[Wolveriner] Sentimental over Big Shot

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As I mature in recent years, I've come to appreciate a guy beyond the physical attributes. Don't get me wrong, any guy with a rock hard boy and stunning good looks still gives me a boner, but a guy's attitude and shared interest definitely rocks my boat as is the case with Big Shot. I never understood the attraction of confidence until Big Shot.

That first night as I walked behind him to the restaurant and seeing how he took control of things, I questioned why such a seemingly confident guy is actually so submissive behind closed doors. I found myself upset over him when he said he was only free to spend time with me Friday and Saturday day time when I may the detour to L.A. for the sole purpose of meeting him. I'm a touchy-feelie person and the few times I patted him on his back and ass in the mountains of L.A., he didn't reciprocate. I almost felt he was shrugging me off when he dropped me at the hotel and I mentioned "so I'll see you again in October" and he simply said "you know how to look for me" without any sense of excitement.

I worried that he was no longer interested in me after having spent the Saturday together because it happens to me after I get to know the guy. On several occasions once I get to know the person I had been shagging, my carnal desires diminish because the guy is no longer so sexy when you learn of his flaws. Stepping out of his car and walking into the hotel, all I could think of was that he seemed 'cold' and probably we wouldn't see again.

I found myself repeatedly checking out his Facebook profile to see his pictures and even read his blog he wrote for about 9 months in 2006. I see him on Facebook regularly and I've held back from messaging him for fear I may seem too needy. When we did finally chat I told him I felt he was a bit 'cold' and Big Shot seemed offended by my adjective. And when he mentioned he was offered opportunities in Europe, my heart sank knowing the chances of us meeting would be nil. I don't know what to think of this guy, I'm definitely attracted to him but understand that there's an element of sexual attraction as well and I really had not had the chance to know him during our rendez-vous. Being pragmatic, we have our geographical distance and I have a boyfriend whom I love very much just that we don't have sex any more. I didn't get the vibe that he was interested in any emotional relationship with me.

Imagine how ecstatic I was when he messaged online informing me he's moving back to Montréal to join the family business. Reading his blog, I learned that he was offered the opportunity more than 2 years ago but wanted to build something himself in L.A. and not live in the shadow of his family. Big Shot is now a 5-hour drive instead of a 5-hour flight away, better yet, the business has a branch in Toronto he intends to frequent. We had a positive rapport during the conversation as he seemed excited that we would meet with greater frequency. I'm naturally a pretty straight-forward guy so I let him know "deep in my hear I'm cheering 'yippie.'"

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