iBLASTinside

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... A blind leading the blind mentality seems to permeate the world. We don’t want our children to be taught about sex or they might have it. Yet we all have cocks and*vaginas*and asshole and clits. Then there’s this thing called the Internet and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which goes where. Before you know it, little honors student and Christian Jessica Jane Lister is pregnant with football quarterback Cody Wall’s baby and they’ve both got genital warts. We want our schools to teach creationism but not evolution but we don’t want our churches to support science. Hell, the Georgia Legislature is trying to pass a law that citizens have a right to carry guns into their churches, so we can kill the preacher if he says something blasphemous (like Jesus turned water into wine; wrong! Jesus turned water into grape juice). It stands to reason that a lot of the hate I’ve garnered causing people to protest against Str8Cam Jeff *and others steams from a misunderstanding of my most controversial posts about stealthing. I know a lot of my readers think stealthing is hot, hot, hot. You jerk off to it. It’s the forbidden fruit. All of us have fantasies we all enjoy, just beyond the borders of what we’d really do. Then again, it might be something we do. In the barebacking world, there’s bug-chasing and gift-giving along with a Russian roulette of who-the-fuck-cares breeds us. But I am known for stealthing, for giving the world the top 10 tips for stealthing , for explaining barebacking in meaningful ways that there’s no denying what’s really happening. I have been deceptive. And that’s not explaining all my motivations. [h=2]The Entire Truth[/h]Whenever I watch a magician*— even someone like Lance Burton or David Copperfield*— it’s become second nature for me to figure out how the trick is done. It’s not really hard to do. I can’t stand to watch “America’s Got Talent” and to see Howie Mandel be amazed at a relatively simple trick and to say, “I don’t know how you did that!” I can tell you. When I began the entries on busting condoms, taking condoms off and other forms of sabotage, the outrage was palpable. Most hated it. Many thought I’d broken some sacred contract. How, I have no idea. Anonymous sex is just that. Why they have this higher-than-mighty sense one must adhere to a code when fucking someone who you don’t even know their first name, I don’t comprehend. Why? And especially why when one knows the other person isn’t put into any harm. The mighty think that the stealther has some puss-filled cock shooting out disease upon infection and reigning some*destruction upon the other. Nonetheless, until I started writing about it, no one was. I don’t count myself as some savior. I don’t. But I do see some of what I wrote as an education. I do explain if you’re stupid enough to want to fuck in places where you’re not going to know your top or bottom, how one might protect oneself. How to bring your own condoms, monitor the use of the condoms and maintain your own safety. You are accountable for your own safety. No one else. [h=2]Welcome to Real Life[/h]It’s so very odd how some consider this bond of sex sacred even though you’re fucking with a stranger. For example, if a journalist is speaking to a source and the source wants to go “off the record” — meaning the content to follow is not to be published or broadcast*— the journalist must agree to do so verbally as well. It must be stated so and both parties have to make an agreement. Pulling out a condom just with the assumption someone will wear it doesn’t work that way. I’m not saying this stuff just to piss people off. I’m trying to get reality to sink in. This is how the world works. Assuming an asshole top who wants to get off raw or a bottom who wants a load is going to fuck according to some honor code is just plain stupid. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] scott williams bareback (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... This post comes with a heavy heart because I write it about someone I considered a friend. In a way, we were loosely business partners, as I supported his products on my website. Business changed in the last couple of years and, growing vocal protests over me, forced my friend into an*untenable position. Or so it’s conveyed to me. Look, I know there’s a bunch of flakes online and I’m all about exposing catfish*. And people lie. You can’t tell liars via e-mail or Twitter. But I have no reason to believe Jeff is telling a fib, as this issue has developed. I sort of feel sorry for the guy. I’m also sorry Jeff couldn’t find the strength to stand up. Those of you online, especially on Twitter, will recognize Jeff as Str8Cam. He’s a hot, muscular straight guy who jacks off online to what was once thousands of horny admirers. Those numbers have dwindled since the rise of Xtube.com, Tumblr.com and other free sources of porn. Jeff needed another source of income and since his gay-for-pay philosophy extended only so far as jerking off, he landed on a potential gold mine in the form of a lubricant that looked like, felt like and smelled like cum. Jeff began marketing it at Str8Cam Lube. Now Jeff isn’t the first to come up with such a thing. Bad-Dragon.com*, which offers unusually shaped dildos, also offers its own CumLube (even before Jeff). I’d ordered from them. But Jeff*— being directly supportive of a the gay community despite his own disappointing heterosexuality*— caused me to switch it up. Being that I’m a barebacker (and many of my readers are fans of the raw sex and like some spunk), Jeff created a fan base for his product, which he started a second line called SpunkLube to attract a straighter audience. In the course of my writings, I explain how Jeff’s product might be used as a tool in deceptive practices. By the way, I’ve also discussed the use of many other brand name products including Durex Rainbow Condoms,*Vaseline, etc., in similar methods. Jeff didn’t know I included him. Neither did Bad Dragon nor Durex. When Jeff started getting*harassed, it was brought to his attention. He e-mailed me and I added a statement to the “offending” page*. Threats continued against Jeff and his products. Even though his products are condom safe (and plenty of lube makers create condom-unfriendly lubricants), Jeff is being punished for something I’ve written. Jeff has asked me to take my posts down. He’s asked me to remove reference to his products. I won’t. What I am doing is explaining to you all, dear readers, how someone has been unfairly maligned for something that they have no right to be. Jeff is a public figure and he gets naked and jerks off on camera practically daily. And while I may be suggesting his product be misused, it’s no different than someone not following the recipe on the back of a Duncan Hines cake box or playing Monopoly with my own set of rules. Why people have chosen to single-out Jeff, I have no idea. It makes me wonder if there’s some retribution because Jeff, in his non-judgmental approach to all gays*— even barebackers. He chats with us all on Twitter. While I don’t make a dime from this, allow me to suggest you all still support Jeff. But please, do not purchase Str8Cam Lube *or SpunkLube *from a store. Purchase it directly from Jeff’s websites. And if you’re really feeling generous, join his jerk-off website at Str8Cam.com . If it upsets you a little too much, consider purchasing Bad Dragon’s CumLube* instead. It’s practically the same thing. And if you’re one of the bullies fucking around with this muscleman’s wallet, fucking stop it. [h=2]Postscript[/h]Show Jeff some love. Follow him on Twitter and tell him you support him, his products and his right to sell to whomever he pleases. And if you’re a barebacker, let him know that too. His Twitter name is @Str8Cam*. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] breeding stealth gay fuck (2) gay guys who cum dump up there mates arses (1) tumblr cum inside multiple loads (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Whenever you hear someone say, “I’m not racist,” they’re about to spout something racist. And so I believe when folks say they’re not judgmental. Of late, a quiet storm of hate*— you can attempt to call it disapproval, dismay or other such terms, but it truly boils down to hate*— has spread to the corners of the Internet. It’s generated a kind of peer pressure, not unlike the vocal Tea Party. A small minority within the majority. And those people, the*squeaky*wheels, have created a disproportionate voice among the many to silence a voice that had finally begun to rise. Barebacking is not an activity of the minority of positive men who are about to die anyway. Recent scientific surveys revealed about half of gay men engage in raw sex. And that outrages the conservative wing of the gay vocals. This, along with the rise of the Bareback Brotherhood , my blog, Raw Top’s blog , BarebackRT.com*, Treasure Island Media*, porn performers going raw**and other such events coming to light makes for nothing short of radicalization by some. It’s in quiet corners but it’s having an impact. I’m going to share what’s happening over the next couple of entries. I’ve written about some things*. And to many who claim not to be judgmental, those folks seem to enjoy calling me and others brutal names and attempting at humor to blunt something nothing less than radical right hatred. [h=2]Explaining Myself[/h] I do want to thank those who write me small notes of encouragement when they see, hear and read the attacks. My blog is about me and all the dichotomies I embody and, without reading everything, some choose to select entries and judge me based on those. But I choose to believe we all struggle with our place on the planet and, no matter how sincere that sounds, someone’s going to twist that into me sounding something other than sincere. I understand that I fuck my way through man after man, sometimes through a gloryhole , and that “intimate” act could seem anything but intimate. Some of my friends consider fucking as friendly as “hello” and the most intimate act being a French kiss. I’ve put myself into the handler space and attempted a little pup play, but that just never floated my boat. It’s not my place to attack those choices if one chooses to belittle another. Perhaps my occasional need to have the opportunity to use a hole comes from being used myself as a molested child**and unusual urges that wanted it to happen sometimes*. Perhaps I’m just an asshole that way. However, I never force anyone to back their ass up to a gloryhole . I don’t have a leash or a whip. No one’s been trained or chained. I started this blog as an exploration of my sexual being and my life. It’s become much more than that. I’m not apologizing for my humanity. And the explanation of who I am isn’t over. The day the blog ends is the day that explanation is over. I have a feeling it’s the day I die. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] treasure island slammed ******* gay (2) barebackrt hook up (1) cum asshole (1) iblastinside com gay-2 (1) tumblr gay raw (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Flakes are universal, along with fakes and catfish*. This I know. But when it comes to superstar flaking out, New Hampshire takes the fucking cake. In fact, my visit to Concord might take the bakery. Allow me to explain. I always post future destinations in my travel plans on my BarebackRT.com profile*. I notify readers here *that I’m visiting. Of course, all this is tweeted**and ends up on my Facebook*. To enhance it all further, I post on Craigslist an add that looks something like the following: TOP blogger visiting looking for bottom writing inspiration – m4m (Concord Area) I’m a blogger who writes about my sexual experiences on the road with bottoms I encounter…*My blog is read by thousands every single day, reproduced on several sites and even some entries*end up on a famous porn studio’s website. Perhaps you might like to be the inspiration for a piece when I slide into town next week? I don’t identify the bottoms I fuck, just write about the experience… Hit me up with your info — a pic, stats, etc. I’ll respond with my blog details so you can check it out.*We’ll go from there. The site contains a lot of information beyond my fucks. And if you happen to be a top, we can*tag team or maybe you’d like to try sitting on my cock… it’s a perfect 7 inches cut. Thanks! P.S. The only major requirement (other than bottoming for me) is that you don’t smoke. From all this, I do get a lot of inquiries. Most of them are lurkers who never intend to meet. This I get. It’s also an opportunity to find new people to read my blog since not all barebackers have found the Bareback Brotherhood or my blog. With many there’s the “I just fuck safe,” and then more than half switch their story. *But some don’t. Yet, with my blog, it becomes a jerk-off destination for many. When I do finally arrive, I e-mail the best back to see if they’re still up for that fuck. [h=2]Arriving in Concord[/h] My arrival in Concord allowed me to long in locally to BarebackRT.com, Grindr, Scruff and Manhunt.net, all of which use a geographic tool to notify one who’s closest. I also posted to Craigslist. Two men of the many interested e-mailed me back saying they were still up for the fuck, but one 4 p.m. pump-and-dump session became a no-show with regrets arriving several hours later because he was “stuck somewhere.” Flake. All of my online activity netted me a lot of interest. A lot. I was fresh meat in a town that didn’t see a lot. Of course, I got the usuals… People just wanting to collect photos, see my cock or face. I had one prospect on BarebackRT… he was a fucking hot dude in his late twenties… seemed like a good one. But here’s where we begin one issue that baffled me for Concord. He had no vehicle. I needed to come to him and pick him up, bring him back to my hotel to fuck and then take him home. Now please check out the map. Concord is not a major city. It’s 1½ hours north of Boston. It’s not a walking city. How can you not have a car and survive, especially when you’re not in college? This turned into a theme of the night. No car. No transportation. My car is in the shop. My car is in the shop due to the storm. I don’t have a car. By the way, none of these bottoms ever asked where I was staying to see if I happened to be within walking distance. I don’t guess Northeastern tops teach bottoms they’re the ones who need to make the effort*. While some of them were hot enough for me to go and fetch them, it turns out I didn’t rent the car but a colleague did. I simply wasn’t an option. Then came the other morons. I also get a collection of those who want to postpone. These guys appear in every city, without fail. I wonder if they ever fuck. All conversations go something like this. THEM: “How long you in town?” ME: Just tonight (no matter how long I’m in town, I always say I’m here “just tonight”) THEM: “Damn! It’s getting late tonight.” ME: It’s just 9:30. THEM: “I know but I have to get up early. I wish you were here…” fill in the blank with “tomorrow night” or “this weekend” In other words, they can never come over now or today. [h=2]Proximity Alert[/h] My first promising opportunity looked like a threesome, which I won’t get into too much detail on. In his early thirties and a scruffy blond, wanted to know if I wanted to fuck both him and another guy, in his early twenties*— both online at the same time. As if on cue, the younger one sends me a message. The younger one asks if I’ve got poppers, which of course I do. Then he asks if I’ve got anything “more fun.” WTF. “Dude,” I respond back. “You’re well aware I’ve come into town. That means I flew. That means I went through security. At an airport. Are you fucking kidding me? Why would I have any drugs?” He responds, “Oh yea, I guess you’re right. But I still want to fuck.” Anyway, the vibe is off and the duo then go even more weird. The young one claims the old one is stalking him. The old one claims they’re “together.” I don’t want to get into the shit. Kick them both to the curb. [h=2]Right Downstairs[/h] One last opportunity happens as a guy indicates he’s in a hotel. I ask which one and it turns out he’s in the same one as I am. Bingo. He won’t disclose his room, so I give him mine, knowing my colleague isn’t on that floor. He tells me he needs 10 minutes to shower and get cleaned up. Those 10 minutes pass. Then another 10. Another 10. Yet another 10. And at 45 minutes, I finally message him. He apologizes, saying it’s taking him longer than he thought to clean out his ass. Whatever, I say, just get his ass to my room. Then he says come to his. I tell him I don’t have his room number. He says okay, he’s now putting on his clothes. At an hour after we started this exchange, he says he’s on his way. Then I get a text asking me if I’ll suck his dick too. I’m baffled. I just ask, “What?” Then he writes, “I need to run by the front desk real quick.” Fuck that. This fucker is just playing me. “Forget it.” He gets all bent out of shape. Says he won’t go by the front desk. Blah blah blah. After some back and forth, I say he can some to my room, but he has three minutes to get there. He says he doesn’t like my attitude. I tell him to fuck off. The next morning, he begs me to come to his room to fuck him. I tell him I’m not*disturbing* guests actually staying in the hotel. [h=2]Postscript[/h] Perhaps the little fucker actually was staying in the hotel or maybe he was one of the guys I’d e-mailed earlier and said I was in town and knew the hotel from that. I’ll never know. I’m proud I never knocked on anyone’s door. That shit pisses me off. He probably kept delaying things to try and get someone else to come over and knock on my door but, like me, couldn’t find anyone to do it. My luck is your luck, fucker. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... I’ve pissed off the massage therapist blond Chad*. First, I enjoyed myself. I wanted to hit him up again for another session. Second, I’d gotten a few e-mails from folks asking if the hottie ever would entertain barebacking. Chad had written me a nice note thanking me for the review shortly after it appeared. I’d e-mailed it to him. Apparently he forgot it. For all the nice things I wrote, he focused on one section: I’d like to say he’s a little down on his luck, but his attitude seems so cheerful as he’s figuring out where he wants to go. Or maybe he’s just a wandering gypsy nowadays. … since his hotel room is so damn small, he can’t really accommodate a massage table. After a little exchange where he seemed confused after thanking me for my review, he sent me this: I am by no means down on my luck, or a nomad. I know exactly what I want out of life. I still have no idea where the bareback thing came from. I’m not really worried about what people say about me online. I put myself out there so I expect a certain amount of bitterness. You can’t please everyone. I got another response. I’m actually a very happy person. I make tons of money and work at my own pace. No I do not bb. Let me explain my reasoning. Perhaps Chad is just frugal. I don’t mean to assign anyone’s particular motivations to their choice of accommodations. But when it comes to cheap chain hotels, Chad at least stepped it up from one that didn’t leave the light on for him. However, the $39.99 a night on the nearby interstate didn’t help making it seem a little low-end. I usually respect people and a certain degree of their privacy. When I wrote that his room was small, it was tiny. Moreover, Chad’s belongings were crammed and stacked*— neatly*— into absolutely every single space. The path from the door (by the bathroom door) went to the end of the bed. Both sides of the bed were crammed full. I don’t doubt he’s about as “happy” as he could be —*or at least he’s got a great attitude. And I know some people are nomadic, enjoying traveling the planet. Hell, if I were young and hot, I think I’d do it. No bitterness was intended. I always explain the space where the therapist works. Is it a tidy, tranquil, dedicated massage space, the messy dorm-like room or are you afraid a teetering mountain of belongings stacked to the ceiling might tip over and fall upon you? I believe that this is important information for a client to consider. I like Chad. I still do. But he’s extra*sensitive, snaps back fast and can’t take the reviews he’s going to be subject to in his profession. I’m not going to drop his rating. I still want you all to support him when he visits. But keep in mind, he’s got ‘tude. * * * *** * * ** [h=2]Want to be included in my massage therapist or escort review list?[/h] If you would like to be reviewed, feel free to contact Mark Bentson at his*contact page**or via e-mail*iblastinside@gmail.com*. These entries are at the discretion of Mark Bentson and in no way would any services provided to Mark guarantee or indicate any review (positive or negative) may or may not appear on*these pages*. Also, while I travel, keep in mind I don’t mind rentb-ys, gay/bi/straight massage therapists or other kinds of outcall servicers while visiting cities like Indianapolis*or Concord, NH . Reviews of male escorts, companions and massage therapists in the Atlanta area are included here. Mark also provides training to those escorts, companions and massage therapists as well as marketing services such as web, e-mail, blog and social media advice for compensation and barter. Mark can maximize the financial intake you receive by teaching you*basics** as well as advanced techniques. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Another in the series of iBLASTinside’s Friday Fuck Fun. Young Frank was eager to prove to Liam Cole that he’s as hungry a fuckhole as our London director has ever met. So Liam called in thick-dicked topmen Kevin, Nikos, and Anton, and handed the kid over to them. Frank goes after their cocks like a drowning man being tossed a life preserver. While the cock slut devours one slab of manmeat after another, Anton takes advantage of his preoccupation to get a taste of his hole. Then the fun really begins as the three tops take turns pounding Frank’s ass, pushing him closer and closer to the pinnacle of ecstasy. Filled with multiple loads and surrounded by the men who dumped them, Frank joins them in ultimate satisfaction as he beats off. DIRECTOR: Liam Cole [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] treasure island media barebacked (4) treasure island media slammed ******* download (1) tumblr gay bareback share hole (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... This bareback top is back to traveling again and the good news is I’m off to new destinations never before seen! I’ll be making a quick journey to New Hampshire (sorry for such a short one, New Englanders, but that’s all I can offer). I’ll just be there one night, so a quick fuck in my hotel is all I can make work. Of course, I’ll have all my details with my travel schedule as part of my BarebackRT.com profile*. All other upcoming travel will be appearing (there might be a Midwest visit already posted, hint-hint). If you’ve got a hot ass near Concord, NH, and you meet my criteria*, get in touch with me . [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] mark and buddy hard bareback double pemetration (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... When Treasure Island Media *tweeted that former Hot House muscle man Derek Parker went raw, I retweeted. One of my followers responded he was glad to see the porn star came over to the “dark side.” I quickly responded. “I prefer to see it as @DerekParkerXXX *became enlightened.” And I do. Barebacking is an enlightened choice because one considers all the options and chooses this one. It’s controversial for a condom performer to go bareback. But nonetheless, I find it brave. Through the years of writing this blog, I’ve had correspondence with several porn performers (I’ve just yet to fuck one). In my discussions, most may fuck on film with condoms and go with the “safer” sex messaging because*— for a while*— that’s where the money happened to be. But in their personal lives, these men did just like all the rest of us: They fucked raw. I found even as an escort, one “safer” porn star visiting Atlanta *was willing to breed me, even though he knew I was the author of this blog. I imagine if I’d gone incognito, I could have slipped by him and maybe gotten a load in his ass if I’d been willing to pay. [h=2]Two New Enlightened Raw Performers[/h]None of this is to say that either Devin Moss or Derek Parker were ever barebacking before these scenes with TIM, although let’s just say I have my suspicions they weren’t unfamiliar with what happens. Interestingly enough, both ended up paired with Morgan Black. I don’t know the order of filming. It would have been interesting to have Devin Moss breed Derek Parker. [h=3]Devin Moss[/h]So super twink Devin Moss with his super-huge cock went bareback (although there’s been little fanfare despite his almost 10,000 followers on Twitter). I hear rumors that Devin’s close to retiring or at least taking a break, which would be a shame considering he just kicked off his new barebacking portion of his career and could garner tens of thousands of more followers and fans. I can only hope he reconsiders and goes for the gusto because I’ll be damned if he could become a superstar twink top of barebacking (who’s with me on this?*). But here’s a few pics I found out there as*Devin got his huge cock into Morgan’s ass. [h=3]Derek Parker[/h]And Morgan breeds Derek. You can welcome them both to barebacking via Twitter: @DevinMossXXX *and*@DerekParkerXXX*. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] treasure island media pozing (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... How much I love asking the question, “Raw or wrapped?’ If I’m on Grindr or Scruff or Manhunt (I’ve got a free trial) or Craigslist, it’s a question that’s bound to come up. And ever-so-quickly, as soon as it does, the response about half the time is “wrapped” or “safe.” Fuck, just look at the young man to the right*— he wrote “Always safe.” And I wrote, “Oh. Too bad. I’m not.” Immediately*— not even a minute passed*— before he said he’d fuck raw. Recently, a survey found about half of all gay men said they fucked bareback while the other half said they fucked safe. This is a flawed study because, I believe, when confronted with someone a bottom want to fuck him, he’ll go raw almost every time. Believe me, I get more ass this way. A lot of you may think I’m out there stealthing ass *left and right. No. I’m not. I only do that at sex clubs, adult bookstores or bathhouses where anonymous hook-ups are rampant and, even then, it’s rare. Most everywhere else, the horny man will go raw without hesitation. [h=2]The Tanned, Tattooed Lasian[/h]I’m downtown running errands and, whenever that happens, I see that as an opportunity to get some. Honestly, Grindr and Scruff are hit and miss. Plus it’s a Wednesday in Atlanta**and I know that’s a craptastic day. But the common chime goes off on the ole iPhone and I begin chatting it up with what looks to be a light-skinned Latino. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I have a thing about exotics*— any Asian or Latin flavor. Well, we all also know I’m an equal opportunity fucker*, glad to breed most any ass. The 27-year-old had shitty photos, but it didn’t much matter to me. He’d turned off his distance meter but seemed pretty damn close. And we were getting along. He liked my cock shots. He asked me to come over to fuck him. “Raw or wrapped?” I asked. “Wrapped.” I turned him down, letting him know I just fucked raw. Now I expect bottoms to come back with an invitation anyway, but his response shocked even me. “Okay, well, you can fuck me raw as long as you cum in me,” he typed. “I have no problem breeding your ass,” I wrote back. Soon I had an address and was on my way. Turned out I was only 3 minutes away from his apartment complex. He answered the door with just a towel. A 6-feet tall, this beefy man’s wide, smooth chest looked just meaty and delicious. He was deeply tanned. And those horrible photos just couldn’t make up for the vision before me. Tattoos scattered his body. In fact, throughout our session, every move would cause me to discover a new tattoo*— he had at least a dozen. Some as small as a dime while others were much larger. His nipples pointed down toward his belly. He escorted me to the bedroom and dropped his towel while I began taking off my clothes. His large flat nose gave him a Hawaiian look but the Asian truly stood out. That is, as he jacked his uncut cock and it stood up a rigid 8 inches and very wide. Now that wasn’t Asian cock. It was truly Latin. We went down to business, him snorting my poppers*, sucking my cock, kissing me with his*luscious thick lips and begging very soon for me to eat his ass and fuck him. His legs and ass were covered with dark, wiry hair (again, symptoms of Latin descent). I worked his hole just a little before he wanted my rock hard cock inside him. His padded tanned skin next to my mighty white seemed like an odd dichotomy, but it worked as my cock slipped inside and he snorted more on those poppers. With him on his back, my cock thrusting inside him, he soon began begging for my nut. “You want it already?” I said, knowing we’d only been fucking a few minutes. But I was on errands and didn’t have long. But I didn’t mind making this a quick one. As fast as he was jerking his cock, I knew I wouldn’t have long anyway. “Breed me man,” he said. I snorted the poppers now and went plunging over the edge. I bred his ass, pushing my cum inside him and letting him know he’d gotten my load. Then I pulled out and dressed. “Damn,” he said. “Thanks. I’ve been looking all day for someone to come over and fuck me. You were the first one serious enough to do it.” “Glad to help out,” I said. And I left. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] gay bareback fuck stories (2) mason wyler cock (2) baebacked with poppers (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... See the other* Atlanta Massage Therapists**previously reviewed. [h=1]Chad Turns Blond into Gold-Star Service[/h][h=2]Chad[/h][h=4]Profile on MasseurFinder.com as*Chad* Inactive profile on MassageM4M.com as Chad* His online cell is listed as (323) 899-7688[/h][h=3]Highlights[/h] *Chad earn the best rating of all 10 currently reviewed therapists *33 years old, 6 feet tall, 175 pounds, dirty blond with unshaven look, light blue eyes and 7 inches cut *Massages in the nude with light body hair, nicely trimmed where it needs to be *Mutual touch is allowed and the way he maneuvers, it’s practically encouraged *His massage is Swedish based and on a bed in his hotel room, as he’s currently traveling the country *In the Atlanta area, he’s currently staying I-85 near Druid Hills Road but that could change *When he leaves Atlanta, he’ll be in Nashville, Knoxville, Arkansas and eventually San Francisco Atlanta’s massage therapists *bring a certain lackluster approach to their skills. I’ve tried a few and am looking to try more. It’s a challenge because most massage therapists don’t seem to know a damn thing about customer service (but that’s another entry). What I want to write about is Chad. For the past month or so, I’ve been seeking a good therapist who knows a thing or two about connecting with a client. I’ve been able to get a decent massage*— at least technically good. The therapist will find the knots, work it out for a while, make me feel some pain. A little while later, the therapist will make me feel good. But all the while, this gulf is between us. We are two people, going through motions and not sensing how the other feels. I wrote a long while back about my two Filipino massage therapists , one of whom I had when I lived in Washington, D.C. This guy had the most incredible body, was half my age, but during our massage could find this weird space that created a kind of mindmeld where the two of us would*synchronize. Look, I do not get off on a blowjob, much less a handjob. But with a few strokes after his build up, this guy had be blasting all over myself. [h=3]Back to Chad[/h]Let’s just say things could have been rocky with Chad. I’d like to say he’s a little down on his luck, but his attitude seems so cheerful as he’s figuring out where he wants to go. Or maybe he’s just a wandering gypsy nowadays. He has some adventures to tell, I’m sure. But he made it easy to set things up and I met him. Like me, his sense of humor is a little twisted. And since his hotel room is so damn small, he can’t really accommodate a massage table. Thank God. His technique allowed this kind of luxurious relaxed posed where he’d lounge next to me. It wasn’t so much trying to get his dick to touch my leg as the fact his body would just naturally seem to fit up against me. He started with my legs, which seemed a little weird. Then he worked up to my back. When he got to my shoulders, he almost cradled me in his arms and across his smooth (and trimmed) chest. Was it hot? Not. It was comfortable. And erotic. I mean, just felt right. Strangely so. I truly enjoyed his skill, although he never really integrated deep tissue. He picked up*intrinsically on those points of my body that provided more pleasure and worked them expertly. He just connected with me. We connected together. It was unspoken. In fact, when we spoke, I don’t know if we got along. But when we didn’t speak, he could weave some magic between us. [h=3]Best Massage Therapist Reviewed Yet[/h]The quality of the lotion could be much better, as it seemed to be generic and not meant to be for massage. And cleaning up with tissue paper rather than a towel didn’t really work for me. I think if those two had been in place, I’d definitely given him another half star to put him at 4½. Still, his 4-star rating earns Chad the best rating of all the massage therapists**I’ve seen in the area (and, frankly, out of the area) in recent years. I hope Chad let’s me know where he’s going so I can see him again. It will be well worth visiting him again. And while he’s in the Atlanta area, I encourage you all to seek him out and book an appointment. [h=2]Want to be included in my massage therapist or escort review list?[/h]If you would like to be reviewed, feel free to contact Mark Bentson at his*contact page**or via e-mail*iblastinside@gmail.com*. These entries are at the discretion of Mark Bentson and in no way would any services provided to Mark guarantee or indicate any review (positive or negative) may or may not appear on these pages. Reviews of male escorts, companions and massage therapists in the Atlanta area are included here. Mark also provides training to those escorts, companions and massage therapists as well as marketing services such as web, e-mail, blog and social media advice for compensation and barter. Mark can maximize the financial intake you receive by teaching you*basics** as well as advanced techniques. