rawTOP

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... I have a lot of catching up to do since my last post, as I've managed to get a lot of cocks in my hole since then; and I promise to get up to date right after what I'm getting ready to head out to right now: my first bareback sex party. I've never gone to one before, whether it was before the rule change, or more recently I chickened out or just couldn't commit to one and follow through with it, and this weekend I decided to start just doing all the hot slutty things I want to do but never manage to make happen, either by my own or others' fault. I'll write all about it afterwards, but as an intro, it was put together by a hot black stud I've been chatting with for a good while now but never manage to meet either (another reason I have to go to this!) and another guy, at the San Vicente Inn, which I haven't been to in years. Apparently 27 guys invited, so we'll see what the turnout is. I don't have any goals or expectations since it's my first one, I just want to have that first experience at the very least. Plus if I just start doing these slutty things more often they won't seem so intimidating or scary. And I really want some hot nasty fun tonight. So I'll post how it went as soon as I'm out of there. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... I'm way behind now, so I have to update before my hole gets any more action. So here goes: Load One So about a week and a half ago I invited this very hot mid-30s white guy over, great body and pictures that seemed almost too good to be true, which in my experience is usually the case. But when he called to say he was heading over I heard his accent, and it turned out he's South African. With European/foreign guys a lot of the usual characteristics don't apply; in this case, for instance, an American guy his age with his looks would have been totally different as far as attitude, ego and other bullshit. I could tell when he arrived and after getting to know one another a bit that he had no idea how fucking hot he was and that he felt the same about me as I did about him, which was an even bigger turnon. And he had a beautiful, fat uncut cock. We hung out at my place for a few hours, then I found myself on my stomach on the bed holding onto the bedposts as he slid his thick cock in my ass finally. He fucked me for at least twenty or thirty minutes nonstop, and I mean pounded me, and by the time he was done the slats holding up my mattress had all collapsed. He made the hottest roaring noise when he dumped his load in me and wouldn't let me touch him after he pulled out because he was still twitching from the orgasm. Load Two The minute he left I went online again and even though it was the early morning hours where usually nothing works out, I got another white mid-30s muscular guy to say he was on his way, and was surprised when he called an hour later to say he was at the gate. And then he turned out to be hotter than his pictures to boot, which is rare. He has a boyfriend, and was telling me how hot it would be for him to catch his boyfriend plowing my ass, or vice versa, and how the two of them would love to have a boy like me be their pussyboy. He was rolling hard and even though I wasn't his total lust and nastiness kind of let me fly along with him anyway. I don't think he knew there was already a load in me when he fucked me almost the same exact way as the South African a couple hours earlier, although he shot his load after five minutes or less once we got around to him plowing my ass. He left around mid-morning. Load Three Later that day around five or six I heard from a 40 year old Latin guy who had fucked me twice before and who has a particular obsession with my ass in particular for whatever reason (which the second guy who fucked me that night also seemed to have), but both times were rushed before I had to go to work and I wanted to have a whole night available with him, so we arranged to meet for dinner a couple hours later at the restaurant where the second fuck happened to be a bartender. I went online to kill time and though I haven't really done so much before I invited a guy over for a quick pump and dump. Even when I have arranged pump and dump things they always have turned into more involved hookups. But this guy knew what he was doing: he was on the better side of average, somewhere in his 30s I'd guess, and had his cock out as soon as I let him in, and he took charge right away, ordering me to get on all fours on the bed. He pounded me from behind as I held on and the slats fell again, and he didn't stop until his load had been shot into my used hole, and then he pulled up his jeans and left without more than a "thanks." It was so fucking hot and exactly what I wanted and still want. Load Four The latin didn't end up jizzing in my hole until early the next morning but it was still hot and wet up there. He loves to pound me hard in every position imaginable, and he would slide four fingers inside me when his cock wasn't in there and work up to all five fingers on one hand and ease in toward his knuckles. He didn't get his whole hand in there ever but that wasn't really the goal; he just wanted a gaping cunt to fuck however and whenever he felt like it. Actually, he was so turned on at one point stretching my ass with his hand that he was suddenly about to cum, so I jumped up and sat down on his dick just as the first shot of jizz came out, and I didn't get off of it until I was sure I'd taken every drop. Even though the last two times he'd fucked me he'd given me two loads, I had to leave the minute he bred my hole to go to work. I had to sit at my desk pretty much all day to hide the wet spot in the back of my slacks, and I fucking loved it. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... Since there were no loads involved, just a quick update about last night. I went down to South LA, as in a few miles south of USC even, to the apartment of a white guy, "Kirk," who was in his mid 40s I'd guess and above average looking, and his buddy, a tall slim half black/half white guy around 30 who I've actually met before a couple months ago but he didn't seem to realize that, which I thought was hot so I didn't say anything. The black guy was all about sucking my dick, not something that gets me off per se unless someone gets off on sucking me off, which he clearly did. Kirk, on the other hand, was obsessed with eating ass, which he did whenever he wasn't tweaking around the room, although he wasn't annoying about it so I didn't mind. The black guy had an impressive cock, easily 9" but not too thick, and Kirk's was around or just above average. They treated me to several rounds of them switching off between my hole and my mouth, usually with one in each. Later on one of the guys Kirk had invited to join actually arrived, and he was a very hot muscular 40ish British bottom stud, so attention of course shifted towards him for a bit but I wasn't left out for more than a minute or two. The new guy, though, had one of the more enormous cocks I've seen in a good long while, which I always think is a waste on a bottom, especially a super hot total bottom. When I've been in similar situations in the past I've usually ended up trying (with varied success) to top, but this time after we'd been getting fucked side by side for a while the Brit got up on his knees and indicated that he wanted in my used hole too. Even with how much I'd been opened up over the previous hours his giant cock still had to stretch my hole open as he first slid it in, although it did so pretty readily. He fucked me for just a couple minutes and then pulled out quickly so my hole would gape open for Kirk to dive into with his tongue and cock. Soon after that I decided to head home and let the tops play with the hot pro bottom, who had years of experience on me and who I hope to be like someday, but I'd been there for nine hours by then and was ready for something new. