I started taking Prep about three years ago, after which I started having more and more bareback sex. I realized I absolutely love being a cumdump, so I started taking more and more loads. First through the apps, and then cruising parks, and then in darkrooms (Sauna NZ and Club Church in Amsterdam). But about a year and a half ago I got the most painful case of chlamydia I've ever had. I was sick in bed for two weeks, and felt guilty that I'd given it to my partner. Of course I couldn't stay away from the sauna, so over the next few months I got an STD again twice. I've gotten a lot more paranoid since then, but I'm still obsessed with taking loads. How do I reconcile my medical anxiety with my need for sperm? It's reached the point where I can only get over my fears if I take some 3mmc or coke.
