bigdick4you

1 hour ago, mjkuhl said:

There are guys who would beg for the syph cock

That’s disgusting and disturbing really....

I just found out my initial values were 1.28 and after 3 months I’m at 1.16. So don’t know if one shot of penicillin was enough. Sent information off to my dr. Waiting for response...

Tested positive for syphilis back in February and got treatment straight away. They gave me one shot. Went back recently to check my VDRL levels and it was 1.16. The problem is that I got my test in Europe and the doctor there didn’t mention my start levels so I have no idea if it’s going down or not. My doctor here in US said that she would keep me monitored to c if my levels r going down or not. Next follow up is in 6 months. Last time I had syphilis was like 20 years ago. My doctor told me it could be an old infection flaring up again and not necessarily a new infection. I asked the doctor if I was still infectious and she told me I wasn’t I I had received treatment. The problem is that I’m kind of confused by all of this now and worried about having sex again as I don’t want to infect everyone and surely don’t want to be reinfected! Anyone any experience with this? I had some spots on my chest when I was diagnosed which disappeared after bit more than a month.

I have heard u r no longer contagious after 2 weeks of getting a shot. 

That sounds good phukhole!

I used to whore out guys on regular basis in the past. I always had more than one cumdump. Normally 2 but if there were big events in town 3. Always be very careful who u pick...some guys r great cumdumps and others r not. If u r picky I don't want u in my stable. When I used to recruit new cumdumps I always asked them why they would think they would be good cumdumps for my party. Also important is that they will be able to share tops with other cumdumps. If u have the policy of wanting to be the only cumdump im not interested...it's also stupid because offering 2 cumdumps attracts far more tops.At my party's I always liked to have a relaxed easy going energy. So no watchers and people had to play well with eachother in sharing the cumdumps.

Last time I had syphilis was like 20 years ago and after that it always came back negative until recently. I have heard that once u have had syphilis traces will always show up. But in very small amounts so they know it's not active and comes back negative. 

Was recently tested for syphilis and it came back positive which was surprising as I had taken test like 3 months earlier and it came back negative. Anyway had a shot like 11 days ago and I still have like red spots on parts of my body. They have faded but r still there. Is this normal after 11 days or does it mean I still have it? any thoughts?

Think u def. made right decision to go...keep us posted how u got on. Think that 4/5 tops to 1 bottom is about the right ratio. That's why I'm not a big fan of gangbangs with just  1 bottom. Too much of a wait at times. I also like to go from hole to hole to decide who gets my load. Think this is true for most tops! Have fun!

I would say do it...people will be there to fuck and if u r one of few bottoms it will mean u will get used quite a bit. Men r not going to stick to one hole the entire weekend. Unless u have trouble getting fucked I would do it.the idea that the bottoms r available 24/7 is also a huge turn on for me as a top.i would not think too much about it and just do it. The thing is that u will be seen as ahole to fuck and breed when tops want to unload. The only thing that puts me off is the drug use situation....I never do drugs besides poppers.

On 8/23/2017 at 1:37 AM, Rawdawg13 said:

How the hell are you?  I just realized who you were!  Have things gotten better??

Im good but I have been away for work for 2 weeks now. But before I left all is the same

On 8/17/2017 at 11:09 AM, Rawdawg13 said:

@drscorpio-- Is that a challenge where you live??

@xxww--  On my partner and I's first date he told me that he had NEVER not eventually cheated on past BFs.  On our one year anniversary he said "Wow, I've never gone a whole year without cheating,  it must be love!"  On our second anniversary he didn't say shit... so I knew!  So from day one we always knew that eventually we would open it up.  (BTW, I highly recommend reading all the Dan Savage you can.  He is a sex advice columnist, author, gay right activist, genius, etc...I owe a lot of my own personal and relationship happiness to Dan.)  I just don't believe in monogamy.  I mean I believe it exists...it not Big Foot or the Loch Ness monster!  I just believe that we as mammals, and don't forget that we are nothing more than animals with car keys, are not programmed for monogamy.  Its in our DNA.  In the entire animal kingdom I think there are only three or four species scattered through out the entire clave of life forms that practice monogamy.  