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... Saturday before last a bud of mine who I met a few months back and have had a couple hot nights with since invited me to join him and some other guys at his place. I had taken a load from a 40ish white guy in Hollywood a few hours earlier despite me not really clicking with him sexually (he was kind of dull and really quiet) - that's just the kind of cumslut I am. It turned out he had no fewer than four other guys there when I arrived, all of them rather good looking to boot. Three guys were on the mattress on the floor while my friend and the fifth guy sat in chairs against the wall. I joined the gang on the mattress between a shorter late 30s/early 40s-looking white guy with a slight European look and accent and a tall white guy about the same age with a solid gym body and an absolutely enormous cock. I've had well over 600 cocks up my ass in my life and even more in my mouth and his was easily top ten. They both fingered my hole and nips as I sucked their cocks back and forth for a while, then the horsehung guy wanted to fuck me because he and the one in the chair who turned out to be his boyfriend were tired and had to drive back to Long Beach to get home. I wasn't nearly opened up enough to take his cock more than the head and first little bit, but he was super close so I told him to stick the head in my hole right before he shot, which several guys have seemed to really love lately, and it took him less than half a minute to slide the head and a bit more in my hole right as he moaned and shot his load in me. As he and his boyfriend were leaving I realized that I had been talking to the guy who had just bred me earlier that weekend about coming down and being a fuck toy for the two of them sometime soon, so I was glad to have the chance to go down and take his giant cock completely, along with his hot hot whitewashed Latin muscle boyfriend's. As soon as they left, or actually as they were leaving, the shorter Euro-ish guy fucked me on my back holding my legs in the air, and after the massive one before it his slightly smaller than average dick slipped in easily and felt amazing. He told me how much he liked my hole having cum in it while he fucked me and I asked him if I could take his load as well, and he dumped a second load in me a minute or two later. As he was finishing with my hole the third guy on the bed, a tall Latin guy looking around 28 or 29 or so, who I was probably most into physically of the group besides my friend although that doesn't matter much to me, came back to the bed, having moved to one of the chairs while I was taking the horsehung guy's cum, and as soon as the Euro had pulled out he began sliding in, and his cock looked twice the size of the Euro (yet not even close to the horsehung guy), definitely a good 8 1/2 or 9 incher. By then my hole had been used and opened enough that he was even able to get through the second sphincter, which only a handful of guys have done recently, and he fucked another load into me after pounding me for at least a half hour, bringing the total by that point to three and a half or so loads in my frat boy hole. But the hottest thing about it was that I came without touching or even thinking about it as he pounded me...and it felt incredible. My friend took some pictures of him fucking me which is something I've been really wanting to do and haven't gotten the chance lately, and he got a few hot ones that now make me want to build up my fuckshot photo album even more. Here are a couple of them for your viewing pleasure. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... So in truth, today as I start this blog I do so basically just for my own sake; I've been meaning to start something like this for so long but never seem to get anything big off the ground, so I thought I'd start simple and see what grows out of it. Let's see; today, the last day of November 2009, marks just about exactly ten years since the first cock slid into my hole and left behind a load of cum. I'm a couple weeks shy of 25 and a half, so you do the math. I lost count before I even started, really; I remember attempting to come up with some kind of ballpark number around the start of my junior year in college, and I remember it hovering somewhere in the low 200s, although that was only partway down my road from slut to big old hungry cumslut. My best guess for where I currently stand is between 650 and 700 (I decided long ago that anal penetration, however brief, would be my standard of counting, otherwise if I had to add in all the cocks I've only sucked or otherwise handled I'd be completely up a creek). Not bad, but especially given my new rules (or lack thereof) and possibilities, I intend on getting that number to shoot up over the next year or so. The obvious starting point for a yearlong drive to get much more of the cock and all the cum I've always wanted to but for various reasons haven't done yet is New Year's, coming up in just a short month's time, at which point I'll probably make my quest public in case anyone happens to get off on keeping track with me. I won't try to do any vast retroactive reporting, although especially if and when I put this out there I'm sure I'll recount some of my hotter/sluttier/nastier experiences as well. So I'll write like only I might read this blog, and therefore hopefully achieve the total unapologetic honesty with my sex life that I have never yet been fully able to practice or embrace. I don't know what purpose, if any, this blog may serve, now or in the future, but I know it can't hurt to simply start and see what happens. -D More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... So now that I've actually created this blog, I do have a first "diary entry" to put down. It had been going on NINE days since my big and amazing fuckfest with the horsehung Long Beach stud, his gorgeous and quiet boyfriend, and his friend visiting from Portland who had much in common with me (and, I admit, I developed an instant and lingering crush on), which is on the long side for me. But since car repairs have left me literally broke for the current period until mid-December, my means of supplying myself with tools I like to use when getting my hole used have been literally nonexistent. So I ended up inviting a largely sight unseen guy over from BBRT, offering a location in exchange for less hospitable but more immediately unobtainable for me. He ended up being a black guy from New York, I thought maybe mid-thirties and later learned he recently turned 40; not typical eye candy but he was nice, intelligent, apparently with a mindset rather like mine (which of course meant he'd be from out of town), and what he made clear to be a great appreciation of my hole. He had arrived early without notice so I hadn't showered or tidied up so I was not at all in my comfort zone at any time, but he got his dick in me several times and for quite a while, although he didn't ever get to a cumming attempt. We actually ended up (as I seem to do incredibly frequently) talking, about politics, shared less-than-stellar experiences abroad, and other non-sexual but intellectual-ish things for a couple hours while he fingered my hole, and his fingers had pruned up by the time he pulled them out of me. He didn't seem to mind. He went back to the place he keeps in LA to arrange his flight back later tonight, intending to come back, but I missed his call if he made one and worked on some stuff I needed to do. Around 11:30 or so I went on BBRT and chatted with an Asian guy who