fillerupmn

It was after 1 in the morning when I quietly slid in bed. I was wide awake laying near my partner but not facing him. I felt scared, dirty, used, and disgusted. A part of me also knew that I had taken the fucking of my life and that nobody had ever made me cum without touching myself! John, still asleep, rolled on his side and spooned me. I was awake for some time. John’s alarm was set to go off at 6:40 am during the work week, but he almost always was awake before that. I felt his fingers spreading spit on my hole. I was awake now. His morning erection soon followed and he slid into the ass that his ex had taken only hours earlier. “MMMMM! Your ass feels really hot this morning!” he exclaimed. I was thinking of Matt’s spunk smoothing the ride for John, but I still made a crack that wasn’t my ass always hot? It was perverse that a small part of me liked that John was fucking in my used hole—a hole that his ex had stolen from him, even if only for an evening. Mostly I felt guilty and scared but I gave myself to my partner the same as I always did. I got up to make John breakfast—guilty conscious perhaps. I ate just a bit of scrambled eggs and threw the plates and pan in the dishwasher and brushed my teeth before kissing John good bye so I could go back to sleep. “Have fun with Matt” he gibed and I groaned inside—what sort of “fun” might Matt want?

Matt was sliding in—it felt amazing! He was rock hard and truly well hung. As his torso was longer then mine, he was able to lick my ears and talk darkly to me. I was still trembling and leaking tears as well as precum. Matt told me how hot I was, how badly he wanted me and more. He sounded both sincere and in control. He finally reached bottom and I could feel his nuts against my skin. He kept murmuring words of encouragement and praise while letting me get used to him possessing me. I felt hyper aware—his breathing, his warm chest on my back, his hands on my nipples and his dick occasionally throbbing within me next to my now not quite so tight ring. His hands were now against the top of my shoulders and he pulled me back on my hands and knees. The tape was now showing Matt fucking another guy in basically the same position as we were. The camera was stationary and the sound was unclear. But the action filled the screen well and it was like I was a part of it. Matt had his hands tightly on my hips and he started to fuck me in earnest. He wasn’t wailing on me, but he had a great motion. With a little trial and error he found the perfect angle for the fuck—my legs spread but now touching his and the height of my ass allowing him totally penetration when he pushed in. My head sank to the bed as he groaned “this is perfect!” I had seen him breed a boy and as he picked up the pace, I knew what that boy had felt. I was still really scared! I begged him to put a rubber on, but he said he didn’t have any and he wouldn’t wear ‘a rain coat’ anyway. He did promise to pull out if I wanted him to. My requests for him to “just pull out now” were answered with more slick, hot words and slick hot fucking. I knew Matt had stamina from watching him fuck on screen. I now knew that he knew what he was doing by the way he made me feel all the things a bottom wants to feel: possessed, appreciated, and in my head space. Matt seemed so attuned to my every sound and variation in position. After awhile I was squeezing my ass in rhythm to his thrusts as I had been born to do. Guys say I was a natural bottom and Matt was taking full advantage of that. I am good for a long fuck, too and Matt settled into reaming me as he wanted. I don’t know if it was the pressure against my prostate or what but I was feeling something almost weird after maybe 15 minutes. My dick was beyond hard and I was not in anyway touching myself. Indeed, my hands were grabbing the sheets hard and I was withering. I was starting to “oh, oh, oh” like the boy did in the sling and Matt was now doing his staccato fucking. “Matt….Matt…oh, Matt” was my new refrain and he asked how I was doing. I told him to continue exactly like he was doing. It didn’t feel like bad porn lines when Matt said things like “you like that, don’t you” and “take that big dick”. I started to feel an intense pressure within me. I didn’t realize what was happening, but I was about to cum. All I knew is that I needed Matt to continue and I begged him to keep fucking me exactly like he was. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop….I think I’m…CUMMING! I wasn’t particularly loud but I was clamping down on Matt as hard as I could as I exploded. Matt’s hands were like steel on my hips and he shoved in as far as he could go and throbbed like crazy in perfect harmony to my ass having its own orgasm. I had never cum without touching myself and this was earth shattering to me. Matt hissed over and over “take it!” I took it all and then crumpled on my stomach bringing Matt with me—still within me and now, a part of me. Matt called my name softly and hushed my now flowing tears with gentle words. He also remained latched to my body and plugging my hole. I was too tired mentally and physically to talk about what he had done—what we had done. Even soft he was big enough to be my personal butt plug, but I had to get out of his room. I squeezed my ass to urge him out as I scooted forward just a bit. He softly moaned at the sensation but let me withdraw. I grabbed my clothes and hit the bathroom. I needed a shower and to push out his cum. Neither of us said a word as I left his room.

