sheogite

It sounds like there are a lot of things playing around in your head, often the more we think about things, the harder it can be for us to sort them out and gain perspective, while I never had any problems with my sexuality or the road it has led me down, I have had it conflict with other aspects of my life, work, friendships, family etc. I would suggest finding a good counsellor to help you identify properly everything that is really conflicting in your life. It shouldn't be too hard to find one who has dealt with these problems before and will not judge your feelings and activities.

It can really help, I managed to pull myself back from a really bad situation with counselling a few years ago (nothing to do with my sexuality, or being a bb poz pig) although all those things were touched upon in my sessions.

Got doubled twice, the first time it was a shock when the second guy got behind me and I seized up straight away, the second time was with a couple I play with and was just a few weeks ago, they broke me up, it was fucking hot, hurt like hell, but that's part of the fun

Still want to be one of the tops fucking another guy, been wanting to try that for ages!

i've had that experience too -- more than once -- and it is totally hot. For this kind of experience ome of the European bars ( Madrid, Berlin, Amsterdam, Ibeza) just cannot be beat.

.......

The last time I was in Amsterdam I got pulled by a leather master (not my usual type, but if I guy is dominant to force me, I will usually submit) and he offered up my hole for the entire dark room to use while fucking me himself, beating me and biting me. I was destroyed. The next night I went out I decided to go the other way and fucked, pissed and fisted every hole I was offered, good times!

As for my own fantasy, usually whatever sordid activity I have been up to lately, will probably spend the next week wanking off thinking about the fisting I took yesterday, and the last few weeks I spent my lonely nights thinking about the orgy I was at the week before (and the double fucking I got!)

Got the clap and Syph once each oh and pozzed, not a bad record since I have been a party and sauna goer on and off since I was 18 (13 years now)

Love getting double fucked, never hurt me and totally a great feeling

I'm a vers guy and have been fisting guys for nearly 8 years, just took my first fist today though, and managed to take four guys hands in total during the day Ass is well and truly worn out now!

I am actually quite picky about my shags, they don't have to be the prettiest guys around, just average looking and sound enough to have a laugh with while your shagging

Practice, I had an ex in a long distance relationship that had difficulty getting fucked by me, and he was so fucking tight it hurt me too... until I bought him a dildo and told him to use it, next time we met, I could tell the difference, it is amazing, his hole was loosened up enough to take a good, hard shafting for ages. By contrast I've never had a top complain I was too tight, been taking cock all my adult life.

18 ~ First shag, it was crap, but I knew there was something right about having no rubber, went through phases of barebacking for years after. Over the years had the good shags and the bad with and without rubbers. I only bb now though, better sensation and connection that way.

I've been going to the BH for years (as a neg and poz guy), never known anyone to fuck there with a rubber. Try the steam rooms or the darkroom on the top floor