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It can only get worse...

As I mentioned in another entry, I had cancer from ages 14-16. They barely caught the tumor in time, and it became a comedy of medical missteps for the entire time I was receiving treatment. From a botched biopsy that left me partially paralyzed for 6 months, to a fusion of 3 discs that was done hastily and improperly, I'm lucky to have survived. However, there have been side-effects. These weren't really much of an issue in my youth. In fact, some of the negatives contributed positively to my b


PozzitiveDesires in Grim Diagnosis

Take 2

Well been chatting to a guy who not only is toxic but has some friends are who are as well and he wants to introduce me to them. Guess we'll see what happens!

My BDSM Test results what kind of sexual desires and I am!

I have done several online tests of my kind of sexual desires but i decided to post my results that i did this morning. i can say it affirms what i already know about myself.   == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Exhibitionist  100% Submissive  100% Degradee  100% Rope bunny  100% Masochist  90% Slave  78% Voyeur  76% Non-monogamist  74% Experimentalist  69% Brat  62% Primal (Prey)  57% Pet  57% Ageplayer  48% Boy/Girl  33% Vanilla  7% Switch  7

my gay feelings

I am presently in an island and sex here is very conservative and discreet, i have to admit i miss the opportunity that i have in north America that one can just go online and within a half hour or so have sex. yesterday i went swimming and when i finished began to leave but i go swimming in a cruise area that men go to meet other men for sex. since the path is rocky i took the wooded path and going through came heads with a guy who i knew and tried to fuck me, we greeted and he waved me to give


mikeboi1 in feelings

The Beginning

I'm in my 40s now, but I grew in a very small town with a predominately Italian population with no people of color in the Midwest. My parents were supposedly Evangelical Christians which is how I was raised. Life you could say was stifling and controlled. I was taught that you were either gay or straight and "picking" gay was damnable. It might also get you beaten to a pulp even as a teen. But my problem was that my best friend and I had begun experimenting. Neither one of us dared say anything

Another bust.

Waited, didn't hear from the guy Thursday but knew he was travelling to London and had plans Thursday night. Messaged him Friday morning but still never heard from him, Friday came and went. Still not heard from him. It's not just bottoms that cancel without word.

Squirt squirt 💦

Felt like sharing my load with you boys today: [think before following links] https://drive.google.com/file/d/13DuBihy85KtPOqjV4zaiwfWHymRA_mGc/view?usp=sharing


BruxoCub in Cum

First steps...

Been chatting to a couple of guys who are (hopefully) toxic. One meeting up with when he visits next week, the other no plan yet. Both promise a deep roughing up of my hole and planting their viral babies so I guess we'll see what happens.

Boyfriend and I Fucked by Hung Muscle Stud

The first time my cock was ever in a guys ass bareback was only for a few seconds when I was 20. I had gone home with an 18-year-old twink and after we were naked I was lying on this couch and he straddled my cock and lowered himself on to my bare cock. (No lube, it was pretty impressive.) I was, of course, paranoid about STDs so I asked him for a condom. Still ended up being a great fuck but I do regret asking for that condom. The next time was about a year later with the guy who would become m

Taking My First BB Load

I had already taken a cock bareback, but the guy pulled out before he came. I had been fucked a couple times before that by guys wearing condoms, and it was fine, but it didn't really do much for me. I got off, but it wasn't anything to write home about. The first time a guy actually came in me was the first time I really got the appeal of bottoming. I was 21 at the time and we met on an AOL chat room (late 90s, lol) and I agreed to meet him at his place. He was a fit twink just a little ta


Installment number Six of probably the best party weekend of my extensive "career" - back in 2006 in Provincetown. My hubby was in New Hampshire at a 4 day business convention and during those 4 days he was happy for me to do my partying in Ptown ,  with him joining me after his convention for his much more vanilla style sex. Thursday night my buddy Jimmy hosted a hot orgy for me but had to change Friday's plans for a personal emergency, so did Lou the local candy-man, who had an emergency leavi

Growing to be better at meeting my man needs and desires

I have all my life being and accepted that i am a bitch to men who want a piece of ass. All my life i given men pleasure by giving them the pleasure of fucking me. however recently i had a dom top tell me it does not matter to him what my body looks like, i must accept that to him I am a female! I am a woman his eyes and will be presented to all his friends and society by him as his female bitch. I have always seen myself as a higher level of femenine behavior and desires. but this opened u


