So, as some of you know by now I had the honor of being the only bottom for a gang bang hosted by rawTOP on his recent trip to Phoenix. As he said, there were two other bottoms that backed out initially, which is common out here. Being a New Yorker myself I felt comfortable entrusting my naked body and raw hole to the care of R.T. I didn't know what to expect and I did have thoughts about backing out like the other bottoms, but it was something I desperately needed to do and knew I might not get another golden opportunity to do so, especially if I flaked out and ended up with a bad reputation. So I swallowed down all my second thoughts, cleaned my hole out real good and threw on my jockstrap to head over. The place was easy to find and it was kind of quiet so I didn't have that "people are staring" thing as I entered the elevator and walked out onto the floor where his room was. I knocked on the door and he immediately answered and I went it, not sure what to say or do he led me in and we made some small talk before he mentioned he hadn't cum at all yet since arriving in Phoenix so we got myself undressed and he let me suck his nice cock, getting it hard. He had me get onto the bed and proceeded to pump away on my hole ultimately seeding it pretty deep, thus sealing my fate as the cum dump of the evening.

He gave me my choice of blindfolds and hoods, and it seemed to be pretty quickly after putting it on that the knocks started. It was a unique experience laying there on the bed, totally blind, hearing the guys interact with each other. I knew it was only a matter of time before they dug into the the raw hole buffet that was waiting for them on the bed in a rugby style jock strap. Its mostly a blur of unfamiliar cocks in my ass and mouth, the time seemed to go by very quickly, with the exception of the older top that I had met a few months prior that did not cum. He is a nice guy and all, but I knew he was coming from the party ad listing on bbrt and towards the end before he finally moved aside to let another top pump me, he started to talk to me and established his identity, which I suspected already, and it sort of made time stand still and lose some of its extreme excitement. I guess he didn't get that I was blindfolded so I wouldn't know who was breeding me, and that I wasn't there to chit chat but to get loads...

One of the last tops that fucked me, an uncut guy with a nice dick really made my hole drip with cream, between the 6 or 7 loads already in there and his huge load he saved for a few days, I was in a prime mindset to get blasted in the ass the whole rest of the weekend. There is something about cum in my ass that gives me a sort of natural high, it shuts down my over active mind and relaxes my body. I want to do nothing else but feel more dicks in my hole, using those loads as lube and adding more to it. I think if I was in a sling and the chemistry was right I could spend days like that, blindfolded, bound up and just a gaping dripping cum cunt for men to breed endlessly.

After I left the hotel, i went to another guys place, we had met a few times and he was at first eager and exicted to see me, and tasted my nasty cum filled hole. I had to pee real badly but he insisted on fucking me first, giving me a load, making it one more. It was a weird experience though, he had expressed his interests in dating and maybe forming a relationship but while I liked him and love his loads in me (he is poz), I just know I am not the type to be able to handle a long term MONOGAMOUS relationship. I am just wired to be shared and bred. I could be with someone emotionally and romantically, do the normal things a lover does with a lover, but when it comes to closing the rest of the world off sexually, that for me is a step backwards to all the progress I've made over the years accepting what I am and what I know is my sexual purpose in life.

Suffice it to say, by the time I left that night I was feeling kind of down and depressed. He was very distant and cold after a while it seemed almost as if he was punishing me for doing the gang bang. I did not like the way he made me feel and I decided then and there I would most likely never see him again. I want to be with someone who encourages my sexuality, that enjoys helping me get loads in my ass and mouth and will be man enough to hold me in the night with a strong feeling of love and respect afterwards. I know this man is out there, but it is a long journey to find that if I ever do...

The following day I ended up out at another sex party, and did get fucked by two guys in a sling, but neither of them came. The second top, a muscular short masculine guy had me feeling so good swinging back and forth on his cock that I shot my load which kind of made me feel like maybe I had had enough for the night. But I was wrong, I went to the Anvil, Phoenix's only leather bar and had some of a beer while scanning through bbrt. I saw a guy that had invited me over a few times to pnp, but the timing was never right, so I hit him up. He invited me over and I went. We got pretty chemmed up before he started to tease my hole with his huge dick, thick and about 9 inches (poz also). I was so surprised that I could take it after the others, but he was passionate and nasty and there seemed to be a great connection between the two of us. He is the first top to actually get his dick into my second spinchter too which was amazing to feel and have him tell me about. I love a verbal top. Him a total top, and me a total bottom. He came in my ass three times and I literally could have spent another few days just being his fuckhole. Unfortunately, he crashed out and then had an appointment the next day, so I had to take my doped up ass to another friends to let it wear off.

That friend let me chill for a bit but eventually he gave me two loads in my ass, bringing the total up to 16 for the weekend. I know now that I am capable of a lot more than I originally thought. I know also that, now more than ever, for me its about pleasing a top with my ass and getting that load(s). I seriously hope that my experiences as a group bottom continue to be as good and exciting.

Weds, April 4th, 2012 I went for a HIV and Syphilis test. HIV test came back negative, again and will get the results of the other test next week. I have been taking loads for over 15 years now, from neg and poz tops and I don't know what the reason is but I've stayed NEG in spite of that. I don't have any true desire to become poz or even stay neg. I just know I have no resistance to cum in my ass. I want it, I crave it, it makes me feel good and validates my self esteem. Getting a mans load in my ass is a huge compliment sexually that I have become addicted to. I have tried to do the safe sex thing but in the end it always comes back to bareback. I know screening or serosorting my tops is futile as well because people lie or don't know.

With that said, I've been tired all week, with cold like symptoms, running nose watery eyes, muscles are sore. I feel like maybe this time I may end up poz, but then, like all the times in the past, I could end up with another Neg test result, so I just shake it off and figure maybe my body has some form of natural immunity to the infection that is fighting off while I feel this way. Either way, poz or neg, I know I will NEVER stop getting my ass bred bb. I am too far down the rabbit hole to give up on that now...

So thank you rawTOP for letting me experience being a blindfolded gang bang bottom and for making sure no one abused me too badly nor brought any harm to me. I wish there were more gentlemanly pigs out there that liked to do this because I really loved it and could get used to being used every weekend!