Getting there

[losttop]

After messy break up where I was left with low self esteem issues and little self confidence.... I'm slowly starting to meet new people and hooking up again.... This all in less than a month...so I'm quite proud of myself! The only good thing that came out of my break up is the fact that I discovered my submissive side...am now playing with the idea of being a bottom sometimes...the only problem is that I can only bottom if I'm kind of in love with a guy...wondering how to go about it as I would like to get into it but haven't bottomed in more than 12 years...so kind of nervous about it...

[breedme420]

Well, I can say that you should be proud of yourself for starting to meet people and hookup again in such a short amount of time! Thats more than what a lot of other people can say after a long relationship that ends badly. As for being a bottom...well, if youre not into PNP at all, then I suggest loosening up with a drink or 2 before going out to try to hook up. It will help relax you a bit. Other than that, I dont really know what else to say at this time. I wish you the best of luck, and please keep us informed as to how things are going for you. Best wishes!

[Deaner]

Aside from finding someone you can actually fall in love with, you might want to try an escort with good reviews on making their clients feel more comfortable and at ease. The love might not be there the next morning, but you both might be able to fake it through the meeting. Another option is pseudo-escorts who do 'erotic' massages... the body contact and massage might help break through those feeling to let you 'open up'.

Lastly, if you're not ready to get into a relationship, but still need to get over the trust issues to bottom... try hook-up sites but look for a FWB (friends with benefits) situation where you can regularly meet up with the same person, but without all the messy strings and relationship. I was in a similar situation, and it really helped getting to know a guy and get comfortable having sex with him, even though we both knew it was never going to go any further. We could enjoy a nice dinner or conversation, and have a hot session in bed... but even though neither of us had plans to 'commit' to each other, we built some trust and had a really good time whenever he was in town.

I've also always wanted to try an anonymous BFE (boyfriend experience). Meet up, do all the things loving partners do, body contact, kissing, cuddling, even sleep together... then part ways afterwards with neither hopes nor regrets.

[losttop]

Aside from finding someone you can actually fall in love with, you might want to try an escort with good reviews on making their clients feel more comfortable and at ease. The love might not be there the next morning, but you both might be able to fake it through the meeting. Another option is pseudo-escorts who do 'erotic' massages... the body contact and massage might help break through those feeling to let you 'open up'.

Lastly, if you're not ready to get into a relationship, but still need to get over the trust issues to bottom... try hook-up sites but look for a FWB (friends with benefits) situation where you can regularly meet up with the same person, but without all the messy strings and relationship. I was in a similar situation, and it really helped getting to know a guy and get comfortable having sex with him, even though we both knew it was never going to go any further. We could enjoy a nice dinner or conversation, and have a hot session in bed... but even though neither of us had plans to 'commit' to each other, we built some trust and had a really good time whenever he was in town.

Using an escort is not an option as I need to be kind of in love with someone to be able to bottom...

I've also always wanted to try an anonymous BFE (boyfriend experience). Meet up, do all the things loving partners do, body contact, kissing, cuddling, even sleep together... then part ways afterwards with neither hopes nor regrets.

Using an escort is not an option as I need to be kind of in love with someone in order to bottom... The thing is I kind of get tired of FBs after a while unless there is room for more...normally I will hook up once with u.... If sex is really good.... Then I might hook up few more times...but then I get the feeling of been there done that.... It's not that I have trust issues when bottoming either...don't need surrogate bf either.... It's either in the cards or it isn't...last night went to sexparty where we had to wear masks....was good fun and I fucked few guys...later went to bar where I flirted with few guys and ended up making out with one and going to other more sleazy bar...had a feeling he thought I was a bottom by the way he was touching me...later on he told me he liked to bottom.... And I thought.... Great! So I ended up fucking him at his place... Tonight going to other sexparty...so I'm kind of enjoying being a slut for the moment....till that special one comes along...

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

losttop, it is still relatively early since your breakup. So while I understand that you think you need to be 'kind of in love', give it time and persistence like you have everything else. So much of what we think we "need" are artificial constructs of our own making; and as such are not immutable. Good lube and a decision try more of what you claim to want will take you there. You may have to choose to relax into it; but you can...

[losttop]

losttop, it is still relatively early since your breakup. So while I understand that you think you need to be 'kind of in love', give it time and persistence like you have everything else. So much of what we think we "need" are artificial constructs of our own making; and as such are not immutable. Good lube and a decision try more of what you claim to want will take you there. You may have to choose to relax into it; but you can...

I was only with him for little more than a year...but there was lot of mental abuse and some physical....I'm a top for 99% of time.... But a lot of times guys assume I'm a bottom or want to top me as I'm 5,8" and skinny built....the funny thing is that I top a lot of tall guys.... Well over 6". Preferably I like smaller guys as I find them more manageable to top. But strange thing is that my ex uncovered my submissive side...I really would do almost anything sexually to please him...guess I need to start to train my hole...