NYCPissBear

Reference my screen name for the most obvious. As an extension of that, mansmells and pissed-on/in clothes. As an extension of that, underwear. (Men's only.) My interest in leather is partly about the leather, and partly because leather men in general tend to be more interested in other things I like (such as water sports). Mentor relationships, whether they be dad/son, teacher/student, coach/jock, clergyman/mendicant, camp counselor/camper etc. And on and on...

Sorry if this question has already been asked and answered, but a week or so ago, I began to notice that forum posts no longer appear to have dates on them. Wondering whether I'm not looking in the right place, or if they've really disappeared; and if so, whether they can be restored.

Fucked a guy one year at CLAW, a pump-and-dump in his room. Only found out afterwards that he had been castrated. If I had known ahead of time, I probably would have been too freaked to go through with it. He was a great fuck, though, and still masculine, with a beard (must have been taking shots). Even so, while I can understand some of the erotic implications for both the castrated and the master (easier in the context of master-slave than out of it), they don't do anything for me. If I wanted to fuck someone without a cock and balls, there are women everywhere...

I'm in my mid-50s, so things have calmed down a bit since my younger days. I rarely go more than 24 hours without at least jacking off, though, and on some days still manage three within a 24-hour period.

I had major surgery a couple of years ago, with a great deal of pain and discomfort during recovery, so I wound up going well over a month without being able to function sexually, including even jacking off. That first wank, which combined the pent-up energy with concern, even fear, that maybe it was still too early, ended up in an orgasm almost as intense as the first one I ever had, at the age of 11.

If you even have to ask the question, then you have some conscience, or at least a level of moral responsibility. This means that if you continue seeing him without telling the truth, the knowledge of your having lied and continued the deception, and fear of being found out, will eventually interfere with your enjoyment of the sex, leading to a slackening of interest on his part. (Maybe...sounds like in his "topness" he doesn't care whether you enjoy yourself...but he eventually would notice any hesitancy or lack of enthusaism.)

The next thing is that even though you lied, you can still salvage the situation (if there is anything to salvage) by telling him the truth before your next session. I think the suggestion about the "sudden" positive test results doesn't pass the smell test...he could sniff out that it was a contrivance. I would recommend telling him you lied because you were put on the spot and hadn't had time to think it through; but on reflection, since you do want to pursue some kind of continuing relationship, and out of respect, you have to be honest.

There is a downside to this - apart from the possibility he would simply cut off contact - it could give him grounds for legal action if you somehow managed to infect him. But since neither of you raised the queston of status when you had sex, he has some culpability. Others with more familiarity than I with legal issues might suggest this is not such a wise choice, so a lot has to do with your sense of how he would react, as well as the laws in your state/municipality.

Tough choices...but put yourself in his shoes, and try to imagine how you would feel if it happened to you.

Cheyenne Jackson, please.

I don't necessarily associate spit and spitting with degredation, though I know a lot of guys do (and many of those get off on that). For me, it's about the fact that it's a man's body fluid, like cum and piss. (Maybe my being a water sports devotee has something to do with my perspective.) No matter the intent of the man doing the spitting, I regard the act and the spit as sacred, and as intimate and romantic as sharing cum and piss. That's why it's also the best lube for fucking, as it eases the way for the other man juices to be deposited in a bottom butt. If I spit on a man, or a man spits on me, I take is as a compliment. (At least if we're having sex.)

Maybe that's also why I like the porn star who calls himself Spit...

I got Slammin' Perverts when it first came out, and for several years perv-ed to the idea those guys were shooting up. But once I learned that it is illegal to actually show guys shooting up (per RawTOP's post above), I re-watched the video. The scene is at the beginning of the video, and the initial injections are broken up by title cards exactly at the points (so to speak) where the needle would touch the skin. So literally, you never see the injections - just the set-ups and the reaction shots. It's reasonable to believe they actually did shoot up, given their reactions, and also the tell-tale blood spots (one gets licked up...nice touch). But technically, that scene, and the one about five minutes in when they take another hit, do not show actual injections.

