Hello there;

Having been an escort for twenty years, I retired 8 years ago, I have done so many men and so many twisted acts of sex it's funny that I have never thought of blogging about the experiences, good and bad, that I have had in my lifetime. Aside from escorting, I was always considered a 'cute dude', (regardless of whether or not I believe it, other guys do so why not capitalize on it?), which just added to the number of conquests over the years. I remember when I lived in Center City Philadelphia, I couldn't walk out the front door of the building and down two blocks to the 7-11 for milk or smokes every morning without being picked up by some hot dude or some hot dude and his boyfriend. I have done everything with the exception of necro and bestiality either for fun or for the 'job'. The numbers are pretty fucking high as well, I know when my friends and I had lost count I was well over 5k in sexual partners. I was an EverReady escort. I could, and still can, shoot about 6-8 loads in a 24 hour period. That left room for 3 tricks a day and still time to pick up something I actually wanted to fuck daily. But with all that sex and all those partners, and some of them were ripped right out of the pages of a magazine, my first was the best for a number of reasons.

I have partied all of my life. Coke, Crystal, Crank, K, GHB, GBL, X, MDMA, Weed and I once even shot Heroin to try that out, talk about a disappointment. None of that every gave me the high or rush I felt every time I was with my first.

My first BF was a secret BF. We grew up together and during the summer of 7th Grade had figured out our attraction for each over a game of 'truth or dare' and were secret boyfriends for nearly 5 years. His name was Kenny Smith, he recently passed away so I have no shame in putting his name in here. For 5 years we couldn't wait to be alone together. It started innocently enough when he was crashing at my place one night, he was always at my house even before any of this started, when we were drinking a bottle of rum and played truth or dare. He dared me to suck his big toe, we were about 12, I did it with a great passion. When it came my turn I was so excited, so afraid and so high with antici pation, that I at first chickened out on giving him the dare. When I saw the same young lust in his eyes when he asked me to go ahead and dare him anything I wanted, I blurted it out. "I dare you to suck my dick". I had already gotten my first blowjob from the girl next door when I was 10 and had lost my virginity to an 18 year-old girl at the age of 9. I always had a big dick since I entered puberty at the end of my 8th year and to some girls, that is all that mattered.

So, there I was full of all these mixed emotions staring into Kenny's blue eyes and watching as he lowered his mouth onto my dick. Three strokes down and he sat back up. My heart was beating a mile a minute, as was his as evidenced by the flushed tone his face took on and he said 'My turn. I dare you to do the same.' and I quickly and happily obliged. Still keeping with the farce, I sat back up and dared us to 69. It was pure magic. There we were 12 years old, blond, sexy, cute and so hot to have each others' cock in our mouths. Side 2 of Ozzy Osbourne's 'Blizzard of Oz' was playing over and over all nite long as we laid there the entire evening 69ing each other and fucking each others' ass cracks, after unsuccessful attempts to fuck each other, only breaking for a cigarette and a shot of rum.

I expected there to be an awkwardness when the sun arose. I had no idea that pattern would repeat with almost all the guys I was with over my lifetime. As if the sun was shining right on their moral compasses and what we did was wrong, but I digress. In the morning, it was as if nothing had happened at all. I was somewhat broken-hearted by this because I had waited 12 long years for that night and its experience. He took off and went home with his little brother. By 4pm that afternoon he was back and wanted to play truth or dare again. That was our pattern for about a year; he'd come over and use the guise of the 'truth or dare' game to initiate our playing. We never spoke of what we were doing. I was not brought up in a very progressive-thinking home and, as it turns out, nor was he, (despite my understanding of his mother whom I thought was a very cool chick).

One day during the fall of the second year, he came over really excited and said he wanted to try and let me fuck him again. I remembered the pain and thought he was insane, but I wasn't going to argue. Being inside that hot boy was all I ever thought about. He was so smooth and so tan and so athletic just like me, it must have been a hot fucking thing to watch because even to this day, when I am beating off I go back to the scene I am about to describe.