asked me, "wanna get fuked and filled?" As I'm still getting used to issues of space and capacity since the great London debacle I've found myself becoming especially fond of being fucked by Asian guys, and I never had any problems with it before to begin with. I got fucked by the HOTTEST Asian guy two weeks ago, and have had more Asian dick in me lately than perhaps I had in the past: I just love the fit, the feel, and the big loads I get in me, since Asian guys often get the short end of the stick in the gay fucking world. But I love them, and can't get enough, not in a rice queen way but in a "I like how their cocks feel in my cunt and I love getting their loads inside me and knowing they probably don't jizz inside young white boycunt like mine. This guy was around 40, not a partier, but enjoyed both my holes and was, as I've found a number of guys to be lately, not difficult for me to please (in a good way...I like knowing what I'm doing or what he's doing to me is getting a guy off). He fucked me on my bed, doggie style the whole time (hooray!), playing just enough with my nips to get me revved up extra, and seeming to enjoy spending time in my hole and anticipating shooting his load inside it. He liked calling me a cumslut or cumhungry slut or other things like that, which rocked. He did cum in my hole after a good ten or even fifteen minutes of fucking, which is considerable for a quickie but not objectionable, and he didn't just shoot a loud quick load, he started, shot some, then pumped a bit, shot more, pumped more, shot more, and didn't pull out of me for a good five more minutes. When he did, my hole was definitely as juicy as he'd been saying it felt, and he actually let me suck his cock clean as he slid out of my hole, which lots of guys can't handle after shooting. And it tasted quite good, too, which made me happy. He stuck around a few more minutes with his dick down my throat and my finger feeling my used hole, then he headed out. I'd have loved to get more (a lot more), but for various reasons couldn't work anything out for the moment, but I still have his load in me. And as I'm thinking about shooting my own load soon before heading down to campus, I may try and get a little practice doing a trick I amazed myself by attempting with surprising success a few months back in cum hungry desperation; that being, trying to cum in my own hole, or at least as close to doing so as possible. I may even just go for it and try shoving the head in my hole as I cum rather than just cumming at the edge and letting it slide in and pushing it in with my fingers. And now that I've written the previous sentences I've definitely decided that's what I want to do. There'll be plenty more cocks and cum for me as I continue this blog, I'm sure of that. And now that I've written my first diary entry post I've discovered that the process of doing so is actually quite fun, and, more importantly, I've managed to get turned on all over again by the fucks I got hours earlier. I think this blog may have been a very good idea after all. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... My definition of the ideal hole for me to fuck is not one I feel I can usually share candidly, since my perfect hole is loose enough to take my dick without resistance or protest if I choose to plunge it in aggressively on the first thrust, and ideally one that has been well used throughout its history, both total and immediate. (The visiting Oregonian I mentioned recently falling in love with during my last Long Beach fuckfest night two weeks ago is the only person I've ever met who possesses both the absolute pinnacle of my perfect hole and a general aesthetic and personality that also appeals to me. I want to marry him, and I am going to track him down, dammit. Kyle, if you ever read this, please will you marry me?) Topping comes almost as unnaturally to me as I imagine fucking a woman would be; my cock is both maddeningly fickle and extremely sensitive and quick at the trigger. Actually, my dick-related performance issues and accompanying anxiety are made even more frustrating by my recent realization of its size categorization as "large" to even "huge" by nearly every man who's seen it at full power. I always felt that for all my perceived physical flaws I'd been blessed with a solidly good dick, but also felt that it fell nearer to the lower end of the size spectrum of "normal" cocks - an assumption I recently realized was probably due to my vantage point, as a dick looks the largest from below, followed by its appearance from the side, and smallest from above. And it's hard enough getting fully hard for me, but two things are guaranteed to make even my strongest, most throbbing hard-on vanish instantly: one is the condom (not even just the physical object, but the mere mention of it and accompanying terror it evokes in me), and the other is the flinch, protest, or other resistance of a bottom. I get the most pleasure from the actual act of entry, since spending any more than a minute or so inside a hole is almost guaranteed to make me shoot, and when that entry, especially the first entry, is interrupted I have lost the considerable momentum needed to go any further. Yeah, I know it's not fair, but that's why I insist I'm a fucking BOTTOM. There's this general distaste towards the idea of "total bottoms" within the bareback sex world that generally comes from an image of such a person as selfishly focused on his own pleasure, or (in my mind worse) a wannabe star desiring to be the center and focus of the sexual attention and adoration (read: most bottoms in their twenties...no wonder I have such a hard time getting replies or interest from bareback guys), a "Fucking Diva." We all know what I mean here, so don't pretend you don't. But with me, I'm not a bottom for my own sake alone. I'm a bottom because my body practically beat me over the head since I started sliding things up my ass at ten or eleven years old, making sure I knew full well what it was designed for. I have SOOOOOOOOO much more experience taking dick than giving; I have the need-to-please attitude that better suits a bottom (a bareback bottom, at least); and I have what I think is a socially beneficial sexual abnormality that results in me being so totally and extremely slutty that I would literally allow any cock inside my ass that was physically possible - that doesn't mean I'll INVITE just anyone, but that if I were faced with the imminent choice with my hole accessible and available I seriously can't think of a scenario where I would refuse entry to someone). I'm a bottom because I know I might well be the only boy like me willing to do a good deal of things (or people) and I feel some hifalutin divine responsibility to represent. I'm a bottom because I know I'd be a pretty lousy top compared to my peers, whereas I'm at least reasonably competent as a bottom. And all of these reasons are why no one gets to criticize me about anything having to do with topping or gets to judge me for being essentially a big, stereotypical (on the surface if not in reality) bottom boy from the big city. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... This evening I was simultaneously overwhelmed by the minute margin of error involved in paying December rent (particularly as I determined, after careful calculation, that the entire balance of my checking account, the check I received this afternoon from my father, the $20 I accidentally overpaid a friend when repaying a small loan a couple months ago that she is determined to give me, and the five loose dollar bills in my wallet added up to the exact amount of the rent check, before remembering the five dollar fee that is to be placed on my impending request for a cashier's check...the whole thing is sadistic) and desperately not in the mood to remain alone the rest of the evening that I accepted an unusually open and beneficent-sounding invitation to pay a visit to (and share in the resources of) a kind if markedly average-looking 40 year old Venezuelan in Pasadena. I'd subsequently laid tentative plans with a 26 year old from Long Beach who would have been a far better match had he contacted me literally three minutes earlier than he did, as I refuse to play the inconsiderate, selfish white boy in his 20s by doing things like blowing off a kind offer that I had already accepted in favor of something younger and whiter. He actually looked better than his pictures, which was an improvement from potentially homely to benignly inoffensive average-ness; score one for my host. Scores two through four hundred came as I discovered he was indeed every bit as selfless, understanding, open and a good host as he'd claimed to be. I decided not to take the next step with the boy from Long Beach, only to run into him a bit later online and foolishly succumb to his invitation to ditch my host and schlep down the 110 for some supposedly fun fucking around. Then just as the plan went into effect (with the worst timing ever), I somehow couldn't bring myself to go through with the planned charade, and my unusually hard cock ended up deep in his hairy but accommodating hole. If I may make a note in case anyone cares or might be affected by this someday, I do appreciate (if not fully believe still) when a person is genuinely complimentary about my physical appearance and attributes, as this particular host turned out to be extraordinarily keen on being. However, when I'm trying to fuck around (or really, for that matter, pretty much any other time as well), I don't like a general tone of pseudo-romanticness, or otherwise sweetness. It does not advance my sexual quest to hear a person compliment my smile, my eyes, or other compliments that involve the words "cute" or "beautiful" (unless the latter is used about a sexual part, in which case that is both flattering AND a turnon). And of course I feel like the most pompous and ungrateful lout whenever this kind of situation happens, and could (and should) never actually share this abnormally unappreciative fact with someone who has spent some amount of time and effort paying me compliments that I would have killed to have gotten from ANYONE at any time five or six years ago as I was drowning in the cruelly shallow West Hollywood bar gay culture. Instead, I typically smile politely and hope the well-intentioned patron correctly analyzes my oft pointedly blank expression and changes tack. But I learned that the situation I just described tended to only exist whenever my dick was not inside his ass, and therefore made every effort to see that that was not the case as much as possible. And finally I was enjoying myself (physically) so much that I asked permission to cum (meaning no pulling out, which is my rule as a rare top as well as bottom), was granted it, and enjoyed the most glorious orgasm inside his hole that I suspect might still be making its way out of his ass. It was a lot of cum, especially for me. And to his credit, as I made sure to tell him, he did have the kind of opening that is the only one for which I will undertake the role of top for any amount of time - my fucked up way of complimenting what I consider a great hole. He was a genuinely decent guy and I was more than happy to add him to the short list of guys I've bred. And I should be sexually satisfied now for at least the bulk of the day ahead. This is always a good thing on a work day. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... Okay, whether or not I ever write here or for that matter do anything ever again I have to just document the supremely incredible fuck I just got tonight...and out of the nearly 700 or so ballpark estimate I'm talking this being up there in the top ten. I'll definitely fill in all the hot details shortly, but just the basics: he was very attractive (not exactly the norm with me, though that's not a requirement either), about 35 with a nice defined swimmer type body that looked gym-sculpted, a cute face, and a cock that went from pleasantly plump to porn star-like perfection: not freakishly huge, but with the perfect tapering from head to base, straight as an arrow like mine, etc. But mainly it just was one of those cocks that just fit inside me perfectly; he got past second sphincter without any resistance or discomfort from me outside or in, and it just was an amazing quick fuck that ended with his rather loud orgasm as he shot inside me that will probably have my nosy neighbors talking for a while. It was just such an unexpected rendezvous where everything that usually can go wrong or just less than ideally went, well, the way it would go in one of the great Falcon movies from the early nineties. Except with a creampie. Now I'm off for potentially more fun with a friend in Hollywood.... I will, of course, keep you posted. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... So around 5 or 5:30 this morning I put up a Craigslist ad looking for a quick pump-and-dump load or two before work. Got some fun responses I'll definitely follow up on in the future, and the first winner was a guy who lives seven or eight blocks away and who had an above average torso pic and who I guessed to be mid to late 30s. I was figuring it would be a simple quickie as planned. But the moment I saw him outside the gate I was taken aback by how totally hot he was: he fit so much of the mold of my ideal aesthetics in a man that of course I got a bit nervous, because usually guys I feel that way about don't tend to be into me. But when we got to my apartment he was naked instantly and he had a gorgeous cock to top everything off. I was sucking him off as he sat on the couch, then he pulled me up and began making out with me, like passionately, and I started to become aware that he apparently was as unexpectedly into me as I was into him. He liked spitting into my mouth or onto my chest and stomach, something I've never much been into but LOVED him doing, and he started referring to me as his boy and him as a daddy, even though he was definitely not old enough to make the title a given. He talked about wanting to tie me up and use me, eventually getting me used by other guys too, and he was really into my hole in ways I haven't encountered much but found I loved. I'm usually too tense to really enjoy being rimmed, but he would blow into my ass and tell me to push it back out, going against every impulse I've trained myself to have but in a refreshing, not problematic way. His cock was definitely big, but best of all it was just thin enough to fit through my tight second sphincter that is an issue (usually just for a moment, but still) with 99.9% of cocks that have been in there since my surgeries, and as I realized that I just pushed down onto it and sure enough it went in. I know that feels unbelievable and unusual for guys who've been able to get in that deep, and it always sounds like they're loving it. He shot a LOT of cum inside me and I would have gladly kept his cock in me all day if we didn't both have to go to work. I know it was a lot because as I sit here writing this it's oozing out my hole slowly, meaning he overflowed me, and I can hold a lot of cum. Fucking AMAZING and I hope to get to take up on this idea of being his boy that he said he wanted. More...

