Feeder Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Click here to see International Bareback Boy's original blog post... I am currently trying to mend a broken heart. Ok, fair enough... perhaps I should have fallen so quickly, so hard, but one thing I have learnt is that you cannot control your emotions, and who you fall for. About 6 weeks ago I met this amazing guy. We had a magical connection, and there was sintant attraction and charm. We started dating, however it was not exclusive. I then went to Sydney, and yes I was naughty, or good - however you wanna look at it, but I never told him, and secondly again it was made clear before I left, that we were not exclusive. It had only been a couple of weeks since we had met. He's a gorgeous mexican.... amazing personality, and just lovely. The whole trip I feel was in a way marred by my feelings for him, and the recipocation back from him. There was not a day that went by that he did not phone me whilst I was in Sydney, and we sent various txts all day long. I decided to have my fun whilst on holiday as if we were getting involved, it would be the last bit of random fun I would have. The big thing was, I needed to tell him about the HIV component of the relationship, and had been dreading it. I got drunk one night in Sydney and decided to come clean and just tell him. He phoned me and said it was all ok, and we would work it out. I felt so safe, and accepted. I get back, and went straight to his place after spending 5 minutes dropping my luggage off, with his presents. Immediately I felt there was a different viba. I don't know what could have changed during the 3 hour flight from Sydney to Auckland, but long story short he said he didn't feel it would work because he had just come out of a relationship, he was trying to immigrate to New Zealand, and various other reasons. Ultimately he was not ready for a something as he needed to focus on everything else first. I accepted this with a bit of a fight, as where I come from, you fight for what you want. That was 3 weeks ago... I went online yesterday and found out his profiles say he is looking for a relationship etc. When I confronted him, it came out that he could not accept my HIV and now he has blocked me. I know this sound dumb, stupid, ridiculous or whatever, but when u have feelings for someone, and you know them you, and a small obstacle like HIV smacks a wedge in due to ignorance, and denial and refusal to accept guidance... it fucking hurts. He's not blocked me on facebook, and various other sites.... I guess I'm heart broken because... fuck.... I'm still single... I'm apparently an attractive guy, have dated models, and what not else... but here I am single.... and its been 5 fucking years! And I mean I'm sane, I am not a psycho and what not else... Oh I just don't understand it. Anyway, I think I have shed enough tears over the last 2 days. Any advice as to what I should do next would be welcome! Ta A More... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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