Like I said, one day he shows up announcing he wants me to try and fuck him again. After he re-assured me many times of his desire, I finally conceded. Though penetrating Kenny had been my one consuming thought for over a year, I remembered how much it hurt him when I tried to put my rather large-for-my-age cock up his ass that first night and did not want to see him wince again. So he had come up with a way he thought he could manage it, which made me feel so good inside because it was the first time he ever actually confirmed that he thought about me and 'us' outside of my room. We both kept a string of girlfriends, so you never know, right? His notion was to be on his back and me sitting crossed legged. I would lower myself down to suck his cock with mine pointed and poised at the rim of his asshole coated with Vaseline. As I was lowered and sucking his cock voraciously, he used my knees as leverage to pull himself toward me and slowly get my cock inside his tight, virgin teen hole. About 20 minutes into it he had finally pulled himself down the full length of my cock. We were going inch by inch. He pull himself down a bit and stopped and I would keep going down down on him until he felt relaxed enough to slide another inch down my cock. When it was finally completely inside of him he let out the most satisfying sigh/groan that I almost came right there. He here was, this teenage heartthrob of mine with me pulsating deep inside that beautiful ass and looking up at me with an absolute joy and love in his eyes. We rested for a moment while I enjoyed the sight and burned the vision into my mind for all the years to follow. Finally he started working his hips and riding my cock and I immediately lowered myself and resumed sucking him. It wasn't long before he was filling my mouth with his young seed and I was filling his ass with mine.

We fucked or sucked or both every day until that New Year's Eve when we were at a party next door and he pulled me aside and asked if I would give him my ass that evening. We raced over to my house and went into the workroom. It was the only place I could think of that no one would come look for us. He pinned me face to the wall and pulled my pants and underwear down and spit on his hand and lubed my ass then spit again to wet his dick. I remembered the pain too vividly to be able to relax enough but he was patient and I had wanted him to come inside me for so long that I was not giving up easily. Fortunately, or not depending on how you view it, I was brought up in an abusive home so I had learned early to master my pain as to not give my parents the satisfaction of seeing me cry or fold under their brutality. So, there I was with Kenny behind me being so patient and wanting to feel his warm cock inside me so desperately, I took a deep breath and held it and just pushed back with my ass taking his entire cock in one foul swoop. The minute my cheeks met his thighs and my tight virgin asshole clenched down on the full length of his throbbing cock he grabbed my hips and held tight as his knees got weak and almost gave way from the pure pleasure he felt from finally being buried deep inside my muscled, teenage ass. He used his whole body to push me back against the wall and just stayed there pressed firmly against me head to thigh until he felt my ass relax. Then he started very slowly working a little of his cock out and then back into my burning hole. After a few minutes of his being inside me and working my ass so tenderly with his cock, I looked over my shoulder and said 'do it'. He proceeded to fuck me with an energy and excitement unmatched by any man since. Tender, aggressive, dominate and caring, it was the purest fuck I have ever had in my lifetime. Teen lust coupled with exploratory excitement and tempered by a friendship that we had both known most of our lives. He fucked and fucked and offered a reach-around but I brushed his hand away and just wanted him to focus on what he had waited for, for so long.

When he came it was an absolute explosion deep inside of me. I could feel wads of his fuck juice filling me with every spasm of his cock. He had to come about a third of a cup because his cock spasm-ed and spurted for nearly 30 seconds. He was about to pull out when I grabbed his hips and slammed them against my ass as I was pushing back and started to jerk off. I came harder than I had ever come before and I heard him yell in a bit of pain when my ass cheeks clenched down on his cock with each squirt. The come stain is still on the wall and beam of the workroom today.

He showed up twelve years later professing his undying love for me, but had just introduced me to his fiance. I was home visiting with my lover, at the time, and could not offer him any words because I was still crushed about the fiance. Bill, my then lover, knew about Kenny and what Kenny meant to me and was willing to do a 3-way, but we were both HIV+ and I wouldn't have anything to do with it due his getting married. I sent word around to everyone I ran into since I moved back into the area with hopes he would show up again and we could explore each other as adults who knew already how much love existed between us, but word never reached him.

Until recently, I would go down to the workroom and occasionally lean face against the wall and relive my love for Kenny and my first time getting fucked.

Kenny passed away 3 weeks ago by injuries suffered during a bar-fight. I have already lost both of my brothers to suicide and Kenny was the last major part of my childhood, like I said we were best friends and hung together every day before the sex, along with being the guy who made me feel okay about being gay at such an important and pivotal time in my life and being my first everything as far as gay sex, with the exception of kissing and rimming. I shocked our entire community when I finally broke my silence about our love on Facebook on the day I was told of his passing. I have stopped working on my album and still haven't gotten my head back 'in the game' yet. Something I finally feel working itself out of my system as I find myself once again on the Bowflex and sitting down to plan music video shoots.

I'm not sure what my reaction will be the next time the visage of young Kenny pulling himself down the length of my cock as I blow him comes into my mind during masturbation, as it has so frequently done these past 27 years. I know that since he passed, all I have wanted to do was be fucked over and over and over, which is what sparked my joining this site, I was previously a top who could still tap any ass he chose.

I think I will go down to the workroom and rub one out with him now.