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skeptik73

seeking bb/shaving control top

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Sometimes you meet someone, and even though its online, everything just click and you realize you are meant to be with a guy like him.

Unfortunately he's in australia.

He's 30, white, bareback top, 6'1", solid hwp body, not defined though, handsome, goatee, into sexual control and making his bottom guys shave down all over.  Nice deep voice, serious look, and fucking hung too (just a nice bonus that).  And is past few bfs were all over 40.  I'm 44, and also married to a great guy in an open relationship.  I emailed him, don't know if he'll email me back, but I want to be with a guy like that, more than anything.  Wrong continent, but I want to pick his brain, understand that ticking

I'll leave it at that.  I'm gwm, 44, 5'8" 145#, in a committed relationship.  Like to keep myself shaved down anyway, and like to top shaved/smooth holes too.  Been more top this year, but was already looking to get back to my bottom/sub roots.

I'm not a big traveller, but mid-atlantic is good, and I have been keeping rather too focused on sex, due to habits.  But the guy I am looking for probably is too -- focused on exploring that sexual control and with his dick throbbing for the shaved holes he controls.  This control stuff does not extend out of play to any significant extent

30 is a good rough minimum for this, but can work with younger, and older is great.  White/Hispanic preferred, but if you are one of those black guys that's big into white guys and all the rest of this.... that is hot too.  Lack of the bad habit is also not a deal breaker -- if you are good with the focus on fucking/breeding.  Liking group play to some extend probably also required

I probably need to work on tailoring this to the type of guy I'm after here.  He probably did not make it to the end of this.  :-/  He probably also was expecting pics.

Even if we don't hit it off for whatever reason.... want to meet guys like this.  Hits my fucking spot.

I guess you can email me here, then we can take it elsewhere.

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I’m realizing I liked that Australian guy too much for my own good. Echos of that unmistakeabie turned on state from his ordering me to shave, and the drive and seriousness on his handsome face — I think I’d have accepted and encouraged any and all selfishness he entertained.

Both of us under the influence— my assessment now is he’s not going to even email me back.

 And if this pinnacle is folly, I wonder what is there In sex period.

i don’t think my vision is wrong.  This can be — but not with the substance that warps and lies to us.  

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It is hard to let go of old expectations of what a male social environment should be.  After a few tickles and scratches of that “yes” button...  I see again the shallow, the underlying fragility, the judging, the jockeying, the setting up of what we desire and minimizing of what we dislike.

Nothing will ever be shiny enough for long enough.  Enjoy each moment.  Care, but want nothing.  Want as little as possible.  But care.  I stopped caring.... about this, and then about that.      And I had to search harder and harder for things I cared about.  I stopped caring about the human race, but I cared enough about our planet that I thought she should be spared from us.  I stopped caring about whether I’d die soon but I still cared about staying healthy enough to work and not be a burden while I was alive.  I had mixed feelings about apathy.  The choice to not care is empowering.  The choice to care is draining.

it is hard to stop caring about this though.  All the social programming in my head that tells me what is desirable.  And what is detestable.  TV has shaped virtually all of us, and our peer circles.  None of that was ever necessary.

I had a sad.  There is no win.  Except to be happy anyway.  Again I find I want to be a robot, a happy robot, choosing the best value path, free from even my own subjective value judgements.

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My mind -- it comes -- it goes.  Now I'm brainstorming a world, a fiction... can't share.  But must observe, must observe what is real to get some more ideas.  Want to talk about the top/bottom control thing.  Leg hairs growing back, not going to do that again -- I might trim my eyebrows again though, that went pretty well.  Need to get out more.

Fulfillment is fleeting.

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Putting this so-far fruitless search on hold while I reclaim full mental faculties, and reassess priorities.  Addressing the underlying current of typical male lonliness in a better way.

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