i was molested by my uncle for 4 years. i think it definitely mutated something in my head.
from 10 - 13. there was no penetration until i was about 12.
before this i already knew i was gay and i think he had an idea. he lived with us and my parents were always working. i enjoyed a lot of it at first, didn't know what it was but i knew there was something wrong. it just made me feel good and i liked that. i liked it a lot when he held me, i think it was the body contact. we had a co word for it: "i'm bored" or "are you bored." sometimes i'd go to him, i was young though. i think it's when he actually started going inside me when i didn't enjoy it at all. hurt a lot and sometimes he would lose himself and wouldn't care. he started threatening me around that time as well, it stopped when he moved and i never told anyone but my ex.
i was turned on by a lot of it and growing up during my teens i would jack off repeatedly to him. he and my dad were gym buddies, he had a good face and a nice body. wasn't bad looking. i think in a way i'm really fucked up for admitting to a lot of this but i feel like i can say this type of stuff here. sometimes during sex i want my partner to do the things my uncle did to me, to force themselves on me or grab my neck. i'm sure this came from what he did to me, it made me kinda twisted too. i suffered a lot from it during my late teens, had intimacy issues but i never made myself the victim. not even now. i figured, it happened and you dealt with it and you're alright now regardless of how many screws you're missing so whatever.
he's also the reason i really enjoy sex with older, built men.
i was molested by my uncle for 4 years. i think it definitely mutated something in my head. from 10 - 13. there was no penetration until i was about 12. before this i already knew i was gay and i think he had an idea. he lived with us and my parents were always working. i enjoyed a lot of it at first, didn't know what it was but i knew there was something wrong. it just made me feel good and i liked that. i liked it a lot when he held me, i think it was the body contact. we had a co word for it: "i'm bored" or "are you bored." sometimes i'd go to him, i was young though. i think it's when he actually started going inside me when i didn't enjoy it at all. hurt a lot and sometimes he would lose himself and wouldn't care. he started threatening me around that time as well, it stopped when he moved and i never told anyone but my ex. i was turned on by a lot of it and growing up during my teens i would jack off repeatedly to him. he and my dad were gym buddies, he had a good face and a nice body. wasn't bad looking. i think in a way i'm really fucked up for admitting to a lot of this but i feel like i can say this type of stuff here. sometimes during sex i want my partner to do the things my uncle did to me, to force themselves on me or grab my neck. i'm sure this came from what he did to me, it made me kinda twisted too. i suffered a lot from it during my late teens, had intimacy issues but i never made myself the victim. not even now. i figured, it happened and you dealt with it and you're alright now regardless of how many screws you're missing so whatever. he's also the reason i really enjoy sex with older, built men.