This isn't so much a blog as a lengthy profile so, having said that, I'll just get on with it:

I'm a sixty year old (as I write this) bottom guy who happens to be an incomplete paraplegic after a spinal chord injury at age twenty nine so spend most of my time in a wheelchair. I have some use of my right leg but apart from that nothing works from the waist down but I'm fortunate in that I've retained full touch sensation. I love being fucked but never get full satisfaction unless the top cums inside me. From the first time I took a load I knew that I was born for it. As far as I know I'm HIV- and would rather stay that way. It's not so much that HIV frightens me but I have so many other restrictions in my life I could do without the hassle and complications of extra meds etc. As you can imagine, it's not easy finding a guy who wants to fuck a para but I'm fortunate to have a few mates who are happy to oblige. They vary in age from 26 to 63 and, knowing them well, I'm happy to fuck raw with them. No, I'm more than happy, I'm in pig heaven! If I'm lucky enough to hook up with a guy I don't know it's always on the understanding that he'll rubber up. Since joining this amazing site I've not only enjoyed the stories etc but have also digested a lot of important information. One thing I've learned is that it's safer to let a guy who's HIV+ and on meds fuck me that trust someone who claims to be HIV-. This information has cheered me up no end and made me more optimistic for the future. Now all I have to do is find a top who's undetectable and doesn't mind where he dumps his load - even if that happens to be a para's cunt, lol. Well that about wraps it up as far as my profile goes, if anyone wants to know anything feel free to ask. Sex wise, I'll write a little of my experience and what I'm into below:

First queer experience (Gays were just happy people in my youth):

Apart from the occasional experimental wank with school mates my first proper experience was when I was fifteen. I lived in a small town where the only queer I'd heard of was a guy called Dai Black (Black David). His reputation was notorious and all young boys were warned to stay away from him but as hard as I tried I never managed to make contact with him, lol. Anyway, I was on my way home one evening, needed a piss so went to the toilet behind the Town Hall. I had no idea what went on in public toilets at that stage in my life! As I descended the steps into the gloom it was not so much the smell of stale urine that hit me but the movements in the shadows. There seemed to be some hurried scurrying as I entered and as I stood at an empty urinal I could sense that were something incredibly exciting about the atmosphere of the place. I had no idea what was going on but knew that something was and I was definitely in no hurry to piss and leave. It wasn't until my eyes grew accustomed to the dark that I could see the guy at the next urinal was sporting a hard on and wanking it slowly. A quick glance around showed that he wasn't alone. He was staring at my cock which had already become hard with the excitement, and he reached over and took it in his hand. I came after just a few strokes and made a hasty exit, my head spinning. The cottage became my favourite haunt for the next three years until I went away to university and as a young boy I was quite popular and never short of cock to suck.

First fuck:

