My first raw fuck and load

[wondermut]

Not my last load - but my first was last year - in Orlando at a bar while on vacation - in the restroom there that seemed was more set-up as a backroom kinda thing - kinda drunk and was close to closing time - a few guys were in there and I was feeling up and kissing this hot little latino guy - he shoved his hands down the back of my jeans and played with my ass while i took his cock out and jacked it - I dug a condom out of my pocket and put it in his hand, he turned me around, some other guy put some poppers under my nose and the stud behind me pushed his cock in - jeans around my ankles leaning forward with another guy kinda holding me up - latino guy pounded my ass for a few minutes then slammed into me all the way and groaned and just kinda held there inside me - he pulled out then zipped up. he kissed me hard then handed me back the condom still in the wrapper - he'd never even opened it and I had no clue - guess the beer and the poppers had me kinda looped - I freaked the fuck out but it was also so fucking hot....tested neg afterwards - but i've been fucked bare several times since. Like some posts that i've read on here - I assume getting poz is going to happen at some point with me fucking bare even if I try to take neg loads - and although i love fucking bare - i fucking hate the anxiety that comes after the fucks - so i'm thinking why not just get it over with and stop having to worry...right???

[wondermut]

So if the guy was POZ I guess he technically stealthed me - but if so it didn't take - but obviously I was not chasing anyway. Still not chasing - just assuming that it is going to happen. I did not fuck raw until last year when the stealthing I talk about above happened - but afterwards when he gave me back the stilll wrapped condom - it was scary as hell but hot at the same time. Like I said, I totally freaked. Finally though I ended up fucking bare mostly since. I still worry - but seriously tired of worrying. I may have taken POZ loads - obviously I can't be sure - but if so I haven't known it at the time. I am really leaning toward making it happen. I think once it does I will not have the anxiety about waiting to find out anymore - and can just enjoy the fucking for one - and too, to just get on with life without thinking about it anymore.