Click here to see Frat Boy's original blog post... Well, here it is, the first day of 2010, which also happens to be the first day of a year I've been sort of planning for quite a while now. My ultimate overall goal for this year is that it be one in which I shed any last lingering doubts, concerns, inhibitions, self-consciousness, and any other obstacles to me living the life and becoming the sexual creature I've known my whole life that I want and need to be, since I've become increasingly certain over the years that to do so will be the key to realizing my potential and my most inherent needs. I'd been planning to keep a sort of record of the year ahead and my attempts, be they successful or less so, to finally match my actions with my desires and thoughts, a public record in blog form, as while my sexual adventures, thoughts and efforts to come are primarily on my own behalf, as is to be expected, a part of what makes my ideal sex life so terrifically hot in my mind is the notion of sharing it in some way with other guys who for whatever reason liked or got turned on by what I do, how I think and essentially who I am. That's definitely not to say that I expect that from others by any means - I couldn't be further from being that egotistical and self-confident. But as much as things like getting my hole full of cum turn me on, I get twice as turned on by someone getting turned on by me getting my hole full of cum. (Wrap your head around that if you can!) So whether one solitary guy stumbles upon my 2010 journal and enjoys himself or a hundred guys do so, I'll love it all so much more for knowing someone else is getting some kicks out of this stuff too. Since my ideas on the aforementioned public blog are more suited to a different blog host, I won't be using this particular one anymore, as I started this sort of as a leadup trial run for myself and didn't expect much if any readership at any time. However, as I've heard from several guys over the last month or so who somehow found their way here and seem to have enjoyed what they found (which I love, and apologize that I've been slow replying to such messages lately!), I thought I'd put a little transitional ending here instead of vanishing into thin air! If you feel so inclined you can pop over to fratcumdump.wordpress.com from now on; keep in mind that it may not be fully functioning for a little bit while I get it all up and started. At some point I'll export my posts from this blog over there as well. Thanks for reading, and happy new year! More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... Um, this is unbelievable. The ABSOLUTE hottest thing I think I've ever seen. I had caught a part of it before on BareDerek's (sadly) defunct blog, but never the whole thing, with the fucktacular ending. As with the other, link is below in case the embed doesn't look good on your screen. In case you haven't guessed, I'm so busy with work this week that I'm not hooking up much. Without further ado: Link. As always, if you own this video and you would like me to take it down, please contact me at skinonskinnyc@gmail.com and I will promptly remove it. Or, even better, give me a link to a place where my readers can buy your video and let this video show them exactly why they should! More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... I've had a horribly busy week and got home late, exhausted, and horny. While I ate some tuna and mixed veggies, I decided to check out Manhunt. One of the hot black dudes I've been chatting with on there asked if I wanted to come out to Brooklyn and get fucked. I had no desire to and said maybe another time. Then he said the magical words: "four day load." So, forty minutes later I was walking up a hill in a sketchy part of Brooklyn, ringing a buzzer, and was confronted by a shirtless, muscled, smiling black beauty of a man. He had a small tattoo of encircling his large, well-defined bicep, and this amazing 8-pack set of abs. He offered me a glass of water. I accepted, but before I could finish I had to lick his nipples, which stood at attention. Soon we were making out against the wall of his entry hallway. He pulled off my shirt and unbuttoned my pants, exposing my precum-soaked boxers. I felt his dick and it was a good 8" to 9", snaking up and to one side. After some more kissing, we got totally naked and he led me by the hand to his bedroom. I was a little unnerved to find he had like three aquariums in there. It also reminded me that I had just eaten tuna and forgotten to brush my teeth. But he didn't mind. After sucking my dick for a few minutes (he was good, but not great), he kneeled in front of me and pressed against my lips with the head of his cock. "Suck it," he commanded. I complied, probably more eagerly than necessary. I gave him a good working-over, getting it nice and wet and using my tongue to the best of my ability. His body was amazing, and I let my hands wander all around as he fed me his cock. His ass was like stone, his thighs could crush almost anyone, and his hands were extraordinarily powerful. I was brought back to reality as he held my head still and started fucking my face. I kind of hate that, because I like to be in control and I haven't yet conquered my gag reflex when it comes to big dicks like his. The idea of it is hot to me... I like the thought of giving over to a top in that way. But in practice... um, not so much. Soon, he was eating my hole, which as you may recall is something that I've also disliked at times in the past. I'm trying to force myself to adjust to liking it, with success. I may have forgotten to brush my teeth, but I certainly hadn't forgotten to clean out down there, and I just gave over to it and let him eat that hole like there was nothing better in the world. And he really did get into it, moaning and grunting and getting super turned-on. That got me turned on and when he came up to kiss me, I wasn't even that grossed out. Finally, he got me on all fours and instead of his tongue, I was greeted by dick. He spit in his hand, lubed himself up, and pushed the head in. He held it there for a long time, finally forcing me to push back on it. He laughed, "I knew you'd get the point." It took me a second, but eventually I realized he wanted me to impale myself on that monster. It was tough, so he got out some poppers (which I normally don't like to do, since there's some evidence that they can have a negative impact on CD4+ cells). I hesitated, then allowed him to use them. I felt a warm wave wash over me, my ass relaxed, and I fucked myself down onto his dick. "That's it, that's right," he said. In no time, I was gliding back and forth, eagerly ramming my ass back as hard as I could go. Finally he grabbed my shoulders and kept me from pulling forward, so he could keep is dick in me. He pulled me tighter back against him, getting deeper and deeper inside me. Once I felt his balls against my ass, I knew he was in control again. He pulled out maybe an inch, slowly, then slammed back in really quickly. He repeated this, pulling out a little more each time and then ramming back in. I'd grunt and almost fall forward each time, so he grabbed one shoulder with one of his strong hands, and the other he cupped over my mouth, pushing a finger between my lips to suck on it. He continued his assault, until he was pulling almost all the way out and then slamming back into me. Finally, I was about to ask him to ease up a little when he blurted out, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum!" He started grunting loudly on each slam, finally forcing me down onto the bed as he collapsed, panting on top of my back. The feeling of his sweaty body against my back was amazing. I turned over on my side, reached back to recover some of the four-day load he had shot, and used it as lube to jerk my own two-day load out onto the sheets. We showered together, then I headed back to the subway. Saw a yellow cab. Was too weak to resist, stuck my hand in the air, and had him speed me back to my comfy place in Manhattan. Sure makes