I went to college in Cardiff when I was eighteen and quickly learned where the best cottages were. If anyone here knows Cardiff they might remember the underground cottage that used to be on the embankment opposite the castle. It was there, just two weeks after I'd moved, that I met a guy who was going to have a big impact on my life. Until then I'd only wanked and sucked guys off and had the same done to me. This guy asked if I wanted to go back to his place and I thought why not, it would be safer than hanging about a public toilet. He was in his thirties, had a solid build and a nice long and thick cock so I thought my luck was in. When we got back to his place he told me to strip and started to strip himself. Until then the only sex I'd had was in toilets with guys who were either fully clothed or had their trousers around their ankles at the most, so to be naked with a guy was mind blowing. He held me, kissed me (another first experience), lifted me up and carried me over to the bed. I'd never experienced such intimacy and was in my element having the privacy to explore his naked body and take his cock in my mouth. After a while he flipped me over on to my stomach and laid on top of me. I obviously guessed what was his intentions were and told him I didn't want to be fucked. Don't get me wrong, I was as horny as fuck but in my mind there was 'queer' and there was 'queer' and this was major 'QUEER'. It didn't seem so bad wanking and sucking a guy, even acceptable in my mind, but fucking was for poofs and I was bi. Yes, I liked girls too. He assured me it was fine and he just rubbed his cock up and down the crack of my arse and humped me, all the while kissing my neck and telling me how cute I was and how I was going to enjoy this. I was really into it and was enjoying every moment. It was when his cock head started nudging at my hole that panic started to set in and I told him firmly that he couldn't fuck me. More reassuring words and humping and nudging at my hole and I was a happy boy, enjoying every moment. I even liked it as he increased the pressure against my hole with each nudge but then he just thrust his cock into my hole with no warning and no lube, not even spit. It felt like a red hot poker was being shoved up my arse I let out a scream, tried to get out from under him and started shouting for him to stop. He pinned me to the bed, told me to shut the fuck up and carried on fucking me. The more I struggled the harder he fucked. He was older and stronger than me and even as I struggled I knew there was fuck all I could do. My protestations and demands turned into tearful whimpering, begging him to hurry up. I knew that the quicker he shot his load the sooner my ordeal would be over. I know now that he was probably getting off on my struggling and I should have got up and left before things got out of hand but I was pretty naive in those days. After he'd finished we both dressed in silence and he opened the door for me to leave. As we stood in the hall a voice came from upstairs asking if everything was alright. He said "yes everything's fine Mam, go back to bed". His fucking mother must have been listening to everything going on and didn't even knock on the door. He opened the front door for me to leave, looked at me and said "fuck off". Gone was the promise of a lift home, he just threw me on the street. I was in agony walking the few miles home (as I would be for the next week) and when I got there just collapsed into bed. I tentatively put a finger to my hole and it was wet and sticky. On inspection it was covered with a mixture of his cum and my blood. The bastard had wrecked my hole. I hardly slept that night, my mind full of what had happened. What I realised but had't noticed noticed at the time was although I was frightened and in agony I still retained an erection and at some point had cum because my stomach bore the dried remains of my own climax. As images of what had happened went round and round in my mind I realised that despite my agony I had a perverse feeling of joy and deep satisfaction knowing that he'd shot his load in my hole and it was still there, deep inside me. I felt strangely fulfilled and complete. I suppose that was the point I became a cum whore. I felt guilty and ashamed for three weeks before the craving for a man's cock in my hole took hold and I started cruising again. The difference now was that I wasn't content with swallowing a guy's cum I needed him to unload deep inside me. Today it would be counted as rape, which is what it was, but at the time I felt it was my fault he was so rough because I wouldn't let him fuck me. As wrong and painful as the event was, whenever I think of it now it's with a mixture of yearning, lust and regret - regret that I won't experience it again. I think it was that experience that would mould my future. Although enjoyable I don't find penetrative sex satisfying unless a guy breeds me. Fuck knows why, but I feel I need him to use me as a cum dump and to leave his DNA in me to become part of me forever. I think being raped also gave me the feeling that my cunt is for the use and ownership of a top and if he wants it then I should give it up to him because that's what it's there for. Then again I'm no psychologist!

Best fuck:

As you'll have gathered by now I'm a bottom but I have done my fare share of fucking in the past, mainly because a guy asked me too rather than it being my instinct to. Although I've always been happy fucking women, with men I need to be the one who gets fucked. The best fuck I've ever had was a quickie in the now closed cottage that was adjacent to the old fire station in Port Talbot. It was a brick built building with no lighting, two rows of urinals placed centrally and facing each other but with a full height dividing wall in between and two stalls at the end. This cottage was a hit and miss affair and was at it's busiest after the pubs closed and the married men would stop by for sex on their way home to their wives. This one particular night I ventured into the darkness to find it empty except for one guy who was standing flat against one of the stall doors, one hand holding on to the top if it and his arse moving back and forth slightly. I thought he was in the process of enjoying a blow job and with nothing better to do I leisurely looked on, enjoying the spectacle. After he'd withdrawn his cock and zipped up he gave me a knowing smile and nodded towards the glory hole in the door. It didn't look as though I was going to get my arse fucked that night so I thought I might as well enjoy a blow job. I slid my cock through the hole expecting it to greeted by a warm tongue but I was presented with a cunt pressed up against the hole. I pressed forward expecting some resistance but my cock just slid straight into it up to the hilt. It was wet, slimy and red hot. He'd obviously been well fucked that night - lucky bastard! It was such a shock, especially the heat of the cunt, that I immediately withdrew, before coming to my senses and thrusting back in. My cock came alive in the confines of such a hot, slimy cunt and although I was a fairly good stayer it only took me a couple of strokes to add my load to the fuck knows how many anon loads were already in there. Short and sweet but ever so fucking horny!

