pnpindian

I am sorry that you are encountering such a formidable block. And for so many years. It must be deeply frustrating when fucks do not understand how powerful such blocks can be. I know when I became a part of the poz brotherhood - in 2011 - I too encountered this block - I could not fuck ... I would lose my erection or more importantly lose my mojo to pound and breed the hungry mancunt before me. it was a complete mindfuck (I was sober) where I would suddenly be plagued with the most random yet persistent thought of remorse or guilt and I would lose my boner / interest in the fuck completely. I found it odd as I was pozzed when I was the top, I thought I would have qualms about being a btm taking raw cock and loads but no... becoming poz actually made me relish my skills as a insatiable btm for raw cocks and cum loads bred deep in me. I embraced that side of me wholeheartedly. But when asked to top... Fuck I was completely inert - it used to gnaw at me because I wanted to be both a solid top and great btm but my head and my dick were not seeing eye to eye. I tried everything... Chemsex - dick supplements - hypnosis - change in dynamic / sexual scenario - it did not work. Though for a while chemsex was the answer for the given moment - the right combo would release me from the debilitating self doubt, of seeing myself for the failure I was as a top. Chem changed my points of focus, where, sober, I would ruminate over those thoughts, the chem gave me that superficial gloss / sense of bravado and ease that kept me focused on giving that bottom begging for my thick juicy cock, a solid deep intense fucking and breeding. Of course that route never bodes well for the long term and true enough.. my chem combos began to lose potency with each encounter that demanded I top ... and soon I was back to facing the same formidable block soberly while high on chem. It is something that is deeply rooted in the dark labyrinth of our deeper thoughts... Hidden away and forgotten most of the time, yet easily summoned onto us when facing the challenge head on. The moment of reckoning when we want to pound that hole in front of us Holding our deflating cocks when a moment before we were hard throbbing and pre cumming like crazy... Now we are dejected defeated shells who has not lived up to his side of the sexual bargain. heavy stuff to process so we most probably remain completely oblivious to the sheer strength of our block - how easily it halts something that should come completely naturally and copiously - our virility. I knew I had to process this darkness that was fueling the block and become aware of that debilitating energy exchange This is where we must process that darkness within - understand it a little more each time we encounter it and attempt to find any means possible to live with