I don't think I'll ever be able to justify bareback

[MtnOtter]

Bare sex always feels better

Get some sort of preventative medication and get on BBRTS and find a Neg + Prep Top who wants to unload in ur ass. Neg tops on Prep will be a good match for your fantasies.

[BarebackedBear]

2 hours ago, MtnOtter said:

Bare sex always feels better

Get some sort of preventative medication and get on BBRTS and find a Neg + Prep Top who wants to unload in ur ass. Neg tops on Prep will be a good match for your fantasies.

This. It's a great site if you're nervous about hookups because it does sort by HIV status and prevention method. It's also a good place to go if you're looking to explore some fantasies around playing with POZ guys whether or not you're on treatment, if so inclined. Lots of POZ undetectable and POZ unmedicated guys there who are more than happy to help you indulge the fantasy.

Met a partnered couple on there ages ago, both POZ undetectable. Told them I had a fantasy about being bred by POZ guys but was nervous. They had me over, along with another guy from the site, also undetectable. Helped me live out that fantasy in a way that felt lower risk.

[Poz50something]

On 7/5/2024 at 12:27 PM, rambo13645 said:

 

 a committed top couple who convinces me they're clean on a camping trip and they bareback me all week then they invite others in to share me further. 

Let's consider the word 'clean' - someone who is openly admitting he's poz is then dirty? Please explain..... also, there's doxyprep and Valtrex that can be used preventatively. I would also like to say that doxyprep is not that efficient at preventing gono. There are risks with bareback.   

[topblkmale]

37 minutes ago, Poz50something said:

Let's consider the word 'clean' - someone who is openly admitting he's poz is then dirty? Please explain..... also, there's doxyprep and Valtrex that can be used preventatively. I would also like to say that doxyprep is not that efficient at preventing gono. There are risks with bareback.   

 

Clean is an intentionally ambiguous word used when guys fuck each other. If one asks are you clean, the response can always be yes.

 

No one ever answers no.

 

[Roughme101]

You have to find someone your comfortable feel safe with.

My first bb  was with reg fb and the nonly after a while but once I felt it bare I've not gone back. 

Once I started taking him raw and his loads I opened up more to the idea and now played raw anon, long as they breed me as love making them cum knowing it's deep in me. 

[justintoolook]

While I admit I kind of recoil at words like "clean," as others have said there's risk to any encounter, and you need to balance the risks to yourself (and your partner(s)) you are comfortable with.

But what no one else has commented on yet is the trauma gay men have experienced, and the fact that we're still living with it and working our way through it.  At least some of your hesitancy likely stems from the fact that we were traumatized badly as individuals, and as a community, when we were already an out-group to begin with.

I've always thought many of the fiction stories here are ways of working through that trauma - whether complex feelings of guilt or shame or regret related to being poz, or survivor guilt for many who are neg.   I can't speak for everyone, of course.  But many stories are a way of embracing and coming to terms with life in a community where HIV is a daily reality.

One of the things I've loved about PreP/TAsP is that it's really starting to heal our community.   We see almost never see "HIV Neg UB2" nonsense anymore, and it's been replaced by the much more sensible "U=U," and also with the knowledge that we now have multiple options for preventing HIV infection.   We've getting past being so afraid of each other.

But it's hard.  Your response has all the earmarks of a trauma response.  If you have a therapist, you might consider discussing it with them.  If you don't, you might consider working through some of this with an LGBTQ-friendly therapist who can help you non-judgmentally find your way.

No matter what you choose ultimately, right now you describe desires that you can't engage in because your fear is too intense to do so.  Reflecting on that with a professional with some distance from the situation can be helpful.

Edited August 7 by justintoolook