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I don't mind role playing every now and again. With the right guy, and the right scenario, it can be seamless and natural. There is nothing worse than pseudo-scripted or forced role playing. It doesn't work.

The other shit that doesn't work in one person role-playing and trying to make the other participants it is the real deal. I'm an educated man. I've been around the block a few thousand times - it takes a lot to fucking fool me and for fuck's sake, don't play me for a fool.

Take a trip I was on out west. A decent looking dude hit me up on some iPhone app and wanted to play at his hotel. Worked for me. He claimed to be married. No worries there. Him cheating is his issue.

As with many internet possibilities, he disappeared at the moment of puling the trigger. When I started other plans, he pops back in with a proposition: he has another guy coming over and do I want to join?

I hemmed. I hawed. I finally said yes figuring I could just leave, as we weren't doing it at my hotel.

The third guy seemed more interesting, at least by his pics and profile. A little huskier but more masculine.

As it turns out, they were already together, watching me as I stood outside the hotel, making their assessment of me - if I was worthy, if I was not. On one hand I was offended, but on the other, you know - who cares. I'd love to be gutsier and send people away, instead of settling sometimes and just finishing them off to get rid of them. But I was invited in.

Both men were above average, though the huskier guy was even huskier in person than in his pics. Why am I always surprised?

The husky guy brought lube, poppers, a dildo, condoms, black gloves and a mask. Clearly there were discussions I was not part of, but that's ok. But it was the original guy who immediately started to get on my nerves.

As soon as we were in the door, he goes, "in a little while I'll have to call my wife so you'll have to step out in the hall while I do it.". ...but then it got more annoying.

For someone who told me he liked to play on the side, he clearly told the other guy "I've never done this before" - but you have to say it in that almost sing-songy pitched voice that immediately sounds unbelievable and lying. You know the one.

First off, he sucked the husky guy's cock too well to have 'never done this before', he did the same with licking my ass. Actually, he had a move I don't think I've been able to replicate that is great. The just inside tickle - but "ohhhhh....noooooo......should I do THAT? I've never done anything like THIS before......" Then goes onto expertly munch my hole.

Give up the ghost, you stupid faggot who probably doesn't have a wife at all.

Of course, when Mr. Husky pulls out the poppers and offers them to him, the same response: "oh, what are these.......? I feel SOOOOOOO weird............what's going onnnnnnnnnnn?".

Just shut the fuck up - no one is buying this.

True to form, 30 minutes in, he has to make his call. He finally says we can go into bathroom while he makes his call, because if I put on my pants and shoes, I was just leaving. But I also didn't trust the fucker at all. When going to the bathroom, I took my keys, wallet and phone.

While in there, Mr. Husky and I played. He sucked me real good.

Actually, in the entire scenario, I never sucked a cock, kissed a guy, ate an ass or anything.

When we were let out, the host had no problems just taking Mr. Husky's dick up his ass - after he had easily (too easily) taken the dildo up his fuck chute.

Never done this before, my ass.

Again, if you're gonna commit to the bit, make it realistic - or at least a storyline you can fake act to....not act fake.

The host sucked my dick while he took it up the ass. He might have done an ok job, but all I could think of was my exit strategy.

It's been a few weeks since this encounter, so my recollection is a little fuzzy on details, but at some point, Mr. Husky went back to sucking me - as I knew he'd take my load. I didn't trust the host to do that. I wasn't having it wasted. Not at that point.

More poppers for the host. More statements of feeling weird by doing poppers (though he knew exactly how to snort them).

I shot in the other guest's mouth and he swallowed as predicted.

While I got myself together, they went to the bed and looked like they might end up fucking. That was fine - but it was better for me to leave.

I stole the bottle of poppers on my way out the door.

I was getting something out of this deal. I figured I earned them.

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