I've always been aware that I may well wind up poz through barebacking. Like many, I hope it doesn't happen; conversely, if it does, I know it'll be through my own actions and lust. I've always pretended to believe everyone who says they're negative, and I've always been tested every three months.

Ten weeks ago I tested negative for HIV.

Two weeks from now, I'm scheduled for another test.

Nine weeks ago I was tired, frustrated, and horny. This is never a good combination for me.

I went to one of the local ABS and sucked off two guys, but I really, really, really wanted a cock in my ass; and, as much as I say I'll stay away from barebacking, I wanted to feel that skin-on-skin contact.

We started off on opposite sides of the gloryhole. I sucked him for a while, then he sucked me for a bit, and then he said he wanted to see my ass.

"Sweet. A hairy ass. Nice."

He was rubbing it and fingering it through the gloryhole, and then he started licking it. Licking it, sucking it, gnawing on my ring ... I wound up biting the side of my fist to keep from screaming in pleasure. And then he stood up and started teasing my hole with his cock.

He dipped the tip in -- presumably to see how I'd react -- and I pushed back and opened up around him. It was tight going at first, with only spit for lube, but he kept saying how good my ass felt once it loosened up.

"You're like fucking a handful of hot, wet silk."

When our booths ran out, he suggested we get a buddy booth: he wanted a booth large enough for both of us, one where he could "fuck you the way you need to be fucked."

We went into the corner booth and stripped, and I got my first look at him. Whipcord-slender, black hair, probably ten years younger than me. Nice body, and a slab of cock hanging off of him that made me realize I'd only taken about half of his length. He wasn't a 10-11" monstrosity, but he was a good solid 7.5 - 8", and now that we didn't have a wall between us, he could fit it all in.

I don't know how long he fucked me: I know he put a twenty and a handful of singles into the bill accepter, and there was less than five minutes left when we finally left the booth.

All I know is that he used my hole. He loosened me up and fucked me like I haven't been fucked in ages. He kept saying how hot it was to fuck a hairy hole, how he loved the way I felt. He kept grabbing my shoulders to pull me deep onto him, and then grabbing my hips when he'd piston, the slap of his hips against mine echoing in the room.

I was panting, reaching back every now and then to feel that hot, bare cock sliding into my ass. Squeezing my fingers in alongside it, moaning as I stretched myself even further.

He pulled out for a bit and ate my hole again, then squelched three, then four fingers into it, flexing his hand in my ass, not quite fisting me.

He spat -- once onto his cock, and once into my hole -- then started fucking me again.

He picked up speed, and then pulled almost all the way out, jacking his cock while the head rested just inside my sphincter.

"Beg for it."

I moaned.

"Beg me. Tell me you want my load."

I swallowed a mouthful of saliva and tried to push back on his cock, gripping my ass cheeks and spreading them for him.

Then, everything stopped. There was a moment of perfect clarity when he said, "Beg for my poz load, slut. Take my cum."

I'd known that there was a possibility, but hearing it -- feeling it -- brought it home just what I was doing, just what I was risking. Just what I'd been risking in the twenty-plus years I've been barebacking.

"Beg for my poz load."

"I'm gonna turn you into a cumdump. Whore you out to my friends."

"Beg for it. Tell me to breed you."

A thousand throughts ran through my mind, and I closed my eyes as I felt him start to shoot, then shove his twitching cock back into my ass.

"Breed me."

It was only a whisper, but I'd begged.

"Please."