First fist:

It wasn't until I was forty and exploring the wonders of the internet that I realised there was such a thing as fisting. I saw images of hands deep inside a guys arse and I was blown away. What could be more satisfying for a bottom cunt? My first fist came quite unexpectedly. I'd arranged to meet a guy at the Ibis Hotel in Cardiff and things were going well. Some piss play in the shower to break the ice then on to the bed. While we making out he spat into my mouth which was a first for me (yes, for such a wannabe slut I've led a very sheltered life) which I found a huge turn on. After a while he told me to lay on my back with my legs over the edge of the bed then proceeded to play with my hole. I enjoy ass play so was more than delighted when he introduced copious amounts of lube to my hole. His playing was expert, touching all the right spots, so I was a little disappointed when he told me to relax because he wanted to put something in me. I've never been one for toys because for me it's all about cock and getting bred but as I'm a compliant bottom I lay back as I was told. I didn't know what sort of toy he was using but it felt amazing. I'd never felt such sensation in my hole before. I enjoy poppers and love being fed them by a top at his whim, but the sensations I was experiencing felt so good the bottle was at my nose more than it was in my hand. I was totally out of it, overwhelmed by the sensations and the buzz of the poppers, and the next thing I knew my hole started bubbling, then my insides. It was an awesome feeling, like nothing I'd experienced before and haven't since. I learned later that I'd experienced an anal orgasm - fuck I wish I could have another. As I was engrossed in these new sensations the top took my hand and moved it down towards my arse. As I reached my arse my fingers closed around his wrist. But there was no hand! His hand was in my fucking hole!!! I was being fisted!!! They say the first time of everything is always the best and I've found that to be true. I've been fisted many times since and enjoy fisting other guys but it's never felt as good as that first time. The same with anal - although I was raped I've never had such a horny fuck since.

Drugs:

As a student in the early seventies I smoked a few joints and dropped a few acid tabs but stopped when I left and joined the grown up world. I discovered poppers in my late thirties and have been a fan since. The stuff available now is nowhere near as good as the amyl nitrate of the old days. Amyl used to take away all consciousness of ones surroundings, directing all my concentration to my hole and unleashed my inner pig. The new type play havoc with my chest and the hit isn't half as powerful or long lasting but I still enjoy them. I've become curious about trying a booty bump lately. What I've read about it sounds extremely horny and if the opportunity arises I'll probably give it a go. Other than that, tobacco is my only vice.

The future:

So, what next? I'm getting older so that, combined with my physical disability, makes finding willing partners harder. I live in a small town in South Wales so that doesn't help either. As I said at the start, I have a few close friends that I bareback with and I get the rare hook up that I play safe with. I've had good experiences with poz guys but have always played safe - well as safe as a rubber can be. I'm going to look more deeply into undetectable status and if I find that being fucked by a HIV+ guy is safer than being fucked by a 'probably neg' guy I think I'll take the route of trying to find a local guy who's willing to feed me a few loads. If he has a biohazard tattoo them even better. I'm finding the stories of guys being told they're going to be bred, gifted and given a toxic load so horny I want to experience it. I don't want to become HIV+ Intentionally but right now I feel like rushing off to the first breeding party I hear of.