No boundaries when open relationship?

[bigdick4you]

Been dating this guy for few months now.... After few days dating him he posted on Facebook that we were in open relationship.... Found it weird but was fine with it as I liked him a lot as well. I think when u r in open relation ship there should be boundaries and rules.... He doesn't....I prefer my contacts with others to be more on a one time off kind of basis and he believes in having FBs.... The truth is that after having sex with a guy a couple of times, I kind of loose interest....unless it develops to something more...but then he comes up with rules like....I want to know whenever u sleep with someone and doesn't want me to go on sex websites when we r together...I don't necessarily need to know when he sleeps with someone.... Any thoughts on this?

[Snarkybitch]

I think it's important to have some sort of mutual agreement as to boundaries and expectations with whoever you're in a relationship with. At least, if you're interested in a healthy adult relationship.

[GermanFucker]

With all due respect: You need to have the "define the relationship" talk. That doesn't mean you need to plan 5 years in advance, but you have to come up with rules that work for you right now. I know it's hard, especially if you have conflicting ideas (total openness vs. don't tell the other about everything etc.), but you will be better off afterwards.

Three rules of thumb for making an open relationship work

1.) Fairness: Don't try to dictate your notions ("my way or the highway") or overcompromise, but find a reasonable middle ground both can live with. However, it doesn't matter what conventional wisdom says, it just has to work for the both of you, noone else.

2.) Reciprocity: Except for master-slave relationships it should be a given that both parties have equal rights .

3.) Priorities: In a real relationship your partner comes first, i.e. if your BF wants to spend time together, you don't go cruising for cock at the same time. If you're not ready for that yet, you're not really ready for a relationship.

Edited January 24, 2013 by GermanFucker

[einathens]

the thing about relationships is, you both have to relate.

if after a few days he's posting about a relationship you didn't even know you were in with him, he could either be a stalker or a control freak. neither of those bode well.

personally, i'd run before he changes the locks and takes away the key.