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... The tweet arrived from Mitch Mason , the rather handsome director of marketing for Treasure Island Media : Derek Parker joins the Bareback Brotherhood #BBBH I appreciate the notion and, indeed, former Hot House muscle man Derek Parker took a bareback load on TIMfuck.com *(I’ve got an upcoming blog post about him and another porn star switching from condom play to raw fucking in a couple of days).But I had to burst a couple of bubbles.Neither Derek nor Mitch are members of the Bareback Brotherhood.While membership in the Bareback Brotherhood is rather loose, we do ask one very simple thing, found on our website at BBBH.org/about :If you are on Twitter, add #BBBH to your Twitter bio line. Once you do that, please notify one of the Founders of the Bareback Brotherhood…Both Derek and Mitch would be welcome to join the #BBBH. I hope they both do. I’d adore welcoming them and all the other TIM porn performers as BBBH members.But they’re not. At least, not at this time. Other porn performers use them. [h=2]On using #BBBH[/h] There’s absolutely no restriction is using the #BBBH in a tweet to indicate some bareback activity. In fact, we encourage it.However, I do need to be a little cautious when it comes to actual membership and using the Bareback Brotherhood in regards to commercial ventures like porn.Another porn company (not Treasure Island Media) asked to use “Bareback Brotherhood” in a title of its porn. I declined.I told the porn company that we welcomed all of the performers to join #BBBH and that fact could be advertised beside each and every name of its performers. However, the Bareback Brotherhood isn’t associated with a single porn company.The idea of a brotherhood becomes a little twisted when we start to use it in association with just one commercial venture.If you do a search on Twitter for “BBBH”*, you’ll begin to see just how pervasive the use of the term is. The Bareback Brotherhood’s hashtag is used with hundreds of individuals, porn retweets and several who find what we do as a problem.We’re not a single company. We’re not a single person. We’re not a single tweet. [h=2]The #BBBH is full time, all the time[/h] That is why it is in my Twitter bio (and those of my fellow co-founders, @GAPozAthens *and @CH4SUK ). That’s why almost 2,000 men on Twitter have it in their bios, but another 1,200-plus men use the #BBBH hashtag and can’t bring themselves to actually embrace it fully and include it in their bios. Oh, and there’s a few more than 5,000 men registered on BBBH.org .No one supports this effort financially but me, and of the last 36 months, I’ve been employed full time only seven months. I’m currently unemployed. I’d love to say this is a labor of love but really, it’s one of necessity because no one else is out there spreading the truth about barebacking and the choice we, as men, have in fucking.While I appreciate porn*— hell, I fucking love some of it*— the job of these companies is not to do anything else but to make money. And if they can do it on the marketing back of a hashtag, they will. (Believe me, I know, my career is in marketing.) Forgive me for splicing it up, but if you want to claim a porn performer is in the Bareback Brotherhood, do us the courtesy of making sure that porn performer’s Twitter bio has the hashtag “#BBBH” in it. For goodness sake, we’re not asking for money or a donation. We’re just asking for an acknowledgement of our full-time struggle. A porn performer just might do it on screen. We live it. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] ass gay bareback tumblr (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... I love reading your blog! Not only is it hotter than fuck, but it’s also super informative. My partner and I are both in our 40s. He’s poz, I’m neg. Recently, after almost a decade together, we started fucking bareback. When I fuck him, I don’t*use a condom and I cum inside him. When he fucks me (which is more*frequent) he pulls out and cums on my ass. I’d love for him to cum*inside me but he won’t do it. He doesn’t want to be responsible for*making me poz. His viral load has been undetectable for years. What*are the risks to me if he were to cum inside me? I really want his*load in me. Your blog rocks! Kudos on you two sharing your DNA! Well, one of you is sharing yours, actually. You really want his and to experience jizzjoy . I’m going to give you the skinny first with a couple of alternatives. [h=3]What Your Doctor Might Say…[/h]What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Slap that condom on both of you and forget about it. [h=3]The Drug Route[/h]Serodiscordant *couples, as a physician would call you, makes the negative partner a perfect candidate for prophylaxis Truvada**regimen, which means you’d take the antiviral as a precaution against getting HIV. It’s an expensive choice and, in some cases, your insurance may not cover it since it’s just preventative. Plus, you may or may not suffer side effects of the drug. Now for what I really think. And part of me wants to take you both, slap you up side the head and then have your partner fuck you and teach you, as a bottom, how to make sure that fucking load ends up with it belongs. You’re both already doing everything else. [h=3]When You Fuck Your Boyfriend[/h]Let me paint a picture. This is your cock in the photo your provided to the right. It is 8 inches long and 4 inches around. Now because HIV is a little bugger, I’m just (for fuck’s sake) going to convert inches into millimeters because that’s the smallest measurement we all think of in our daily lives (but you’re going to be proud because your cock is going to sound huge). Your cock is 203 mm long and 102 mm around. The approximate surface area of your cock is 24,000 square millimeters (if your cock were a perfect cylinder, and that calculation skips the base). That much surface area is going into the HIV-rich juices of your boyfriend’s ass every time you fuck him. Every time. Deep in his gut. Visualize that for a moment. The smallest skin cut gives a route into your skin. Now to get really fucking real, HIV is 10,000 times smaller than a millimeter. HIV is about 0.1 micron. In other words, if we were to measure the area of your cock in microns, that would be 24 million square microns. And each square micron could give 100 bugs to pass through at any given time. Let’s multiply that out even more and say that the “holes” available for HIV to invade your body just through your cock’s surface area alone is something like 2.4 billion. But so far, you haven’t gotten it. It’s not like you’re not risking getting it when you fuck him. [h=3]When Your Boyfriend Tops You[/h]Has he put a cork in his cock? Has he assured there’s no precum slipping out through that pee-hole? I’ve never gotten the whole “pulling out” bullshit, which is why I blast inside (sorry, couldn’t resist). Now he’s inside you, pumping away. Your most vulnerable moments are when you first stretch out and microfissures can open up in the linings of the colon. The colon offers lots of opportunity to transfer bodily fluids both ways, but of course the bottom is receiving. As he’s fucking you in those early stages, he is grinding his fluids into your ass and into whatever openings are there. You’re getting his precum, his spit, his sweat, left over piss, and pretty much anything else between the two of you anyway. Take those same measurements and of his cock and you can take the amount of your interior skin being exposed to his fluids through that touch. I’m skipping your oral activity and the debatable kissing and other fun stuff. And I didn’t even bother to suggest there might be something a little more kinky going on. [h=3]Here’s the Point[/h]If you were to become poz, it likely would have already happened. But let me make the logical point. Your boyfriend’s viral load*— the amount of the virus in his blood*— is undetectable. I can’t stress this enough. Tests can’t detect it. I know it’s not an exact*congruence, but it’s like HIV has gone into remission. It’s hiding. It’s somewhere in the body, but you just don’t know where it is or when and where it will likely turn up. While there’s a chance that it could change at anytime and reemerge, for now he’s essentially negative. You’re both basically seroconcordant*. Either fuck or don’t. I personally say fuck. Your boyfriend needs to understand that you can just as easily become HIV-positive by what you’re currently doing if the virus decides to return. But tomorrow there could be an earthquake or an asteroid or a car wreck. I’m not suggesting you live your life as if you’ll die tomorrow. I’m suggesting you live your life as if the traffic light is on green all the time, not yellow. [h=3]Postscript[/h]You do need to be prepared for the possibility of conversion , even if you keep fucking the same way you are now. And while I wouldn’t pretend to know the nature of your relationship, I am betting you don’t have a problem with being poz. He’s not hearing you right now because he sees the prejudice that being positive brings among gays. I want that to stop as much as you do. My point of all this was to make it clear that you both are lucky to have found one another. It’s a wonderful thing to share and your partner needs to stop feeling guilty that he might expose you to something that you’re exposed to already. It’s a choice you’ve both made to share. I think it’s wonderful. [h=3]* * * ** * * * * ** * * ***[/h]Mark Bentson aka iBLASTinside welcomes getting messages from his readers and loves answering them.*Send a message to*iBLASTinside@gmail.com**or hit him up on*his contact page*. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] brothers bareback cum dump up his arse (2) stealth gay approach on boys ******* (1) tweaker gay bareback meth videos (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... I am blessed on this blog to have many, many readers. In fact, 2012 saw just short of a half million visitors to iBLASTinside.com. Thank you. As it turns out, 2013 looks like it will be even better. Don’t ask me what happened, but I saw a huge jump in readers starting Jan. 21. You can see it with online stats. I get e-mails, more often on BarebackRT.com**than any place. And I appreciate the kind words. But I’d truly love to see people comment more on the website. Whether it’s a couple of words or something more, the comments do mean something to me. Now telling me you’d wish I’d die or you’d like to kill me or I’m a horrible person… *I get a lot of hate mail in my inbox . That is crap I do delete. It does no good for me to print a dozen comments from condom Nazis *saying safer sex is the only viable option. However, if I get intelligent discourse, even from a condom Nazi, I’ll print it. Respect me, I’ll respect you. In general, I just want to read a little more from you. [h=3]Postscript[/h]I want to give a shout-out to Robert Alverez, a Psychic Witch in New York City who’s been devouring my blog of late and, with every post he reads, he comments. His own blog is available at*http://thetarotman.wordpress.com*. I won’t begin to say I understand Wiccan as a religion, although I knew several in my college years. I respect it as a faith*— much as I do with other faiths. Anyone who can adhere to faith and take that leap deserves my respect, as a skeptic, I cannot seem to stick with a faith since I’m someone who needs evidence. