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t’s not about hating myself. It’s not because I have “daddy issues.” And it’s definitely not because I’m broken. I crave being degraded because in that moment—when I’m on my knees, mouth full, body aching—I feel more than I do anywhere else.More wanted. More filthy. More honest.There’s no pretending when I’m being used like a cocksleeve, called a whore, spat on, pinned down, and told I’m nothing but a hole. That’s not shame. That’s freedom. Freedom to be fucked without limits. Freedom to stop performing “pretty.” Freedom to be the dirty, needy little thing I actually am inside. When he laughs at how I am just a little “pussy", I get from the word slut, my hole clenches. When he spits on me and calls it “affection” I melt. When I’m told I’m only good for being bred and ruined, my whole body lights the fuck up. Degradation doesn’t humiliate me—it releases me. It strips away the surface-level niceties and gives me permission to belong to the desire. To him.I don’t want to be worshipped .I want to be wrecked. Feral. Fucked. Forgotten until I’m needed again. And if he makes me cry in the process? Even better. I’ll thank him with my mouth full.

We talk a lot about degradation. About being used. Dehumanised. Treated like an object. And it sounds brutal, filthy, even disturbing from the outside.But sometimes, being “just a hole” isn’t about being nothing. It’s about finally being enough — exactly as you are. Because in a world where we’re constantly expected to be more — more capable, more composed, more wanted, more worthy — there’s something intoxicating about being reduced to one thing:Use. No pressure to perform. No need to impress. Just skin, heat, wetness — and the raw satisfaction of knowing you’re being used because it feels good for him. It’s not about hating yourself. It’s about being so safe in your submission that you can disappear into it.To be used not in spite of who you are — but because giving him that pleasure makes you feel whole.Because when your body becomes his release… when you’re filled, fucked, dripping, ruined —you’re not worthless. You’re wanted. Intensely. Selfishly. Completely. I want your hand around my throat, your cock buried deep, and your voice in my ear growling that I’m just a hole for you to fuck. Because when you do, I stop thinking. Stop performing. And start feeling everything — raw and real and filthy. If you’ve ever felt this too.. like being used is the only time you stop overthinking — I want to hear it.

Jackson—July, 2024 The second Saturday of the month, I went back to the bookstore with the play area and the medical exam table. Saturdays there had been really good. This one continued that tradition, but it also had a very different feel. The parking lot was filling as I arrived… I walk in. It is dark after the bright, just-before-noon sun outside. My eyes adjust. Men are milling. And sucking each other. Everywhere. It takes a few moments for me to realize that I, as old as I am, seem to be the youngest man here. I settle down where I can see several screens (and two men getting sucked on the huge couch across from me) and whip out my hardening dick. I don’t have to wait long. A man in a straw fedora and an obscene bulge in his walking shorts, comes over. He grabs my cock and jerks. I ask him to ease up. He does. Now it feels good. He keeps leaning in—you know he wants to suck it—but can’t seem to bring himself to do it. “Let’s go into the cabana,” he hisses. I shake my head. My refusal gives him the courage to bend down and take me in his mouth, which feels 100 times better than his hand. He sucks me, bent over, not kneeling, until another man sits in the chair next to mine so he can watch. Straw Fedora is out of there like a shot. The new guy gives me even better head. A third man comes up. He is a regular here. I have had him on my dick every time. He respectfully waits until sucker number two stands up. “You’ll love that dick,” the departing guy tells him. “Oh, I know…” He kneels and I close my eyes. He has the best skills so far today. My balls are soon covered with an amazing amount of spittle… * And so it goes. I’m sucked, sitting in the chair by the medical exam table. I am sucked in the overstuffed chair in the small porn room—this time with an audience of masturbating men. But no one wants to let me suck their dick. I even fuck a throat through the gloryholes off the slurp ramp. I settle on the big couch. A man, a good ten years older than I, asks politely if he can suck my cock. I nod. He strips naked and settles down between my spread legs. He is the best, so far. He can take me to the root effortlessly. He slobbers on my balls and spends a long time drying them with his tongue. He moans deliciously whenever he gets some precum on his tongue. Lots of other men stand behind us and watch and knead themselves. One sits next to me and rubs my nipples through my A-shirt. My sucker laps up another gush of precum. “You know,” he murmurs, “if your cock were to drip ‘anything’ into my mouth, it would be fine with me.” I nod. I would love to feed him piss, but I am not nearly hydrated enough yet on this hot day in July. He dives back down, filling his throat with my incredibly hard shaft… * I only get up from the couch when my expert sucker’s knees grow tired. I jerk alone for a moment in the small room, swigging constantly from my water bottle. And it’s working. I can feel my bladder fill. The nipple tweaker walks in. Without asking, he goes to his knees and sucks my cock. Another expert. These men have perfected their technique over 50+ years of active cock worship. I am very happy. He pulls off me. And is more direct. “I want your piss, too.” He’s timed it right. We go into the bathroom. He kneels in front of the urinal. “It may be strong, on this hot day.” “I don’t care.” I shoot a quick splash into his mouth. He gurgles it down happily. I give him more. Straight down his throat. For the first time, his exposed cock gets really hard. The stream peters out and he licks me clean, before thanking me enthusiastically. “So hard to find feeders,” he says standing up, with a slight assist from me. * I am back at the glory hole, standing on the slurp ramp and feeding my dick to some unknown sucker. He’s fine. And I like not seeing him for a change. Straw Fedora arrives. He plays with my balls and takes his own cock out to jerk. I step to the side and he feeds the unknown sucker his short but fat cock. We alternate for the guy—short, long, short, long, until I am ready to move on. I find the guy, who first brought up piss, sitting in the small room. “I have something for you.” He knows just what I have. He follows me into the bathroom. It’s his turn to kneel in front of the urinal. I suddenly wonder if these two piss guys are partners. I muse on that as my cock