I am the Vice Principal of Discipline at St. Androphil's School for Businessmen of the Future.
The parents of the young men sent to St. Androphil's are typically well-to-do and well educated and are concerned that their sons are so openly homophobic that they won't fit in to the more progressive work force needed in today's economy.
This is why, as you probably already know, St. Androphil's has an innovative zero-tolerance policy toward homophobia, and why the parents of the young men sent to St. Androphil sign an "anything goes" release that permits the school to do anything it deems necessary to effect "appropriate behavioral and attitudinal adjustments" in its young scholars.
You won't be surprised to learn that St. Androphil allots 23 percent of its annual operating budget to the Department of Discipline (DOD), and that the DOD has its own large, handsome three story brick building (the Discipline Center, commonly referred to as the "Castle") with a basement used exclusively for temporary imprisonment and scheduled corporal punishments.
The second floor is dedicated to Anal Exercises and the third to Genital Specialties.
The main floor contains the Administrative Offices, most of which have attached laboratories in which customized treatments are conducted under close supervision of the Discipline Staff.
And every floor is of course supplied with a large number of "evacuation areas" fitted with showers, trough urinals, toilets, hoses, slings, leather covered "horses," industrial enema gear--everything you might imagine that might be required in the proper Discipline of homophobic Businessmen of the Future.
My job, as Vice Principal of Discipline, is to oversee the process by which young students get admitted to the "Castle" for a correctional period. I evaluate each admission, do a thorough Evaluation Test and prepare a "Correctional Recommendation" for each student admitted.
As time permits, I visit students undergoing correction to evaluate their progress--but I have a staff of 10 assistants to help with this. We also use volunteers from the community, but they are carefully screened and trained. As you can imagine, we have many more applications for volunteers than we have spaces.
In this blog, I will record some of the more interesting Admissions cases I have dealt with recently.