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... [h=2][/h] Welcome to a new review of poppers*— well, technically, I don’t consider this a popper. Thanks to a reader who wrote asking about it after reading the updated Guide to Poppers*. It’s a good question. So I decided to add it and explain myself. [h=2]Maximum Impact[/h] [h=4]RECOMMENDED FOR ADVANCED USERS ONLY[/h] Chemically, Maximum Impact and its sister aerosol cousins bear no resemblance to poppers*. Poppers are in the nitrite family and arrive in liquid form. Max Impact is an aerosol and is commonly known as an ethyl chloride, but in today’s chemical terms, a chloroethane*. You might recognize this class of products as the duster for your computer or a local*anesthesia that a doctor may use before cutting off a skin tag or wart. The most noticeable part of chloroethanes are the chilling effect when sprayed for a period of time. Even more chilling: Inhale them too much, and you could die. I didn’t know this fact when I tried Max Impact, which is sprayed into a rag or wash cloth and then held up to your face or mouth and breathed in deeply. As I took a whiff, taking in the sickly sweet scent against my now cold face, I felt almost nothing. Well maybe a slight tingle. Chloroethanes*act as a central nervous system system depressant. In other words, it lessens all sensations of your body. While poppers enhance sensations,*chloroethanes deaden the sensations. Not at all what I use poppers to experience. In the end, I find Maximum Impact actually deadens the impact of any fun and, frankly, makes for a less enhanced experienced. Should any chlorothane become 15 percent or more of the air you breathe, it could be deadly. As a safety precaution, always use these products with a friend nearby to monitor your use to remove the rag from your face. How do you like Maximum Impact? Rate this product by clicking the stars rating on this page! You can also comment below and post your own review.* [h=3]Pros[/h] I can find no quality that makes it qualify as a popper [h=3]Cons[/h] Could be deadly, it deadens all sensations. [h=3]Where to get Maximum Impact[/h] PictureBrite.com* Return to main Guide to Poppers page* More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Getting barebacking recognized as a legitimate option in sexual relations will not happen as an issue by itself. Despite the studies that have appeared showing at least half of all gay men bareback just doesn’t capture the attention of those who live in that state of denial where safe sex is hot sex . I wrote recently some ideas that need to be developed to reduce the chance of HIV transmission in barebacking*. Most of them do not exist but one does*— sort of. That’s Truvada . It’s a cocktail antiviral that’s been shown effective as an anti-HIV prophylactic*— meaning that men in “high risk categories” take the drug and it essentially prevents the body from contracting HIV. But tests also show that taking Truvada in the week following possible exposure to HIV also prevents contracting the virus permanently. It’s like Plan B *for gays. I think we should call it Plan T, for two reasons: 1. “T” for Truvada (or its generic name,*Tenofovir) 2. And the whole idea is to protect all the “T” cells. If we, as a barebacking community, needed a rally cry, I think we might have found it. It’s captured some attention on Twitter. Even Paul Morris of Treasure Island Media agrees with this. [h=2]Fighting Doctors and*Pharmaceutical*Companies[/h]Paul is right that doctors would fight it, but I think the greater fight would come from the drug companies. Just think of this: Have you heard of many cures of lately? Is there a cure for cancer? A cure for anything? I have this fungus on my chest, right between my pecs. I’ve now had it for more than 10 years. Seems like I should be able to get rid of it. But every six months or so, it flares back up. It’s just this red, splotchy thing that comes out of no where and thrives due to*— of all things*— water. I put the designated medicine on it and it goes away. And for months after it disappears, I keep applying it. But it lies dormant until I stop applying the medicine then it comes back out of its hiding. I believe that this is the ultimate plan of the drug companies. They are not out to create cures. They’re out to create treatments. Gilead Sciences, who make Truvada, must be shown that it would benefit from a lot more men taking the short-term Plan T than waiting for men to go onto the long-term HIV-Positive treatment with Truvada or one of the other cocktail options. Once Gilead crunches those numbers and sees the cost analysis benefit,I think they’ll start pushing for over-the-counter dispensing of Plan T as an option. But if the cost analysis doesn’t go Plan T’s way, Gilead will oppose it. [h=2]Worth a Shot[/h]I still think it’s worth a shot. It’s time barebacking had an issue that wasn’t just about sexual freedom. And this one may be it. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Barebackers love to count our loads. How many we take or give anally. How many we give or take orally. It’s a matter of pride. A way of maintaining a personal best, improving ourselves, a matter of pride. I think 2013 should see something a little different. I think we should all compete against each other just a little bit. Of course, with self reporting, we could fudge the numbers. But I’m hoping we can prevent some of that. What do you guys think about that? (There’s a survey**below to get your feedback.) In the meantime, I just asked the question on Twitter and here’s the responses I got… [h=2]Survey[/h]Please answer the following two questions. The survey will end on March 11, 2013 at midnight. Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. * * * * ** * * *** * * * *Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.* * * * ** * * *** * * * * Check back frequently for results. [h=2]Following the cumdumps[/h]You want to follow the cum sluts who let me know they’re loving the loads? Just click on the following: *@RAWnREADY *@BBadBBoyAnthony *@JorgePink *@WonkyShaun *@DNA_Inside *@BottomBB *@Peter94vers And, of course, you can always follow me @iBLASTinside*. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... I’m pretty new to getting fucked. I was only fucked once successfully by a guy I was blowing for like a half an hour, slowly edging him. I was really drunk, so I was relaxed I guess. He was like 7 inches and pretty thin cock. When he went behind me i didn’t even really think he was gonna fuck me and it didn’t hurt bad going in. I did feel it when he was pounding me though. He used lube. Since then I’ve had three guys try it: Two with no lube and today, a guy had lube (but I’m not sure he used enough).*They*were all smaller than the first guy. All of them it hurt so bad when they were putting it in, I just ended up blowing them. So yes… I’m a bad bottom right now, but I don’t want to be. I loved the feeling of the one man dominating my asshole and kind of feeling like he was up there for a few days after. I identify as a bottom, because I am a submissive and want to please the man with the cock. Is there anything i can do to kind of soften the blow of the first thrust in? It seems to be I hear that after I do it a few times that it will be easier. I really don’t want to do poppers or anything. I was thinking maybe if I got a dildo it would stretch out some. I see a lot of people saying go slow at first, which makes sense. But it seems to me maybe I should have them do the first push in —*like a few inches —*to get past my sphincters. Then hold it there until I adjusted so it would just be one moment of intense pain. Then i could deal with the fucking pain, which seemed okay. I know it’s my fault for either being too nervous and not accepting it or not being prepared. Also, I’m not really sure what a portable douche is. I want to be as clean as possible. Is there some kind of thing you just fill up with water and squirt it up your butt? And how long before you fuck do you do it? I hope your answer isn’t suck it up and just take it, but that might be the only one. It just really really hurts. I want to be a good bottom and to please my guys when they want me to turn around. I figured you had experience with this so i would ask you. I know it’s a lot of questions. Thank you for your time. —A Bottom in Pain Dear Bottom in Pain, Suck it up. That is the easy answer, but it’s not the right answer for you*— obviously. I don’t like seeing bottoms going unbred, especially when they’re begging for it. Let’s step through a few options. *I’m not sure why you’re refusing the assistance of poppers*. I hear this sometimes with people and it baffles me. Poppers can be legally obtained pretty much everywhere and their effects are rather temporary. You will find that the most intense sensations occur within 30 seconds of snorting them and by five minutes later, no residual effects will remain. Perhaps you are one of the small percentage of people with low blood pressure, which makes using poppers dangerous because you might pass out.* *Prior to having sex (by at least 30 minutes), please take pain medication. If it’s*ibuprofen or*acetaminophen (I believe four of each, which is double the recommended amount, makes for “prescription strength) is a good option. If you happen to have prescription pain medication or muscle relaxers, consider those as well.**You should consider this also if poppers**cause you headaches instead of avoiding poppers all together (and better quality poppers won’t cause headaches usually). *Buy a dildo or vibrator of normal size and work your ass every night. I don’t mean every other night or when you’re horny. I mean every, single night. With this exercise, I recommend you do some deep breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and relaxation techniques (just search YouTube for “5-minute relaxation” if you need help). When the speaker talks about relaxing the body, you focus on your asshole and relax it. Accept the dildo. Use the poppers a couple of times. Just close your eyes and make it happen. It won’t be easy at first, but eventually*— probably by the third week*— you will be able to take the dildo in your ass during the five minute exercise. *Once you can take the dildo in five minutes (all the way in), begin fucking yourself with it. Explore your insides. Find the spots that feel good and the ones that don’t. Yes, at first, you feel like you need to shit. That’s normal. But you will get past that. For the next month, you just need to explore. *Now these two months could be a little messy unless you douche (we’ll talk portable douche in a moment). I recommend the anal bulb douche as your first option (you can see it to the right). The most prevalent thing to notice about this is its very thin spout. You want one like this to clean your ass. In the shower and prior to play, do a few squirts into your ass, hold and then release. If you can get two or three bulbs full into your ass before release, even better. This is also teaching your ass muscle control. By the way, use a*sensitive, hypoallergenic liquid soap as lubricant and make sure the water isn’t too hot that you squirt inside. *Throughout this process, you should be paying attention to your body and noticing your body’s schedule. When do you normally take a shit? You need to notice when you eat and how long it takes to process that meal. A good bottom knows his body and its normal rhythms. I know bottoms who