spurts the pale gold nectar into his eager mouth. He erects too, as I empty my bladder down his throat. He touches himself once, and spills his cum on the damp floor… * Things are winding down. A man younger than I appears. The first I’ve seen. He is pushing 40—and is a light blond bear. He comes over. He tells me this is his first time here. “Are there slings?” I shake my head. “You want the exam table.” I lead the way. He gets undressed and gets on the table. I rim him, but I can tell that being on his back will make for a bad entry—he’s one of those men where his hole is closer to his spine. I tell him he should stand and bend. He eagerly complies. I sink into him now with no issues. “Fuck, you’re bigger than I thought.” He pants and is soon taking me like my dick were no bigger than a breadstick. After all the mouths, it’s great to be in an ass. And a wet, clingy one at that. I am going to shoot any time. “Cum in him,” says the regular who sucked me early on. “Fill up his ass.” He comes over and pulls apart the guy’s ass cheeks for me. My cock sinks deeper. The Bear groans. I groan. The sucker moans, as if I were fucking him. And I’m there. I drop a load after my three hours of edging with countless men’s mouths. The Bear tightens down, milking every drop out of me. I marinate for a minute, then pull out. The Bear turns and cleans me up—the last mouth on my cock after so many others I’ve lost count… The original is here: From My Side of the Sling: Feeding Time August 3, 2024

Hello beautiful, A couple of things on my mind tonight. Firstly, I was talking to Suf about my cruising tendencies. He hasn’t really explored that world yet, aside from one experience in a dark room in Amsterdam. He said he’d like to learn more next time we meet—and I’m more than happy to share, hehe. He also mentioned that he’s going to Beefcake tonight, which is a sex event in the city. I was so intrigued I looked it up. It’s basically a DJ club night with go-go dancers, but what really caught my attention was the dark room where sex is permitted. It sounded… very exciting. Phil also mentioned that he’s going out tonight, and it hit me that he’s the type to be out every Friday night. And then I turned inward and realized—since the breakup, I haven’t been invited out on a Friday or Saturday night at all. But here’s the thing: we’ve never really had that kind of friend group, have we? The ones who go clubbing regularly. And even if we were invited… would we even go? We’re the type who prefer silence. We like watching movies with people, playing games, having deep chats—the quieter kinds of connection. So what am I feeling? I don’t feel left out, or jealous that others are out partying. Tonight, I stayed home and practiced piano for three hours, then sat down to write this message to you before bed. That’s about as quiet as a night can get—and honestly, I love it. I just think we’re wired differently from the people who thrive in clubs and crowds. We find magic in stillness. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The world needs both kinds. I’ve also been thinking a lot about what to do with piano and singing moving forward. At first, I wanted to keep both. Lately, I keep flipping back and forth: keep one? keep both? drop one? I do have the budget to maintain both, and I’m honestly getting the hang of managing them. It’s just… I’m not sure they serve the same purpose anymore. I started singing so I could understand how the voice works—so I could really appreciate the art. And now, knowing how pitch works, how a song is meant to be sung, and how much work goes into it—it’s given me confidence. I can pick up a mic now and know I’m doing it somewhat right. That’s huge. Piano, on the other hand, gives me joy. There’s something beautiful about the grind of it. It challenges me in the same way video games do—skill, structure, mastery—and it keeps me company when I’m bored. But what’s the end goal of it? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s just to one day stumble upon a public piano, sit down, and play something beautiful. If I do that, I’ll cross it off my bucket list. That would be incredible. My thoughts are a bit scattered tonight, aren’t they? You know what that means? Bedtime hehe. Sleep well, buddy. Chat soon xx

Hello beautiful, I’m still talking to this guy I recently met on Hinge—his name’s Jan—and I want to spend a bit of time reflecting on him today. He’s 28, which is right on the borderline for the youngest age I’d consider dating. So far, our conversations have been pretty casual. We talk about music, movies, books, travel, cooking—simple things. I asked him if he ever reflects on his feelings or does any kind of introspection, and he said he only tends to do that during difficult periods in his life. Right now, things are going well for him, so he hasn’t felt the need. To be honest, it feels like we’re just treading shallow waters. We don’t really dive deep into life or feelings, and I’m not sure what to make of that. I mean, I’ve got a few older friends who I can go there with—though not always for long—and of course, we’ve always got our old man when we need to unpack the deeper stuff. I also get that a partner doesn’t have to be everything for us. But I think about people like Phil or Suf, who’ve clearly lived through a lot and know how to wade through life’s heavy stuff, but also know how to laugh and take things lightly. I don’t think Jan’s quite there yet. Maybe it’s his age. Maybe it’s just who he is. I’ve got this gut feeling that what I see now is what I’ll get. To be fair, we haven’t met in person yet—we’re hoping to catch up sometime next week—so we’ll see. But you and I, we’ve learned to trust our gut, haven’t we? I guess the real question I’m sitting with is: If he’s not someone who naturally leans into emotional depth, am I going to be okay with that? I’m someone who shares a lot about my day, especially how I feel about my day. More than anything, I want a partner who can hold that space—someone who can listen, give me a hug, and just be present with me in it. I don’t know if Jan can do that. And if he can’t, it means I’ll have to find another outlet, which probably means I won’t be able to share a large part of myself with him. We’ve been through this before, haven’t we? With Kevin. Where I couldn’t share my thoughts fully and he eventually felt lonely, isolated—even while in a relationship. I can already see how that kind of emotional gap could create slow, subtle drift. Still, I’m going to let the universe surprise me with this one. I don’t want to overthink it and accidentally manifest the worst-case scenario before I’ve even given it a real shot. But don’t be surprised if I come back later and say, “I told you so.” 😞 Stay awesome, buddy. Chat soon xx

