claireannet

I am also picky.....I pick that one and that one and that one.   Then I pick that one and that one and that one.  

Actually I have really worked to promote the idea that it is just sex......don't be so picky and enjoy more of that skin on skin sex we all seem to enjoy.   

At one time I traveled  great deal (internationally) for my work.  I was very picky about food at that time of my life.   I soon learned that I needed to be more open to new foods or I would go hungry.   I ended up learning to love so many different cuisines/styles that it really added to my life.

I would encourage you all to be less picky and just enjoy the sex.  You may just learn that the picky methods of selecting partners really prevented you from experience sex in ways and with men that are even more exciting.

I too have been surprised at the anti-PrEP comments.  While I chose to chase (and convert) it was just that MY CHOICE.   And, it is a quite serious decision---literally a lifetime of consequences.   The decision to use the drug is no different than the decision to go raw without out latex or chemical protection....an individual choice.   With a site like this, it would be nice if we were all supportive of each other...regardless of the decisions we make.   Few other places allow the open discussions we have, allow the open disclosure of our sexual extremes and allow the sharing of the "real" experiences of raw sex, enhancements and hiv+ fetish.   Lets embrace that freedom and allow each other guy to find their place in our more fringe universe of sex.

I still have so many great memories of my sexual awakening.  Still several years prior to getting my driver's license, I was "recruited" and eventually tutored by a wonderful man about 25 years older than I was.   I was in that "phase" of trying to figure out why my own thoughts and feelings about sex seemed to be at odds with all my friends.  This man helped me sort out my thoughts and accept my homosexuality.   But more than that, he helped me develop as a sexually confident bottom.  The skills and attitude he helped me develop have allowed me to live a very happy and very out and very very queer life.

I suppose in the growing politically correct/nanny state we seem to live in I was molested, probably raped, certainly sexually abused.

I consider it the finest thing another person (other than a relative) has ever done for me.   

When my younger brother came to me with questions (at about the same age as when I was recruited) I tried to do for him what was done for me.

In this day and age, I am guessing few men would take the risk to help someone successfully develop as a queer.  Perhaps all the internet and porn and hook up sites have made that adjustment easier for guys.  But, when you read some posts you see that many young guys really have no clue about being queer other than liking M4M sex.   And, as a society we must protect those who are unable to protect themselves.   But, elders mentoring the more junior guys still has some validity.   

I most likely got my tranny ass knocked up by a BBC.  A very high percentage of the men I was with while chasing were black.  While I do not know for sure......I really think that I do know the night I got POZZED.   I was fully femmed up and he was the first guy to "prep" my ass with a brush and we shared a point a couple times as well.   A couple weeks later---fuck flu.   I am glad the dude in the story got converted.   Being a POZ tranny is my dream cum true.

And as a tip for all the "wanna-be" chasers out there.....do some research on HIV infection demographics.   If you are going hunting...go where the game is.   

First of all....if you are converting.....I hope your experience is what you hoped for.   My own conversion symptoms lasted about 15 days---from the first night sweat until I was largely symptom free.   A number of days were pretty bad, but not debilitating to the point of preventing work or other life's obligations.  And, other than a couple days, I remained sexually active the entire time.   At about day 5 I did go to a doc and that is when I tested POZ (not a surprise).

As you mentioned, everyone's experience is somewhat different.  But you should be nearing the point when you can test and be certain.   

Everyone's experience is a somewhat custom event.  My own fuck flu was very much noticeable and lasted about 15 days from first night sweat until I was clear of the symptoms.  About half way through that, I tested POZ (was NOT a surprise).  But, I know some guys who had only a day or two, some guys who felt nothing and a couple who claim to have been debilitated for most of a month.  But, kudos to your bud for knowing what he wanted and going after it.  

I spent years as a real condom NAZI.  I never let a dick near my hole without being wrapped.  But, about a year ago, a dude stealthed me.  Later, when I found out what he had done, I learned he was POZ as well.  Several months later I had become a dedicated bareback only guy.   Five weeks after that, I tested POZ myself.  

I tested POZ in late February of this year.   For most of my life I had been a real condom NAZI, but a stealther changed my view.   After I had that "risk event", being with POZ guys was all I could think about.  Started as an active (VERY ACTIVE) chaser some months later and converted within 5 weeks of that start.  No meds in the 5 months since my new status was confirmed.   

On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 6:16 PM, BottomKink said:

I don't think a sex-positive counselor could help me. She'd probably label me mentally deranged after I tell her how my problem started and what I did about it lol.