will stick to protein shakes or juice a couple of days prior to big gang bangs to avoid passing solids. Learning how your body processes and passes wastes is important to being clean and providing a top the optimum experience. For me, if I get shitdick , the bottom is licking it clean. *When you are with a top, begin with one who will let you sit on his cock first. I personally love this position to begin with anyway. It warms me up after good sucking. Using lube is important but not vital. It’s more about the bottom relaxing and opening up. Sounds like to me you’ve got a case of stage-fright. If you’re in control*— which is the top position, where you sit on the cock*— you control the pace. And here’s where you have some fun. If it hurts, ease off it. Tell the top he’s got a nice big cock. Let your ass relax a bit. Then ease back onto it. The second time in won’t be as bad. And you might even need to come off again before burying the bone. *Once you adjust to the sensation, switch to a position where the top has more control. If it gets to hurting, start begging the top to cum. Hurting too much, switch off and suck a little. Change position. Don’t say it’s hurting too much. And never let it end in a blowjob. Just give your ass a rest but remember your relaxation techniques to allow you to take his cock. *Eventually, you’re going to want to get a permanent shower shot douche for your home. This is an attachment for your shower. Every good bottom has one and swears by it. Knowing your body’s rhythm and cleaning out daily is not unusual for every bottom. I know bottoms who can be ready is less than five minutes, no matter where they happen to be located. *As for a portable douche, nothing really handy exists, but my favorite improvised device is one I saw a bottom carry with him. Technically, you can find it in the cake decorating section of your grocery store (or you might need to go to a more crafty kind of place). The squeeze bottle*accordion can be compressed into a smaller format for carrying so it’s about an inch tall. At your destination, you can use water from the sink to squirt into your ass. As a suggestion, leave the water running when expelling from your ass so your top doesn’t hear that. He doesn’t want to think you were just dirty. *Might I also suggest carrying one of these is good for any bottom who wishes to get the cum out of his ass as soon as possible. Look, I prefer a bottom keep my DNA inside him. But bottoms like to lie. I know that. Using this, one can rinse out an ass if there’s some level of fear of a possible disease transmission. Leaving the cum and other juices inside just causes it to fester. There’s debate whether a*spermicide*will kill HIV or cause it to thrive. I’d err on the side of killing it since you’re rinsing it out. Again, leave the water running or, better yet, take a shower after the fun. I hope this answers all your questions. Yours in DNA, Mark* aka iBLASTinside * * * * ** * * *** * * * * Do you have a question you’d like Mark Bentson (aka iBLASTinside) to answer? Send a message to iBLASTinside@gmail.com *or hit him up on his contact page*. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Every Friday (for a while), I’ll be featuring some “fuck” photos for fun. It will spice things up a little and make it more entertaining, I think. Enjoy. This week, Jarod gets two cocks and two loads in his tight twink hole through an anonymous gloryhole experience thanks to TIMFuck.com. See you next Friday! More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Let’s be honest that there’s plenty of flakes and fakes out there. The Manti Te’o case**brought a lot more attention to the plight and scourge of catfish**and it’s been a theme on this website*. I tend to expose the assholes stupid enough to use photos of convicts , porn stars**or others. This one is different. In late September 2012, I began communicating with a person who wanted me to stop by his house and breed his ass. We began via e-mail. On the particular day, the person had a particular window of time, wanting to arrive home. As it turned out, it would be after I would drive past where his house happened to be on my journey home. Through the course of our correspondence, in which we traded photos and eventually phone numbers to text, we would finally settle on one afternoon where the timing worked out. He gave me his address again (so I’ve received his address both via e-mail and text). I drive to the location. It’s October 8, 2012. The sun is dipping behind the fall leaves and there’s a coolness to the air. Pumpkins already sit out on the portico of this lovely brick home in an upscale neighborhood far outside the Perimeter (Atlanta’s interstate loop around the city). I’ve diverted my normal route home in order to hit a few extra red lights and visit this man’s home. It doesn’t look like he’s gay. It appears he might be married with kids. This home is too large for a single man and this community just doesn’t have a signature of young couples. The house has to be five or six bedrooms at least. I’m awaiting a text from him to say come inside, the front door is unlocked. He’s had me waiting in my car, in the driveway for way too long. I already know something is a little up. I’m scanning the windows, which all have wooden blinds shut tight. Likely, he’d checked me here, but I never saw one move. I walk to the door like I belong here and push the doorknob to open it. It’s locked. I text and knock. He says he forgot to unlock the door. He’ll be down in a minute to unlock it. Of course, that never happens. Then, in the next few minutes, he gives me a brand new ZIP code. Says I got it all wrong. Now remember that I’ve received his address twice. I check it both places and he’s clearly given the ZIP code to this place correctly. As it turns out, there is another street with the same name but it’s several miles away in another suburb. For example, there’s Holly Bank Court in Norcross and Holly Bank Circle in Atlanta. I’m not stupid. I’m not criss-crossing Atlanta. [h=2]That Brings Us to Today[/h]These kinds of wild goose chases happen. I usually can weed out the fakes, but this guy was in for the long con. In a way, I’ve got to give him some respect for the play, keeping me on the hook and playing me for a few weeks until he was able to reel me in. I wonder how many men in Atlanta followed through on this process only to end up visiting two addresses and getting no response or meeting some folks who never expected these strange men to show up on their doorstep. Not cool. As is normal for me, I’m hanging on BarebackRT.com**this morning and I get a message from BtmCatcherATL*. In the course of going back and forth, he wants a load and, based on what I see, it doesn’t look bad. Now I see a lot of ass. Visually, I don’t catalog every ass photo I see. BtmCatcherATL**is only 13 miles from my house and, in the scheme of things for Atlanta and my normal travels to get some, that’s not bad. I ask for his location. It’s the address of his house that I recognize. A nice cul de sac in an upscale neighborhood halfway between my home and my former place of employment. I search my e-mail and there it is too. And then I check out the photos, which some are the same. First, I do a screen capture of his profile (turns out to be a good thing). Then, I e-mail BtmCatcherATL**letting him know I’ve visited his home before. At first, he denies we’d ever chatted and that people had sent people to his home. Then I send him his e-mail address. FYI, if you ever have an e-mail conversation with*clemsonscott1993@gmail.com, don’t trust it. He’s another catfish and the same as*BtmCatcherATL*. He blocks me. Busted. [h=2]PostScript[/h]I do have his face photo (which you can sort of see but I purposely didn’t highlight in the profile above). I have a huge version from the e-mail exchange. However, I’m not convinced it’s the person who’s sending the e-mails. As for ass photos, I don’t know and they’re not identifiable. I just want my top friends in Atlanta to beware of this man. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] barebacking on tumblr (1) gay adult male bareback poppers daddys videos (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Gay Porn Star Donny Wright (aka*Nicholas Gonzales) returned to social media yesterday (Feb. 27) with an Instagram post and a few retweets. Looks like he was well fed in jail. Want to know what happened to Donny? Check out this previous post*. Donny doesn’t mentioned it anywhere. Looks like he’s ocean side, but not in the blue waters of a San Diego coast. More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... HIV is a stigma. Don’t ask me. Ask someone who has it. Ask anyone who’s bold enough to actually put on their Grindr, Manhunt or Scruff profile that their Poz and see what happens. Here’s an example I used earlier of a friend of mine on Grindr who was messages for his profile which honestly revealed he’s Poz*. It’s bullshit. Lately, I’ve gotten a couple of questions from readers who had issues involving Poz men, one making me think of this particular bias. I thought both were particularly telling and deserved to be told. Forgive me for sharing because I didn’t exactly ask these gentlemen’s permission, but I think I’ve averted anything devastating and I’m obscuring their identities. [h=2]Truth Inside the Truth: Who Should Fuck Me, Poz or*Undetectable?[/h]I had only ever barebacked with boyfriends….*But I’m feeling that total slutty sex itch from deep within my hole and I kind of want to try bareback with a total stranger. Let’s face it: it was fucking hot, man! So, I joined BarebackRT.com . The first couple of days the only hits I got were from guys in the country and a couple of men in my home state, but several hundred miles away. Today, I got hit up by two VERY hung tops, both within five miles of my home. One top says, “Undetectable.” The other says, “Positive.” I really want to give it up again and*I really want it to be*raw, but* their status just scares me. I almost hope I had never even looked at their status. I don’t know. I wonder if I would have even cared had I not known. Which leads me to question whether or not I’m ready… A big part of me says, “Fuck it! Let’s do it!” But the other me says, “No.” Advice? You need to ease into this world you’re exploring. So much of what you’re been conditioned is that HIV Poz is bad and you’ll die if you get it. No matter how much you logically know that’s not true, you still have this embedded conditioning*— and almost*Pavlovian response*— that creates and illogical fear of bareback sex. It just isn’t true. So let’s just break through this with a little more logic. Men who are undetectable have technically at one point been exposed to HIV. However, their antiviral cocktails have been so effective that it’s resulted in repressing the virus so far down that a blood test cannot detect it. Basically, these guys are now neg again. HIV hasn’t disappeared from the body. However, the main route by which the the virus is transmitted lacks it. Your chances of getting infected by an undetectable man are more than likely less than a man who claims he’s neg. Here’s why: Neg men aren’t really that religious and consistent about having themselves checked for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Neg men really don’t have a doctor hovering over blood tests to check all their levels and call them when a six-month test is missed. HIV-neg men aren’t even notified or bothered about their next test by most gay doctors. And that’s the sexually active men who’ve bothered to tell their doctors they bareback. Fuck, mine doesn’t even know I go raw. He lectures me but just assumes I’m using condoms. You are so much safer with undetectable on a cocktail. There’s no guarantees. But just fuck it and go for it. You’ll be glad you did. Then in about six weeks, set up an appointment and keep it every three to six months. Eventually, the guilt fades and your fear response will die down and you’ll just remember the fun. [h=2]Truth When It Should Be a Lie: He Said, ‘Fuck Off, I Don’t Fuck Poz Bottoms!’