Hello beautiful bastard, Today, I was so sure I was going to drop my piano lessons. I could feel my body burning out from juggling too many things at once. I’d already found a new piano teacher—his name is Max—and I’d paid for the lesson in advance, so I couldn’t cancel. I figured I’d just go and see how it went. You never know, right? If he was really good, maybe I’d stick with it. And you know what? He was really good. What I liked about him was how professional he was from the start, and how quickly he assessed where I was at skill-wise. We worked on moving up and down the piano using pivoting fingers, and he was patient and kind throughout. He even managed to pack a lot into a 30-minute session, which left me feeling good about myself and actually excited to play piano when I got home. I think that’s a good sign. I still think about Nhan sometimes—my old piano teacher. I don’t feel bad about no longer being his student. I think he has a lot of great stuff to teach, but his style is more advanced, and I don’t think I’m in a place right now to fully absorb what he offers. I do plan to come back to him one day, whether that’s in Term 4 or even Term 1 of next year—because what he taught me stuck, and that really means something. So yeah, I’m still juggling a lot, but for the first time in a while, I’m actually enjoying it, buddy. I think my nervous system was just shocked by all the newness happening at once. Plus, I haven’t really had a weekend to myself in a while—it’s been pretty packed, including the one coming up. I think I just need a weekend for me. A quiet one. Just to breathe, to relax, and enjoy life at my own pace. Remember to be kind to yourself, yeah? Chat soon xx

Hello beautiful, I had my third singing lesson today, and it went really well. I still think Elissa, my vocal coach, is excellent at explaining concepts and taking things nice and slow to build my confidence—especially with pitch. She knows exactly where I’m going wrong and is able to correct things quickly before they spiral, which I really appreciate. She’s been hinting that maybe doing both singing and piano at the same time might be a bit much—and honestly, I’ve been thinking the same for a while now. That said, one of the other piano teachers I reached out to got back to me. His name is Max, and I’m seeing him tomorrow. I’m curious to see what fresh perspective he brings to the table. You know what, buddy? When I was practicing piano and tackling a new song, I kept remembering the things Nhan—my current piano teacher—taught me. And I applied them. His teachings still echo in my head, even now. I know he might not be the most professional teacher out there, but that must mean something, right? That a part of me still wants him to guide me? I’m just sitting with that thought tonight. I’m also considering putting piano on pause for a little while as I build up my foundation in singing, since that was the original goal. I think I’ve learned enough to support my singing for now, and I can always come back to piano later, when I’m not juggling two things at once. That’s where my head’s at tonight. As always, stay awesome buddy. Chat soon xx

Hello beautiful, Two things I want to talk about tonight: dating and piano. I’ve gone back into the red sea of dating. There’s a question I used to ask myself whenever I exited a relationship: “How do you know when you’re ready to date again?” It’s an interesting one because the answer is different for everyone. You kinda feel it in your bones. Back then, I used to think I was ready when I felt excited to meet new people again. And maybe that was true at the time. But I’ve realised now that after a breakup, we often gravitate towards others—sometimes new, sometimes old—just for company, to feel desired, to feel special again. I think that’s what drew Phil and Suf to me. Having someone close, someone to reflect their worth back to them. And over time, as they begin to rebuild their confidence and self-worth, the relationship shifts. I become a good friend. A supportive character in their next chapter. But these days? If you asked me that same question—how do I know I’m ready to date again—I think I’d say this: I’m ready when I’m willing to risk being hurt again by love. That’s not something I could’ve said a few months ago. Back then, I was still healing. Still licking wounds that were too raw to reopen. But I’ve been hurt so many times since the breakup in January, and still—I keep standing. I keep choosing love. And I want you to remember that, buddy. Love is worth it. Always. Now, onto piano. I’ve been thinking about changing my piano teacher. I’m not sure he’s the best at explaining things. Sometimes when I ask him questions, you can see this internal tug-of-war—he wants to answer, but he holds back, afraid it’ll lead us off track. Other times, I can tell he knows the answer, but just struggles to articulate it clearly. That’s why I’m not sure he’s the right teacher for me. But… I also like how strict he is, especially with timing and using the metronome. He keeps me in check. I’ve noticed I get a little cocky sometimes—skipping ahead to harder chapters instead of mastering the basics. He’s the one who reels me back in, like a grown-up catching a cheeky kid sneaking cookies before dinner. For that one hour, he manages to rein me in, and oddly enough, I don’t mind. It’s a kind of unprofessional, slightly dysfunctional relationship—but weirdly, I enjoy it. It makes the lessons feel human. For example, he wants me to learn the next three songs in Book 1—which I find super easy—so instead, I went rogue and bought Book 2. I started learning pieces from there and, surprise surprise, I’m struggling. I can already picture him pulling out the classic “I told you so,” and weirdly, I’m kind of looking forward to it—with a mischievous little grin on my face. I could find a more professional teacher, sure. But I have a feeling the lessons would be less fun. So… there’s the dilemma. I think I’ll sleep on it for a couple more nights. My next lesson’s coming up soon anyway. In the meantime, stay awesome, buddy. Chat soon xx

Another Real Experience - Jersey Boy Gives In To Temptation I used to play fairly regularly in and around Jersey City, for a while there were a good number of party guys living there with a lot of excellenT group scenes. It became evident after a year or so of playing with several guys down there regularly that despite being New Jersey's third largest city, AND directly across the Hudson and only a one stop PATH train ride from Manhattan, that it was still a pretty small pnp community where every guy knew everyone else. I played a lot with a guy in Journal Square, a hot guy I'll call Trace who was an exotic dancer/escort/masseuse. He was of mixed Greek and Native American heritage, wore his very black hair long with a full beard, looking very much like a pirate - but a pirate that was 5'6". That said, he had a ripped body and a big cock that looked even bigger on his small frame. He hired out exclusively as a top but when "off-duty" he liked to switch off - he liked my leather daddy style and we would blow clouds or get to the point and then play with our mutual fetish gear, get very oral and then he'd want to get fucked. Being a bottom and the whole "cleaning out" process was new to him, so this sometimes resulted in some unpleasantness, but we generally had fun, and soon enough he had other guys coming to join our sessions. Since group scenes are very much my favorite, I was pleased. Frequently these additional guys include Donnie, his candyman, a light skinned African-American kid who claimed to be more straight than bi or gay, and generally got blown while he was there or he topped one of the other guys... ocassionally though, if he was done his business for the evening he'd get very spun and would suck cock or even ocassionally get fucked. He never let Trace fuck him, claiming his cock was too big. Again, this only happened if he had no more business and around guys he knew very VERY well. There were other times when he'd bring guys with him - straight guys from the neighborhood who had done a lot of business with Donnie. White, Black, Latino, Asian, all kinds of guys but generally young, a bit street tough (which doesn't impress me, but works for lots of guys) and were tweaked enough that the offer of a long hot blowjob was irresistable to them, even if it was from another guy. Three of Trace's regular play buds - Jake, Aaron and Carlos - were totally into this. They loved getting on their knees and sucking off these "guests" of Donnie's. Trace and I would do some good oral work as well, but it was understood that we were NOT the subservient type and would brook NO disrespect or trash talk. We'd often wind up topping Jake, Aaron or Carlos while they performed oral duties on the guests, and some seemed to get off on it. Carlos was a thin somewhat effeminate latino with a heart of gold who was a devout bottom who could ocassionally throw an amazing fuck himself; Jake was a white blond buzz-cut gas-station attendant with a goatee, tats all over his ripped hairless body an amazing ass and small but generally hard dick; and then there was Aaron, whom I knew from before meeting Trace - a closeted divorced white Italian bi-guy - cute face, dark hair, a trifle chubby but sexy, with a beautiful ass that could take any cock or hand or arm or toy or (yes) baseball bat! And he was raising a 9 year old son on his own, living with his parents and working for a bank where they though he was the straightest guy on the planet. One of the "guests" that showed up a few times was a Construction Worker named Ralph. He was actually Jake's cousin, and got into this whole thing accidentally - somehow stumbling into Jake and Donnie and being introduced to Miss T, only to discover that his cousin Jake - so butch and dangerous looking - enjoyed getting high then sucking dick and getting his ass plowed bareback by whatever cocks he could get. Stunned, Ralph apparently just watched the first two times but then agreed to come to Trace's place for some head and good T. Ralph was 25 at the time, a tall trim white guy about 6'3", shaved head and scruff patch below his mouth, hairy body (reddish blond body hair) a lot of tats, nice arm and leg muscles with a long thin cock and a high muscular ass. (Regular readers will know where this is going...). There was supposed to be a girlfriend around somewhere. He very much turned me on, and I would be first to suck him each time he came to Trace's - he seemed to enjoy my oral attention as well as BJs from Trace, Carlos, Aaron, and even ocassionally Donnie - but never his cousin Jake. Ralph would watch while I fucked the other guys and ocassionally got fucked myself. The first time he watched Trace fuck me, and saw me actually enjoying getting that big piece in my hole, his eyebrows nearly went over the top of his head. He coughed out a cloud of T smoke he'd been inhaling, and said, "seriously dude, you LIKE that? I thought you only played the man's part, not the bitch's part!" I told him that first, yes, I liked it; second, yes I preferred to top but really, really preferred both in the same session; and third, never call me a bitch if you want to keep all of your teeth. "If a guy WANTS you to call him names like that, it's cool, but getting fucked doesn't make you any less a man." He seemed very thoughtful. I noticed he also watched very intently whenever anyone was being rimmed. Eventually Trace's place was too small for some of our gatherings and Aaron presented us with a solution - his parents would be out-of-town for a week and we could come play in their basement that first Friday night as soon as his kid went to bed. Jake had let us all know that Ralph would be coming and thought he might be brave enough and ready enough to top someone that evening. We met up at Trace's place and got our supplies together, and all took some little blue magic to stay hard while blowing clouds with a few of us trading shotguns as we waited for Aaron to call and let us know his son was asleep and we could come over. The call came sooner than expected, and we headed out to the two cars - mine and Jake's - and somehow I wound up driving Ralph and Donnie while Jake drove Trace and Carlos. During the drive Donnie got Ralph higher while we talked about what he might be into doing that night. He was obviously very turned on and his inhibitions were almost completely eliminated - mentioning that he had really cleaned up in the shower so he could have someone rim his hole. We wound up arriving at Aaron's parents' house first - a suburban split level with the lower level playroom all set up for a sex party... sling, rim-seat, play mats, toys and gay bb porn on the big screen. (I kept wondering exactly how Aaron would ezplain this if his kid woke up and came down for a glass of water...). Jakes car arrived about 10 minutes later. Seems that he picked up a couple of other guys, Tyrell and Matt, two somewhat thuggy down-low types, one black the other white. We all got naked and blew clouds some more clouds , and I wound up by chance or someone else's design with Ralph mostly to myself while Trace, Carlos, Jake and Aaron played up to these new guys and Donnie busied himself preparing all of our enhancements for the evening. Ralph even accepted some shotguns from me, and when I got him to sit in the rimchair, he inhaled some Maximum Impact while I gave him his first salad tossing. He had a beautiful ass, clean and great-tasting, and we both really enjoyed it. We moved over to a couch to let others use the chair and I gave Ralph a nice blowjob while he sucked down somemore clouds. He told me to stand up while he stayed seated, and then looked up at me and said softly, "I better try this before I chicken out", then took the head of my cock and part of the shaft into his mouth. It was only for a few minutes, and it was very inexpert, but he was enthusiastic and I was so turned on by the situation that I almost shot. Amazingly, Donnie was the only one to notice this and sauntered over holding something behind his back with his cock dangling in front. Ralph actually sucked it in for a few licks before he looked up at me and told me he wanted to fuck me. Donnie pulled the two needleless syringes from behind his back and said that a booty-bump each would get us in the mood for fucking, saying he'd do me while I did Ralph. I got down on all fours in front of Ralph and pushed his legs up. I started to rim the young stud's hole again while Donnie rimmed mine and then I inserted the syringe in his hairy pucker while Donnie inserted one into mine. A minute or two later and Ralph and I were soaring. Donnie told us he'd be back and went to do some more chemistry. Ralph asked me to "sit on his dick" and I responded "gladly". He remained seated on the couch and picked up the Tina pipe as I straddled him and aligned my hole over his very hard - thanks to Vitamin V and his enthusiasm - supposedly straight cock. He pulled my head into his and blew his cloud into my mouth. As I sank to his balls he hissed "yessssssssss". We started a slow grinding fuck, that frankly felt amazing, and sure enough the shotgunning turned into face-sucking deep kissing. I told him he felt amazing and smiled but asked like before "and you really like that?" I responded enthusiastically "yes". We fucked like that for quite a while, eventually just slowly pumping as he spoke again. Speaking softly, he told me that this whole scene he'd been watching these few times turned him on immensely and he was constantly thinking about it. He had thought he might be gay when he was in his early teens, but the only gays he knew were very flamboyant - which was not him at all he confessed - and that his father and brothers and buddies all considered gay guys to be beneath contempt, failed men who wanted to be women. Since none of this seemed to apply to him, he decided that he could not be one of THEM and tried to forget his interest and just concentrate on girls. Having watched us these couple of times, and having been lectured by me, he realized that gay sex was no threat to his masculinity. He'd been hoping that tonight he'd get high enough and brave enough to try it all, and said he'd even looked up how to clean his hole out, and had practiced a few times sticking something up his butt. I looked him in the eye, squeezing his cock in my hole, and said "are you saying what I think you're saying?" and looking like a lost little kid he said "I know my ass isn't as hot as Carlos' or Trace's or Aaron's but do you think you'd want to fuck me for my first time?" Seriously? He had to ASK? And personally, I thought his ass was HOTTER. Donnie had quietly moved back our way and caught the last part of this. He leaned down and whispered to us that he could make that easier on Ralph but first told us to suck his cock between us - Ralph looked at the caramel colored tool between us and smiled, we kissed it and traded sucking it for a few minutes until Donnie said he'd better go get what Ralph needed for his virgin ride. "That gives me time to finish fucking YOU," Ralph said and suddenly started a piston fuck that despite me being on top nearly blew me off his lap. Donnie returned with some cups with a bit of G and juice which we all downed, then points - he did me first, then Ralph and then himself - Ralph coughed and then whispered "do me man". I knelt on the floor with him on the edge of the couch. Pulling his long legs up, I tongued his soon to be cherry-popped manhole while he moaned and we heard Donnie cough. Bringing Ralph's legs to rest over my shoulder, I quickly used just a bit of lube and placed the head of my cock against his now pliant hole. Donnie had him suck on a cloth covered with Max Impact and slowly but surely my cock sank into his warm snug hole. Ralph began to moan as I slid in, taking a few minutes, but finally feeling my balls slapping on his butt. His own cock was back to being rock hard and felt amazing pressed up against me. I started to pump slowly when he nodded at me, and shortly he sighed "so good"... that's when I felt a welcome invasion between my own legs as Donnie knelt behind me and slid his shaft into me. We fucked like that for a few minutes, until Ralph said he was a bit uncomfortable and could he sit on me the way I did on him? Donnie pulled out of me and Ralph sat on my lap and onto my cock - a bit too fast if the wideness of his eyes was any sign - but Donnie was there putting the glass cock to our mouths and we all traded clouds as Ralph rode my cock and really started to enjoy himself. Donnie presented his cock for our inspection and again we spent time kissing each other and the cock between us. After a bit, Ralph turned around to a reverse cowboy so he could suck Donnie's cock much more efficiently and deeply. This was when the other guys FINALLY noticed what was going on (see what two big thug cocks can do to distract some guys?)... there were a number of gasps, and some complaints that we were "ruining a top", but they eventually got over it. We did mix and match more after that - I fucked Trace, Aaron, Jake and amazingly, Donnie, and got fucked by Carlos (!), and by Tyrell and Matt who were wonderfully large, but lacking a bit in finesse. I think I blew and rimmed everyone at some point, and got fucked by and fucked both Ralph and Donnie again. I got to watch Ralph turn insatiable, sucking every cock there (if not expertly) including his cousin - getting into a hot 69 with his cousin Jake while getting fucked by Donnie while Jake was fucked by me. Ralph also fucked Aaron and then fucked his cousin Jake - and he GOT fucked by not just Donnie and me, but by Carlos (again surprising) and briefly by Jake and Trace. Tyrell tried to get in him, but was just too big, and Ralph was just a bit too sore - the spirit was willing but the flesh was just too new at this! On the way back to Trace's at 4:30AM or so, I told him to try a good soak in the tub either now or when he got up the next day, and to not be surprised if his ass was really sore from all this. Amazingly, I got a call from Ralph early the next afternoon saying he "needed more". I drove down to Jersey City and met him at Trace's and the three of us fucked round-robin style for a few more hours, blowing some clouds, watching bb porn and reliving Ralph's amazing experience the night before. Ralph eventually wound up getting into a relationship with a Realtor friend of mine in Hoboken before they moved to the Keys. His deflowering will always be a great memory for me!

TURNS ME ON, HAS ME HAS ND HIM A PIPE ASS UP AND I TAKE HIS RAW COCK AND CUMWHILE HE BLOWS CLOUDS AND CUMS IN MY HOLE AND I TASTE HIS CUM ASS TO MOUTH ROUTINE IS HIS THING AND I STILL ENJOY THE FUCK

Another Real Experience - How Big Are Those Cocks? This is another true party story from about a year and a half ago. A long term play buddy of mine on the Upper West Side had started using his large floor-thru apartment near Columbia University as almost a full-time party location and meeting place. Additionally as time went by, he began to also help guys find the potions and combinations that enhanced and ramped up their sex experiences. My buddy Jack was a shorter white guy, with a steel grey buzzcut and goatee - he was around 60, but kept a very muscular body with just a bit of belly - he had a nice cock and a beautiful ass. He still liked to play himself, but sometimes was so busy setting things up and dealing with the guys who came simply for favors that sometimes he could not have the sex sessions he planned... and someone else might benefit from what he'd set up for himself. That's what happened to me that fateful Friday. So one summer friday, responding to an invitation for a play session he'd set up with me the day prior, I headed to his place and arrived around 5pm. Jack figured we'd play a bit early, he'd break for a while to take care of those arriving in the early evening for favors, then begin playing again when he was through - while I could continue with any other guys who happened to be staying for his evening play party. When I got there, he was already mostly naked with some leather, so I also got out my harness, metal cockrings, armbands and the like and pulled on a jock-strap until things really got started. He had two adjoining rooms, the smaller had a daybed type affair and his computer desk the other larger room a very big bed and most of the porn screens. We sat by his desk, puffing on a huge glass bong and shotgunning while we chatted and he let me know some of what was going on that evening to come. He also gave me a vitamin "v", and I started getting hard watching porn over his shoulder as we chatted and puffed up. I needed to piss after a bit (and as we were not yet playing, I didn't think there'd be any issue with me getting rid of a bit) and he said to just make sure I knocked before going into the bathroom as there was someone showering and cleaning up in there. He also told me to take my time as he still had a few IM's and E-mails to respond to before he could take a break. Cool, I thought, I can wait outside if they're shy and show-off if a bit if they are not. Headed to the bathroom on the other end of the apartment - down a LONG corridor past the front door, then through the living room, into the kitchen and then to the bathroom which adjoined the third bedroom located all the way to the rear of this long narrow apartment. I knocked on the closed bathroom door, and heard a familiar voice ask who it was... I called out my name through the door and heard "just a minute, then I'll open up..." While I was waiting, the door to the bedroom opened and Derrick, the guy renting that room from Jack, opened the door naked with a bong in one hand and torch in the other. Derrick was a wiry very white guy with a ripped body, lots of ink and a damn big cock. He was also a very popular DJ and party organizer, and also an escort. "I heard it was you out here, and I wanted to talk to you a second... here" he said, handing me the bong and using the torch to melt the T. As I was shotgunning him, the door to the bathroom opened and he hustled me inside. The occupant was Craig, a 20-something African American guy with a soccer player type body and nice size cock. He was from the same part of the south Jack was from. Craig was a nursing student, and was staying with Jack partly as delivery man, partly as assistant, and partly as fuck buddy. I took my piss as we three shared shotgun hits from the bong. Derrick told me he was glad I was there, because he had set up something for the evening that was really special for Jack, fulfilling a fantasy that Jack had been wanting to try for many years. He was glad I was there because he himself could not stay long (escort clients, you know) and Craig would likely be in-and-out, so Derrick was pleased that there'd be someone with real control there who could make sure the scene didn't get out of hand. Had to admit I was damn curious at that. While Craig pulled out some Testosterone Gel (this was just before they started making an issue about them) and started rubbing some into my muscles and his own, Derrick continued, telling us he had set up a gang bang for the evening with three EXTREMELY hung black top guys. All claimed also to be straight but just liked a walk on the wild side occasionally, especially when lots of party favors were involved. We all took a few more hits off the pipe while we each took turns giving each of the other guys a quick suck and a quick rimjob. We didn't want to leave Jack alone for too long, and Derrick was "working" in a short time, so he headed back to his bedroom while Craig and I went forward to Jack's two adjoining rooms in the front of the apartment. Jack and Craig and I got onto the daybed and sex play got started. All three of us are vers, with both Craig and I leaning more to top and Jack more to bottom. Still in our first round, we totally round robin-ed with each of us sucking and rimming each of the other two, each of us getting fucked by the other two and each of us fucking the other two. A very nice start to the evening, let me tell you... We took a break as John had guys coming very shortly for party favors and Craig was going to need to get things ready for a delivery run. I kicked back watching porn and we puffed the pipe some and a few guys came through... some heading right back out, others hanging a bit to see if they'd be invited to hang for a bit and get into the scene. After a bit, Derrick came into the room with some guys behind him. Derrick announced that Jack's "birthday present" from him was here, and Jack looked like a kid in a candy shop. One guy, Alastair, was a lean lighter skinned Jamaican guy with dreads and a goatee and appeared to be in his 40s; Pierre was a shorter darker Haitian guy who was neither toned nor flabby but was smooth all over and could have been anywhere from 30 to 50; finally there was Alex who was early 20s, very nicely muscular and looked like the All-American College Jock type. And as they stripped down, they all had cocks that were pretty damn big while soft... The guys were given a nice big baggie from Jack along with some vitamin-v. We sat around watching the porn and hitting the pipe hard. At first Alastair and Pierre were really quiet, and I guess to some people a bit menacing. Two of the guys who'd hung around slipped out quietly, while I noticed that the next few of Jack's arrivals didn't even bother staying for more than a puff or two. The three guys prepared points for themselves and the rest of us puffed on the pipe. Craig passed around drinks with G and the guys started to mellow a bit. We were down to the three of them, plus me and Jack, Craig and Derrick - who each would be leaving shortly - and a string bean of a white middle-aged top named Jimmy and a cute Hispanic twink, Rico. The three "friends" of Derrick's started to get hard, and holy shit! I've been a player since I was a teenager, and these were some of the biggest cocks I'd encountered in all that time - almost impossible that three of that size were in the room at the same time. Alex, who did some porn occasionally, had a beauty of 9-incher, and Pierre a slightly longer, and somewhat fatter battering ram that had to be 10 inches. Then there was Alastair. He was slowly fisting a cock that seemed impossibly long - someone whispered "how big IS that thing?". Alastair rather smugly replied "Thirteen inches" to which Jimmy responded "No way." As proof, Alastair pulled from his bag a goddamn TAPE MEASURE to prove it - said he got tired of people not believing him. Sure enough, it was past 12 1/2 inches long - officially making it the second longest cock I'd ever personally encountered. "Satisfied?" he growled at Jimmy, who looked a bit scared. All three seemed to be getting impatient with waiting for Jack to finish up though when Rico tried to go down on one of them he was pushed away. Jimmy and Rico retreated to the daybed behind Jack's computer and started to fuck around. It was also becoming obvious that Jack was VERY upset about some message he was getting on his phone and he started to curse under his breath. The three guys looked a bit pissed and started whispering stuff to Derrick and then Craig who moved over to them to see what was going on. Craig went back and forth from them to Jack. Finally, Craig and Derrick came over to me and began to talk in a hushed tone, while Jack spoke to the other guys. Seems Jack was going to have to go out because he was having some problem with a supplier that frankly I didn't need or care to know any more about. He was taking Craig with him. Derrick was heading to paying clients shortly. So I was left to hold down the fort and make sure nothing went wrong and was given a set of keys to the various cabinets. "And there's something else," Derrick mumbled. It seems his three pals were tired of waiting and wanted to fuck NOW. Jimmy was a top only, and was clearly showing signs of avoiding them at all costs, and they were very much NOT into Rico, whom they found too feminine and girly (odd, for straight guys, I thought, but whatever...). "That leaves YOU," Craig finished for Derrick. Shocked I looked at them like they were crazy. "You want ME to bottom for three of the biggest cocks on the island of Manhattan?" They both nodded. "You HAVE to, or its not gonna be pretty real soon" whispered Derrick. "But don't worry, we can help make it easier." See here's the thing. Yes I do like to bottom, and in fact had griped a few times lately that I wasn't getting any bottom time at the last few get-togethers I was at, but really... I could think of 10 friends off the top of my head who would pay a huge amount to be gang-fucked by 3 super-hung black men, but being the subject of ANY gangbang had never been a fantasy of mine. And any of my fuckbuddies can tell you that although my hole is rather talented when it comes to muscle control, I am tight, and usually take a bit of time to warm into being fucked. Craig got me some G and some K and tossed a sprayer of Maximum Impact on the bed we'd be playing on. The three guys got the points they'd prepared earlier out, and Derrick pulled a tourniquet around my bicep and swabbed my arm. Jack and Craig slipped out quietly, and Jimmy and Rico paused in their play to watch as the three guys administered themselves and Derrick did me. There were several coughs and as I held my arm over my head, Derrick whispered "good luck" and headed out. I was pulled over to the bed and my ride began. On my knees in front of them as the sat all on one side, I sucked on each of those huge cocks - I could deep throat Alex, and Pierre barely, but I could not get Alastair all the way no matter what. I got to rim Alex for a bit and then they pulled me up on the bed and onto all fours. The maximum impact was sprayed on a cloth and I took a huge suck on that blessed cloth. Alastair and Pierre knelt in front of me while my mouth went back and forth between two dicks and two sets of balls. Alex climbed up behind me and I was astonished to feel his tongue give me a rimjob! Then the cloth was shoved under my nose and Alex started to sink his missile into my hole. Thank goodness for all of the chemical assistance, as I was able to take him in with far less trouble than normal. There was a bit of pain at first, and an uncomfortable feeling that lasted even longer but I wasn't in agony or anything. Rico, fascinated by all this came over with the bong, and held it for me to take some huge hits and blow them out on the two cocks I was sucking. After that, I settled into pure pleasure from Alex's fucking. Pierre's foray into my hole was a bit more difficult and he was far from the best top I'd ever had, but I was one of the first male holes he'd ever fucked supposedly, though he had received many blowjobs from guys over the years. Eventually it was Alastair's turn. I booty bumped before he began, along with many more hits on the pipe and more Maximum Impact. And amazingly, it was astonishingly good. He was narrower than Pierre, which helped a lot, and he also seemed to know his way around a man's hole. We continued to fuck and suck for hours, with Alex sitting his gorgeous ass on my face a couple of times when I was getting fucked on my back, and even giving me a little sucking action on MY cock every now and then. His buds did raise their eyebrows a bit when he did that. I also gave Pierre his first rimjob ever, though I could not convince Alastair to allow me to do the same thing. Jack and Craig eventually returned and things broke up. I wound up driving Alex back to his place in Spanish Harlem, and going inside with him. We smoked some more bowls and his cousin arrived during and got high with us - this teenager from North Carolina got quite an education that night, as I wound up sucking and rimming him, getting fucked by him, and briefly allowing the two of them to DP me. Unfortunately, that pushed things a bit too far for my overworked hole and I had to call it quits and head home. My butt was pretty wrecked for about two weeks. I certainly wouldn't have sought this situation out, and I'm not sure I'd ever want to repeat, but I'm glad I experienced something like that at least ONCE in my life. I have actually hooked up with Alex a few more times, and I'm close to convincing him to let me fuck him!