There are certain bottoms in porn, like Caedan Chase, Ian Jay and Jerek in some T.I.M. films, who seem to "go into a zone" during heavy gangbang scenes. The camera lovingly pans their faces at certain key moments, and if you could only zoom in close enough, you'd probably find their pupils incredibly dilated. But again, it could be acting...

I probably got one of the first 1,000 copies of Fuck Holes 2....will have to check out all the mirror scenes now.

That might explain why, in the middle of a post I was making last night, the site suddenly went dead. Thankfully, I had had to foresight to copy the text, and when I came back a few minutes later, was able to paste it in just where I had been planning to put it.

Too bad about the cum.

After a long dry spell, two BB parties in two nights. First one, in D.C., fucked half a dozen guys, but somehow forgot to leave a load in any of them. Did manage to swallow two, however...had almost forgotten how good cum tastes and feels going down. Got one off by just by mauling his tits with my hands and mouth, and he gave me just enough notice he was cumming for me to squat down and swallow. Next one found me sitting on a trunk in a darkened closet; he couldn't see who was sucking him, but his cock and my mouth were a good match. Got him to shoot a huge load, kept his cock in my mouth for another two minutes nursing out late oozes. He complimented me on a "blue ribbon" blowjob. Next night, in Philadelphia, left my load down the gullet of one of the party co-hosts, a beautiful, sensual black bear of a man. Earlier that evening, he had bred another guy, and I slipped in on his cum and fucked it further in. But it wasn't until that top wrapped his mouth around my cock that my cum found its safe harbor Saturday night. Ah, men.

Just had a look at Lito's bbrt profile. He lists his status as negative.

Came in his ear? I hope you meant his rear...unless you mean he was bug-eared...

My first time, at the tender age of 24, was at a porno theatre in Times Square here in NYC. I had been a couple of times before, mainly doing research (watching the movies); it didn't occur to me until the second time that guys actually did something in the theatre. (One sat down next to me, and I started shaking so much that he eventually left without even trying.) By my third time, I was ready to touch someone, and I did...several times. I sucked one, and another sucked me. Fucking came several months later...

All these replies and no mention of any tops (apart from opening post). Well, a good bottom is essential (and those mentiioned above all have my vote, too). But let's hear it for some of the tops - in addition to the aforementioned Kevin and Ethan, how about: BJ Slater, Lito Cruz, Jesse O'Toole (and where, oh, where is he?), Brad McGuire, Dan Fisk, Jerry Stearns? And the versatiles, in addition to Alan Gregory, like Pat Jackson and Jake Wetmore?

I love giving and getting piss, and there isn't a single way of doing it that I dislike...so far (though there are a couple I haven't tried yet). Some of my favorites are swallowing it, getting it on my piss jockstraps (never washed exxcept in piss), and wearing it in my never-deodorized pits. Love to piss fuck a bottom, too, and hope to try it from the other end some day.

I have heard that the meaning depends on whether the claws are open or closed...but not what the difference is.

Gay is a label, a shorthand word to connote men who prefer sex with men. But because other things are also associated with the word, some guys are uncomfortable using it to describe themselves. Whether it's because they like sex with women, too, or just don't like being associated with people who use the term who have what they consider unattractive attributes, they feel it limits them instead of describes them.

Context is all. Other people bring their own contexts into it, and guys who don't like thinking of themselves as gay don't want to bother with other peoples' contexts. Sometimes those contexts include discrimination, rejection and violence.

I'm gay, but I'm much more than that, too. Mostly, I'm a man. (Well, I'm entirely a man, but even that doesn't entirely describe who and what I am.)

Are you a man? Are you a man who likes to fuck with other men? Good enough for me. (Just don't tell me you fuck women, too...I don't need to know that.)

I rarely get fucked, so I don't get cum in my ass very often. (But if he's in there, that's his prerogative.) When sucking cock, though, I'm always trying to get the guy to cum, and almost always if he does, I swallow it reflexively. Only if I've been instructed in advance to save it for other purposes (snowballing, or applying lube to another guy's butthole) do I remember not to swallow (and not always then). If a man is doing you the honor of permitting you to provide pleasure to his penis, you should dispose of his cum properly, depending on where he deposits it...swallow it, or absorb it.

