by the time I was 17 I knew that I would never be able to please females or males. I will never forget the humiliation of my first time with a female at 16, we were both virgins and after the obligatory 6 months of dating we went all the way. She was very kind, but of course my 4.25 inch penis slipped right inside her moist pussy. About half way through she whispered "I don't think it's in". Buried as deep as I could go, I knew my inexperienced lover would never be pleased. Then the awkward times afterwards (we had prepared sheets for the blood) and nothing but a wet spot of my cum that had leaked out of her. So I went into her parents bathroom and got a hair brush, parted her legs and inserted it, gently and smoothly entering in and out as she played with her clit. After possibly 30 seconds of gentle stroking blood engulfed the hair brush in a cum and blood mixture. I finished her to orgasm knowing that a small hairbrush had provided my young lover with more pleasure than I ever could. She was sweet and kind but I lost all interest in women sexually after that knowing that I couldn't please them.
My next experience was @ 18 at an adult bookstore. The other guy put his ass to the big opening in the wall.. I slid into him easy and within 30 seconds busted my nut. As I went to pull up my pants he turned with his face into the hole and said "don't tease me bro.. Fuck my ass". He had no idea I already had.
So I took a different path. I grew into a masculine man of 6"3 225lbs. I take good care of myself. Being a bottom bitch is a full time job to me. I keep myself in shape, tanned, shaved, to look my best for my tops. I arrange my diet, my bowel movements and my enemas into daily practice so that I can be the best bottom I can be. I can and do normally fully orgasm without an erection, or penile stimulation while being fucked. I have come to feel like I am gentically blessed. I have a very tight nutsack with very small balls and my cock hides like a scared turtle during play only exposing with I would consider a large clit. I only refer to my sexual organs as a clit, and my hole as a cunt. Perhaps because of my physical size I have never ran into a top with less than 5 but I have enjoyed being fucked by many a man from the 5 to 6.5 range and enjoyed each of them. I come to terms with the fact that I am not a sexually alpha male a long time ago. Quite simply it's my job to bring them pleasure in what ever way they choose to utilize my body or orfices. To me there is nothing more sexually fulfilling than a straight married craigslist man that isn't getting laid at home and is only average in looks and size limiting his options with a heterosexual affair. Rarely do they actually touch my clit, they are far more likely in my experience to suck a fully enveloped nipple. The pride in their faces when they see my clit shoot cum as they fuck me, and feel my ass muscles tighten around their cocks as I orgasm. Of course everyone likes something different. That's why I always have a bottle of poppers in viewable distance, if they ask me to take a hit they are usually an experienced fucker that wants a nice wet open hole, if they don't I assume they want me tight and I remain totally focused on messaging their cocks with my cunt muscles.
When I have been in bathhouses I always keep myself totally exposed. Given my physical size I think it's imparitive because one could easily assume I'm a top. I do the same at public beaches of parks. I leave nothing to the imagination that I could be the top they are looking for.
I have enjoyed hundreds of tops over the last 20 years and only a handful were bad experiences (usually caused by an over zealous top trying to fist my cunt that has no desire to be fisted, or incredible long nails). I never converted poz and was never worried about it, possibly the luckiest dude in Houston. So two years ago I went on prep mostly because I really really enjoy being with married men and despite their poor choices I don't want to punish their wife and kids... There is no feeling greater than a married man impregnating my cunt and the way they behave after they have butted deep inside my pussy. If I don't orgasm through anal sex I never ever sexually stimulate myself in front of a top. My role is exclusively to please him. It's that simple. If he plays with my clit or sucks it, it still remains flaccid and hidden. Sure it feels good, but they usually move on after a couple of minutes and if they don't I will orgasm that way right into there mouth even though I am still flaccid. I assume that's what they wanted if they won't leave it alone but unless there is very ruff nipple play I have never gotten an erection. When it has happened there is shame that overcomes me like a kid bringing home an "f" in PE lol.
I'm not impotent but as a good bottom I know my restrictions. I go to the gym to work out, not for sex. Testosterone is flowing like crazy after a daily workout. I use the private showers and stroke my hard clit to orgasm. On the rare occasion it has become a cruise situation I still do the same. A 4.25 inch hard clit is attractive to no one and only a distraction to an alpha male. I am bata male simple as that, born and bread to please other men.
I have only been in one monogamous relationship and it lasted about 8 months. He never saw my clit hard. I got up at 4:30 every morning and had a bowel movement and enema knowing he would be up at 5:30. If he wanted or needed to be pleasured it was my role to do so.
Bottom line is, to be a good bottom is a bunch of damn work but worth it in the end (pun intended).
I guess my point is that I find conflict with the size matters post. If you are over 5.5 and you feel alpha my hole is willing and ready to make you feel good. It's not my job to criticize something you can't control. I have one job--- to bring a warm clean fertile cunt to you when needed.
