Feeder Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 More... I've always been pretty adventurous with sex, from buying my first harness shortly after I came out to my endeavours into S&M play the past 5 years. It all started with my interest in leather, I recall I was at a club when I was in college and the guy dancing next to me was wearing these tight jeans and cowboy boots. Without paying attention to his face, I threw a raging boner on the spot (which tends to happen easily at 20) imagining the things I would do with him with his boots in my face. S&M means different things to different people. The common misconception is that the top is in control but without the sub surrendering control and agreeing to certain behaviours, the scneario would never succeed. Even though I'm the top when playing with Big Shot, he's actually what I'd call a 'pushy bottom' in that he's the one always pushing what he wants to me. Being the top was quite labourious with him having to wrestle the toys and gags while he sits and endures the pain, or pleasure. The thrill for me is when a guy worships my leather and seeing him grimace as I tortured him, knowing the power I have and the lengths he would go to satisfy me. For Big Shot, he always gets what he wants such as convincing me to visit him last minute so he could surrender himself and feel the high of losing control. He's confessed over the past few months he wants to be really humuliated and one guy even made him cry, making him realise he's more submissive than previously thought. I want to take that control from him and see him totally helpless. During out talks, we agreed that I was not really dominant and I've really been thinking about asserting myself. So talking with others who share the same proclivity over the pass week, I learned that confidence and dominance are synonymous. Looking back during the scene with Big Shot last week, there were several instances I was uncertain whether the belt was whipping the right spot on his ass or if what I was doing was really pleasurable for both of us. These doubts manifested itself causing us to abandon the deed. Sometimes I wish I was as ambitious with my life and career as I am with sex. I've been chatting with other guys to give me insight of how to gain confidence thereby dominance, so I can push the envelope, bring a guy to beg and cry for me. The guy I thought most appropriate and knowledgeable was Todd and I've chatted with him again asking him to mentor me. Our convo last night proved I sought the right help as he shares the same high breaking down a guy. More... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts