Feeder Posted November 28, 2012 Report Posted November 28, 2012 Click here to see Life In The Raw's original blog post... A few months ago, I was In SF for a weekend, and was going to see a friend of mine. Well, he was sick that weekend, so timing sucked, and we couldn't hang out. Turns out that he "trusted the wrong guy" and my friend was infected. He has since become very well adjusted to it, in part from support from family and friends. It did make me reflect on a lot... things I had done in the past, that infamous action where I lied to and bred that neg guy a few months after I had converted (he wasn't infected) I have made a... well, not sure effort is the word, because I have found it has been very easy for me, but i guess I will say an effort, to be 110% open and honest about my status, in fact, I am usually the one who brings it up. However, there was some backlash. Neg guys who felt that I shouldn't even be on hookup sites and apps like adam4adam, scruff, et all. Not sure how the phrase "I wont hook up with you became I am poz and you are neg" translated into "I log on to spread AIDS" but, it is what it is. For the most part, I usually get "Thank you for your honesty" or something to that effect, but yeah, every once in a while I did receive a "Log off and delete your fucking profile you walking STD" Neg guys are not well versed in being rational. If a guy is declaring his status openly, and seeking out people of the same status, just how is he seeking to infect or harm you. Anyway, long story short, I am only on BBRT now, where being poz is the norm. No more deceit, no more grey areas. It is my choice, and one that works for me. I do think about the guys on BBRT though the neg for neg only guys. I am not offended by Neg UB2, I think more about how guys like this are a stealther's wet dream, anyone can print out a document and have it say that they are neg. Anyone can say that recently got tested... ...knowing that guys out there will say and do whatever it takes to get a load in you, the BBRT Neg4Neg only crowd would do better to exercise a bit of caution, and no, taking a man on his word is not a bit of caution. It is every man for himself after all. -If you practice reduced-risk sex, bring your own condoms and lube, don't count on the other guy. Condoms can be purposely damaged/tampered with, or they can use a condom unsafe lube. -If a guy says he prefers bareback and you don't, cut your losses, you aren't compatible, better that than him slipping off that condom and you not knowing. It is up to you to protect yourself, not for a random trick to do it for you. More...
chaser Posted November 29, 2012 Report Posted November 29, 2012 Great piece of advice and well said, it comes down to being responsible for ourselves.
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