I was out of town for this experience too. I was in another city just to visit a friend but the visit was over and I was in my car headed home when a fit 20 years younger than me otter (with abs) messages me on Grindr. This kind of event was just about as rare as the then president telling the truth, so I pulled over and parked and quickly messagedback. I get my second shock when he tells me that he wants to get high and roleplay father/son with me. That's a no brainer I thought. Of course! We plan to get a hotel room, so I turn back around and meet him there. He was going to be my son on the high school travelling baseball team and his team had just won the tournament they were playing. It was late, so we got a room for the night. We're chatting, getting ready for bed and my son asks if we could do something new like smoke a bowl and get high together? I've always been pretty conservative and had never done anything like that before. I really had no desire to, or did I think it was appropriate for an adult to do with his kid. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but the next thing I know, my teenage son has me blowing clouds out of this weird looking water pipe thing. And go figure, it doesn't take long for me to realize that I liked it! lol I'm feeling new energy and starting to get warm when suddenly my son starts to kiss me. And take all our clothes off. He says we're gonna do some nekkid stuff too. It didn't take long for me to know that I liked this nekkid stuff too! He even blew one of those cloud thingies straight on my cock, if that don't beat all! And my teen boy did that just before he stuck his teen cock right in the old man's back door. Course we didn't have to worry about no rubbers or nothin'. Not like I was gonna get pregnant. lol Anyway, after we had played everything out, high from both drugs and what we did, it was nice to cuddle on the bed with clouds casually blowing by, stretching out this moment before you cant feel it it's stretched so thin. This sexy fine fit and freaky otter says to me: "By the way, I also have a twin brother." Wha?! 😃😃😃 "But he's straight" 😭😭😭 "But we still mess around with each other some times" 😈😈😈

Another Real Experience - A Surprise Cloudy St. Patrick’s Day A quick one about a quick one two days ago. It’s been a really stressful couple of weeks work-wise and my patience was wearing incredibly thin on Tuesday. Despite being in communications hell, at least several commission checks finally came in so money was one thing NOT causing stress. I was done with work by noon and was to meet family and friends in the city at 8PM for St Pats celebrations. I really wanted to kick back with some clouds but (typical for the last few weeks) my guy was out and his contact was out-of-town. My favorite local FB who’s always up for sharing (’cause I split the costs) if he has and I don’t bemoaned not having and told me to let HIM know if I found any. Another bud who is also able to assist in most instances turned out to be on vacation. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. On pure chance, I called two buds of mine - a couple I’ve mentioned here before in a post about a FF party in Brooklyn they hosted that I wrote about. I hadn’t seen them since the holidays and finally having some extra dough and extra time thought I’d see what was up with them. Turns out they were home, and told me to stop by (which is funny ‘cause its about an hour drive). Amazingly, no traffic - everyone must have been over on Fifth Avenue at the parade and not the West Side Highway - so I was there by 2:30. Thinking I was just “borrowing a cup of sugar” I was even more pleased when they asked if I had any time to have some fun… I told them I needed to be back in Manhattan by 8 but was all their’s until 7ish. That worked for them as they each wanted some playtime but also each had some things to do around their place so they decided to each have a one-on-one with me giving the other time to do chores. I was led down to the playroom and did a quick cleanup and made some clouds before getting down to it with Mick first. He’s that perfect Daddy-type (like I’m not? j/k) nice hairy broad chest, ‘stache, great legs and hairy butt and a very thick cock. We got ourselves spun and traded blow jobs and rim jobs - I love rimming that hairy hole of his! Then we went over to the sling and traded fucks back and forth. Both of us being “recovering tops” (I was one of the first to top him a few years ago…) it takes both of us a little work to loosen up, but we did and threw each other two satisfying fucks a piece. Then it was Don’s turn. He’s way kinkier than Mick. I put some of my leather gear on from my travel bag (it’s always in my car for just these kinds of surprise session) while he sent himself into the stratosphere and I pumped my level up a bit. After some mutual oral action on the play sofa and the mats on the floor, I got him spread-eagled and restrained from the rafters. I clipped his nips, the insides of his thighs and the undersides of his arms and pits with clothespins, got a parachute around his balls (and he has a LONG sac I’m so envious of) weighted it and worked him over on cam with a leather flogger. Stopping now and then to adjust or move the clips and to puff up and shotgun him, we worked him into a good frenzy. Getting unclipped and down from his restraints I pushed him over to the sling, got his legs up and restrained and headed to work on his shaved hole. First a nice long tongue fuck, then some cock work and finally onto my hands. Nice, slow, sensuous and drawn out, I opened him up with fingers one, two, four - then alternating hands until he blossomed open and in went my left hand past the wrist. I’m double jointed, so even though I have medium large hands, they “fold” well and sometimes I have an easier time getting in guys then men with hands smaller than mine. Being double jointed (and still having a good amount of my flexibility from my days as a dancer) I can do something that drives Don and some of my other FF buds nuts. Since I was using my left hand, I turned it clockwise as far as it would go… then, I slowly rotate it back… 180 degrees… 270 degrees… 360 degrees… at just past 360 degrees, I get up off the stool and continuing to turn my wrist in the same direction I step over my left arm with my right leg (my butt brushed his low hangers briefly doing this) then bring my left leg over while still turning my wrist and get another full 360 degree turn of my wrist by the time I’m done - a 720 degree slow turn all in the same direction that most of my fisting buddies who’ve experienced it absolutely love. Don was in seventh heaven… and after a few huffs of Max Impact we went for my right hand in with my left and slowly but surely got both in. After grooving on that flex for a while it was time for me to get cleaned up and go meet my family for beers and corned beef and several bands, wondering if any of them had any clue I still had my metal cockring and harness on under my clothes along with a very happy but spent cock and lubed by satisfied hole…