Some may suppose, based on my screen name, that I am fairly fem.   Although I do not talk about it much on this site,  I am actually in transition.   Both my doctor and my therapist have been huge help.  And despite your comment, their goal is to HELP not to label, blame or discourage.   Rather they are focused on assisting me with my mental and physical health as I make some significant changes.  Even as I ***** ******* (*** converted to POZ) they were helpful (although very straightforward in their thoughts and beliefs on that subject).

If you are serious, find a good supporter in the medical community.  I believe it is an important part of figuring out a complicated path.   

I guess I was surprised by my own thoughts here.   I believe that while I do have a preference, in practice I do not use my preference to screen potential partners.   

I am smooth---totally (other than head) and like the way I feel and look.  Further, I enjoy the feel of other smooth guys and I appreciated the effort it takes to maintain that attribute.

But I have been with many hairy guys---and never can remember it being "BAD" for any reason.  In fact, one guy during my **** joked about using hedge clippers and a yard rake for his body grooming....and that wolf-man dropped a nice load as well as any smooth guy.

Of the four guys I have had longer term relationships with over the years, two were smooth (one taught me how to groom fully, quickly) one was fairly "normal" hair, little grooming and one was hairy as fuck.   Other than with the guy who taught me so many tips of the smooth trade, I do not recall even much conversation about hair.

As a reformed condom nazi, I had little chance to experience anything close to any type of STD.   I did have oral Gono 20 years ago, and that was nothing to clap about.  I got rid of it quickly and avoided any sex until I was super sure it was gone.   

Fast forward 20 years and I went raw and was quickly infected with HIV.   Time from date of decision to go raw and my POZ test was about 6 weeks.   During my ***** and since, most of my partners have been POZ, so perhaps they are sharing other things that I am unaware of.   Not specifically ****** other bugs, but understand they are a bit of the package of being a raw poz guy.

No doubt, time plays with our memories.  But, I have NO memory of having GONO other than the fear and the doctor visit to rid myself of that disease.   I also know that HIV will be a part of the rest of my life, but the thoughts of ****, ****  and living as a POZ guy are vivid and I am sure will stay with me.

I have run into several.   One was a guy who worked for me at the time (last fall).  I did not mention anything to him since he was an employee and I did not want him to think I was trying to trade favors for anything work related.  Kind of sad, since he was hotter than hell.

I also found one profile from a guy I had met and dated for a while "off line".  I was in full "condom mood" when we were together, so the sex was good....but safe.  His profile said "poz not on meds".   I reached out to him and told him of my recent status change.....great laugh over "wishing we had known then".   Anyhow, we got together and I experienced him as a RAW, ** partner over the weekend.....quality of fuck had gone up a huge amount since our wrapped encounters a couple years back.

I have also run into some folks I know when in more public places....(bookstore, Cumunion, nude campground).  Sometimes, there seems to be an agreement that we ignore each other and never speak of it, and sometimes it can be a lot more fun!

My load count is growing again.   An amazing weekend and good start to this week means that I have added 15 loads to total out at 103 for the year.  I have not counted blow jobs (and there have been plenty).  And, I do not count UD or known NEG.  I started chasing on New Years of this year---so it started out only being the loads that could help with my case.   I was knocked up quickly (tested POZ in late February).....but have kept looking for and taking those delicious POZ loads.  

I did not fuck for a good part of March.  The combo of not feeling great (minor fuck flu symptoms) and some up and down thoughts regarding the consequences of my chasing kept me out of action.   But last weekend, most of that was past and I started looking for men again.  Cannot wait to add even more......POZ or not.   I have a feeling that 2017 will turn out to be a great year for my ass.

Mine is kind of simple.  I was a lifelong condom nazi.   Then a dude "accidentally" used the wrong lube and the condom tore apart.   He became my first raw cock and first actual load in my ass.   Was terrified, went and got PEP and swore off dick for a while.   But, the feel and memory of that raw meat was overwhelming.   I asked a couple of very safe fuck buds to do me raw....and the complied and it was near magical   Went bareback only on New Years (best resolution ever) ******.   

I am real new to this......just had my "poz card" a month or so.   I have to admit that the first thirty days was kind of rough.  I was just not sure I had done the right thing.  But, as I learned to accept my status...and to look at why I **** in the first place, it got through that.   The last week has been much better and I am becoming much much happier being POZ.   I had some regret, but that has passed and I am thrilled with my choice.   I am fucking POZ and I love it.

a great story underway.  hope he has an interesting path to the second half of the brand

17 minutes ago, MuscledHorse said:

an east TN group should get started...maybe meet at Timberfell once every couple months for some solid open fun.

glad to help organize....in WNC...but near the border.....live about 40 minutes from Timberfell.....