I was relaxed but now rock hard in my jock. Matt started talking about how he likes to film his exploits. The volume was fairly low, but I could hear the dialogue. Matt was demanding and forceful and the boy was submitting and calling him sir—as in “yes, sir!” John and I tended to play this same way and I wondered if that was how he used to play with Matt. “You like role play?” Matt asked bringing my focus back to the man straddling my legs. “Ummm…yes” I admitted. I couldn’t see Matt’s face, but I had this impression he was smirking. Matt started massaging my ass. I tensed up at first, but he wasn’t going for my hole so I relaxed. It wasn’t like he was going to do much with John in the other room, anyway! Matt had to get more oil as he was running out of his small bottle. When he got back on me I didn’t feel his robe against me—he said he was overheating from the work. He worked more oil on my ass cheeks as I watched him getting his boy in a sling on TV. He was really working my ass nice and his hands were sliding well into my crack. It felt great and I didn’t care. The action on the screen picked up as Matt lubed his boys ass and stuck his finger, then fingers, in and out. The boy was moaning and I was doing the same—although very softly. I wondered who was doing the filming because the next shot was super hot as mark pressed his bare dick against the hole. “Fuck!” I didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it was an honest reaction. Matt said “yeah, that is a hot shot.” My dick was throbbing in my jock and I was wondering how I was going to extract myself without my boner showing. Matt and I started to have a naughty conversation. He asked what I thought of his tape and I found myself in this weird state of being relaxed but dripping wet in my jock—I could feel my precum leaking. I honestly told Matt that his private porn was better than anything I had seen. He asked relative questions while continuing to massage my ass, fingers rubbing all over. I spilled the beans about his tape: I liked the role playing and that he was in charge and the boy was submitting. He simply stated that I like submitting. I murmured my agreement. Matt’s weight shifted slightly and one of his hands left my ass. I could feel him reaching for more oil, but none was applied to me for a moment. Then he was kneading my ass more aggressively and rubbing his slick fingers over my hole. I was frozen in place. “Matt” I started but he wasn’t hearing anything about stopping. “Just let me enjoy your body a bit” he asked…or was that a statement? “John’s in the other room” I pointed out. Matt almost snickered as he pointed out that John slept like a log and I knew that was true. Matt went on that this tape was making him really horny—and my sexy body underneath him especially. Funny, but I wasn’t watching the video anymore. His slick finger was sliding around my puckered hole. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want and I never kiss and tell” he promised. This was all well and good, but I wasn’t home alone, and I was negative while his status was not. I didn’t want to point that out, but I did say that I was in a committed relationship. Matt asked if I knew why he and John had broken up? I shook my head and he said John was fucking others behind his back. I didn’t know what to say. He went onto say this wasn’t really the issue. Matt said he was really good at reading men and that I had told him all he needed to know. He leaned forward and his rock hard dick went between my cheeks. Again I froze and he just slowly slid back and forth. He wasn’t fucking me, but I was scared and could feel a cold sweat forming on my chest and under my arms. I glanced at the video and could see a close up of Matt sliding in and out of the boy’s ass. “My boys love my big dick inside them” Matt declared. The way that bottom was groaning proved his point and that along with his nearness got my flagging dick hard again. Matt and I watched the fucking together, both of us breathing a bit harder. Matt wedged his knees between my legs trying to get them apart. I wasn’t going for that until he said “spread ‘em” and whacked my ass with his hand. I didn’t even think about it, I just did what he commanded. “Lift up” he said as he slid a pillow under my crotch. I started grinding against the pillow while Matt was grinding in my ass cheek. The fucking was getting more intense on the screen and I could hear Matt telling the boy that his ass was his and he was going to fill it with his cum. The boy’s “oh, oh, oh!” was getting louder and the smacking sound was becoming staccato. “Watch closely” Matt ordered. He was reaching under my arms to grab my nipples. I was focused on that and the video and didn’t pay much attention to the ceasing of Matt’s thrusting. Matt was pulling out of his boy’s ass and then a huge glob of cum sprayed right against that boy’s still open ass hole. Within another shot or two Matt rammed back inside telling the boy to take his fucking load! I was gasping at this not really noticing the head of Matt’s dick was knocking right at my back door! He squeezed my nipples really hard as he pushed then relaxed his grip. My ass tightened at the nipple’s being used hard then it relaxed slightly. Matt’s head slid in slightly with me gasping much louder. “Matt—NO!” I grunted. He whacked my ass hard with his hand and hissed “watch the video—focus on it!” His slick dick (had he oiled it earlier?) slid in a few inches right after he smacked my ass. Matt was pretty much holding still…his dick was definitely thicker than John’s and I felt stretched. I was trembling with fear and excitement. I needed to stop this NOW! Matt seemed to understand what I was feeling and he went back to my sensitive nipples and started lightly biting the nape of my neck. Damn! Both of those are major hot spots for me. He was just nudging back and forth a bit, but I was responding by opening up to him.

