Recently I've been diagnosed hiv positive. Very recently, the past few weeks. And although in the months up until this diagnosis I have engaged in extremely risky sexual acts, and slept with many guys in my most recent trip to NYC, it was still a surprise. "I don't want this" repeated throughout my head over and over again the day the news was revealed. I went through all the usual emotions. It's still fresh in my mind but it's something I have to deal with for the rest of my life. It got me thinking that maybe I should write some of this down, and relive the actions that got me here. Maybe some will find it sexy, or informative, maybe some will be able to relate. Maybe I'll make a few online friends through this, I certainly hope so. So here goes...

I spent three months in New York City, from March to June. Think of it as a very long vacation. It left me with a lot of time on my hands. Time to get into some trouble. Just through idle searching on recon previously, I had came across a few Tops who I thought would make for some interesting meetings. The only thing was I hadn't been fucked in a while, at this point I had only bare backed around 3 or 4 times. So I was very tight and very worried about not being able to accommodate a guy and making him angry. I am naturally very submissive around men I like, and the opposite around girls. I'm bisexual by the way. A fact that was questioned many times in New York, more so by gay men than women. Guys couldn't seem to get their heads around the concept. While I'm not the most manly of men, I'm certainly not feminine or camp nor does that personality type attract me sexually. Although I did find over there they were great company, just not my thing in the bed.

So with this fear in mind, I thought it would be better too seek out oral tops first and work my way to anal. Not long after I settled into the city and got my bearings(living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn) I found myself arranging to meet a "rough throatfucking dom" sounds like my kind of guy! I absolutely love being throatfucked and he was the guy to do it. His face and dick pic matched my strict criteria(he had a face and a working penis) so soon enough I was on my way to meet him. He lived on Christopher St. in Manhattan, for anyone who doesn't know nyc. This is in the West Village a very gay area of the city, along with Chelsea, what was once the hangout spot for all the bohemian musicians of the 60's and 70's, a great area which I frequented constantly. He buzzed me into his apt building. As I climbed the stair my heart began to race. I was getting nervous, after all we didn't exactly get to know each other in our conversation online. It went like this:

"Def interested in brutally throatfucking you, work your skinnyboy throat pussy like a real pussy. I'm free today after 5. Interested to see how much of a brutal face fucking you can take"

What I got from that wasn't much, but I knew he turned me on, and he seemed serious about throatfucking. I made sure not to eat the entire day. Something that comes natural when knowingly meeting up with guys as nerves and excitement usually suppress my appetite. I got to his door and it opened before I could knock. "Hey" he said in his deep southern drawl. I had never found an accent sexy before, but this after all was my first american man, a country I have loved from a distance. Turns out he was from Arizona, his voice was fascinating, deep and rich, but really calm. My nerves turn to excitement immediately. "Come in." He was wearing a white wife beater, black Y-fronts and white socks. He looked very different from his profile picture, much better in fact, which made me question why he hadn't updated it in seemingly some time. I asked him if I should remove my clothes and he told me just the shoes. We then walked into the living area, which was carpeted with a leather couch. He knelled me down on the carpet in front of his bulge. He pressed my face against his cock. Then it went from 0 to 60...

Once he whipped his cock out of his underwear I knew I was in for it. Holy shit, pictures did not do it justice. It was massive, about 8 inches long and curved to the right, but the girth was something else. It really thickened towards the base, with a full bush to bury my face in. No warm up with this guy, he wasn't interested in a gentle blowjob. No, he meant what he said, unlike so many guys on online hook-up sites, he was the real deal. I opened wide and he rammed it straight down my throat, the bend was very noticeable and uncomfortable in this particular position. It was pushing at my throat, like it was trying to break out. He only began to hump once the dick was fully swallowed which was a nice touch and something I think most throatfuckers should do. He had his technique. He was digging for the right spot, to him it was all about the feeling, when you watch throatfucking videos, you can tell what's for show, none of what he did was theatrical, it was all functional. He wanted his dick as deep in my throat as possible, and once he hit the right spot he would, as he said he would, fuck it like a pussy. It was painful and hot at the same time. At one point I tried to breathe as his cock was deep in my throat. This, in addition to his pubes up my nostrils, caused my to gag hard. Eyes started to water, and mouth began to produce some much needed lubricant, after this the whole experience became much more enjoyable. He didn't say much as he was reaming my tonsils only the occasional "Good, goooood!" and grunts of encouragement. He reminded me to cover my top teeth, which I did immediately, hoping I didn't scratch him. He began smashing my face with his pubic bone. He was really enjoying himself, I was trying to endure the pain, and enjoying it also. When he slowly pulled his cock out of my mouth, thick drool dribbled from his cock onto my t-shirt. Shit, I have to walk home like this! But then I looked at his dick. the shaft had a streak of blood on it. Oh no, did my stupid teeth cut him, will he freak out, am I going to get beat for this. He either didn't notice or didn't care, because he started jerking off furiously. He was having a good time, which made me very happy. He then pulled my shirt off, lay me on the couch with my head hanging over the back(the classic). And proceeded to pump my throat like the pussy he said it was. For some reason this position was much more comfortable, it seemed to work better with his curved. Before I knew it, he was about to cum, his thighs squeezed my face and drove his dick deep while cumming. No pulling out. I didn't even get to taste it. Straight down the hatch. He tapped me with a few smacks on the cheek as if to say "good job boy" then sat down on the couch, exhausted and happy. He jerked his semi for a while while I knelt at his feet and he asked me a few questions about Ireland, why I was here, small talk. He told me he really enjoyed it and would like to do it again. Yes! Validation, something I always aim for is a guy wanting to meet again, someone who has had so much fun with me that he'd repeat the session if given the chance. So far, everyone I've met has wanted to meet up again, not everyone actually has, but it's good enough for me that they want to. I asked to use his bathroom and as I was washing out my mouth I finally found out where the blood came from. I had bust my top lip while he was bashing his groin against it. Damn, my two front teeth. I thought as long as he had fun, I'm happy.

I left the apartment optimistic about the rest of this trip. However I had absolutely no idea what lay ahead of me. Bathhouses, breedings, 3somes, orgies and being introduced to the strongest drug I've ever tried, crystal meth!!

Okay, so this is my first blog, first time really talking about a sexual encounter. Please let me know if you liked it or not, or want to hear more about my stay in New York. It really was an experience with a lot of firsts, which feels good to be sharing with you guys. Thanks for reading.

BH