Looking For Him But Should I?

[BottomKink]

I stopped frequent NSA cruising a while ago and am now looking for a stable sex partner. Doing NSA as a willing bottom changed my whole sexuality and allowed me to become comfortable with being a fuck toy for men. The more sex I had, the more I developed myself as a bottom both sexually, mentally, and an increase in kink fetishes and other taboo fantasies. So now that I stopped NSA sex and am now looking online for sex chat with a guy to relieve some hornyness, I realized that I expressed myself too sexually as a bottom. Add pnp to the mix, then kink and taboo favorites become the center point of everything. The result? Most guys who chat with me on an app ends up questioning their lifestyle choice. Even the "very kinky taboo kik" ones. And I'm not being super intense with it. Still, while this serves as a nice ego boost, it still leaves me with nobody to sex chat with. Hooking up through apps is fine, but its hard finding a top (or any fuck buddy) who is super compatible with me.

It sucks bottling up every urge to ask a guy you hooked up with about experimenting with dirtier sex. Being limited on how I express myself kinda gets to me, so now I'm going to search for a top (or versatile) guy who has my level of sexual appetite or a little more. I want to try and find that one guy who may be willing to act out every type of sex we fantasized about. And also be able to chat about sex over the internet with no worries about being too explicit. That's been my dream sex parter, someone who understands me like I understand them. But since this can be considered a fantasy in itself, should I actually go through with searching for a guy who is just as sexually fucked up as me? Does anybody have that one special sex partner in crime that you do everything with?

[einathens]

Finding him should be part of the fun. Perhaps you're putting too much pressure on yourself. 

You live in a large metropolitan area, no?  Have you checked NKP for neighbors?