up for the shitty work week I'm having! More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... So, I've gone to some lengths to avoid being personally associated with the blog, making sure to change the odd detail here and there to obscure my identity a little bit. So whatever possessed me to talk about it openly with like four friends? Some of whom now read it. There's one kind of mind-space where you're talking about this stuff anonymously. There's another kind of mind-space when you're talking dirty with your friends. This sits in a third place, which is extremely uncomfortable on one hand and extremely liberating in another sense. It's interesting to find that the secret self, the one that I keep only for me, is now integrated with the external perceptions that certain other people have of me. Obviously, if you've corresponded with me, nobody has heard about your correspondence, incidentally, and nobody ever will. But it's really, really strange to know that there are specific people who know specifically what I'm up to, and are reading about me describing my sex life in exquisitely explicit detail. And then coming over for drinks or an episode of The Golden Girls or a showing of .Some guys might get off on that sexually, the knowing that others are reading and knowing who he is. I don't. I do find it interesting, from a psychological standpoint, to analyze the way it plays out in my psyche. I'm interested to hear the thoughts of others, especially in the comments so we can have an open discussion (if you're so inclined). Later, Adam More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... One of the readers I've been corresponding with gave me permission to reprint this story about a hot time he had at a gym somewhere in New York City. It's EXTREMELY hot, but as I reread it a second time, I started thinking about risk and HIV, so I share some thoughts on that below. From "R" - as i said, the gym is totally gay. even the "str8" guys get a little action in the steamroom. they staff keeps an eye on the steamroom, but its pretty lax enforcement. just enough to keep it from turning into a total backroom. there is always a guy or guys in there to stroke off with, or get some mutual stroking in. i've seen lots of blowjobs, and even enjoyed a couple. it's difficult when the gym in busy, people going in and out all the time, but when it gets a little later, 8-ish in the evening, or another dead time, 4-5 on the weekends, etc. it's pretty quiet. i've also seen lots of guys play a little in the steamroom or sauna and then end up in a shower stall together. who knows what's going on in there (although i do imagine it!) anyway, one sunday afternoon, about 5 o'clock, i finished up my work out and headed to the steam room. there were a coupe guys in there already who were obviously showing off to each other. definite hard cocks under the towels. so i immediately dropped my towel and started playing with myself to let them know it was cool. they immediately uncovered and started stroking also. they were sitting next to each other, so i sat at the corner, facing them both. they both had lean, worked out bodies, but not totally chelsea boys. both cute faces, one was latin, maybe spanish or portuguese, and the other was an all-american white boy. the latin boy had a great uncut cock, that i really wanted to suck, but the other guy was way ahead of me. after maybe a minute of jerking off, the white boy started jerking the uncut cock. he then leaned over and started sucking on it. i was totally hard by then. i started playing with the white guy's cock. he stopped and started sucking a few times while I jerked him off, but he seemed nervous that someone was going to walk in. the latin guy had reached behind the white one and was playing with his ass. i could feel him sticking his ass out to give him easy access. the latin guy was looking at the door and looking at me, so i got up and stood so that i could keep watch out the door. that made the latin guy more aggressive in playing with the white guy's ass. he pulled the white guy up and stood him in front of him so he could finger his hole easier. the white guy was totally into it and seemed more relaxed since i was watching the door. he stuck his ass out and the latin guy stood up. he started rubbing his cock on the white guy's ass. at first, the bottom stood back up (not sticking his ass out) and seemed hesitant to do anything. the latin guy was not having it though, and kept at his ass with his hard uncut cock. he kept spitting on his hand and then rubbing it on his cock. finally the bottom bent over a little and that was all it took. the latin guy pretty much just stuck it in. there was definitely a "OMG, ouch" moment, but the top kinda just kept going. after a couple strokes, the bottom got over it and was into it. the top was fucking him fully in and out. i was totally hard, but couldn't jack off because i was at the door, although not really watching anymore because i didn't want to miss anything. it only took a minute for the top to make a little noise. the bottom was jacking off too, and didn't really know what to do when the top groaned, but then stood up, pulled off, and whispered, "don't cum in me". the top was obviously done though. he didn't say anything (maybe he doesn't speak english???) but he smiled and wrapped his towel around his waist and walked out, past me. i sat down and said "totally hot" to the bottom, who also sat down. we jerked off together, and he shot a huge load on his chest. it was actually kinda funny when he walked out to the shower, because he had cum all over him. i've never seen the bottom again, but the top still shows up there every once in a while. OK, that turned out longer than i thought... and now i'm hard again. lol * * * * * * * That's the sort of thing that I'd consider doing now that I'm positive. I may have done it before, had my wild side come out to play over time, but like that bottom kid I probably would have been both freaked out and turned on by it. I actually feel kind of bad for him, in a couple ways. First is that he was HIV- (or thought he was, which he revealed when he said, "Don't cum in me!"), and he put himself at risk in a way that was both really hot and really dumb. He probably kicked himself for a while after that. It's interesting to reflect on the hot/dumb ratio that all of us have to toy with as gay men. I feel bad for that kid and for all of us that we have to worry about HIV at all. I'm doing great with it, and everyone I know who has it seems to be doing well. But managing it, treating it, and saying that's the best we can do isn't enough. We've got to beat the germ. The cure has to happen, and we have to make sure that we aren't just demonstrating for marriage rights, but also for the cure. There's promising research out there. Let's get active and start pushing for billions more in cure-focused research, so that we can all have the kind of fun we deserve to have. The kid in my reader's story deserved to have fun without worrying about getting a virus that could put him on medicine for the rest of his life. We all deserve it. Agreed? Then make a donation to amfAR and make sure to sign their petition for a national AIDS strategy. And then leave a comment or send me an email! More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... Just barely. I have a bad cold/flu. I'll be back soon. In the meantime, keep yourself entertained with this: It's sort of hot, and foreshadows the post when I finally get around to telling you about my last fuck... More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... Sorry for being absent. I've been doing a job search, sort of without success, and I've also had some fairly shitty health issues going on. Not loving