In fact, as I write I realise that, firstly, this is the first time I admit that I WAS RAPED TERRIBLY, RUTHLESSLY, no lube, no mercy. Secondly, this is why I am a moral-less rapist mself.
My asaulting abuser was hard as a rock, raw, pierced, poz,.. i was handcuffed and very, deeply unwiling. I was not in consent of any single moment of the encounter once I was taken and he started using me ... Of course, it goes without saying that I very much wanted his diseased seed... but not him or his desired method of impregnation..... I despised, hated, feared and loathed every second of it: Screaming no, being slapped around, told to shut the fuck up and torn asunder until destroyed.
Afterward I was truly greatful and horny as a beast for literally weeks. For a time I contemplated suicide. I a actually thankful for these thoughts, but also thankful that they diminished. I gained a grewt perspective on life, on sex, on bareback and on AIDS et al by staring death in the face an embracing pasionately and lustfully the corrupt, destructive facts of nature, especially human nature.
I now subject myself very often to the most filthy, unspeakable and revolting fetishes and abuse: real time sexual (and other physical) encounters, totally void of any slef respect. A truly BEAUTIFUL AND ATRFUL RAPE is devoid of any respect neither party can have any sef respect and neither rapist nor victim could possibly hold any respect for the other, certainly not after the horror or rape.
This lack of respect is tantamount to the ethical void from which rape emerges: a depraved void that is it in turn, often, creates in its deserving victim. A rapist (specifically a barebqck rapist) is deemed righteous simply by choosing to rape, a rightousness that exponentially increases if he is diseased and or poz, especialy viral, as this increases his damge and decreases the respect of himself and the victim. Similarly a victim is deserving of rape purely by the virtue of being abvailable and vulenerable to the sordid abuse of the rapist.
I am very happy about these facts all. ... I've suffered many tragedies in life but none as physically, emotionally and mentally destructive and irreversible as the act of being taken in rape. In spite of this, and i some sick twisted way, BECAUSE of this., I utterly condone you and refain from any immediate judgement if your desire is to rape. I hope i is something you can/will feel open to discuss the practice of often.
Welcome are your replies, especially condoning my attitude, dispespecting or even hating me. Hate me and disrespect me so I may keep my self respect as low as possible and my vulnerability as high as possible to degrade myselr embarqssingly, leaving myselr open to the utterly beautiful horror or rape.
With disrespect, Cunt4loads
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