SilverMoon

My best friend has a twin brother. It's kinda funny because for me they're almost the same person. I love them both. I haven't seen their dicks in erection but I bet they are the same. Twins for me are a special kind of humans. Yeah I know the usual, each case is different and blah blah. For me they are two people who try to say "hey we're two, not one in double" and at the same time they act as one. Dizygotic twins (fraternal) are just two siblings born from the same uterus the same time. Different eggs met different sperm. Monozygotic twins come from a confused cell that self-doubled. It's like you cut something in half and the halves regenerate the other half. All that fiction about telepathy etc comes from that kind of twins.

I think things have greatly improved in my country about being gay but huge steps still need to be done. Most young people would be cool about one being gay but the same does not apply for people in the 40s and older. He was always asking me to rub or scratch his back. We were watching some ASMR videos (which pretty much have relaxing sounds and personal attention routines to relax you) so sometimes I do something similar to him. I've even washed his hair. We also cook together. Usually, because I return home before he does, I cook for him. I love the feeling that I take care of him. But I think he does too, he bakes some oat cookies for me so I always have that for breakfast. About his romantic life? I think he's horny all the time but he's not into one night stands. He is into relationships, I don't think he's fucked many different women because of that, but when he's with one they're fucking all the weekend. I deeply love him and I have romantic feelings towards him. But sometimes I just feel I want to fuck him hard and feel his tight hole become loose.

Sorry for not answering these days. I had tons of work and spent many hours with my brother. Chances are against me, why would he ever want to be with his brother? I don't wanna planning schemes about how he will fall for me. The other day he asked me to rub his back and so I did. Actually I overdid it, I had him lie down and rubbed all of his back. He feel asleep. That moment I got to taste what happiness feels like. For that tiny moment I was happy. And the memory of this makes me happy. But me being with him is a day dream. I jerk off thinking of him. I try to cope.

I'm not sure he would be positive towards counselling. He wants to know what I'm doing. He won't prevent me from something but he just wants to know. I can't understand what's so difficult for him about gay sex. It's like these people who watch a horror movie and at the same time they close their eyes? Sometimes I think that he just needs to be exposed to details so as to understand that it's not a big deal. He's fucking a lot from time to time. I believe there are periods that he's almost crazy about sex and others he's more naive. I was looking for the right word but I couldn't pick one. So maybe not dominate but something less intense. He's very protective. Some years ago our father passed and he tried to be the "leader". Of course I didn't let all that burden on his shoulders. I made sure that he knows we're a team and we support each other. He enjoys being in charge. He also "listens" to me. There was a small period that he was often drunk. He's a musician and he sings (he's kinda known, not a celebrity but many know who he is). I felt that would be bad for him and his art. I was tempted to touch him when drunk. I think I've never been tempted that much in my life. I didn't touch him. But I told him that if I smell alcohol from his breath I will be sad and he just stopped it. Not drunk and no excessive drinking.

open to "being with me" or to me "being gay"? I have no reason to believe that we could be a couple. I do know for a fact that he loves me and he likes to interfere with my decisions and be in charge. Not that this could mean anything beyond that. Sometimes I dated older guys (in their 40s) and he was furious. Older guys are a red flag for him. He believes they will hurt me. But he's very ok with guys my age. When I wass 17 he had given me money to go to the movies with my bf several times. However I feel he likes to "dominate" me. I believe he feels threatened by older guys bcz he wants him to be the more experienced guy/my mentor or something. He hates the idea that I'm surrendered to an older's man dick. Not that he wants to fuck me. He wants me to dominate and not be dominated and if I'm to be under a man's wings it's his wings. I thiink that's what is in his mind. I'm notsure if I make sense.

@BootmanLAI know it's a hard thing to discuss and pretty impossible to be discussed to friends. It's that kind of info that you just can't risk. I won't take my chances. But this is an anon forum and even if I had my full name and photo I doubt any of my "friends" would be here. My brother knows 'm gay. He figured on his own in a strange way when I was 16. He knew for several months he didn't know what to do (he thought weird things about me) and he had distanced himself. It felt weird too because he was overthinking all that period. And one day he told me he knows I'm gay (he hard overheard a fight with my then bf). Plus, that time a father had beaten to death in our country his son for being gay. He told me that he was thinking about that and he said he's nothing like that. He only said that he worries about me, he wants me to take care and always ask him. In time he was very cool with that he knew all my bfs. He will even say oh I'm sure u will like that guy. He's an open minded guy. Maybe me being gay pushed him not to be narrow minded. He's a musician and I always took these people to be cooler about these things (that's my theory). He's caring and loving towards me. He likes being dominant (he's the older brother) and I like to prove myself so that keeps us very close. We sleep together from time to time. He has called me a jealous kitten because I'm not very happy when he's too busy (but I try not to show it) He has asked me several things about sex. I'm not sure he wants to know. He's making the question but the answer is too much for him sometimes. I avoid bringing men to the house and he has told me that it's okay and that he wants me to be safe and he's worried I may look at dangerous places to have sex (if the other guy can't accomondate or even if the other guy is not dangerous). Maybe it's blurred in his mind? Gay guy want to fuck/be fucked not kill anyone or something. He says that if anything happens to me he will never forgive himself.

I know incest is a big fetish around the net but for me it's much more complicated. I really need to discuss that but gay guys (I wouldn't dare to ask a str8 person about that) will either say that I'm abnormal or that they want a threesome. Nobody will bother to investigate the emotional part. It's not a fetish or anything similar. I just love him more than words can tell. I'm 26 he's 28. I'm gay and he's str8. We have a very good relationship and we're more attached than most siblings. We live together. We just got back from vacations. We're both singles now so we decided to go on our own. It felt as if we were a couple. I was thinking that I would be so happy if we spent our lives like this. I don't know what to do. I try to repel all these thoughts since I don't know when but this feeling won't fade.