do you understand?” “Yes, sir.” I removed the blindfold, and on the table was a bottle of water, and a piece of paper folded in half. On the outside it said “Boy.” I drank the bottle of water quickly. I’d had one before bed too, but was still thirsty and also really needed to pee. I finished the water, then picked up the note. “Clothes off. Blindfold on. Go to bathroom. Shut door. Blindfold off. Jockstrap on. Inside shower. Boy, down!” There wasn’t a single humanizing word to be found. I did was told, and after stumbling to find my way to the bathroom, shut the door. The jockstrap from yesterday was on the counter. It was still just a little bit damp. I followed directions, got in the shower, got in to position and the door opened and I could already tell it was Ethan and Jacob. “Are you ready for Day 2, Boy?” “I am so fucking ready, sir! Let’s fucking go!”

This is my 1st person account of a set of events and one core event in which I was a primary participant. I think I’ve done a good job at being correct, truthful, and honest, and told the story to the best of my ability in a way that reflects those days in 2010. One week after the core event concluded, Jason (Ethan in the story), Jacob, Alex and I went to dinner to debrief on the experience and make sure we were in a positive space with each other. There was no reason to feel otherwise. We were all happy and hugged as I departed the house at the end of the 6 days. (If you want to know more about the Writing Approach, I've detailed that here.) We had a wonderful dinner. I learned that this all came about because Jason had dated Jacob for a while, who had long ago dated Alex – this is how they one day accidentally came together and started talking about this idea. They were all huge BDSM fans and had the skills, money, and organizing skills to pull off something like this. At the dinner, we all had such amazing smiles on our face, we were laughing, and smiling, they told me some of the things that hadn’t quite gone to their plan – like the piss party on night one which was intended to be invite only but turned in a free-for-all (I didn't know what was supposed to happen one way or the other). Don't worry, The Dominants took care of the situation and things were solved by the next day. I don’t know who said it, but as four intelligent thoughtful introspective gay men sat around a table, someone asked “so, did we learn anything?” I remember responding almost instinctively and saying “I need more time to process that. I learned that when you can’t see, a lot can go on in your head. I built trust with you guys. It’s deeper than that, but I can’t talk about it right now cuz I don’t have the words.” I’m sad I responded that way because I think I mentally shut down thinking about the event ever again in a deeper way, until writing this. I wish I could call Jason, Jacob, and Alex and talk to them so many years later about what they remember, share with them what I’ve written, and reconnect. Sadly, 4 months after that dinner, Jason committed suicide. Underlying the suicide was the tragic and unexpected death of both his mother and father and his untreated depression and other undiagnosed but compounding mental challenges. He was a kind, funny, brilliant, compassionate, multi-faceted confidant sex pig. He knew his kinks and sexuality were outside of the “norm” and he embraced it and showcased it with pride. I didn’t know until after he died that when I went out with him on that date, my friends were all like “this is either gonna be a match made in heaven, or there gonna kill each other with dildos.” I’m gonna go with heaven...but with dildos...but no killing. 🙂 Also sadly, about 2 years after that dinner, Jacob died in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. The day I found this out was the last time I spoke to Alex. He was never a social media person even in those early days, I attempted to find him and have so far not been able to. So, this story will remain mine to tell, and as much as writing this down has given me joy, it reminds me of the loss of three people with whom I share a unique experience of significance in my life. An experience that cannot be duplicated and will never be replaced. For years I have jokingly talked about this experience as a “crazy date” and “the week I got locked in a dog cage” with friends and family. I've talked with gay people and straight people, those within the fringe sex community and those that aren't. Some of my straight friends will say sometimes when referring to a bad experience “at least you didn’t get locked in a dog cage.” In writing this, I recognized how much I had suppressed about the actual experience and how much calling it the "dog cage date" dramatically oversimplified and even disrespected the time that we shared. I think I have some unaddressed trauma over the loss of two of the three people, and the disappearance and disconnection from the third which occurred shortly thereafter. I’m choosing to tell the story and what that experience taught me and do so in a narrative fashion. I am thankful for Jason, Jacob, and Alex for their thoughtfulness creating this experience and including me. For thinking of what we learn about ourselves in every situation, even if it’s a really charged sexual experience. For keeping me safe, giving me the ability to experience things in a different way than I had ever in the past sexually – even if the activity were the exact same. This is for you, appropriately posted on a site called “Breeding Zone” which seems incredibly fitting – on the edge of sexuality, pushing boundaries, having fun, and always making sure the submissive bottom gets “many many many many loads.” Much love. PART 1 HERE