Guys ask for money, too, and just because they've got what you want, it doesn't make it any less unsatisfactory. Maybe I'm spoiled, living in NYC, but if I walked into an ABS and found a female clerk up front, I'd just leave.

Not so much into scat play, but very into water sports. While I always had a curiousity about it, it was (like NastyRigPig) in a men's room that a man took advantage of having his cock in my mouth to relieve himself. Once the surprise was past, I shot without touching myself. And the rest is piss-story...

Seconding what bed10 says, some of the guys here are here for fantasy reasons, and their fantasy will dictate how they respond; while some here are very grounded in reality, and that will dictate how they respond. It is not always possible to tell the difference.

I think the responsible ones will likely say some variation of, each guy has to make his own decision based on his own reality. You have conflicting needs, and one does not necessarily carry less weight than the other.

So it's a balance sheet solution - list pros and cons, and weigh them carefully against each other. Does your need to give yourself to this man (and maybe his need to take possession of you) outweigh your need to exist as an HIV-negative man and father?

Like it or not, you have accountability, if not to society and your ex, then to your sons. But you also are accountable to yourself, and your needs are important, too.

No easy answers...and the ones that sound easy, aren't.

And one I left out...

Is it the man (or men) who established and run bareback websites, where we all congregate to cruise, hook up, and discuss this issue that is at the very center of our lives? Could it even be our very own rawTOP?

Recently, on a separate thread here devoted to him, someone posted: "Lito Cruz is a bareback hero."

Apart from singling out one of my favorite performers, this got me thinking. We all need heroes in life. There are always going to be men who inspire respect, awe, worship; who exert leadership in masculine endeavors. With all the societal pressures to muzzle our natural sex instinct and stifle the expression of our best selves through sex and exchange of body fluids, it takes a man to resist and walk the path of true bareback manhood.

So...who's your bareback hero?

Is it a porn star? A top, like Mr. Cruz, or Brad McGuire, or...[your favorite here]? Or a bottom, like Dawson, or Christian, or [your favorite here]? Or even a versatile, like Alan Gregory or Pat Jackson? Who in this realm exemplifies the fierce freedom of true masculine nature, expressed with cock and/or butthole and cum?

Is it a porn producer, like Paul Morris or Dick Wadd or [your favorite here], who provides positive examples of optimal male lust for us to emulate and improve upon, who by their work validate our very existence?

Is it the operator of your favorite sex venue? Maybe he has bareback porn playing on the video systems, so we all have that extra bit of stimulation to motivate us as we hunt and breed. Or he schedules regular bareback parties, to give us all a safe place to practice the true gay male religion, sacred worship of the God Cock and Holy Semen...

Is it the man (or men) who first fucked you raw? The guy who got you to fuck him raw for your first time? The family member who introduced you to your cock and your butthole with his own raw dick? The teacher, coach or clergyman who reached inside you, figuratively and literally, and helped you get in touch with your inner bareback pig?

Or is it you, yourself, a man who knows what a man is and what a man is for, and sets the example for everyone he meets (and meats) by steadfastly maintaining a "bareback only" policy?

Who is your bareback hero?

We've been conditioned a lot by porn soundtracks, and sometimes I wonder how much I hear during sex (especially in groups) is the result of the sound of porn having penetrated our sensibilities. But I'm very aurally oriented (trained as a musician), so am always acutely sensitive to sound in every activity...especially sex, during which other senses are heightened, too. Really good sex involves all five senses...including hearing.

I feed on the energy of other guys in group sex, and so just sort of assume others do, too. So I make sure I'm making some sort of sound quite often - whether it's talk (to my bottom, or to another guy fucking), encouraging him (them); slapping asses or chests (and you can hold your hand just so to maximize the sound of it); or cue-ing my bottom (and anyone else in earshot) that I'm about to cum...plus the sounds I make while cumming.

Once or twice, I've been asked to shut up...which just goes to show there are other, more judgmental senses that come into play as well, such as gauging the reception of one's behavior.