Also, on the subject of rules..and everyone is different and must do what works for them.  Most couples have rules by which they live.  This is what works for us.  The rules are...we have no rules!  For us when you start setting perimeters like, "Catholics are fine but not during lent on Fridays,  and only with people whose name starts with S and ends with Q, and never a vegetarian unless they eat fish, etc..." that when things become dicey.  That when it becomes easy to fuck up and accidentally hurt someones feelings and not even mean to for no good reason.  There are one or two things that we live by and its not rules as much as it is just the way we live.  Like no romance with our fuck buddies.  Neither of us is looking for anything other than dick anyway and that just keeps it neat and clean.   And lots of communication.  Just keep talking and communicating.  And thats it.  Those are our...not rules...commandments??  No, that totally doesn't sound right.  Beliefs.  Those are our beliefs.

I can't even explain to you how much closer its brought us.  And our interpersonal sex life is through the roof and off the chain!  I get a hard just listening about an encounter he had.  Hell, I get a hard on watching him have an encounter.   And vise versa.  I guess its not for everyone but mark my words and I'll sign it...eventually someone will stray.  My aunt and uncle married for 48 years were always my go-to example that people can have long term relationships.  Last year we found out my Uncle has been cheating for years.  So yes--eventually someone will stray.  Its literally in our genes (and jeans!) to spread seed.

U make some valid points...I don believe in monogamy either. It works for very few people. Nothing is hotter for me than seeing my partner used or seeing him use other guys.i don't believe in rules but in certain commandments if u like: no sex with friends or going out on dates with FBs. 

Because it's not in most men's DNA to be faithful...the passion might go but that doesn't mean u don't love each other anymore...for me it's a turn on seeing my man get used by other men while I know he will be sleeping in my bed afterwards. U will only worry about him leaving u for somebody else if u have insecurity issues...u also need good basic rules...what is allowed and what is not...me and my husband used to pay together and separately before he went frigid...i used to have other men use him or he or me would hook up with others separately . There needs to be a certain amount of trust though...one of my rules would be we don't hook up with friends or go on dates...now the fun is pretty much gone...for over a year I haven't had sex with him as he went total cold on me and calls me pushy and insensitive...I still have sex with others as I'm a guy with an healthy sexual appetite. I love my husband so I stay with him .

7 hours ago, punaman said:

time for you to pack up and move out. Back to whatever country you came from. He doesn't love you, want you or need you.  Cut your losses and find someone who wants your hot sexy body and enjoy life again.  You don't deserve this treatment, nobody does.

I'm European but do have the necessary papers to reside in the country. But u r right if I wasn't married to him I would reside somewhere sunny in Europe. I don't need him for anything except for his affection. In fact I make most of the money and have decent paycheck so I don't depend on him. In fact it's the other way around. Not that it matters ...not to me anyway...maybe I should be that way.... isn't there a saying "treat them mean keeps them keen"

8 hours ago, NLbear said:

What he says doesn't make any sense. I could understand if he said he wasn't feeling like having sex at all at the moment. But if he says he's going to have sex with others but not with you that sounds to me like he wants to punish you for some reason. It's abuse. Not physical, but abuse all the same. He's playing you, like how far he can go before you snap. Is he in a power position because you moved to his country for him and you depend on him to be allowed to stay in the country? What happens with you should you two divorce?

From what you are saying I see the makings of a break-up. And legally he doesn't want to be the 'guilty' party for whatever reason.

The other day he said said first he was not having sex with others so he doesn't have to go through drama with me...I reminded him that we were in open relationship and that he could have sex with others as I'm doing it too when I'm away on work trips but I told him that it wouldn't make sense him having sex with others if he doesn't have sex with me. He got angry and told me then that if he was going to have sex with others he wouldn't tell me to avoid issues. I'm European but have legal papers through my work to work & reside where I am. I am very blessed that I work for good company and make decent money. In fact I make much more than he does. Not that it matters as that's not how I am wired. I'm not the type to say I make most money and am a top and u spread ur hole for me now...but it's frustrating...that somehow I always end up feeling guilty when I have sex outside the relationship.yesterday I met a cot of town couple that were having a sex party. I was supposed to attend but I told my husband where I was going and his reaction was like r u serious!? I did say in the past that I would only hook up with guys when I'm away for work just to avoid running into them where I live. I told him they were out of towers and that it shouldn't matter. He asked me it was ok for him to do the same. I said of course! Anyway I ended up not going to not upset him.