it. Those readers who are HIV-, there are good reasons to stay that way and just read my blog to get your bareback thrills, lol. From a fucktale standpoint, I have a lot of catching up to do to get you up to date. As I hinted in my last post with the video, I had a hot fuck a while back with an amazing, lean-bodied African-American dude in Inwood. I met him on Manhunt, as I tend to do. It was specifically through my Skinonskin blogging account, so he didn't even get to see a face pic - kudos to him for trusting me to not be a hideous manhag (a new word I'm going to start spreading... join me!). Anyway, so after about three months on the uptown A train, I got off at his stop and walked to his house. There's an actual freakin' farmhouse on the hill there. That's how weird and distant that neighborhood is. I admire people who have the wherewithal to live there. I couldn't do it. I guess I'm a Chelsea/Hell's Kitchen snob. I buzzed his number and he let me in. I walked up three flights of stairs to his place, rang the door bell, and waited. He opened the door and was even cuter than his pictures. He smiled and pulled me inside. We made out in the hallway for a second and he led me straight to the bedroom and closed the door. He unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the ground. He wasn't wearing underwear, and a large, beautiful black dick flopped out. He was not wasting any time! He was half-hard and I dropped to my knees to get him the rest of the way there. Soon he was hard and dripping precum. Up to this point, very little had been spoken, and I was sort of turned on by that. I'm not usually into frantic, practically anonymous scenes, but he had such a lean body and such a great cock that I was kind of getting into it. I stood up and he kissed me once, hard and deep. Then he unbuttoned my coat, threw my scarf on the floor, ripped off my shirt, unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down. With my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles, he bent me over face down on the bed and lubed up my ass and his cock. Silently, he entered me. I pulsed my ass muscles to ease him in, but it was still hurting a little bit. Eventually, he got all the way in and I slowly got accustomed to his size. He started fucking harder and harder. It was one of those instances that bottoms love, when you can feel the whole length of a long dick and it feels like the top is penetrating halfway up the inside of the torso. I breathed deeply to bear the sensation and ground back to hold him deep for a minute, enjoying the fullness. He took that chance to kick my pants the rest of the way off with his foot, and I helped by pushing my shoes off. He withdrew long enough to flip me on my back and pull off his white wife-beater. His abs were so amazing I found myself poking at them with my index finger. Then he was kissing my neck and his massive dick was grinding back into my wet, welcoming ass. He got in deep, and I looked at his eyes, as I ran my hand over his beautifully full lips, his stubbled cheek, his closely-cropped hair. I gripped the back of his neck and gave over to the bucking, unrelenting assramming he was unleashing on me. I couldn't help but just grunt on each thrust of his hips. He started breathing heavily. "Where do you want the nutt?" he asked. (I've now read enough gay porn that I know that "nutt" is the proper spelling.) My initial internal monologue was, "Um, you read my blog. You know where I want the nutt." Then it dawned on me he wanted me to beg for it. So I did. "Shoot it up my fuckin ass, man," I said. "Louder," he insisted. I obliged, urging him on as he got closer and closer, and finally he let out something that sounded like "Gah!" and he let loose, shooting his load deep inside my guts. As usual, that was all I needed to paint my chest and abs white with a good four or five-squirt load. After that, we cleaned up and talked briefly about life, about our respective HIV experiences (he has a shitty doc, I referred him to mine), and about other stuff that I've forgotten about since it's been a while. I went home feeling very satisfied. More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... I'm back, boys! Sorry for the long delay. As I said in the last post, which I just finished and published, I've had a lot going on. To those who know my real identity - Shhhhhhhhhh!!! I'll appreciate your keeping my secret! More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... So, in keeping with my fucktales catch-up theme, it's time to tell you about the really hot time I had with a guy from Kuwait. I was at Campus Thursdays at Splash on one of those really cold nights last month, when it came time to go home. There were cute boys, there was good music, I was having a good time - but it was just time. I had a lot to do, I wasn't feeling great, etc. As I waited for the uptown 1 train at 18th St, I noticed this hot Middle Eastern guy who had been in the bar glancing my way. He had a buzz cut, light scruff, one of those cool leather jackets with no collar that I'm dying to have (here's another one that's actually approaching my price range), and even under the jacket you could tell he was really built (which I already knew from seeing him on the dance floor at Splash). I stood by the edge of the platform, looking down the track to see if the train was coming. "We just missed it," he said with a slight accent. "Oh, that's too bad," I said. "Better have a seat, then, huh? I'm Adam." Well, that was an easy enough first contact! I thought to myself. "I'm Salim," he said [not his real name]. He extended his hand and we shook. His hand was powerful. I started to get a little hard but tried to control myself. We went through the small talk, the "I saw you dancing," etc. Eventually the train pulled into the station, and we rode up. I enjoyed his company and the conversation. I asked for his number as we pulled into my stop in Midtown. "I don't usually give that out," he said. I felt a little disappointed and (to be honest) I felt a little foolish for thinking he was interested. I have lost a lot of muscle tone since the beginning of winter, not to mention muscle mass. Maybe I just didn't have it anymore. As I prepared to exit, I said, "Well, then, it was nice to meet you, have a great night!" I started to walk out the doors of the train. "But don't you want to come to my place?" he said, loudly enough to be audible to anyone in the car. I stopped in my tracks and looked around. About thirty pairs of eyeballs were trained on me in surprised expectation. "Um, sure!" I said, a little more loudly than I needed to: "I haven't seen it since you redecorated!" (Yeah, that'll fool 'em!, I thought to myself sarcastically.) Confusion registered on his face, so I quickly changed the subject back to the conversation we had been enjoying before. We got to his place on the Upper West Side (near one of my favorite Chinese restaurants, actually) and he took me upstairs. The doorman smirked at me knowingly in a way that clued me into the fact that this guy was probably a big old slut (said the bareback blogger hypocritically). Upstairs, we got comfortable and sat down. Then, he started smoking - ack! Now, you should know, I hate being around tobacco smoke. I think it's disgusting, it's deadly, it's smelly, it makes people (and cum) taste bad - there is nothing at all sexy about it. A strange thing, happened, though... in looking at him in disbelief (he didn't even ask permission!), I started to find that it kind of made him hotter and more exotic to me - my dick got completely rock hard in no time flat. But I quickly let him know that it caused me respiratory problems and he apologetically extinguished the offending item. He leaned in to kiss me, and his breath wasn't