Needless to say, HIV was being transmitted in the late 80’s despite the push for safer sex. Poz guys and men with AIDS were actively looking to hook up and have unsafe sex because it felt better, and also because of the power rush of pozzing a neg guy. Gift giving and stealthing might not have been coined yet, but there it was. I learned this first hand in my own apartment. I was a 20 something horny gay male, in a more or less monogamous relationship (I had jacked off with a few others, but was VERY afraid of HIV.) My partner John was older than I, a top and we had good sex. John’s previous partner, Matt, was HIV+ and living in San Francisco. I had heard all about Matt: he was in his mid 30’s, had a bad childhood, usually a bottom but had a big dick, etc. Their relationship had not ended well, but they still talked on the phone. I had also heard of some of their exploits in the pre-AIDS era. It fucking turned me on! The fact that Matt lived in San Francisco and bottomed made his diagnosis unsurprising, although my partner was sorry for him. I had seen photos of Matt and had some fantasies about him. Matt was taking a road trip back see family and friends east of Minneapolis so he wanted to stop for a few days to visit. My partner wasn’t keen on it, but we had a spare bedroom and I said we should be hospitable. I also wanted to see what he was like in person. He arrived midweek in early June and we had dinner at home with beer and wine. Matt was thinner than I expected, but still rather hot in a swarthy way—trim beard and hair showing on his chest because he had a short sleeve polo shirt with the 3 buttons open. Matt and my partner reminisced about old times and talked about the “golden era” of San Francisco. Matt looked at me when he said there were still lots of hot sex going on. I was quite boned by the conversation. I wasn’t drinking, but Matt and John were. Not to excess, but I think the booze loosened their tongues. Hell—I didn’t mind—it fed into my sexual fantasies. Matt seemed to like me, and that stroked my ego as much as my libido. All three of us sat around chatting until near 11 and my partner said he was wiped and had to go to bed as he worked at 8 in the morning. My schedule was much more flexible as I managed the apartment building where we lived in so I said I’d be in a bit later. Matt and I sat on the couch in the living room and talked. He asked what I had heard about him from John. I demurred that I didn’t know too many details, although I had heard he had a big dick. I winked as I said that. Matt laughed and said that much was certain and asked if I wanted to see it with a wink of his own. I blushed and stammered and Matt said I looked cute like that. With that statement Matt got up for a bathroom break. He came back in a robe “to be more comfortable” he stated. He also had a videotape in hand that he wanted me to watch. I told him the spare bedroom was the TV room. “Maybe we could all watch the tape tomorrow” I suggested. “I hear you like a good massage” Matt changed the subject. I looked at him surprised and he laughed and said John had mentioned it and Matt said he used to do massage work professionally. “Why don’t you sit on the floor in front of me and let me work on your shoulders” When I said that wasn’t necessary he insisted—after all, we were showing him our hospitality and it was the least he could do to make me feel good. Damn did Matt have strong hands! I sighed and was quickly relaxed and putty in his hands. With his gentle urging, I removed my shit so he could work easier. Matt said it was a pity he hadn’t brought his portable massage bed as I had tension knots in my back. After working some more, he suggested I lie down on a towel in his bed so he could apply oil and give me a thorough rubdown. Again I said that wasn’t necessary but Matt said “for goodness sake, don’t be such a woosey!” He grabbed my hand and lifted me up and reached over to pick up his tape off the coffee table. I was feeling nervous as well as excited. Matt’s sinewy body really showed through the robe as I followed him. Matt also closed the bedroom door so he could play his tape and the VCR wouldn’t wake my partner. Those feelings now intensified! I sat on the edge of the bed while Matt slid the tape in and turned the TV on. He told me the tape was a special one starring none other than him. He knelt behind me and started massaging my shoulders while the tape got started. It started with a few minutes of some television drama. He then laid a large beach towel on the bed and told me to lie on it facing the TV so I could watch while getting massaged. He worked my back like a pro and the oil felt so good against my skin—I sighed and relaxed. Matt didn’t want to get oil on my jeans and he wanted to work my legs. I wasn’t keen on that idea as I just had a jock on (my usual undergarment as it turned John on). Matt talked me into it saying he wasn’t going to do anything improper. Mark started to oil my legs up as the tape morphed into a sex tape—and yes, it was starring the man in the robe who was on top of me! It was home porn (TWISTED) and it was hot! Matt was in leather and he was using a young man for his pleasure. That youngster seemed ever so happy to do as he was told. I was confused as well as hard—I asked Matt wasn’t he a bottom? He said bottoms can grow up into being the best tops! The tape seemed to support this notion.