I have few FBs who's cunt r like milking machines! Very powerful indeed....

On 7/16/2017 at 10:02 PM, Rawdawg13 said:

OMG...@nlbear, i was just thinking about them this morning.  I hate feeling like a nosy busy body but for some reason his story just strikes a chord inside me.  I did spend many years not just in highly codependednt relationships, I actively sought them out without realizing it.  I guess I just recognize myself in his story.  Hey @ bigdick, i hope all is well.....just know that you're never going to wake up to a different person.  The person you idealize him to be in your mind is just that, in your mind.  That person will never be the man you live with and married, not without professional help.  I hope you've made progress...and I'm not kidding about Dan Savage...reading Dan will at least pass the time so you're not dwelling on the whole situation. 

On 7/19/2017 at 5:23 AM, drscorpio said:

Good for you!

The other day he was messaging and I asked who he was messaging. It happened to be a straight friend...I hate being like that controlling. But he has made me so insecure by refusing sex that I get like that! He was quick to say I was mistrusting and that it shouldn't matter as we have open relationship...I told him that was true but as long as he doesn't have sex with me he shouldn't have sex with others...he quickly said that I was having sex with others and I said yes I am but I tell u about it and I still want sex with u....he quickly went on that I hid things from him which is not true! He said he probably could not have sex with me again due to the way I behaved!? I told him that he refused to acknowledge the problem and put all the blame on me...he told me that he was going to have sex with others and not tell me about it due to the drama I created!? And I'm like excuse me...u always find a excuse to not be intimate with me for over a year and I'm over reacting!? I just refuse to put up with this bs anymore! I moved for him to a new continent to be treated like this? I don't think so! It just infuriates me and tonight I couldn't even talk to him...the way things stand there is nothing to talk about either!

On 7/17/2017 at 7:43 AM, Bbikercub said:

Have you guys considered relationship counselling together?

or rather a sex counsellor? It sounds like the relationship isn't necessarily the problem, you do things together it's the sex that needs the help.

also something to ask yourself: do you really need the sex with him? There are many gay guys who are together but have sex with others.

I am demanding that we do counseling together. In the meantime fucking with others

On 7/17/2017 at 5:46 AM, NLbear said:

Has anything changed since the last post here and are you any closer to finding out why he behaves like this?

No change...I'm still fucking around and no sex with my own man...it's coming to the point that I simply don't even want to have sex with him

7 hours ago, Rawdawg13 said:

I've been thinking about you and him a lot lately, and why I don't know...I don't know you.  Its just so heartbreaking and fucked up and sad.  I feel bad for you and on some level him too.  Forget love for a second.  Store that out of the way on a high self.   We all know it takes more then just love to make a happy relationship.  Lord knows we've all ended relationships that were't running short on love, but lacked other ingredients.  I'm talking about something much more simple...care.  When you care about someone, you don't make them feel like you feel.  Actually, you try to do the opposite.  You do things to inspire good feelings.  You don't answer their basic human needs by calling them a pervert AND sending them to a shrink.  My partner and I opened our 8 year relationship almost a year ago.  I would have laughed in your face when I was younger if you told me I would one day be in an open relationship (and again 'thank you', Dan Savage!!).... and we are sluts, ok!  But OUR sex life did not end.  We fuck like rabbits now.  I didn't realize how boring we were!  At one point you said you didn't care if he was sleeping with other people and I thought "Fuck that, we may be open but if mama aint getting it, aint nobody getting it!"  This is what I find the most striking...throughout your writings I never once got a sense of anger.  If you had not stated in the title that you were angry, I would never had known.  I find that very telling and guess what...I'll tell you why.  I'll bet you a $10 doughnut that you have a typical type A personality...you are a mover and a shaker and a go getter'.  You are also very quick to push things like anger under a run or up on a shelf (and don't set it close the love, it turns it into bad moonshine.) and you shelve it, and you shelve it, and you shelve it.  My point is it's not worth fucking mental abuse to one day get crushed by your own badly stored and shitty shelved anger.  It sounds like his shelf already fell...only his fell on you both.  And god only knows what the fuck that was stored on his shelf!!  Just take care of yourself first and stop taking care of him, trust me he's not returning the favor.   And go talk to someone, albeit not for sexual addiction...but recovery from this asshole.  Its called codependency and its more common than sexual addiction, and just for the record, going a whole fucking year without sex makes you Amish, not a pervert!  Take care my friend. 

