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1314 Much Loved

About rawTOP

  • Rank
    Site Owner
  • Birthday 12/08/1967

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  • Gender
  • Location
    New York (Harlem)
  • HIV Status
    Neg, On PrEP
  • Role
    Versatile Top
  • Porn Experience
    "Load #6" in Dawson's 20 Load Weekend

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  1. Had no idea you had as many people on your websites per a post where you mentioned it. Well done and thank you for providing such outlets. 

  2. Are you a lawyer? Do you own or administer a site with 10s of thousands of users? I'm not sure what your qualifications are to make that statement. And saying that my statement is libelous is completely out-of-bounds. W icker, when mentioned on this site, was almost always associated with underage sex. I know, I moderated 100+ messages where it was used. Getting rid of it, got rid of a huge legal nightmare for me. Anyone who tries to get around the banning of the word will get suspended and if it's me doing the moderation at the moment, the points will not expire since there was clear intent to break the rules. (On stuff like this I'm much more harsh in my moderation than DrScorpio.)
  3. W ickr is banned because it's almost always used to facilitate illegal activity or the discussion of illegal activity. I can't and won't have that here.
  4. When I came out in college (30 years ago) the gay friend I came out to suggested I get into one of the university's gay men's counseling groups. Long story short the group I was in the 2nd semester discussed sexual abuse a fair amount. Many (most?) of the guys in the group had had sex with adults when they were kids. I grew up in a really sheltered environment – the idea that "statutory rape" was so widespread shocked me. It's that experience that makes me tend to not question the veracity of the guys telling the stories here. There's no wrong reaction to what they went through. Anger is fine, temporary depression is fine, and so is eroticising what they went through. It's their experience, no one else should tell them how they should deal with it. But yeah, I do wonder about the veracity of some of the stories, and I agree it's sorta gross to tell fake stories that cheapen what other people went through. But it's such a sensitive topic I'd only give an infraction for telling their story in a way that's too erotic. It's never my place to tell them it didn't happen.
  5. You don't report people for BEING something. You report them for DOING something. There's a report option under every user-submitted post, message and picture on the site.
  6. If anyone ever sees scat pics on this site, PLEASE report them. They are considered legally "obscene" and strictly forbidden from this site.
  7. While hetero folks have very good reasons for bans on incest given the birth defects that happen when close relations have sex, the bottom line is that none of those problems exist for gay folks. Jessy and his brother can swap loads all day long and nothing bad will happen (at least nothing worse than if they had sex with strangers). Chronophilia is a thing. You don't have to be into it to accept that it's fine for other people to be into it. I have a friend who's really into guys who are 70+ years old. I wouldn't have sex with his boyfriend, but he's genuinely into the guy. Apparently it's pretty normal for girls to get their periods at 9 and 10 years old these days. I know it happened to my niece YEARS ago and wasn't normal then. Back then they traced it to the hormones in the Purdue chicken they were feeding their kids. They switched to organic meat and her periods stopped and came back at a normal age. But my husband's cousin's kid just had her first period at 10 and apparently most of the girls in her school are getting it around the same age. Point being – puberty is happening earlier. And I'd guess all the sexual feelings start earlier as well. But beyond that kids can be curious and it's not out of the realm of "normal" for them to be curious about their genitals (and the genitals of others). If they're not in a sexually repressed environment I suppose that could lead to sexual exploration before puberty. IMHO, it's harmful to label that explorarion "deviant" / "wrong" just because it happens to be sexual. Where problems come in is when adults get involved given the power dynamics between adults and kids. The statutory rape laws exist because too often damage is done, but not always.
  8. No one should be embarrassed either about actual abuse or any of the sex they have willingly. I mean, yeah, sometimes the scene goes wrong to the point that it's embarrassing, but a general embarrassment about being abused or consensual sex? I don't endorse that type of normative sexual repression. My goal for the site is to help people get over their hangups about sex and approach their sex lives realistically and honestly. That's the only way people can have a healthy sex life. If talking about their early experiences gets them to that place, so be it.
  9. FYI, I just did another batch of deletions. Took about an hour and a half to do ~300 deletions. The process had improved slightly. I was expecting it to take me longer.
  10. We allow people to discuss what happened to them in a factual, non-erotic manner. It's also OK to have a clinical, non-erotic discussion of stories that are in the news (e.g. when pornstar Mike Dozer got convicted for having sex with a 14 year old). We do not allow perpetrators to tell their stories. If you see anything that violates those policies (too erotic, or told from the point of view of the perpetrator), please report it using the report button immediately below the offending post. We do impose pretty stiff infractions for people who go over the line. That said, my unscientific impression is that a surprising number of gay guys were abused as kids (using "abused" in the legal sense – a fair number of the "victims" don't see it as abuse). And people who start young tend to be pretty kinky later in life. So it makes sense that a lot of the guys here have experienced what you're talking about.