I am very new to the world of being a cumdump.  For so many years I was a bottom, but too uptight to really let myself go as a cumdump.  Fast forward to March 25, 2017 and I am POZ and have not said no to any available cock this year.   My responses to the times on this test confirm for me that I am FULLY a cumdump now.   I am loving the dick like never before.

Took two nice loads last night.  Both were delivered by a beautiful brown Caribbean dude.  Both skilled and endowed, he bent me over the arm of a chair as soon as he walked in, second eruption was in bedroom, me legs up, him balls deep.   Had his toxic cum during my case and it felt great to enjoy that again.  Really becoming soooo attracted to dark meat....and seems easier to find black and brown guys who are POZ.  

An amazing afternoon at my place.  Was not expecting much for today, but a younger Haitian dude hit me up mid morning.   Even in my short chasing period, I have found of few of those type contacts to be a bit flakey or sketchy.   But, he was true to his word, showed up and spent nearly 30 minutes topping me before he produced what he said was a 7 day eruption.   A brief recharge period and a blow job got him back in action and he took nearly 45 minutes to produce again.   He was the proverbial young, hung and full of cum.

I was shocked when he called a few hours later.  He had a buddy---this guy was from the Dominican Republic, who what to have some too.  Soon they were back, and I was given two loads from each.

Both were very attractive, and both had amazing skills.  And even now, 4 hours later, I can still feel a bit of throbbing from the intense pounding they gave me.   Simply amazing sex.  Add in they were both POZ and unmedicated made it an nearly unbelievable session.

I have to admit to being a reformed condom nazi.   Until an incident last summer, I had never felt a raw cock in my ass.   If it was not wrapped, we were not going to fuck.   Then, last summer, a random top "used the wrong lube" and the condom was destroyed.   No doubt, my attitude resulted in a lot of fear and anger at that situation....and a round of PEP as well was the outcome.   But I could not get that feeling of his raw meat out of my mind.   Later in the summer, I asked a couple of very trusted buddies to do me raw, just to see if it was the raw dick or the risk situation that was so stuck in my head.

Those two experiences told me something about myself.  I loved both the feeling of raw dick and the risk was a huge turn on as well.   In January, I changed all my on line presences to "raw only" or something like that.  It has only been a short time, but I am now very much a confirmed bare backer.   

My first ever unprotected sex was the result of a guy using the wrong lube and destroying the condom.  No doubt he did that intentionally. It was, for a safe only guy, a terrifying experience.  I nearly ran out of his place and went to an ER to get on PEP, just in case.

But, that feeling did not leave me.  It became a near obsession.   I finally arranged for two very safe (guys I knew and trusted) but raw adventures.   No doubt there was still some fear, but I could more enjoy the differences between condom and unprotected sex.

I had thought those two encounters would end the obsession.  In spite of all the fear, I knew I wanted more and I knew that wanted to experience sex with a POZ man as well.

Last Saturday, that obsession turned very real as I submitted to a high VL top for unprotected sex.  The fear was there, but the enjoyment of the experience was there in counter balance.   Now I can say that I have had three men and 4 "risk experiences".   It may seem odd to say, but each experience turns out to be more intense and enjoyable than the previous one.  Most surprising, by man #3,  my fear had nearly totally lifted and I could focus on enjoying the sexual intercourse.

Only two loads so far this year.   But, before you laugh at my small number consider that prior to year end I was a life long condom nazi.  These two loads were my first really random raw loads and for certain, my first delivered by a known unmedicated POZ top.   

From my viewpoint, those two loads (same guy) included more thought, fear, lust, erotic energy and satisfaction than a full year of safe sex.

Although I have had some second thoughts since betting my "poz cherry" busted, nearly all I can think of is repeating that experience as often as I can.  

There seems to be, for me at least, some magic in POZ sex.  I simply have to experience more.

So many impressive load counts.  I have only two this year.  Both raw ( a huge change for me) but both very safe...guys I know who understood I am just starting to open up my sexual experiences.   I am working on getting something arranged for a raw and detectable guy to top me now.   I know I am going to do it....just a matter of when now.   Hopefully, it will open up my perspectives on sex and let me acquire load counts like some of the other posters here.   

New to the site.  Have to admit to being a #1 for years.  Just recently had my first raw sex and have committed to becoming a 5-6.