JerryGumby

First to give some of my perspective - I've been poz longer than most guys have been alive! - and it remains the least of my problems. Sure didn't start out that way and turning positive un-necessarily ended a flying career in the mlilitary which took me MUCH longer to get over than the hiv. When I was officially diagnosed in '87 - the next words out of my Dr was suggestion to get my affairs in order I had 6-9 months to live. Proved him wrong didn't I. It took some time but I found ways to live with hiv than preparing to die with it! - Still to this day over 27 years later (and probably longer than that) again hiv still remains the least of my problems - health and life wise. Meds were a lot different back then - and side effects made life VERY difficult and about killed me. At one time I was on a combo of like 37 pills a day! - now down to 4-5 with no noticeable side effects. FOR ME -one thing that helped the most was support groups - BUT shop around! - some of them are nothing but woe is me sessions. Then again when I listened to some problems these men were having mine didn't seem like problems at all - gives one great perspective! - Finding a mate was sure a challenge but I lucked out and he remains negative. Part of that was that when we played we played safe but for the last 10-15 we haven't played at all for various reasons and I miss that - he's just my type. But we found ways to deal and pleasantly so. Always nice to have someone to come home to even if it is not sexually. Above all it TAKES TIME - just give it some and seek out ways to LIVE with hiv NOT die from it! - it will get better!

especially love when getting fucked in a sling when there is a mirror above - LOVE looking at the top's dick going in and out of my ass. Mirrors on side front and back help too! Such rhythm one can get going too. Top can slam into the bottom and or the bottom can use his hands on the chains above his head to help ride or milk the top's dick. FUN for fucking and milking machines too - see my vids on Xtube and other places or even google JerryGumby

being poz for over 25-30 years, been undetectable for at least 10-15 - hiv is not my worry - it is all that other stuff that keeps or at least limits me from being the bottom I'd like to be. I so like BB sex - but still limit myself - or when I do partake can't seem to relax enough usually to just enjoy it. I managed to stay STD free for over 25 years at least - and a few years ago during a routine test for some research I volunteer for turned up with syphilis - I was NOT amused - worst of all I could not think of any really fun time I could have gotten it - at least I had wished it would be from a time I really let go - ah well life and LIVING goes on

I like gear (my vids should tell that) - fetish wear, uniforms, rubber, sports gear, anything with "access to the ass" (assess?) but just about any position. I like to be able to see the top- his expressions, his dick going in and out of my hole, His muscles contracting as he gets pleased

I do what ever I can to enhance the top's pleasure of fucking - he has to communicate to me what his wishes are. I have found something fun and new - I use a "milking machine" (A Venus 2000) once I gave the top the speed control and found out that at certain speeds my ass muscles contract to the same rhythm of what the milker is doing to my dick - some of it just the "mechanics" of my dick getting stroked - one can feel the movements within my ass - but also the pleasure of my dick getting constantly stroked makes my ass muscles want to contract - I can override it if I want to ... but only if the top wants me to.

great story man - combining my two favorite things - massage and getting fucked! YUM!

Of all the advice I've offered to couples best I can offer is don't say one thing to each other and do something else behind each other's back. Trust is important. Your sexual interests may be different - sex for most of us is a "recreation" love making is for lovers. Hope things will work out ... COMUNICATE with each other or maybe you should both go your separate ways.

ah the "excitement" the out-of-doors brings on! - ah those were the days!

SO tough to choose - can I just have it both ways! EG

if / when you do go on meds - I've one bit of advice - if you are on them take them as instructed and try and not miss doses - basically either take them as you should or stop taking them all together. Its the missing doses people that get into trouble and gain resistance. Getting use to side effects can take some time -- and DO give them some time but there are so many combinations available now - eventually you will find one that not only works but few side effects. At one time I was taking up to 37 pills a day, 5 meds for hiv, and 2 for side effects that I was suffering from. But the choice seemed to be side effects or death. Eventually I found a 4 drug combination 5 pills a day that not only has kept me undetectable but no noticeable side effects. And there is some good advice in the above posts!

