Feeder Posted October 3, 2010 Report Posted October 3, 2010 To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... I’ve made no secret of my desires, my proclivities, my shortcomings and even my sins, if you want to call them that. In this online confessional, I’ve bared raw my manhood in more ways than most can admit. I’ve had my time of public confession and then I needed private reflection. Whatever I’ve been experiencing — a mid-life crisis, a nervous breakdown, some mental break — I sense emerging from it. But I find myself in the midst of changing. Men dominate my thought, but not the usual domination of men. Well, not in the usual way. Desires of a more substantial connection, but with those unlikely to reciprocate. Like the man from my encounter, “We Hold These Truths to Be Evident.” His claim of bisexuality might prevent him from ever seriously considering even more than an hour with me. Another man, who teases me increasingly with occasional texts and some IM conversations on BarebackRT. I’m not sure where “N” truly resides or whether he might be serious, but I find his allure difficult and frustrating. Yet another, I shall keep his identity more covert, who I find tugs at my heart unintentionally but evilly enjoys the spoils of his emotional game. Something I’m certain I deserve to suffer through. All of these unattainable. All of these, a fixation but not an obsession. All of these, a healthy distance away that give me enough pain to know I’m alive. I am not through. I am still me. I still prowl, considering who I might devour if a victim proves worthy. But in these men, I’ve met an*adversary worth engaging over time. I hope for the opportunity. More...
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