How soon will it be until I start taking loads?

[Bbikercub]

I bareback with my partner at the moment (top only), but I keep reading on here and really can't stop thinking about taking and giving raw loads!

Feel like my sex life would be better if I could fuck raw. I really want to feel guys unload in my hole.

Is this the last phase before I give in to the urge and take raw cock?

[Guest Deviant_Angel]

There is a natural progression towards barebacking, and once one starts I don't know anybody who has been able to go back to using condoms short of immanent threat of death, which hasn't been the case in a long time. I assume your partner and you have an open relationship? Every relationship is different, but before diving off into taking loads from guys, make sure you've clearly had this talk about your desires with him and that he's cool with it too - messy holes are fun, but messy relationships are not.

[Bbikercub]

Yeah, we're open. Problem is he has a 4 year old daughter and I would never put him at risk, not for him but especially for her.

Our sex life is getting worse and I'm just not getting much from him anymore. When I play with friends they always play raw and I have to e safe.

[bb1991]

I think you need to look and think about things in the cold light of day.

How big a part of your life is sex? -If it's not the main part and focus of your life, don't even think about barebacking.

If you bareback you will catch things and not just HIV. Yes it is possible to "survive" and some live to a normal age, but these infections are not pleasant and will impact every aspect of your life. Even the "lesser" things aren't nice- Gonorrhoea hurts like fuck. Then there's regular doctors check ups or trips to be tested. Daily tablets and the side effects that come with them (One I found out recently- can be very sensitive to milk when your on HIV meds, so even your morning cup of coffee is affected). Time lost off work for appointments and illness; and the trouble finding work when you've had lots of time off sick with prior employers. Having to avoid even things like the common cold for fear or complications. It's not the easy plain-sailing it can appear.

Sometimes I think people on sites like this just portray HIV as something you get that does nothing and has no effects or consequences.

Then there's the stigma that's still attached to it, even within the gay community. The amount of guys that won't go anywhere near you, condoms or not. And there are times you feel like you'll never find a relationship or someone to love you because you've narrowed the field and most guys wont come anywhere near.

If you do find a guy that's neg and whos willing to try a relationship (or even just fuck), there's the constant fear of infecting them too. which can break a relationship before it has time to get going properly.

I don't want to be the one putting the downer on everything but beyond all the fantasy and glorification that websites like this affords us, we can't overlook the reality.

In the cold light of day you need to look and examine your life. Consider if the lifestyle you crave is worth the consequences. Walk a day in your life and think of how your day to day life would be with those consequences. What problems might it cause and whether you think it's worth it.

Only you can weigh up the pros and cons and make the decision yourself, but don't get swept along with the fantasy and go in ignorant. Too many do and regret it.

[Guest Deviant_Angel]

Good points too bb1991 - for everyone considering going bb you should always weigh the possible risks & consequences to other things you value in life, just like you have to in many aspects in life. Bbikercub just has the added consideration of having a bf and others when weighing those risks, and believe me, DO NOT not involve your partner in such matters in an open and frank way because if you bb on the side, he will eventually find out because eventually an STD is inevitable, and having him find out that way is not the way to go. Even if you don't see any value in your relationship at this point, let him go first, as dignified as possible.

[michinnc]

What if the Master you are with has HIV and you don't?

[straycowboy]

That's still an issue you have to work out. Are you willing to risk catching the hiv on the chance you will stay together, and if you do catch it, what are your options health, and cost wise.

[michinnc]

straycowboy,

i am willing.......i want to be together with Him. i have been thinking about it and think there is no risk really. If He breeds me then it just gives me what turns me on so much all the time. To be together with Him.

i don't mean to get weird or strange.....i have not really been able to talk about my feelings much and i hope i can express things here and not be thought as awful.

[straycowboy]

straycowboy,

i am willing.......i want to be together with Him. i have been thinking about it and think there is no risk really. If He breeds me then it just gives me what turns me on so much all the time. To be together with Him.

i don't mean to get weird or strange.....i have not really been able to talk about my feelings much and i hope i can express things here and not be thought as awful.

No this is not awful, you want to be with him so much, you'd be ok with being pozed by him if it happened. You've thought about the issues, and you know those feelings are real. I am actually envious, this sound like love. And love is one of those confusing emotional things that can never be strange. I just hope he feels the same kind of bond with you, and that you remain together for the rest if your lives. I've known many couples, gay, and straight that have lasted a lifetime. It makes me happy to see such relationships last. I would think everyone wants that, and some search for it , and never find it, or lose it,. I wish everyone could find such a relationship. Its unfortunate, I can't grant my own wishes. LOL

[michinnc]

No this is not awful, you want to be with him so much, you'd be ok with being pozed by him if it happened. You've thought about the issues, and you know those feelings are real. I am actually envious, this sound like love. And love is one of those confusing emotional things that can never be strange. I just hope he feels the same kind of bond with you, and that you remain together for the rest if your lives. I've known many couples, gay, and straight that have lasted a lifetime. It makes me happy to see such relationships last. I would think everyone wants that, and some search for it , and never find it, or lose it,. I wish everyone could find such a relationship. Its unfortunate, I can't grant my own wishes. LOL

First off...thanks for replying strawcowboy! means alot to be understood by someone that does.

Since meeting Him i have had to question many things......i have never as happy as i do since meeting Him. I know He wants the same bond with me and wants me to be His. i know i am lucky.

i am also glad that the way i feel is ok and not something weird.

Thanks Bunches!

[bb1991]

But how many guys fall head over heals for someone and have ended up with it all falling apart.

I'm not saying that would happen to you,, but I think you need to look at the HIV issue away from the context of your relationship. You need to educate yourself on the cold hard realities of living with HIV and think about whether you're going to be happy living with those consequences if the relationship didn't work out.

If you have doubts it might be better to have safe sex concentrate on letting the relationship develop first; its easier to have a clearer head after the "honeymoon" period is over.