I am partial to the rolled neoprene rubber ones - thick or thin they stretch to get on, long lasting, and COMFORTABLE. not to mention I was the one who invented them and in all the world where ever you see them they ultimately come from our workshop.

I'll add the "strengths" of the Testosterone are 100 mg per ml or 200 mg per ml - The 100 twice a month worked better than the 200 once per month though I DID love the but of energy those first two weeks.

I like to share sexuality is not one way or another - there is all that space in between where most people are - few of us are at extreme end of the gay / straight orientation. And I agree - the physical stimulation is physical stimulation - a hole is a hole as mentioned.

Friends cum machine fucked into and out of me...... was on a camping trip a few weeks ago and brought along the toys.... a milking and fucking machine. Discovered that if the milking machine is on my dick constantly stroking it and I'm getting fucked - I give the speed control to the top - at certain speeds my ass muscles contract to the rythym of my dick getting stroked making my ass a kind of milking machine of its own. We tried this and it didn't take long for him to cum in my ass - but my ass wanted more so we got out the fucking machine. It was SO hot watching the dildo going all the way in my ass and all the way out - I could maybe feel his cum getting fucked deeper into me and could certainly see is oozing out around the dildo especially when its head came all the way out of my ass and went back in again. What was hot too was watching my friend adjust the speed of the fucking - if in a sling ... as I was, my body can rock back and forth - with a bit of practice on the speed of the fucking machine - one could move with the body and the two move together or a quick change and when the body is coming down the dildo is going up - deep and hard! Was SO hot watching my friend control what was going on and seeing his cum ozzing out of me. And the thought that this machine could go on fucking me for hours was hot... almost as hot as his real dick inside of me. EG!

I complained to my hiv dr about low sex drive. Tested my T levels and for several years was at the bottom of "normal" but finally went below and I was perscribed testtosterone suplements. Started with gel but that was a pain as I was swimming several times a day and the stuff should be on your skin for 4-6 hours so I asked if there was another alternative. Injections - started with 200 units once a month but by the 3-4 week I really began to get depressed. Changed to 100 units twice a month and I was finally allowed to give myself injections - first one was in the top of my theigh - that was sore for a week - butt shots barely notice and I do also alternate cheeks each injection. A bit acquaward at first doing my own injections but I've gotten over that farily quick. I must say suplementing certainly helped with my libdo but more than that did more for depression than any anti-depressant did. And yes morning wood again, libido, more energy - Suplementing certainly has given me a sex drive again. There was a year there before supplementing that I didn't even so much as jack off for months. Changed my life in a very positive way -

WAY back in the early 80's , my college days, I lived in a big house in Denver, Colorado with a number of housemates all gay. We lived but a few blocks from a really great bathhouse - the Ball Park in Denver. The bath house actually had a good gym and me and the roomates would work out there often. One of my roomates was a gymnist - REALLY hot muscular body, thick dick that throbbed when he came. After a long work out we walked around - he found me watching a few guys fucking in one of the public rooms. He came up behind me, pulled my gym shorts down and fucked me with jock strap still on. I flet his thick dick throb and the great moan he makes when he cums. But I was just getting warmed up. So I laid down on the floor still watching the other guys fucking and jacking off. Before I knew it 3 guys came up and fucked me on the floor - when the 3rd guy came in me - (4 total)- I finally did and it was an incredibly memorable one! And appreciation came from the "audience" that gathered. - AH those were the days!

