[College Boy Sperm Hole] Ready Again

[Feeder]

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Sigh. Of all the places I expected to be right now, sitting in the airport headed home to see my folks, is not one of them. Nor, for that matter, was announcing my return to the blog. Yet, here I am.

A few months ago, I met and fell in love (or sorts) with an amazingly cool guy from New York. He’s 32, Filipino, an architect, and a raging top. But alas, a private guy and very strict (uptight, even) about safe sex. I’m sure you understand the irony of this. But we bonded in a way that was more than simply about sex – he was really genuine in his affection and admiration for me - and so I chose to forgo barebacking for a while. Being part of a long-term relationship was much easier than I’d imagined and even the DC-NYC commutes on weekends were manageable. This Spring, I discovered accidentally that he’d been seeing more than one college boy, though he couldn’t admit it. You know where this is going, right? I’m not intimidated by being in an open relationship, but eventually the lies just erode any confidence you have about the mundane, everyday things he tells you. I bowed out as gracefully as I could, no drama, which I’m proud of.

I’m sure some of you were wondering where I was. In fact, I know you were – I have the emails. Let me say that simply, maintaining this blog was not appropriate given the circumstances. I had nothing new about barebacking to share, chose to keep things monogamous on my end, and wanted to keep his confidences. I’m assuming you’ve been in the same spot, and so you can respect that. Let’s leave it there.

And so here I am, trying to make it to Chicago from New York, where I spent part of the summer with Architect Man. I had planned to be in NYC until the Fall semester started, but sometimes a hasty exit is well advised. We have a family trip to San Diego and then I can get mentally prepared for my old life in DC.

Last week, I had my first post-breakup dream about the Architect Man. We were in bed on a rainy Sunday morning, waking up and falling into sex, as we usually did. At some point in the dream, I realized that he was fucking me bareback, slowly and sensually, something that never happened in real life. In the dream, I wrapped my legs around him as a thunderstorm rocked Seventh Avenue and he erupted inside me in thick, salty streams. The dream stayed with me and I stayed in bed the next morning and jerked off reliving it.

The past year taught me a lot. I know I’m a relationship oriented guy and have more to offer a man than just sex. I think next time, I want to combine the intimacy and commitment of a partnership with a stable man who also needs to breed and maybe even share. In due time.

I’m looking forward to a month of downtime, sleeping in, my mother’s cooking, and getting my head together. I’ll have more to share here, also, for those still reading. (In truth, I write to analyze my own experiences, but hey, I enjoy an audience ;-) Since finding myself single again, my mind is racing and the urge is growing to be the college boy cumhole I was born to be, that I need to be right now, and to be held down and get some serious sperm fucked into me again.

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