  11. It should be mentioned that, while Descovy is better than Truvada in some regards (not all), Truvada is completely sufficient for the vast majority of people. Truvada is about to go generic in the US (it already is generic in other parts of the world), so if your doctor switches you to Descovy when you've had zero problems with Truvada, then your doctor is probably getting paid by Gilead (the drug company) and can't be trusted. (It's time to look for a new doc.) Back many moons ago I actually worked in pharmaceutical marketing and saw all this first hand. I coded and maintained a database that organized paid vacations for docs funded by pharma companies (actually they'd spend a few hours talking about how wonderful the drug was and then the rest of the day on the golf course or on the ski slopes). On top of that I had one doctor around that time where EVERY TIME I went to his office there was a pharmaceutical rep sitting in his waiting room wanting to talk to him. The kick backs the doctors get are real and can be rather obscene. A year's supply of Truvada costs a few hundred dollars to make. Yet, if they switch you to Descovy Gilead will charge around $15,000/year. It's not like they just discovered Descovy. They waited to release it now, just as Truvada is going generic, so they can keep their profits up. And we wonder why we can't seem to afford universal healthcare in this country… The difference in the costs of these two medications could provide basic healthcare for maybe a dozen or more kids. To me it's immoral to switch from Truvada to Descovy unless there is a medically valid reason for doing so (e.g. you're experiencing non-trivial problems and can't tolerate Truvada, or you have a family or personal history that requires you to reduce certain medical risks that are an issue with Truvada, but not Descovy).
  12. BTW, if anyone is having side effects in the hours after taking PrEP simply take it before bed. Then you'll sleep through the side effects.
  13. There's a lot of misinformation in this thread. So let me clear up a few things… [Everything I'm about to say is about Truvada, but may not be true about Descovy.] You can stop and start PrEP as much as you like. Poz guys cannot start and stop their meds as much as they like because their virus can become resistant when the drug levels are low. But neg guys don't have HIV, hence they have no virus that can become med-resistant. [Not that anyone implied otherwise.] When PrEP first came out they told people to take it for 7 days before having sex. But now "PrEP on Demand" is a thing and it's been validated (for gay men) by numerous studies. PrEP on Demand means you take 2 pills (at the same time) at least 2 hours before sex, then one pill every day until 48 hours after your last sexual encounter. That protocol works and is approved by a number of major countries (France being the most prominent). The initial IPERGAY study involved people who were having sex regularly to the point that they averaged ~4 pills/week, but later studies have shown that that protocol is also effective for guys who don't have much sex. The other thing to know is that Truvada has a very long half life. So if you're taking it daily and stop, you still have >90% protection a week later. But then the levels of protection drop off pretty quickly, so you'll hear stories about infections 10-14 days after stopping. The other thing that the studies have showed was that almost no one who took at least 4 pills in a week has become poz. That said, it also depends on the nature of your risk. Drug levels are quite high in the digestive system (e.g. in your colon), so if your risk is primarily anal, then lower doses are possible. However, people who have vaginas (and possibly tops) probably need to take PrEP every day. In other words bottoms take more than they need so women, trans guys, and tops get enough. The bottom line is start and stop as much as you like provided you remember to actually take the pills when you're supposed to. No harm will be done if you're taking it daily and forget a pill here or there. But if you're using PrEP on Demand you can't forget to take the pills – there's much less margin for error. I hope you can parse all of that into something that will work for you…
  14. It's done. The data wasn't deleted. I've had really bad results from deleting data (I've managed to bring down the entire site). But the expiration date on the infractions was changed. I don't know what happens when something expires. I don't know whether it gets deleted or just doesn't count toward points next time you get an infraction. What I see when I read that is "I came into your house, made a mess, was asked to leave and not come back for a few days. That's just completely rude of you do to that." Ummm. No. It's rude to make a mess in someone else's house. Be happy they're OK with you coming back (after a cooling off period). Intent is irrelevant. They had to clean up after you. Please folks, no more discussion about the current infraction system. That's not what this thread is about.
  15. So, after talking to DrScorpio I realized that the current infraction system wasn't working the way I thought it was working. Infractions will now always expire – anywhere from 90 days for minor stuff to 2 years for serious stuff (most often 1 year). The number of points and expiration period are now always moderator modifiable (which means be nice to the moderators!) Old infractions that weren't set to expire have had their expiration dates set. (180 days from date of infraction where it was 1 or 2 points, 1 year for 3-5 points, and 2 years if over 5 points). That's still pretty strict, but better than it was… My apologies for not realizing what was happening.

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