[/h]I get on Scruff and meet this fucking hot thirtysomething. We get to chatting and, bonus of all bonuses, he takes cock raw and tells me it’s his policy for the top not to pull out. I assure him that iBLASTinside (and he doesn’t get it*— obviously, not a reader). He can’t wait for me to fuck him bit I’m sort of booked for the afternoon when he says he only gets fucked twice a year. “Twice a year?” I question. “You surely get fucked a lot more than that. You’re really hot.” Well, he explains the Poz thing turns men off. And he’s a bit of a stickler on being honest and up front. He refuses to use a condom so he gets told more often to “fuck off” rather than to “get fucked.” He doesn’t exactly ask a question, but it ends up I give him a bit of advice. (for advice)*As it turns out, you’ve recently tested “undetectable.” This means that if the traditional HIV tests were run at this time, the virus could not be found in your blood*— you’d appear essentially “negative” to people.* At one point, you appeared positive, but if you said, “In my most recent tests, I came out ‘negative,’ you technically would not be lying.” This is especially true since you will be acting as the bottom. I understand you have a conscious and you feel telling these random hook-ups*— and that’s what they are*— a random hook-up*— that you’re negative and you’ve actually tested positive at one point may be considered a lie. But the risk you present to these slutty barebackers is almost non-existent. Like I say above, it’s more risky for these guys to have sex with men who believe they’re neg but aren’t being tested all that often. It is their own bias that drives them to say, “No” to you when chances are, several of the supposed “neg” guys aren’t neg at all. You’re safer to fuck than any of them. Further, let’s look at it in another direction: Let’s say your grandfather on your mother’s side was black. You look white. But the guy has one of those racist profiles that say, “Not into black guys. Sorry. Just how I am.” Technically, dude, you are a little black. Now he messages you because you look white. You’re attracted to him. You pass as white. But the truth is, you are part black. Do you tell him you’re black? It’s not going to hurt him not to know. In fact, it might be a lot of fun. [h=2]What Do You Think?[/h]Now it’s your turn to chime in. I’ve got three questions based on my advice. I want to see what you all think about my responses: * * * * * *** * **Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.* * *** * *** * **Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.* * *** * *** * **Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.* * *** * *** * ** Check back again here for continued results as more people vote. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] gay slave wants to be forced to poz bareback (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... Welcome to a new review of poppers from*World-Aromas.com*. Over the next several weeks (as I fuck), I’ll be trying out different poppers from Europe and available for shipping worldwide from*World-Aromas.com*. [h=2]Nitro Extra[/h][h=4]RECOMMENDED FOR INTERMEDIATES OR ADVANCED USERS[/h]Sometimes words like”extra” and “strong” can lure one in. It did me. When I saw the Nitro Extra Strong Aroma, maybe I grew a little*nostalgic*for the old Looney Toons cartoons with the Road Runner and*Coyote. Americans of a certain age has to admit they see it too in the bottle design. I wanted a little pep in my step. With the first fuck, I didn’t get a pep in my step. I got some burn in my nose. A recent trend emerged among aroma makers and that’s upping the intensity of the burn. It’s not in the scent, per se. Think of it like salsa. It’s not adding flavor but just adding heat. Nitro does that. It adds heat to the fire, but there’s no extra burst of euphoria. In fact, the high remains below Amsterdam XXX*. That lower intensity gives Nitro an edge for intermediate users but the burn keeps it away from the beginners. Nitro still packs a punch and lacks the strong chemical scent one might expect. I remain impressed in that regard that the UK flavors keep some odors down to a minimum. But I just can’t be a fan of the burn. I’m sorry. For that reason, it loses and drops down to get a 3½. How do you like Nitro Extra poppers? Rate this popper by clicking the stars rating on this page! You can also comment below and post your own review.* [h=3]Pros[/h]Milder than many but still a good high without the chemical scent [h=3]Cons[/h]Can provide a burning sensation in the nostrils [h=3]Where to get[/h]iBLASTinside.com recommends you purchase*Nitro Extra*exclusively from*World-Aromas.com* [h=3]Return to main Guide to Poppers page*[/h] More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... If you’re like me, I’m curious as to what-the-fuck the latest arrested porn star looks like with his clothes off. I always do a search and get a sense of what he looks like as well as the “work” he’s done. Donny Wright, aka*Nicholas Gonzales, got arrested after getting drunk, smashing into a Louisville, KY, firehouse and starting to jerk off on fireman’s gear. Wright/Gonzales told police he did it, “Because he wanted to.” No one reported whether Wright/Gonzales shot his load. His crime first caught the attention of Gawker.com*, which noted the story in weird crimes. Soon Gawker updated with the connection to the porn world, which got other news outlets like The Huffington Post**interested. In fact, Donny Wright’s last tweet from DonnyWrightXXX**says he was in Kentucky on Feb. 15 (and the*alleged*incident happened over Feb. 16/17). If you’re curious, here’s a little more about Donny as a porn star: *This is a YouTube.com video *interview (it’s somewhat safe for work) with him from NextDoorStudios. *The Sword *put Donny Wright on their list of the Top 40 Most*Breathtakingly*Beautiful and Huge Cocks in Gay Porn (he’s number 29). *Donny Wright does condom porn for a variety of places including NextDoorStudios, Falcon Studios, Hot House, Jocks Studios and Randy Blue. but apparently is currently a Men.com “exclusive.” *Had or if Wright/Gonzales been able to complete the deed, I doubt he’s made much of a mess. Photo below as proof. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] gay steakth stiries (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... I’m on Scruff and 25-year-old cutie hits me up, basically begging me to fuck him. It’s rare for that to happen. I’m two decades his senior. Of course, some young ones do chase older men. Usually this much enthusiasm can be attributed to men who recognize me as the writer of this blog. But several minutes into the conversation and nothing about my blog has come up. After he’s hinting how much he wants his legs lifted into the air and he’s forwarded two photos of men fucking him*— both using condoms. I finally cross into the territory of truth. Even with the little “iBLASTinside” hint, the boy doesn’t connect the dots and, well, it’s a while before I point him to my blog.He’s one of hundreds. The “safer” hoards who suddenly give up their convictions once they’re away from peer pressure. [h=2]Half of Gay Men Admit to Barebacking; The Other Half Lie[/h] Recently, the gay press reported something like half of all gay men reported they barebacked.The half that said they didn’t? Most of them lied.I’ll even bet you that if the scientists conducted the study lined up the men with who fucked whom, they’d discover portions of men who had a sexual encounter and a portion would say they barebacked while the other half would say they were “safe.”This wall of deniability exists. I’ve even seen it (and written about it). It’s not something so bold as stealthing .I’ve had bottoms ask if I have condoms. I say yes. He comes over and ignores the condom. He just rides my cock. I don’t ask if I can cum inside. I just do. [h=2]Just Like the Right Wing &*Abstinence[/h] The AIDS and HIV education community have become just like religious conservatives are with sex education and their insistence that only one path exists: Abstinence. The right wing fails to face facts that teenagers will have sex and won’t promote birth control including the pill or condom use. Moreover, if a pregnancy happens to occur, one must carry that baby to term.But the more progressive want to teach the straight youth of America how to minimize the risk of disease transmission and possible*pregnancy.Condom Nazis haven’t gone progressive at all. They see just one option. Use a condom. They can’t even fathom people refusing to wear the horrible plastic thing that deflates a hardon.Look, let me make this perfectly clear.No matter how many public service messages put out that say, “Safe sex is hot sex,” may work on the brain, but it’s not working on the cock.People just don’t want to face the fact that barebacking is better than sex with a condom. As I compared it once, it’s like* standard-definition versus high-definition television*. [h=2]Reality Check[/h]Men will fuck without condoms. Face it. Stop being judgmental. You can block the #BBBH hashtag *on Twitter or defriend them on Facebook, thinking that it’s alienating them. But it’s not. Barebacking is a movement that’s growing. Again, half of all gay men admit to doing it and that means there’s more who do it. Bareback porn is growing faster than anything else out there. We have to face these facts. Now let’s find a way to stem the tide of disease transmission while still letting men bareback if they so choose. This is like handing out clean needles to drug users. It’s controversial. I get that. But I am not stopping my barebacking. And I am watching hundreds of thousands of men who won’t either. I’ve got some suggestions for over-the-counter products that should be developed and provided as an option to those who choose to bareback. [h=3]*Virus-Killing Lube[/h]Like a spermicidal lubricant, this would be a lube meant to be deadly to HIV and Herpes. If used as lube, it’s a means to help kill any free-floating viruses that come into contact with it. Of course, it’s got to be mild enough for the intestinal lining to handle it but strong enough to kill those little microscopic bugs. [h=3]*Virucidal Douche[/h]Before and after the fuck, the bottom should douche with this mild concoction. Especially in combination with the lube, the more killing of any HIV or Herpes hanging around in the cum. I have a bottom friend who normally carries around an*accordion*squeeze bottle (like seen here to the right) that he uses after he’s bred to flush out the cum. I know. There’s something romantic about the DNA staying inside the bottom. And I’ll admit that I like marking my territory. But I’m coming up with a solution here and this is reasonable. [h=3]*Clear or Latex Paint Assliner[/h]Transmission of HIV normally occurs through fissures in the lining of the intestinal walls. This idea may reduce the sensation of the bottom so it could be bad idea, but like the latex paint people spread on the body or the invisible bandages, the bottom would put this into their ass to create a protective layer to help prevent any issues