The whole thing is just strange...I met him 5 years ago when he was a cumdump. I used to share him with other tops and he loved it. To be honest he has had a tough life taking care of his elderly parents. Almost 3 years ago now we decided to finally move in together as our long distance was not working.. he is loving and caring for most part outside of bed. He does have a mean streak at times . He tends to blame everything on me. He sees when I'm being an asshole but he doesn't c it when he is being an asshole. I know that in the past he has had an history with drugs. I know this helps him to liberate him sexually.we would have weekends where we would whore out other bottoms and sometimes he would be whored out too. But afterwards he always showed remorse...like he was ashamed of what he did. When he told me he wanted to explore his top side I told him we could use other bottoms together. But he kind of never really wanted this as he felt somewhat insecure as a top.im pretty easy going guy for most part and generous...my money is his money. A bit over a year ago he was supposed to pick me up from airport and he asked me to take a taxi as he had few guys over the night before and had done drugs. When I arrived home I told him it was not ok for us to not have sex while he was having sex with others. He agreed and we had sex. I hoped we would be back to our old ways but he wanted none of it. He is quite sincere in the relationship and as far as I know he doesn't lie about hooking up with others. I check his profile on several websites and there is no action. Unless he uses an other profile on those sites.i hate to check on my partner like that but I had to know if he had a double life. So far I haven't found anything.... but other profiles r quickly made and email accounts r quickly started. I have plenty of sex outside my relationship but I would like to be able to have sex with him like a normal couple. Going back to therapy to give this a place and learn how to deal with it. My old therapist told me he was a bully and a control freak and that he simply was manipulating me and probably cheating.

10 hours ago, NLbear said:

Remarks about your marriage sound strange. You said you haven't had sex for more than a year but you two got married only 7 months ago? Something else is bothering him. Maybe he has second thoughts about being married (he should have thought about that upfront considering you are together for a few years)? Maybe he no longer wants to bottom and now finds himself trapped in a relationship with another top? Although there are lots of top couples who make it work.

10 hours ago, NLbear said:

Remarks about your marriage sound strange. You said you haven't had sex for more than a year but you two got married only 7 months ago? Something else is bothering him. Maybe he has second thoughts about being married (he should have thought about that upfront considering you are together for a few years)? Maybe he no longer wants to bottom and now finds himself trapped in a relationship with another top? Although there are lots of top couples who make it work.

I have known him for over 5 years now...I haven't had sex with him for over a year now yes. I sleep with others as we have open relationship. I keep these strictly sexually as I'm in a relationship. I don't even hook up in same city as where we live out of respect for him. He can be very loving outside  but at times he has a mean streak. But what bothers me is the sexual part. He is 99% bottom ...he has expressed wanting to fuck me but for over 15 years I have been a strict top. 

I'm sure it's all in his head...as when he takes drugs occasionally he becomes a hungry bottom. The thing is that I don't do drugs in any shape or form! Yesterday I was bit of abrupt to him and he exploded. He starting talking about our marriage and how I was like an angry old woman. I wanted to say u make me this way but I kept quiet. He also said how do u expect me to have sex with u like this....it sounded like an excuse....the truth is that I'm becoming numb to it. I take responsibility for some of it but not for the sex part. It's like he holds the sex part hostage and that is not ok.

U need to have serious talk with ur bf. Open relationship is fine but lying about hooking up is never ok! Trying to get even is not right either...two wrongs don't make one right.