Here's the fifth installment of probably the best party weekend of my extensive "career" - back in 2006 in Provincetown. My hubby was at a 4 day business convention in New Hampshire and was happy for me to do my partying in Ptown during those 4 days, joining me after his convention (for his much more vanilla style sex). Spent Thursday with buddy Jimmy who'd hosted a hot orgy for me Thursday night, but had to bail for Friday for a personal emergency, at the same time Lou the local candy-man also

Took Truvada last night…

…not to avoid getting HIV, but rather to try to mitigate any fuck flu symptoms I might have. I'm thinking Truvada will slow down HIV and less virus = a milder fuck flu. Not sure if that's true, but we'll see… It's not like I'm trying to get pozzed so I can experience horrible fuck flu or have it interrupt my travel plans. I'll be quite happy if I can test poz without any symptoms or just minimal symptoms. If the symptoms built slowly over a couple days I'd take them at first sign of symptoms, bu

Thoughts 5 days after possibly getting pozzed…

A lot has been going through my mind the past 5 days since I took what I think was a toxic load… The first night I didn't sleep all that well (excitement, not worry). Then the next day I realized nothing except possibly my status has changed. But if I'm poz it does change some of my priorities. I came the morning after, but now I'm going to try to not cum except when I'm fucking someone. That said, my libido hasn't been all that strong.  I've been reading about viral loads. I knew the

I think I just got pozzed!

A couple hours ago I hooked up with this guy who I'd fucked in the past when he was a bug chaser and I'm like 90% sure I've got a toxic load in my unPrEPped neg ass right now. 😈☣️ When I fucked him before I was vague about my status back then since I knew I was neg and his fantasy was that I was poz and toxic, but it turned me on that he was chasing. He was this clean-cut, muscle frat boy type - not the type you'd expect to be  trying to get pozzed. Last fall he'd told me he didn't really k

Vitamin E, Playlist 02

Put together a second playlist for you guys to take you deep and dirty.   1. Space Date - Adam Beyer, Green Velvet, Layton Giordani 2. The Conclave (Christian Craken Remix) 3. Particle Fever (John Osborn Remix) - Tom Dicicco 4. In Love - Adam Beyer 5. Extinction (Original Mix) - Hell Driver 6. Reminition (Original Mix) - SubSight 7. Broke [NO SERVICE] - Unit Boy 8. System Ecstasy (Extended Version) (1996) - DJ Hooligan 9. WAP (Asquith 90's Techn

Vitamin E, Playlist 01

Some of you requested I make a few playlists of jams I like to beat out to. Deep, dark, industrial techno is one of my favorite genres of music, and brings out the decadence in your soul. Great for fucking! 1. Keep Calm (Edit) - ARTBAT & Dino Lenny 2. Ask Yourself (Knobs Remix) - PLASTIKMAN 3. Traversing the Asteroid Belt (Monoloc Remix) - Traversable Wormhole 4. The Fall of the Empire is Imminent - Pfirter 5. Fractales - Pfirter 6. BX 3 - Len Faki 7. Subze

Update as I take a break...and then the next night...

Dangling my wet cock as I type a few lines first. Friday night's menu was to fuck a few at bh, then we headed to a motel cumdump my man found on bbrt, and we've been prtying since last night with another cumdump afterwards, like now. We took turns and so far he's gotten just 1 from me. My man loves watching me fuck and breed anon butts lol. Motel ass I was already like 12th, but my man gave like 3 loads after two in front of us finished.  So this one is my 6th hole today...this dirty s

A Minor Epiphany at the Bookstore

Near Home—August, 2021 I came home from Chicago and holed up in my duplex.  It was the largest group I had mixed with in ages.  It was also the largest group of all vaccinated men I had mixed with ever.  I felt fine, but I kept to myself for twelve days to make sure.  So, of course, now that I was ready, the hook ups sites were dead.  I went to the bookstore nearest to me…   It’s slow, but it is a Friday afternoon.  I do no more than look into the empty straight theatre befor

ATM - Spring 2022

I've mentioned Rob a couple of times now.   He really is a first rate pig.   He is a versatile guy, but he really loves to receive ass play and we have progressed to fist play.  He is getting better all the time and taking more of my hand, fist and forearm.  He actually has 'assgasms' (as he calls them) and his entire hole clamps down when he cums, his ass gets juicier but his cock doesn't blow (although it does leak a lot of pre-cum while I play with his ass). He called last week and said


PG1961Canada in ATM

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