with the anal*cavity. [h=3]*Plan B for HIV Available OTC[/h]Plan B refers to the “day after” pill for women who might have gotten pregnant the night before. Because of the controversy around abortion, many jurisdictions and politicians believe life begins at conception. Plan B provides for pregnancy*prevention*by inhibition of ovulation*. In order to get Plan B, a doctor must prescribe it and, in certain jurisdictions, certain women require parental permission. Likewise, it’s been found that taking antivirals following possible exposure to HIV will inhibit the transmission. Of course, one can go to one’s doctor and request a certain supply, which goes onto one’s insurance, which shows that the patient is participating in what insurance companies consider “high-risk behavior” and will potentially flag that patient from receiving insurance renewals and life insurance, among other benefits. Creating an over-the-counter option, easily obtained from the pharmacist at a reasonable cost helps long-term and concerns. [h=2]A Final Note for Bug-Chasers and Gift-Givers[/h]I am not denying the POZ community at all and those find eroticism*in HIV, just as those who find pregnant women sexy. Please. I’m not advocating or*condemning*bug-chasing**and/or gift-giving*. But what has been obvious to me for far too long just keeps slipping through the mental grasp of those on the other side of this issue. I fear a backlash is coming of gay right-wing hatred, like a Tea Party within our own progressive ranks that would make for radicalization and fractures well beyond what we want to see. This “no compromise” attitude that’s gridlocked the U.S. government concerns me. I’ve seen it in my own life as I approached GLBT legal groups with my firing for being gay only to be told that they were much too busy focusing on the marriage rights fight to worry about a man fired to being gay. It’s as if the gay rights movement worries more about eating wedding cake than putting food on the table. I don’t want this to happen to sexual politics. For those who wish to bareback but don’t wish to chase, here’s some options to protect themselves. It’s as simple as that. [h=4]What people are searching to find this page::[/h] gaygloryholevids tumblr (2) gay poz raw fuck escorts (1) Pnp gay party tumblr video (1) poz breed inside tumblr (1) tumblr gay gloryhole bb fuck (1) unexpected cumtumblr (1) More...

To see iBLASTinside's original blog post, click here... This entry isn’t sexy at all. You might want to skip it entirely. I scolded someone today about missing a post regarding the death of my Mother and, when I went back to find it, realized it wasn’t there myself. I apologize to that reader since several places throughout my blog, I do refer to my Mother’s death but the recount of it seems to be missing. I had debated writing about it when it happened in January of 2010. In fact, the gap of my posts seem almost invisible now looking back, covered up by Q&A posts that seemed popular at the time. Truth is, I probably did post something but along the way to this platform or in some cleaning frenzy, I deleted it as too overly sentimental or not sexy enough. Yet that incident has significant bearing on two things in my*reportour*of posts these days: My extraordinary dislike of smoking *and my intense*disdain*of catfish*. By the way, the photo included here is actually a real photo I told of me holding my Mother’s hand one long and painful night and texted it to the catfish. * * * * *** * * * *** * * * ** [h=2]A Second Hospital Visit[/h]My job at the time had me travel throughout December through March. I’d returned home in January after another string of visits and my uncle, who’d just left, suggested I go*immediately*to see my Mother, as she wasn’t feeling well. About six years earlier, I’d moved back to Georgia from Washington, D.C., to help care for my elderly parents. My father had passed in 2005, all of us by his side. But he was at home in hospice care. I’d been his primary caretaker during his final two weeks, administering the painkilling medicine that eased his discomfort and helped him ultimately make the transition as easily as possible. To be honest, his passing was almost one of a miracle, as we’d talked about a month before about his wishes at his funeral. As he breathed his last breath, all of the family around him, hugging him, crying and saying good-bye, the television began playing the one song he’d asked to be played at his funeral. Compared the the gentle but stoic nature of my Father was the truly steel magnolia*Machiavellian matriarch that was my Mother. I loved her dearly. But at 78 years old, she would ignore every doctor’s advice (and my orders) and do as she wished. From almost 42 years of smoking, her chronic obstructed pulmonary disorder made the most simple tasks brutal. Yet she would insist on housework, fixing dinner, driving herself places, and more, her little portable oxygen tank in tow. And I’d drive her all over the family gatherings, with her often upset when I deviated from the old routes to take quicker, new highways. I’d been travelling all over the country — three cities this last nine-day tour*— and I wanted to sleep and rest because the next week I would be off for two more cities. But instead, I dragged my fat ass over to see Mom. She’d been sleeping on the sofa across from the hospital bed I’d had in her home for the last six months but she refused to use because there wasn’t a lamp close enough to it. More petite and frail, her hands and arms dotted with bruising from whenever she’d bump up against anything, she insisted “something was wrong.” I struck a bargain with her: We’d go to the hospital but when she came home, she’d have to learn to do what I said. After all, I reminded her how she bossed around her Mother (my Grandmother) for 10 years before her passing. I told her she needed me let me get a little bossing in. Now that I look back, she agreed too quickly. It was the second time I took her to the hospital but the first time she would be admitted. [h=2]Nothing Out of the Ordinary[/h]Mother had bronchitis. When I moved home, I went to the doctors with both of my parents and spent time with their primary care and any specialist, learning as much as I could about their chronic conditions. I also learned what to expect when the time would come. For Mother, it would be a series of lung infections that would get steadily worse over time until essentially, she could not get enough oxygen and would suffocate. “The process is beginning,” I told myself. When I moved home, Mother’s lung capacity was at 23 percent of normal. Even though she’d quit smoking about five years before I came back to Georgia, her lungs would never heal. That’s one of the myths about smokers. If you quit, your lungs don’t get better. Actually, they continue to deteriorate*— just at a much slower pace. Each year, Mother would lose between 1 and 2 percent of capacity. She currently hovered around 17 percent. She began making a rebound quickly with the antibiotics and everything seemed fine. But one afternoon, she told me something was wrong. “What is it, Mom?” “I don’t know,” she said. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?” My Mother’s eyes contained sheer terror in them. I noticed the her oxygen saturation in her blood on the monitor suddenly dropping. I hit the nurse call button. In the next 30 minutes, we were in the Intensive Care Unit. The doctors wanted to*intubate*my Mother*— that is, put a tube into her lungs to breathe for her. And in her fear, my Mother consented. But I overruled her, pulling out my power of attorney. One of the healthcare directives she’s insisted upon in it was to never be intubated and the doctors agreed, saying if we did, she’d likely never be able to be taken off since her lungs would never be strong enough. She was put onto a machine that strapped an oxygen mask onto her face so tight, it made bruises all over her face. It would force her to breath. She cried through the night, hating that machine. I was there the whole time, holding her hand. She asked constantly for it to be taken off. But I asked her to bear with me just a little longer to see if it would help. But in 24 hours, her condition didn’t improve. My only companion other than some family and friends who would stop by was a words at the other end of texting. The person was comforting in so many ways. And I was at my most*vulnerable, here, next to my dying Mother, feeling the most alone in the world. The reassurance of his care and love for me seemingly helped. But later, I would discover it was all a lie. He didn’t exist. And I’ll be honest — what that person did, the betrayal just reaches so deep into places where I’m still scarred and hurting that I can’t even begin to explain or even discuss it. It’s actually easier to talk about my Mother. [h=2]Relief at Last[/h]With no improvement and really no hope, I spoke to all the doctors the next day to assure that switching to*palliative care would be the right choice. I wasn’t prepared for this decision so early. I’d expected to take Mother home and have a few more hospital visits before this event. But that wasn’t to be. I then spoke to my sister and my aunt to make sure they agreed. Turns out I was the late one to the decision, but I had to be there. It was time for me to talk to Mother. We turned that horrible machine off and took it away. My Mother was so relieved it wasn’t working on her now and she could breathe at whatever pace she wanted. I went and sat down, alone, next to her, put my hand in hers, feeling the warmth and the knotted knuckles from the arthritis. Her poor body was just so battered and bruised, but through it all I could see that beautiful woman who cared for me through all my years, kissed my boo-boos. She guided me kindly and occasionally spanked me. I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it, feeling that rough skin that still contained a softness. I brushed back her gray hair from her bruised forehead and looked into the dimming brown eyes. “Mother,” I said in a quiet tone, managing to keep it together. “Yes,” she said. “We had a choice and I want to know what you think,” I said. “I know you hate that machine but it’s your only hope of getting any better.” I paused, as I could see the recognition come across her face. “We can put you back on it and try to make you ask comfortable as possible,” I continued. “Or we can leave you off of it and you can go see Daddy.” A single tear streamed down my left cheek. She didn’t answer immediately. But she did finally speak. “I think I’d rather go see Daddy. I really miss him.” My Mother and Father were married 53 years before he passed away. Of course she missed him. I hugged her. [h=2]The Rebound[/h]Over the next few hours, Mom seemed to feel better than ever, visited with so many people. It’s one of those miraculous gifts we get before we die and we get to say goodbye. I have a precious video of her time with my nephew that just would tear anyone apart to watch. She laughed so much. I was so glad to see that. I hadn’t seen her with that much joy in so long. It was then I began to realize just how sick she’d been. And if on schedule, as the final people left and the last prayers were uttered, she slipped into a silent, fitful sleep. With all the paperwork signed, I had the nurses begin to add morphine and other calming drugs to make her sleep more restful. Just after midnight, she stopped breathing in this world. But she got a lung-full of air somewhere else. I screamed, not in pain, but at the top of my lungs, “She can finally breathe!” More...