8 hours ago, PERVERSATILE said:

If you can't find an obvious reason for your partner's  behavior, start be eliminating possibilities in order  to focus on the actual cause, I'd personally recommend having his Doctor check his thyroid and blood sugar levels, diabetes can be hell on a mans libido. 

6 hours ago, punaman said:

your husband needs to go to a doctor and get a complete and thorough check up and tell the doctor why he's there-no sex drive at all.  It's not normal and it could be physical, possibly easily cured.  If results come back that there is nothing physical wrong with him, then it's a mental problem and you have to decide what to do. Stay or leave. It's not fair to you to be married to someone who can not be intimate with you.  Is he HIV poz also?  If not, maybe he's having second thoughts about being with a poz man.  Have you tried monogamy?  Maybe that's what he wants.  Just thinking out loud.
Good luck.
 

There is nothing wrong wit him physically...it's in his head...he jerks off to porn when I'm not around...I would be able to be in monogamous relationship if that was what is bothering him. I know it's not as I have talked to him about it. I'm pot and he is negative but this was never an issue as he has been taking loads since his early teens from pot men and he doesn't care. He is 40 now.

7 hours ago, Rawdawg13 said:

    After waffling over how to reply for OVER AN HOUR I'm still at a lost at what to say.   I think everything you need to know is in the title of your thread.   Yes, this IS the reason you are always angry....as well you should be.  And since he has put all blame in your court (ie- you go seek help, you have a problem not me...)...you probably should be more angry.    That would be normal.   I don't even know yall and my blood pressure went up.   You don't care if he is having outside sex, open relationship or not?  I think you should.   I think you do.  Yall aren't dating my friend, you're married.  Unless you have a different arrangement, there is a certain level of intimacy thats to be expected.   I'm not your therapist, nor did you ask me to be, hell I'm not even A therapist!  But your partner sounds like an emotional abuser.  He has made you to feel responsible for his happiness.  Thats not healthy.  Anyone who makes you feel like a 'pervert' for wanting sex for a whole year is not just abusive, they are the one who needs therapy.  I'm sorry to have to say that, but I'm right.   

    Let me jump tracks because unless there is a huge piece of the puzzle I'm not aware of--I'm in over my head.  Do you know who Dan Savage is?  He is an American sex advice columnist, author,  and gay rights advocate.  I owe my life to this man.  When my partner and I started dating I found one of Dan's books on my partner's book shelf.  It was "Skipping Towards Gomorrah".  I devoured it.  I have since read all of his books.  My partner and I read his column all the time and play our own game of "What Will Dan Say".  After a while you get pretty good at it.  He just has this way of viewing the reality of relationships, of sexuality, ney...of being human.   (I would love to see what Dan had to say about your post.)  He is the reason I'm able to be in a happy, healthy OPEN relationship today.  No matter what happens with you and your partner, I highly recommend anything Dan Savage to get you started with you and anything related to your future.

He has a big jar of lube on his side of the bed that he uses to jerk off. I have a couple of times said to him to jerk off to porn together but he said no. I have asked him if he had slept with others and he said no. He told me he would have told me if he was. We have open relationship...I tell him when I hook up with others but for a while now he doesn't want to know when I hook up with others. A few months back I took a Uber ride to go fuck someone and he asked me if I had taken Uber ....I told him yes and the reason. His reaction was just ok I c.he has said in the past that he has trouble getting fucked lately...I told him that we didn't have to fuck...he doesn't suck me off either. I know he prefers cut and im uncut. I know that in a group session he will suck off my dick and other guys dicks, but when we were just the 2 of us he wouldn't do it. When I massage him as he enjoys being touched...I go to his butt he asks me to stop. It just makes me so angry! Like im some pervert or something! I don't talk about it to good friends as I'm afraid to people's reaction and embarrassed to be honest.he is loving and caring outside the bedroom. If u c us together u wouldn't suspect this was going on.its just frustrating! Deep down I know it's a type of abuse. I have heard about Dan...never read anything though...I don't mind him sleeping with others as long as I know about it. I just know that something better change! I told him to get therapy the other day. And he told me I was the one needing therapy.