Over the years, I've given myself permission to indulge in my more perverted interests that I keep hidden deep inside.  I like to bring them out and play once in a while.  My unspoken attraction to the dom/sub relationship led me to the world of leather and kink, and I found many playmates in my community to have fun with once I learned the ground rules and how to ask for what I wanted.  But in a way, even those encounters were not enough.  I think they were merely a gateway to a world of fantasy that has gloriously rotted my brain since then.  

I've not indulged in chems, as I know enough to realize I have an addictive personality and wouldn't know how to stop wisely.  And I haven't actually indulged in anything illegal, but not for lack of desire.  My body is not what it was, and I feel a bit more relegated to the world of imagination now than realistically accomplishing anything truly perverse in reality.  I have a healthy fantasy life that has led me down the ladder into popper-bating, non-con incest fiction, younger/older, military, pain, and a bit of k9 kink as well.  I am also a big fan of kink art, especially works that clearly depict age differences or males in painful situations (Some of my favorite artists include Michael Kerwin, Joseph, Heredia, Ian Hanks, Player, Josman, Roger,  & Merida on the classics end, and some great Pixiv yaoi, bara, and shota artists on the contemporary side) .  Some would say I'm a sloth and not brave enough to actually do anything in real life, but I like to think of myself as a juror that is still deliberating.  

Right now, I'm perfectly happy jerking off at home.  I have a 00guage PA that has been earned over many years, and a collection of porn that I'm constantly adding to.  I have joined a lot of the free sites that I know of, and I'm now flush with a bit more cash to explore paying for some sites that specialize in my fields of interest and maybe even support one of my favorite porn stars if I feel like it.  I have more sounds coming and will eventually invest in a Prince Wand.  I'm of an age where the more contemporary communication modes (kik and [deleted]) are still new to me, and i'm a bit befuddled by the user interface.  I haven't indulged in streaming services yet, but I may explore that in the future as I finally shed the guilt of being discovered as a kinklover by particular people and communities in my life.  This particular site seems to hit several of my own interests--poz and bareback sex being the most obvious, but I do love reading a good pozzing story in the fiction section.  Makes me drip.  

My husband has kinks of his own that I let him indulge in, and he doesn't interfere with the ones I let him know about on my end.  I know there's more going on with him than he shares, and I'm okay with that.  I don't share everything that gets my rocks off with him, either.  He doesn't know the depths of my [banned word] interests, and somehow that makes it a lot hotter.  If I happen to find friends that help me play, as I discovered in the leather community, I know that he simply doesn't want to know details already.  And that's good.  Because I can be the evil sadist [banned word] I want to be and not worry.

This is enough for now, I'll share more someday in the future.