For me -the worst thing about turning poz was, in my opinon, its unnecessary end of my military flying career. As soon as I turned up poz when the military started testing EVERYONE in the late 80's I was immediately grounded and spent the next 5 years at a desk job fighting the system to change this... I was perfectly healthy and no "medical" reason for me not to be flying. Many additonal tests showed no problems but bottom line it was not a medical decision it was a political one and I was not going to win. After fighting for 5 years I got so depressed from the roller coaster ride I was finally medically retired..... and moved on to other things. i have yet to have a single direct problem related to hiv - though my T cells and viral load numbers were certainly going in the wrong direction. Side effects from meds were another story. At one time I was on 37 pills a day but the choice seemed to be side effects or death and I chose to live! - now a days I'm on 4 meds, 4-5 pills a day and no noticable side effects, been undetectable for 10-15 years. Took me 10 years to get over the depression but now think its old age that's going to get me. I've most always played very safe -but have made the decision to BB - mostly to make up for the lack of intimacy which I miss VERY MUCH. I read many posts on here and try to wrap my head around truely being comfortable with having intimate sex again but it is not easy. I feel it is not HIV I fear anymore its all the other stuff. Do I just want to have some fun before I pass on or not and maybe pass on a lot later but more lonely and unfulfilled (in more ways than one). BB sex is a great fantasy for me but each time I actually do it there always seems to be some regret or guilt I deal with for months after. I love the acts of sex but miss the acts of love - maybe I'm a romatic but I do. I think the anxioty of worrying about converting is over but there is a lot of other stuff to deal with. Do I wish it didn't happen? honestly not sure. I just do my best to live with it not die from it. Life and learning continues.

I differenciate between "having sex" and making love. I seem to be able to only make love to one man at a time.... but I could sure use more sex than he's able to provide. Sex, from my perspective is more like a recreation - going to a movie, watching a sports game and such. I have a monognomous love for one man - maybe more accurately a commitment to be there for him - not maybe that night or even that week but sooner or later I will always be there for him - worked for us for over 24 years. For much of my young life I don't think monogomy was even in my dictionary - it may be there now but I've not looked it up yet. My best advice is DO NOT say one thing to each other and do something different behind each other's back.

My experience with meds has generally good. I suffered through some really bad side effects - but at the time the choice seemed to be side effects or death - I choose the side effects. Eventually I found a combination that not only works but few if any noticable side effects. No doubt without them I'd not be here - been poz since at least '87. The one advice I'd give for those considering meds - choose to either do them as directed without missing doses or don't do them at all - its that mid ground that seems to get most into trouble.

I've been "officially" positive for over 25 years - suspect I was infected many years sooner - I didn't come out until I was 21 but I made up for some lost time and that was back in the late '70's before we knew about HIV. To this day HIV has been the least of my health problems but make no mistake had the new meds not come out in the mid '90's most likely I'd not be here! - However - the side effects of some combinations I've been on were brutal - diarrhea, colesterol in the 400's!, neropathy, fatique , Sustiva Dreams/hangover - but the good news is working with my Dr's I eventually found a combination that not only works but has kept me undetectable for like the last 15 years or more. As I've considered barebacking relatively recently - HIV is the least of my concerns its all the other STD's that make it difficult for me to "let go" and enjoy it... but still I want to. BB porn is about the ONLY thing that does it for me now a days. Glad to have the conversion long behing me but I am still coming to terms with being able to really enjoy it as I'd like. Being retired military still gives me health benefits including medication of which I am so grateful - making up for the unnecessary shorting of my flying career ... but my life whet on and I'm trying to enjoy it to the fullest.... not the least of which is SEX!!

bet you've never seen an "impalement" vid like this one - suspended and just riding a big dick and LOVE the feeling when he cums in my ass and it drips out

http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=DrVwA-G665-

A number of years ago I did a mid winter train ride up to Chicago from St Louis with the plan of just relaxing at one Steamworks or MC. One little fact steamworks web site didn't seem to mention is that you can ONLY renew one time - total of 16 hours, leave for 8 then come back. And it wasn't until I went to renew with only 5 minutes of my second 8 hours left - screwed up my whole trip. I certainly would have planned around this had I known. First time I had ever wanted or desired to stay that long in a bathhouse. Just be aware!

I've visited this campground a number of times. Found the guys that stay there very friendly and welcoming. However its always been off season, not many around but the facilities, owners, and "seasonals" I've met there were very nice. As far as to play there - not visited enough times to answer that one.