actually nearly as bad as I expected, so we went for it. Soon we were tangled in an extremely passionate tongue-fest that was equal parts panting and grinding. One garment after another went flying against the wall or the bookshelf or over the top of his flatscreen... till finally I was gobbling his gorgeous cock with its gentle upward curve, all the way to the base. After a few minutes of me sucking him, he said, "I want to be inside you." In the heat of the moment, HIV disclosure is NOT easy, let me tell you. That's why I much prefer to talk about it on a dance floor in the lull between being those people making out on the dance floor and heading out the door together, or online, where it's just spelled out. So, in that moment, rather than bringing up the buzzkill that is HIV, I just said, "Cool. I have condoms and lube." They were in my bag beside the couch, so I reached in with one hand while we made out some more. He was on top of me, his dick pressing against my hole in that pre-fuck tease that used to scare the shit out of me before I was poz. "Is he going to do it? Oh no! I want him to. I don't want him to! Shit! What if he does? Do I have the willpower?" Well, nowadays, it doesn't scare me for me, but I still try to be a good boy. I really wanted him to push on in raw, of course, but I was determined to do the right thing. He repositioned himself, kissing me in a more relaxed way while lubing up my hole. His fingers were so amazingly strong, I could even tell it from that. His chest was amazing, his thighs were like something from a statue - he really was something else. Then I felt his dick against my hole, bare. For a split second I considered not speaking up, but I did. "Um, how about a condom?" "It's ok, I trust you," he said. Trust me?!, I thought. You didn't even ask yet! I told him he should wear a condom because of my HIV status, and he just sort of shrugged. "I've topped positive guys before. I might even be positive, I haven't tested in almost a year. I just really don't like condoms, I can't feel anything." Having experienced the difference, now, I understand. In my earlier, HIV- days, I would have been completely pissed at him. Now, there's so much gray area that I never knew existed. I said that I would only do what he was comfortable doing, and he said he was only comfortable doing it raw. So, he did. And he was an out of this world top. He fucked me so hard I thought I was going to crack my skull on the bookshelf beside the couch. He was verbal too, but I have no idea what he said half the time because he was speaking his own language. After a few minutes, my misgivings melted away and I gave in to the warm, wonderful invasion of my ass. He flipped me over, fucking me on all fours. He flipped me on my back. He fucked me from below. He put me ass-up in his chair. He fucked me on my back on the floor, on all fours on the floor and finally standing, bent over the little table he called a dining room (in the living room). My dick was hard as a rock and I started to get close. I told him, and he said, "Oh yeah! Show it to me! Show me your cum!" I jerked my cock and after about two strokes I started shooting, beginning with a lightning-fast jet across the table. He started grunting behind me and I could tell he was cumming inside me. He put his head down on my back as we both grew weak from the force of our orgasms. He withdrew and we curled up on the couch together for a while. I asked him some gently probing questions about his laissez-faire attitude towards HIV; he reacted by asking me why I let him go ahead, if I was worried about him. The truth was, I couldn't answer. I felt kind of bad - but also good that I had given him the power to make an informed decision. I would never top a bottom without a condom; maybe I just buy into the myth that tops don't get it, on some level. But of course they do. After we talked some more, we cleaned up. In the shower, he kept going on and on about how hot it was. "I want to do that with you over and over and over and over," he said. I can't lie, I'd like nothing more than to oblige that request. But we'll see. I really do try to be a good boy, and I'm not sure that I'm comfortable doing that when my head isn't clouded by the puberty-level hormonal surges that have been pulsing through my body the past few months. Furthermore, he never did give me his number. So unless I see him some Thursday at Splash... he's just another one night wonder. More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... I'm on my next mission. My mission is to fuck or get fucked in a strange, unusual, or very cool place. Examples could be in your corner office with a view of the whole city, in a hot tub on your building's roof deck, in the back room at the bar where you work... I'm tired of having sex in living rooms and bedrooms! I'm going to be a little open minded with this mission, since it might never be accomplished if it HAS to be in a certain place like the men's room at the Metropolitan Museum or something like that. If you're an NYC poz barebacker who wants to fuck or get fucked in an unusual location, hit me up. Otherwise I'll see if one of my existing poz fuckbuddies wants to give it a try. Adam More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... With fan mail like this, who needs a Manhunt profile or a video, lol? This is from a gorgeous twink from the UK who contacted me through my Facebook account (which I've finally gotten recreated - I'm rebuilding my network, so add me if you want... I never post inappropriate things on the walls of others unless it's CLEARLY a wall where that's already going on). I'd love to have sex with this beautiful dude. Here's what he had to say: "wow m8.... just reading the last bit you wrote.... that got me so horned up.. reading it and imagine it... FUCK the thought of getting in2 a position and waiting 4u... waiting 2 feel your wet precummy knob pushing on my hole.... then feel as you slowly slid into me raw ... right up 2 your cum filled balls... then you just stay deep in me 4 a bit, both of us snoggin... and knowing you are deep in me raw.... you knowing your in as deep as you can get.... and me feeling you in me.... then you start 2 fuck me.. you want so much 2 cum and fill me with your seed... im grabbin you ass and pulling u in me... wanting 2 hear you say that you're cumming ... then feel the 1st shot of your seed fill me... wow i really get turned on thinking of you xxxx" More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... The title pretty much says it. Enjoy! Link. As always, if you own this video and you'd like me to take it down, just drop me an email. Or, even better, just provide a link where my readers can BUY your video and let this show them exactly why they should buy it! More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... Link. If you own it, you know the drill. More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... Link. As always, if you own it and want it taken down, email me. More...

Click here to see Adam's original blog post... As I think I may have mentioned, I'm not a very experienced top. There's a catch-up fucktale I owe you, which is actually embarrassing. I chickened out and couldn't do it. I finally understand performance anxiety. So, I decided to practice. Tonight I met a cute guy with dark hair who was a little taller than me, and after determining he was a bottom, put the mojo in motion. In about half an hour we were at my place with my Trojan-shrouded dick up his ass. I did fairly well. Not great, but ok. I don't normally talk about my safer-sex adventures (which probably outnumber my raw adventures), since the theme of the blog is skin on skin. But this was fun and hopefully will give me more confidence in the future. More...